Reflection in a Different Mirror

[ahunter3]

I go on Facebook and encounter an image of an (apparently) male person staring in the mirror, caption says this person is trying on his mom's clothes while she's out; reflection in the mirror shows an (apparently) female person in bra and briefs staring back; thought bubble says "Wow, I look BEAUTIFUL"; caption below says "... and then she knew who

Comments

[kanzeon_2040]

On Reddit I ran into somebody who said that for them, not even sex itself is about sexual attraction, and they dislike how everybody frames sex in terms of whether you are sexually attracted to another person. They said that they may engage in sex with somebody because the sex act is itself enjoyable, or because they want the other person to enjoy the sex act.

I didn't have time to write in my journal about this at the time, but you've reminded me about it and now I want to write about this perspective.

The person said, for example, that the way sex is framed as about sexual attraction is pitched as - you don't have to consent to sex with somebody if you aren't sexually attracted to them. As though sexual attraction is the primary determinant of consent.

[ahunter3]

Yeah, that's a related but different point, and an important one. I remember a rape victim's advocacy speaker blasting the implicit notion that one's right to withhold consent is somehow contingent on not feeling any attraction, not having any sexual interest, not experiencing any arousal.