Supernatural RPS fic: Playing with Fire (Jensen/Jared) 2/3
Title: Playing with Fire
Author: agt_spooky
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 9,121 this part (30,156 total for three parts)
Genre: Firefighter AU, Angst, Established relationship
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: It’s RPS, people. It never happened, but I wish it would. :-)
Author’s Notes: Many thanks, as always, to my fabulous beta, charityflint, who really whipped this puppy into shape, to sn_24lover for her great input along the way and to wilde_moon for surprising me with the awesome banner.
Summary: Fireman!Jensen and Paramedic!Jared are back in this sequel to Light My Fire.
It’s five months later and Jensen is nearly a full-fledged paramedic. But becoming a medic means no longer being able to work with Jared at Station 127 and giving up his chance at a promotion to Lieutenant. As graduation looms, will Jensen change his mind? Then add in a young man Jensen rescues from a fire that becomes an obsessed stalker, and Jared’s altercation with a victim’s husband that threatens his career, and things turn explosive at the FDNY.
(banner created by wilde_moon and agt_spooky)
FROM PART 1:
The pain etched on Jared’s face had Jensen’s heart clenching in his chest, and when Jared reached out for him, Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared without a word, holding him close as Jared’s shoulders shook and silent tears fell from hazel eyes.
Playing with Fire
By AgtSpooky
PART 2
Normally Jensen would’ve been grateful for an uninterrupted 8-hour night with no calls, but he would’ve given anything for a simple trash fire last night to stop him from closing his eyes. Because every time he did, all he could see were three small bodies, floating in the water. He tossed and turned the entire night, watching across from him as Jared did the same. They were both bleary-eyed by the time shift change happened at 8:00 am, blinking into the sunlight as they stepped out of the station house, waving good-bye to the rest of their crew.
“Your place or mine?” Jensen asked, realizing that soon it would be just their place.
“My mailbox is probably overflowing,” Jared replied.
“Yours it is, then,” Jensen said, stepping to the curb and hailing a cab, which arrived just fifteen seconds later.
They were quiet on the 10-block ride, sitting close together, legs touching. They were almost at Jared’s apartment when the younger man bumped Jensen’s shoulder and indicated out the window with a tip of his head and a small grin. Jensen looked over and felt his face warm as they passed by Casey’s bar, where he and Jared had first met.
“We haven’t been there in awhile,” Jensen said. “Maybe we should go tonight. Get our mind off things.”
Jared nodded as the cab pulled up to his building and he opened the door. “Might be a good idea.”
Jared said hello to one of his neighbors as they entered the building, stopping to pull his mail out of his box before they climbed the stairs to his third floor apartment. It was bright and warm with the morning sun when they walked in, Jared heading to the kitchen with Jensen following.
“Want coffee?” Jensen asked.
Jared shook his head, slumping down wearily onto one of the kitchen chairs, spreading his mail out in front of him. He picked up one envelope before tossing it down, unopened, closing his eyes, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Jensen stepped up to him and Jared turned on the chair, legs on either side of Jensen.
Jensen ran his fingers through Jared’s hair. “Do I look as bad as you do?”
Jared chuckled, then leaned forward, resting his head on Jensen’s chest, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s waist. Jensen smiled tiredly, rubbing a hand soothingly up and down Jared’s back.
“C’mon,” he said softly after a few minutes, urging Jared up from the chair, leading him into the bedroom.
He kissed Jared tenderly, then helped him off with his clothes, down to his boxers. While Jared pulled back the covers on the bed and climbed in, Jensen stripped down to his own boxers then slid in with Jared.
Jared smiled and pulled Jensen close, sighing contentedly. “God, this feels nice,” he murmured, before pressing his lips gently against Jensen’s.
Their kisses were soft and languid, a lazy slide of tongues, while hands caressed bare skin, the purpose not to arouse, just the need to feel close to one another. Several long minutes later they let the kisses gradually end, resting their foreheads against one another. Jensen felt his eyelids drooping, sleep creeping up to claim him and he let it, wrapped in Jared’s arms where nightmares couldn’t reach him.
~~~~
It was nearly noon when Jensen woke to the soft sensation of Jared running his fingers along his bare arm. He blinked and stretched, opening his eyes to find Jared watching him, the pain he’d been carrying since yesterday nearly gone from his handsome features now.
“Hey,” Jensen smiled.
“Hey, yourself,” Jared replied, leaning in for a kiss.
“Feeling better?” Jensen asked.
Jared nodded, blowing out a breath. “Yeah. I hope we don’t have a repeat of yesterday anytime soon, though.”
The mention of yesterday had a thought popping into Jensen’s head. “Oh, man, I forgot to ask you, with everything going on yesterday - did Alix talk to you?’
Jared’s brow furrowed. “About what?”
“About her leaving 127.”
Jared’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“Wait, let me start at the beginning,” Jensen replied. “When Jeff called me in his office yesterday morning he said he didn’t want me to leave the engine company. He wants me to stay and take the Lieutenant’s exam. Says he can see me as Captain in less than five years.”
Jared’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? Well, what - what did you tell him?”
“Nothing, really. He just told me to think about it.”
Jared glanced down, rubbing his thumb absently on Jensen’s stomach. “And have you? It’s a great opportunity for you, Jen.”
“I didn’t really have time to think about it before Alix asked me to come up to the dorms and talk to her. That’s when she told me she’s leaving after my probation is over - so that the two of us can still work together. And that decided it for me.”
Jared’s jaw dropped. “I can’t - I can’t believe she’d do that for us.”
“She wants the two of us to have each other’s backs and I couldn’t disagree with her. After Ryan…” Jensen trailed off.
Jared kissed him. “I know,” he replied softly. “I don’t even know how to thank her for this. We have to do something amazing for her, Jen.”
Jensen nodded. “We will. Oh, and she’s just transferring over to 51, so she’ll be around.”
“Excellent,” Jared smiled. “Speaking of paramedics, someone has their last two finals coming up. Let me quiz you.”
Jensen smirked, rolling on top of Jared, rubbing against him. “Can we start with anatomy?”
~~~~~
Following the FDNY’s 24-hour-on/48-hour-off policy, two days later Jensen was mopping the apparatus room floor when Toby came looking for him.
“Hey, Jen, there’s a guy out front that wants to see you.”
Intrigued, Jensen propped the mop against the wall and went to the front door of the station, stepping out into the late afternoon sun. In front of him stood a young man about his age with blonde hair and blue eyes. His appearance was a bit unkempt - clothes a bit too big on his frame, holes in the knees of his jeans and ratty gym shoes.
“Um, hi,” the man began with a nervous smile. “Do you remember me?”
And suddenly it clicked into place for Jensen - this was the man he’d carried out of the fire last shift. “The apartment fire on Bedford.”
The man’s face lit up. “Yeah!” Then he stuck out his hand. “I’m Eric Donovan.”
Jensen smiled back, shaking Eric’s hand. “Nice to meet you under better circumstances, Eric.”
Eric chuckled. “Oh man, you’re telling me. I just - I had to come and see you.” He swallowed. “You saved my life. And I don’t know how to thank you.”
Jensen was warmed by Eric’s thanks, but he attempted to professionally shrug it off. “It’s all part of the job,” he answered with a smile.
But Eric shook his head. “No, it was more than that. You risked your own life by giving me your oxygen. I would’ve died if it wasn’t for you. I’ll never forget what you did for me.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Jensen said sincerely.
Eric extended his hand again. “Thanks to you I am,” he answered. And with a smile and a final handshake that lingered maybe a bit too long, he turned and walked back up the sidewalk.
Jensen watched Eric go, smiling to himself. That right there was what made this hard, dangerous job all worth it.
~~~~~
The next afternoon, Jensen pushed open the doors to the community college classroom for the last time. The atmosphere in the room was upbeat with the knowledge that everyone was just two tests away from graduation and becoming full fledged paramedics.
Jensen smiled and greeted his fellow classmates as he made his way down the aisle to his seat, squashing down his nervousness about these last two difficult exams. He knew this material. All he had to do was take his time, and in another few days his acceptance letter into the paramedics would be in his mailbox.
Jensen picked up his pencil. He was ready.
~~~~~
Next shift at the station, Jensen was in the kitchen putting away vegetables, gallons of milk, bags of chips and other various odds and ends from the grocery run when Jeff walked in.
“Hey, Cap,” Jensen greeted him, putting a gallon of rocky road ice cream in the freezer.
Jeff propped himself on the edge of the table. “So Alix tells me she’s transferring out to 51. Looks like I’m gonna lose you to the medics, huh?” he smiled.
Jensen closed the freezer door and turned to face Jeff. “Your confidence in me means the world, Cap, that you think I could go on to Lieutenant and even further, but I think being a medic is where my career path lies.”
Jeff stood and clasped his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “I still think Captain’s bars would look good on you, but I know you’ll be an incredible medic. You and Jared will make a good team.”
“Thanks, Cap,” Jensen smiled, as Tom stuck his head in the kitchen doorway.
“Hey, Jen, there’s a guy out front to see you.”
“Okay, thanks, Tom,” Jensen replied, Jeff patting his shoulder once more before moving out of Jensen’s way.
“Looks like someone’s got an admirer,” Kyle joked as Jensen passed him on the stairs.
And sure enough, there stood Eric Donovan out on the sidewalk in front of the station.
“Eric? Um, hi. Is there something I can do for you?” Jensen asked, confused to see the man again.
“Jensen!” A smile split Eric’s face and he bounced lightly on his feet. “Um, I know this doesn’t compare to you saving my life, but I’ve got two tickets to the Knicks game on the 12th.” He stepped a little closer to Jensen. “And I’d like to take you. To thank you and all.”
“Oh…” Jensen paused, it becoming suddenly clear that Eric meant for this to be a date, not just a friendly gesture. “I appreciate the offer, Eric, but I’m on duty that night. And really, you don’t need to do anything for me. You stopping by the station the other day was thanks enough.”
Eric’s face fell. “But I want - “ He stopped himself mid-sentence as the front door opened.
“There you are,” Jared smiled at Jensen, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. “Lunch is ready,” he told him, coming to stand next to Jensen, casually touching his hand to the small of Jensen’s back, as he often did. But the moment he did so, Jensen caught a flash of…something, in Eric’s eyes. Anger?
“Oh, umm, thanks,” Jensen replied distractedly, caught off guard by Eric’s reaction. “Jared, this is Eric Donovan.”
“Oh, yeah, from the apartment fire,” Jared nodded. “Jensen mentioned you stopped by the other day. I’m the paramedic that brought you to Mercy.”
Eric barely flicked a glance at Jared, his eyes on Jensen. “Yeah, thanks.”
“Listen, Eric, I’ve gotta run,” Jensen said. “Thanks again for stopping by. Take care of yourself, okay?” he ended, hoping that Eric took the hint.
Eric nodded slowly. “I’ll see you around, Jensen,” he replied, turning and crossing the street.
“What did he want?” Jared asked.
“To take me to a Knicks game, to thank me for pulling him out of the building.”
Jared chuckled, leaning in close to Jensen’s ear. “Should I be jealous?”
Jensen shoved Jared with his shoulder. “He was just…being grateful. And I think I made it clear I’m not interested.”
But an uneasy feeling still settled in the pit of his stomach as he watched Eric walk away.
~~~~~
The station was quiet and dark, the dorms echoing with the soft sounds of slumber from the crew of 127 when the station alarm sounded, shattering the stillness of the pre-dawn hours.
“Engine 127 - vehicle fire. 1500 block of Wythe Avenue, cross street Metropolitan. Time out - 3:11.”
Jensen, Kyle, Tom and Jeff scrubbed hands over their faces as they pushed off their blankets, jammed their feet into their boots and pulled up their turnout pants that stood ready and waiting next to their bunks.
Jared cracked open one eye. “Have fun,” he mumbled before turning over, earning a swat to the head from Jensen as he headed to the fire pole.
Kyle had the door to Bay Three opening as Jensen hit the apparatus room floor. He quickly jogged over to the equipment room to snag his jacket and helmet, then hopped on board the engine, taking his place in the jump seat.
The red and white lights lit up the nearly deserted streets as Kyle drove them to their destination, several blocks away. It was a street of restaurants and small shops, all closed for the night, with a car consumed in flames burning alongside the curb.
Kyle stopped the engine a safe distance away, then hurried to hook the intake hose to the nearby fire hydrant, while Jeff instructed Tom and Jensen.
“Ackles! Reel line! Welling, get an inch and a half!”
“Yes, Cap!” Tom and Jensen chorused, pulling down their respective hoses and advancing on the fiery vehicle.
“Keep your distance!” Jeff yelled. “It could go - “
The rest of his words were lost to the explosion that tore through the car, a fireball lighting up the night sky. Tom and Jensen instinctively dropped to their knees, turning their heads away as burning hot metallic debris rained down upon them. They were on their feet the moment the explosion subsided, turning on their hoses as one, powerful jets of water streaming out to extinguish the blaze.
As they advanced once more upon the car, motion to Jensen’s right had him taking his gaze away from the fire for a brief moment. There, standing at the entrance to the alley was a man, half in shadow, half illuminated by the street light. Jensen’s brow furrowed, sure he was seeing things.
Eric?
Needing his full attention on the blaze before him, Jensen had to look away until the car was reduced to nothing more than a smoking skeleton, but the moment it was safe to do so, Jensen looked back at the alley. The man was gone.
It had only been a split second, but the more Jensen thought about it, the more he was convinced that it had been Eric standing there, watching him.
And the feeling of unease in Jensen’s stomach doubled.
~~~~~
Back at the station about an hour later, the four men moved quietly about the dorms, trying not to wake the rest of their sleeping crew as they crawled back into their own bunks. Jensen was slipping out of his boots and pants when Jared’s low, sleepy voice reached him.
“Everything go okay?”
Jensen sighed and shook his head, moving to sit on the floor next to Jared’s bunk. “I think - I think I saw Eric there.”
Jared’s eyes widened and he came fully awake. “Are you serious?”
Jensen nodded. “It was only a split second, but I swear it was him, watching me. And I’m wondering if it was him who torched that car.”
“God, do you think so?”
Jensen nodded again. “Think about it. Flaming car at 3 a.m. on a deserted, non-residential street. What was he doing there if he didn’t set the fire and then call it in?”
Jared’s forehead creased. “Knowing you’d be responding because he knew you were on duty today.” Jared’s jaw clenched. “Something tells me he’s not going to go away as easily as you thought he would.”
Jensen’s mouth was a tight line. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
~~~~~
The white envelope with the FDNY crest was staring up at Jensen when he opened his mailbox the next afternoon.
This was it.
He reached out and took it gently between his fingers, staring at his name typed neatly on the label the entire way back up to his apartment. He walked into his bedroom, hearing Jared in the bathroom, and just stood there looking at the envelope, the contents of which would determine his path in the FDNY - acceptance into the medics or not. Blowing out a breath, Jensen turned the envelope over and ran his finger under the flap, then slowly removed the piece of FDNY letterhead, unfolding it…
Dear Mr. Ackles,
We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance into the paramedics program of the FDNY.
“Was there ever any doubt?”
Jensen started as Jared stepped up behind him, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s waist, kissing the side of Jensen’s neck.
“I knew you could do it, Jen,” Jared smiled against Jensen’s hair.
Jensen released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and sagged back against Jared, looking at their reflection in the mirror over the dresser.
“You’re gonna pin me, right?” Jensen asked, already visualizing the silver EMS pins on the collar of his new uniform at graduation.
“Damn straight I am,” Jared replied, then kissed Jensen’s temple. “Now, let’s go have lunch and celebrate.”
“Actually…” Jensen paused. “Can we make it dinner instead?” He ran his fingers across the letter. “There’s someplace I wanna go now,” he finished quietly.
Jared’s smile was soft with understanding, his voice a whisper against Jensen’s ear. “He’s proud of you, too.”
And Jensen could only nod, unable to answer around the sudden lump in his throat.
~~~~~
The dried leaves crunched underfoot as Jensen walked among the rows of granite stones. It had been a few months since he’d been here, but his feet knew the way, taking him halfway across the cemetery until stopping him in front of a black granite marker. He kneeled down in front of the headstone, brushing away several leaves, his fingers tracing over the words.
RYAN MATTHEWS
Forever in our hearts
“Hi, Ry,” Jensen said softly, placing the flowers he was carrying down in front of the headstone. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here in awhile.”
He took the acceptance letter out of his inner jacket pocket. “I did it, Ry,” he smiled. “And it’s all because of you,” he said, trying to speak around the emotion threatening to close up his throat. “It was you that encouraged me to get my EMT certification. Told me I’d make a damn fine medic.”
Jensen swallowed thickly, feeling tears start to prick behind his eyes. “I wish you could see me up there on that stage,” he whispered, brushing away a single tear that finally broke free. “Maybe you can. I hope you can.”
He took a long, shaky breath. “I miss you,” he breathed, fingers tracing the name of the man he’d loved for years. “I’m doing okay, but I still miss you…”
~~~~~
The crew was just finishing up breakfast at the start of the next shift when Jared stood up from the long table, his glass of orange juice in his hand.
“If I could have your attention for a second,” he said, and everyone quieted and looked at him curiously as he laid a hand on Jensen’s shoulder, who was seated next to him. “I have an important announcement to make.”
“Oh, God, Jenny’s pregnant!” Tom cracked and everyone burst into laughter. Jared gave Tom a playful, but withering look while Jensen leaned forward and banged his head on the table.
“Sorry, Tom, not yet,” Jared joked back. “But when he is, we’ll be sure to name our first-born after you.”
More laughter from the crew until Jared waved his glass of juice. “No, seriously, guys…I’m happy to announce that Jensen got his acceptance letter on Saturday. You’re looking at Station 127’s new paramedic,” Jared finished, beaming down at Jensen.
The table burst into applause, everyone standing up to come over to Jensen and congratulate him with handshakes and pats on the back.
“Graduation ceremony’s tomorrow night at seven,” Jensen told his crew. “And I expect to see all of your ugly mugs in the audience,” he smiled.
“I’ll bring the air horn for when your name’s announced, Jen!” Toby called out, laughing.
“Oh, hey, do you get to wear a cute cap and gown?” Kyle teased.
The joking continued and all Jensen could do was groan and roll his eyes, wondering if it was too late to un-invite them all.
~~~~~
About an hour before the end of the shift the next morning, Jensen was polishing the engine with Kyle as Alix and Jared did inventory in the bus when the station alarm sounded.
“Squad 127 - 911 hang up. 441 Nassau Avenue, apartment 1, cross street Banker. Time out - 7:02.”
“I’ll wait for you,” Jensen called over to Jared as the medic hopped out of the back of the bus and headed for the passenger side.
“Not too long! You gotta go pick up your new uniform for tonight!” Jared replied, then he and Alix were gone, with Jensen suddenly realizing that the next time the bus went out on a run, he’d be inside it, not watching it leave the bay.
~~~~~
It was just over an hour later and Jensen was up in the common room, talking with the guys on B shift when he heard the rumble of the bay door opening, signaling the arrival of Alix and Jared. He said his goodbye’s to the other crew, then started jogging down the stairs to the apparatus room. About halfway down he heard raised voices, angry voices - both Jared’s and Alix’s. Having never heard the two of them say one cross word to each other, Jensen was immediately concerned and picked up his pace. He’d no more than reached the bottom of the stairs and Jared was pushing past him, heading up, his face a storm cloud of emotion.
“Jared! Damn it, Jared!” Alix was yelling.
“Alix? What the hell is going on?” Jensen demanded, going over to the upset medic.
Alix shook her head, running her hand through her dark hair. “Jared - he punched our victim’s husband.”
Jensen’s jaw dropped. “He what?! Why?”
Alix took a breath. “The 911 hang up ended up being a domestic. The husband was smacking the wife around and she called us but he cut the call off. She answered the door, lip busted open, eye swollen, cut on her temple. Just as she lets us in the husband appears, saying he called dispatch back to cancel us. That his wife fell and they panicked, but she’s okay now and we can leave. Of course we’re not buying it for an instant. I take the wife into the living room and sit her down on the couch. Her little boy comes wandering out of the bedroom, tear tracks on his face.”
Alix shook her head. “Poor kid, having to see that crap go on between his parents. Anyway, I kneel down in front of her, with my back to Jared and the husband, who Jared has taken back over to the front door, where he’s talking to him, but I can’t really make out what he’s saying.
“The next thing I know, I hear a scuffle behind me. I turn just in time to see the husband hit the floor, blood gushing from his nose and Jared standing over him, his hand still in a fist.”
Jensen was flabbergasted. “What the hell?”
Alix threw her hands out to her sides. “I don’t know! Things went crazy after that - the husband screaming at us to get out, saying he’s going to file a complaint against Jared, with Jared swearing that the husband swung first and he was defending himself. The wife had to have seen everything, but she wouldn’t say a word. I patched her up, but the husband wouldn’t let me near him and we got out of there.”
“Did Jared say what happened between him and the husband?”
“He hasn’t spoken a word since we left the apartment. No explanation, nothing.” Alix reached out and put a hand on Jensen’s arm. “Jen, if this guy files a complaint, and with Jared still on probation…”
Jensen sighed heavily. “I know, Alix. Okay, let me go talk to him.”
Jensen took the stairs two at a time up to the common room, but Jared was nowhere to be found, so Jensen continued upstairs to the dorms, where he spied Jared at the far end, staring out the window.
“Hey,” Jensen called out as he strode across the room. “Jared.”
No response from the young medic and Jensen felt his temper rise, grasping Jared’s upper arm and turning him around.
“What the hell is going on with you?” Jensen demanded.
“Nothing,” Jared ground out, trying to turn back to the window but Jensen wouldn’t let him.
“Talk to me, Jared! Tell me why you hit that guy!”
But Jared remained stubbornly silent, his jaw muscle clenching.
Jensen shook his head in frustration. “Do you realize you’ve jeopardized your entire career because of this? You’re still on probation for another month! You know that means that the slightest thing can get you fired. And if this guy files a complaint against you -“
“Padalecki!”
Both Jensen and Jared’s heads jerked toward the stairwell as Jeff’s angry voice floated up it.
“Padalecki! In my office, NOW!”
After a moment’s hesitation Jared turned and headed for the stairs, his movements stiff, Jensen on his heels. Jeff was standing in the doorway of his office, anger coloring his features. Jared went inside without a word and Jeff slammed the door behind them.
“Did he say anything to you?”
Jensen looked to his right and saw Alix stand up from the couch. He shook his head, turning back to look through the window in Jeff’s office. “No, not a word,” he replied, watching as things grew heated between Jeff and Jared, wishing he could hear what they were saying. Finally Jeff pointed at the door and Jared stalked over to it, throwing it open, and without a glance at Jensen and Alix, marched down the stairs.
“Cap, what’s going on?” Alix quickly asked Jeff, who was now standing in the doorway.
Jeff ran a hand through his short hair, sighing. “Your victim’s husband didn’t waste any time filing a complaint. Jared’s been suspended pending an investigation. And with his out-of-state transfer probationary status, this could easily get him fired.” He pinned Jensen with his gaze. “There’s got to be a good explanation because this isn’t like Jared. I don’t want to lose that kid. Jensen, find out what the hell went on.”
Jensen looked at the stairs where Jared had disappeared. “I will, Cap. I will.”
~~~~~
Finding Jared to ask him, however, quickly turned into a problem. Jensen immediately took a cab to Jared’s apartment, confident that that’s where he’d be, but the apartment was empty. He started calling Jared next, but the younger man never picked up, Jensen leaving a dozen voice mails.
Having no clue where Jared could be, Jensen remained at the apartment until late afternoon, anger warring with concern over Jared’s whereabouts. Finally, Jensen had no choice but to leave, needing to get to FDNY headquarters to pick up his new uniform for graduation that night.
With a note left on Jared’s kitchen table, a plea for him to please call, Jensen turned off the light and locked the door, wondering where the hell Jared was, and praying he was all right.
~~~~~
Several hours later Jensen was pacing the hallway of the auditorium at the community college, scanning the incoming crowd for any sign of Jared. All around him were his fellow classmates and their family, friends and co-workers, all of the fire department personnel in their dress uniforms. His own crew was here, mingling in the hallway before the start of the ceremony, which began in fifteen minutes.
“Damn it, Jared, where are you?” Jensen muttered to himself, eyes glued to the front doors, his EMS pins digging into his palm as he squeezed his fist.
“You still haven’t heard from him?” Alix asked as she approached Jensen.
Jensen just clenched his jaw and shook his head tersely.
Alix laid her hand on Jensen’s arm. “He’ll be here, Jen. He knows how much this night means to you. I’ll make sure the seat next to me stays open.”
But five minutes later, when everyone began moving into the auditorium to take their seats and Jared still hadn’t arrived, Jensen walked up to Jeff.
“Cap? Um, I was wondering…” he held out the two silver EMS pins, “…if you would pin me tonight.”
Jeff smiled and laid a hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “I’d be honored to, son.” He took the pins from Jensen’s hand. “I know Jared was supposed to be doing this, and I’m sorry he’s not here.”
Jensen tried to hide his disappointment. “But you are, Cap, and I really appreciate you doing this for me. I’ll see you on stage,” he nodded, then went to stand in line with his classmates, still watching the front door until he had to file inside.
~~~~~
“…the service you provide allows the Department to say it is second to none when it comes to keeping citizens and our firefighters safe. You are about to embark on what might be the most exciting and challenging period of your professional lives. Congratulations.”
Jensen blinked as applause followed Fire Commissioner Nathan Scoppellini’s speech, realizing he had tuned out most of it, lost in his own thoughts, centered around the still missing Jared.
As the Commissioner left the podium, Chief of EMS Anthony Ruggeri stepped forward and began calling out the names of the 87 members of Jensen’s graduating class. One by one they stepped forward to receive their diploma and to have their EMS pins placed on their collar by a friend, family member or co-worker.
“Jensen Ackles.”
Jensen pasted on a smile as his name was announced, walking to the podium to shake hands with Chief Ruggeri and receive his diploma. Then Jeff was there in front of him, fastening the EMS pins to his collar, his crew members making a spectacle of themselves as they jumped to their feet, clapping and cheering.
“Congratulations, Jensen,” Jeff said with a smile and a warm handshake.
“Thank you, Cap,” Jensen replied, forcing another smile, thinking that this should be the best night of his life, but instead all he could think about was the empty seat next to Alix and the ache inside his chest.
~~~~~
Jensen walked slowly up the street to the front door of his apartment building, a decent amount of alcohol thrumming through his veins. He hadn’t been in the mood to party after the graduation ceremony, but his crew wouldn’t take no for an answer. So he found himself at a bar near the college, downing several beers in an attempt to have fun and celebrate his achievement. An attempt that fell flat as his thoughts turned again and again to Jared, once more anger warring with concern over the younger man.
He’d finally bid his friends goodnight just before midnight and started making his way back home in the cool October night, needing the fresh air after the overcrowed bar.
Just as Jensen reached the stairs leading up to the door of his building a figure stepped out of the darkness, startling him, making him take a stutter step backwards.
“Hi, Jensen,” the man said, moving out into the light.
Jensen felt himself immediately sober up when he saw who it was. “Eric? What are you doing here?”
The blonde man shrugged, stepping closer. “I wanted to see you again.”
Thinking quickly, Jensen decided to see if his suspicions were correct about the vehicle fire. “But didn’t you see me the other night? At the car fire?”
Eric nodded, smiling in a way that made Jensen’s skin crawl. “I did and you were great. But we didn’t get a chance to talk. So I’ve been waiting for you to get home. I know you said you couldn’t go to the basketball game, so I want to take you to dinner tomorrow instead.”
Jensen felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He needed to put a stop to this once and for all. “Eric, listen to me. You need to stop this. I’m not interested.”
Eric’s eyes narrowed. “Why?” he demanded. “Is it because of him? Jared?” he sneered. “I saw him go inside earlier.”
This time it was Jensen that stepped forward, angry. “My relationship with Jared is none of your damn business. Now I want you gone and I don’t ever want to see you again. Are we clear?” He stared hard at the blonde-haired man for several seconds before quickly walking up the stairs and going inside his building.
Once inside he paused and took a steadying breath. To say that he was disturbed by Eric would be an understatement. How this had gone sideways from a grateful victim into what was nearly a stalker situation that most likely now involved arson, was hard for Jensen to wrap his mind around. He could only hope that this time Eric had gotten the message and he would never see him again.
Shaking off the encounter with Eric, suddenly remembering that he had said that he’d seen Jared enter the building, Jensen hurried up the stairs to his apartment. He opened the door to darkness, the only light coming from the moon shining in through the living room window, illuminating a tall figure sitting in the chair.
Closing the door behind him, Jensen walked into the living room, shrugging out of his jacket, feeling anger rise within in him now that he knew Jared was all right, but had been ignoring him all day.
“Where the hell have you been?” Jensen demanded. “I called you all day. And tonight…you didn’t even show up to the ceremony. You know how much it meant to me for you to be there, to put those pins on my collar,” Jensen finished, not trying to hide the hurt in his voice.
Jared blinked slowly and Jensen could see how haggard he looked, how pained.
“I’m sorry,” Jared whispered roughly, reaching out and tugging Jensen closer, resting his forehead against Jensen’s chest, his arms around Jensen’s waist.
When it became apparent after a few moments that Jared was not going to say any more, Jensen took him by his shoulders and straightened him back up.
“That’s not going to cut it, Jared,” Jensen told him softly but firmly, needing to get to the bottom of this. “I think I deserve an explanation as to what’s going on with you.”
Jared nodded stiffly, then ran a hand over his face. “I never told you this,” he began, voice like sandpaper. “But my dad, Gerry, he’s actually my step-father. My real father was an alcoholic bastard who used to beat the crap out of my mother on a regular basis.”
Jensen was floored. “Jesus, Jared,” he breathed, lowering himself to sit on the edge of the coffee table, resting a hand on Jared’s knee.
“Sometimes when it got bad my older brother Jeff would call 911 and the paramedics would come out,” Jared continued. “Of course my mom would always have some lie to tell them about what happened. But there was this one paramedic, her name was Cheryl, that was usually the one that responded.” Jared paused, a small smile crossing his face. “She was great. Not only with my mom, but with me and Jeff and Megan. We were just kids, upset and crying and she’d help get us calmed down.
“She knew what was really going on between my mom and dad and kept encouraging my mom to leave him. Not just for herself, but for us kids, too. She’d give my mom the names of shelters for battered women, tell her that it would be hard, but she could do it. That she needed to do it.”
Jared smiled again. “And she did. It took awhile, but she left my father. And yeah, it was hard but she never gave in and went back to him. Several years later she met Gerry and I got the father I always wished that I’d had.”
Jared rested his hand on top of Jensen’s. “I really looked up to Cheryl. She not only helped people physically, but emotionally, too. She’s the reason I became a paramedic.”
It took a minute for Jensen to find his voice after Jared’s story. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that. No wonder seeing that today had to be tough on you.”
Jared nodded. “It was like my childhood all over again. Seeing that little boy there crying, just like I was, with Alix working on the mother.” Jared’s jaw clenched. “And that bastard standing there. I told him I’d better not get called back there again. That this was my district and I protected the people in it and I wouldn’t stand by and watch this continue. He told me it was none of my damn business. That she deserved it.”
Jared shook his head, furious. “I nearly lost it right then and there. I told him I was making it my business and in the next second he’s swinging at me.” Jared turned pleading eyes on Jensen. “I swear I never meant to hit him back. It was just instinct, defending myself. It happened so fast…suddenly he’s on the floor with a broken nose. And now it’s my word against his, and he’s got the injury, not me.” Jared buried his face in his hands. “God, Jen, I really fucked up. This is going to cost me my career.”
Jensen squeezed Jared’s shoulder. “Not if we can convince the wife to come forward. Alix said that she had to have seen the whole thing.”
Jared lifted his head. “Jen, she’s terrified of that guy.”
“And so was your mother of your father. But Cheryl got through to her. And I’ve seen how amazing you are with everyone you treat, how they respond to you. And I believe she will, too.”
Jared was quiet for a moment, then he nodded slowly. “Okay, I’ll try. I’ll see if I can get a hold of her in the morning.”
Jensen smiled softly, squeezing Jared’s hand. “C’mon, let’s go to bed. You’re exhausted.”
Jared blew out a long breath and leaned forward, closing his eyes, resting his head on Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen threaded his fingers through Jared’s hair and kissed the top of his head before urging Jared to his feet. They’d only taken a couple of steps when Jared tugged on Jensen’s wrist and pulled him into his arms, holding tight, his voice low and full of apology.
“I never meant to ruin your graduation, Jen. I thought it would be better if I wasn’t there, with the headspace I was in. I’m so sorry…”
Jensen pulled back a bit and kissed Jared gently. “It’s okay. I wish you’d been there, but I understand. I really do.”
“Love you so much, Jen,” Jared murmured with a soft, lingering kiss, then led them into the bedroom.
Jensen carefully hung up his new uniform in the closet then stripped down to bare skin as Jared did as well, joining the younger man under the blankets. Jared tangled himself around Jensen, his head resting on Jensen’s shoulder, fingers brushing over Jensen’s chest. Jensen could feel the younger man finally starting to relax, and he hated to bring this up, but he needed to know.
“I know this day’s been tough enough, but…Jare, when I got home tonight Eric was outside waiting for me.”
Jared’s head shot up from Jensen’s shoulder. “What? What the hell did he want?”
“To ask me out again.”
“Jen, this’s gotta stop.”
“I know and I told him that. That I wasn’t interested, end of story.” Jensen paused. “He knows that we’re together. He saw you come up here. And that got him…agitated. He also told me that he was at that car fire the other night.”
Jared’s hazel eyes were worried. “Jen…this guy’s not taking no for an answer and you’ve turned him down twice. Do you think he’s capable of physical violence toward you? Because this whole situation is beginning to scare me.”
“I don’t know. But I’m gonna call Mike tomorrow, see if he can give me any information on this guy.” Jensen linked his fingers with Jared’s. “’Cause he’s starting to scare me, too.”
~~~~~
The next morning, while Jared called Information for the phone number of Sarah Westman, the battered wife, Jensen got on the phone to Mike Rosenbaum.
“Mike? Hey, it’s Jensen.”
“Jensen! Hey man, what’s up?”
“Are you on duty?”
“Sure am, why?”
“Can you look someone up for me?”
“Yeah, I can do that. Are you having problems with somebody?”
“I might be, Mike. I need to know if this guy’s ever been arrested for anything violent.”
“Whoa. Okay, this sounds serious. Let me get a pen…alright, what’s this guy’s name?”
“Eric Donovan. Blonde hair, blue eyes, slight build, around 28 years old. Last known address was 660 Bedford, apartment 312.”
“Okay, got it. Give me an hour or so and I’ll get back to you. Then you’ll tell me what this is all about, right?”
“I will, Mike. Thanks for the help.”
“No problem, Jen.”
Jensen hung up and heard Jared still on the phone, sitting at the kitchen table.
“I won’t take much of your time, Sarah,” Jared said, voice gentle. “I just really need to speak to you about what happened.”
There was a pause, then Jared was nodding his head, blowing out a breath. “Thank you. Yes, I know where it is. I’ll be there in an hour. Goodbye.”
Jared looked up at Jensen. “She wants to meet us at the park down the street from her apartment in case her husband comes back early.”
Jensen squeezed Jared’s shoulder, his voice projecting confidence toward the younger man, no matter how worried he felt inside. “Everything’s going to work out, Jare. You’ll see.”
~~~~~
An hour later Jared and Jensen walked through the entrance of Hilltop Park, their feet stirring up dried leaves on the path. The autumn morning was warm, and several mothers and their small children dotted the area in and around the playground. Jared scanned the faces of the women before nodding at Jensen, tipping his head to the left.
Even if Jared hadn’t indicated which of the women was Sarah Westman, it would have become immediately apparent to Jensen as they approached the petite brunette. Her face still bore the evidence of yesterday’s beating, vivid bruising around her temple and right eye, as well as her swollen lip. She was tying the shoe of her young son when they walked up, and straightened when she saw them, brushing her long hair over her shoulder.
“Go on, Bobby,” she smiled at her son, who looked to be about seven years-old. “I see Stevie over there. Why don’t you go play with him for awhile?”
“Okay, Mommy,” Bobby replied, giving Sarah a gap-toothed grin before rushing off to find his friend.
“Sarah,” Jared nodded at her. “Thank you for seeing me.” He indicated toward Jensen with his hand. “This is my partner, Jensen, he’s also a paramedic at Station 127.”
“Hello,” she said timidly to Jensen, sitting down on the park bench behind her. Jared joined her on the bench while Jensen remained standing.
“I don’t know what you want from me,” Sarah said to Jared, her voice again small and quiet as she picked nervously at the hem of her sweater, avoiding eye contact with Jared.
But instead of asking Sarah what she had seen yesterday, like Jensen expected Jared to do, he put a finger under Sarah’s chin and she allowed him to turn her to face him.
“Can I ask how long this has been going on?” Jared asked gently.
Sarah pulled her hair back over her shoulder, trying to hide her injuries. “It’s only happened a few times.”
“You know that’s a few times too many, right?” Jared said, his voice still gentle, calming. “You know you don’t deserve this, Sarah, no matter what he’s told you.”
Sarah remained quiet, eyes flicking away from Jared and back again.
“It’s only going to get worse, if you stay with him,” Jared continued. “He’s going to escalate until you end up in the hospital. Or worse.”
Sarah shook her head. “He’s just under a lot of stress right now. You don’t know -“
“Actually, he does,” Jensen broke in quietly, and Sarah looked at Jared quizzically.
“I used to be your son, Sarah,” Jared explained. “Scared and crying as I watched my father physically abusing my mother on a regular basis. And his violence just kept escalating.” Jared reached over and took Sarah’s hand in his. “Thankfully my mother had someone help her see that this wasn’t right, and that she could be strong enough to leave him. And I want to be that person for you, Sarah.”
Jared reached in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper that he placed in Sarah’s hand. “These are the names, addresses and phone numbers of shelters and support groups for battered women around the city. It’ll be hard, but there are people who are there to help you and your son.”
Jensen saw Sarah’s hand shake as she clutched the paper, her eyes holding a hint of tears behind them.
“Sarah,” Jensen said softly. “Did you see what happened between Jared and your husband?”
Sarah’s gaze flicked briefly to Jensen, followed by a long pause before a slow nod.
“And did your husband swing at Jared first?” Jensen pressed gently.
Sarah caught her bottom lip between her teeth and she swallowed hard before answering, her voice barely audible.
“Yes.”
Jensen caught Jared’s gaze and he nodded at the younger man.
“Would you be willing to tell the fire department’s internal affairs bureau?” Jared asked.
Sarah stood up so fast that Jensen took a step backwards.
“I’m - I’m sorry,” she stammered, her voice trembling, and Jensen could see the fear in her eyes. “I don’t think I can help you.”
Jared stood up as well. “This isn’t just about helping me, it’s about helping you and Bobby. About giving you the courage to take the first step toward leaving him.”
Sarah swiped at her eyes. “I just - I don’t know,” she whispered, then turned and called for her son, hurrying away from Jensen and Jared.
Jared sighed deeply as they watched her go, his expression downcast. Jensen stepped up to him, resting his hands on Jared’s hips.
“Hey,” Jensen said softly. “You were amazing with her.”
But Jared shook his head. “I don’t think I got through to her, Jen.”
“You don’t know that. You just gave her a lot to think about. What you told her may be the push she needed. The confidence.”
Jared blew out a weary breath and rested his forehead against Jensen’s. “I hope so.”
Before Jensen could say anything else, his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the display.
“It’s Mike,” he told Jared before answering the call.
“Jensen. I’ve got that information you wanted on Eric Donovan. Can you meet me at the precinct? I’d like to talk to you about this in person.”
“Um, yeah, sure, Mike. We can be there in about 10 minutes.”
“Okay, sounds good. I’ll meet you out front.”
Jensen hung up and turned to Jared. “He wants to talk to me at the precinct.”
Jared’s eyes were worried. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“No,” Jensen agreed. “No, it doesn’t.”
~~~~~
Mike was sitting on the hood of his squad car when the cab dropped Jensen and Jared off in front of the 55th precinct.
“Hey, guys,” Mike greeted them with handshakes.
Jensen crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay, Mike, what’s the deal with this guy?”
Mike shook his head, opening the file sitting on the car next to him. “You’ve got yourself a winner here, Jen. Eric Donovan has been in and out of mental institutions since he was a teenager. He tried to kill himself twice. He’s been arrested twice, once for aggravated assault against his boyfriend at the time and once for suspicion of arson. The charges were dropped on that last one for lack of evidence. And here’s the winner - he applied to the fire academy but failed the psych review.”
Mike closed the file and looked hard at Jensen. “Now tell me how you’re mixed up with this guy.”
Jensen cast a worried glance at Jared, a queasy feeling building in his stomach, then ran a hand over his face. “I pulled him out of a fire a few days ago. He showed up at the station to thank me.” Jensen paused. “And to ask me out.”
Mike nodded. “I think I know where this is going.”
“When I came home the other night, after midnight, he was standing outside my building, waiting for me. I told him once and for all I wasn’t interested and didn’t want to see him again, especially after he started making comments about Jared.”
“Tell him about the car fire,” Jared jumped in.
“Car fire?” Mike cocked his head at Jensen.
“The engine responded to a car fire on Wythe at 3 am the other morning…and I saw Eric standing in the alley, watching me. The fire had to have been arson. And now that you told me that he’s been arrested for it…Mike, this guy’s making me nervous.”
Mike ran a hand over his bald head. “I can see why. Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. I’ll have one of the detectives get in touch with your arson squad about the car fire and give them Eric’s name. Hopefully we can find him and pick him up and get him out of your life.”
Jensen stuck out his hand. “Thanks, Mike, I really appreciate it.”
“No problem, Jen. You two take it easy,” Mike replied, then disappeared inside the precinct house.
“Maybe you really did get through to Eric last night and we won’t see him again,” Jared said, a reassuring hand on Jensen’s back.
“Yeah, maybe,” Jensen muttered, wishing he could believe it.
~~~~~
The rest of the day passed in agonizing slowness, with both men preoccupied with their own thoughts. Especially Jared, wandering restlessly throughout Jensen’s apartment - picking up a book and putting it down, turning on the television then turning it off five minutes later. His suspension began tomorrow and it was weighing heavily on them both. It was hard for Jensen to believe that he would be beginning his career as a paramedic in the morning and Jared’s might be ending.
The stress finally manifested itself in the form of a tension headache in the younger man, and Jared had retired to Jensen’s bedroom several hours ago in an attempt to sleep it off.
Soft noises from his room drew Jensen’s attention in the early evening hours, and he tossed aside the magazine he’d been unsuccessfully trying to read for the last 45 minutes. Between worrying about Eric and Jared he hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything all day.
Rising from the couch, Jensen padded softly down the hallway to his room where Jared was turning over on his side on the bed, blinking open his hazel eyes in the semi-dark.
“Hey, babe,” Jensen said quietly, sitting on the side of the bed. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, running his fingers through Jared’s hair.
Jared blew out a soft breath, leaning into Jensen’s touch. “A little better,” he replied, voice gravelly from sleep.
“C’mere,” Jensen said, scooting up onto the bed, his back against the headboard. He spread his legs, tugging on Jared’s shirt until the other man was settled between them, Jared’s back against Jensen’s chest, his head resting against Jensen’s shoulder.
Jensen placed one hand on Jared’s chest, the fingers of his other hand rising up to rub slow, soothing circles on Jared’s temple. “How’s that?” he whispered.
Jensen could feel Jared’s body relax further against his own, his eyes slipping closed. “Feels good,” he murmured, one of his hands coming up to cover Jensen’s on his chest.
They remained that way for long minutes, resting together in the quiet of the darkening room. Jensen could feel Jared’s steady heartbeat beneath his palm, could hear the evening out of Jared’s breathing. He thought that the younger man was on the verge of sleep again when his disheartened voice broke the silence.
“I can’t believe this is happening to me. That the reason I became a paramedic in the first place is now what may end my career.”
Jensen rested his head against Jared’s, fingers bunching in Jared’s shirt, trying to hold him even closer. “Don’t give up. You’ll have your chance to talk to IA. Tell your side of the story.”
The sudden ringing of Jared’s cell phone on the bedside table startled them both. Jared reached over and picked it up, frowning at the display.
“Hello?” he said, then quickly sat up. “Cap?”
Jensen’s brow furrowed in confusion as he listened to Jared’s side of the conversation.
“She what…?” Jared’s eyebrows went up. “Are - are you serious?” Jared reached out and grasped Jensen’s hand, his eyes lighting up, listening to Jeff for another few moments. “Yes. Yes, sir. I understand. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he finished, ending the call. He let the phone drop to the bed, a stunned expression on his face.
“Jare? What’s going on?”
Jared turned wide eyes on Jensen. “It was Jeff…he said that Sarah showed up at FDNY headquarters this afternoon. She - she told IA that her husband was the aggressor and that I wasn’t at fault.” Jared’s face broke into a stunned smile. “My suspension has been rescinded. They’ve added on another two months probation, but I’m totally fine with that. God, Jen…I can’t believe that she actually went and talked to them.”
Jensen felt a giant weight lift off his shoulders with Jared’s words. This mess was finally over. He smiled, squeezing Jared’s hand. “I told you that you were amazing with her.”
“Jeff said that she wants to talk to me. She’ll be coming by the station tomorrow. God…I don’t even know how to thank her.”
Jensen pulled Jared back down on the bed with him, their arms wrapping around one another. “Something tells me she’ll be thanking you, too.”
~~~~~
Continue on to Part Three...
Author: agt_spooky
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 9,121 this part (30,156 total for three parts)
Genre: Firefighter AU, Angst, Established relationship
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: It’s RPS, people. It never happened, but I wish it would. :-)
Author’s Notes: Many thanks, as always, to my fabulous beta, charityflint, who really whipped this puppy into shape, to sn_24lover for her great input along the way and to wilde_moon for surprising me with the awesome banner.
Summary: Fireman!Jensen and Paramedic!Jared are back in this sequel to Light My Fire.
It’s five months later and Jensen is nearly a full-fledged paramedic. But becoming a medic means no longer being able to work with Jared at Station 127 and giving up his chance at a promotion to Lieutenant. As graduation looms, will Jensen change his mind? Then add in a young man Jensen rescues from a fire that becomes an obsessed stalker, and Jared’s altercation with a victim’s husband that threatens his career, and things turn explosive at the FDNY.
(banner created by wilde_moon and agt_spooky)
FROM PART 1:
The pain etched on Jared’s face had Jensen’s heart clenching in his chest, and when Jared reached out for him, Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared without a word, holding him close as Jared’s shoulders shook and silent tears fell from hazel eyes.
Playing with Fire
By AgtSpooky
PART 2
Normally Jensen would’ve been grateful for an uninterrupted 8-hour night with no calls, but he would’ve given anything for a simple trash fire last night to stop him from closing his eyes. Because every time he did, all he could see were three small bodies, floating in the water. He tossed and turned the entire night, watching across from him as Jared did the same. They were both bleary-eyed by the time shift change happened at 8:00 am, blinking into the sunlight as they stepped out of the station house, waving good-bye to the rest of their crew.
“Your place or mine?” Jensen asked, realizing that soon it would be just their place.
“My mailbox is probably overflowing,” Jared replied.
“Yours it is, then,” Jensen said, stepping to the curb and hailing a cab, which arrived just fifteen seconds later.
They were quiet on the 10-block ride, sitting close together, legs touching. They were almost at Jared’s apartment when the younger man bumped Jensen’s shoulder and indicated out the window with a tip of his head and a small grin. Jensen looked over and felt his face warm as they passed by Casey’s bar, where he and Jared had first met.
“We haven’t been there in awhile,” Jensen said. “Maybe we should go tonight. Get our mind off things.”
Jared nodded as the cab pulled up to his building and he opened the door. “Might be a good idea.”
Jared said hello to one of his neighbors as they entered the building, stopping to pull his mail out of his box before they climbed the stairs to his third floor apartment. It was bright and warm with the morning sun when they walked in, Jared heading to the kitchen with Jensen following.
“Want coffee?” Jensen asked.
Jared shook his head, slumping down wearily onto one of the kitchen chairs, spreading his mail out in front of him. He picked up one envelope before tossing it down, unopened, closing his eyes, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Jensen stepped up to him and Jared turned on the chair, legs on either side of Jensen.
Jensen ran his fingers through Jared’s hair. “Do I look as bad as you do?”
Jared chuckled, then leaned forward, resting his head on Jensen’s chest, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s waist. Jensen smiled tiredly, rubbing a hand soothingly up and down Jared’s back.
“C’mon,” he said softly after a few minutes, urging Jared up from the chair, leading him into the bedroom.
He kissed Jared tenderly, then helped him off with his clothes, down to his boxers. While Jared pulled back the covers on the bed and climbed in, Jensen stripped down to his own boxers then slid in with Jared.
Jared smiled and pulled Jensen close, sighing contentedly. “God, this feels nice,” he murmured, before pressing his lips gently against Jensen’s.
Their kisses were soft and languid, a lazy slide of tongues, while hands caressed bare skin, the purpose not to arouse, just the need to feel close to one another. Several long minutes later they let the kisses gradually end, resting their foreheads against one another. Jensen felt his eyelids drooping, sleep creeping up to claim him and he let it, wrapped in Jared’s arms where nightmares couldn’t reach him.
~~~~
It was nearly noon when Jensen woke to the soft sensation of Jared running his fingers along his bare arm. He blinked and stretched, opening his eyes to find Jared watching him, the pain he’d been carrying since yesterday nearly gone from his handsome features now.
“Hey,” Jensen smiled.
“Hey, yourself,” Jared replied, leaning in for a kiss.
“Feeling better?” Jensen asked.
Jared nodded, blowing out a breath. “Yeah. I hope we don’t have a repeat of yesterday anytime soon, though.”
The mention of yesterday had a thought popping into Jensen’s head. “Oh, man, I forgot to ask you, with everything going on yesterday - did Alix talk to you?’
Jared’s brow furrowed. “About what?”
“About her leaving 127.”
Jared’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“Wait, let me start at the beginning,” Jensen replied. “When Jeff called me in his office yesterday morning he said he didn’t want me to leave the engine company. He wants me to stay and take the Lieutenant’s exam. Says he can see me as Captain in less than five years.”
Jared’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? Well, what - what did you tell him?”
“Nothing, really. He just told me to think about it.”
Jared glanced down, rubbing his thumb absently on Jensen’s stomach. “And have you? It’s a great opportunity for you, Jen.”
“I didn’t really have time to think about it before Alix asked me to come up to the dorms and talk to her. That’s when she told me she’s leaving after my probation is over - so that the two of us can still work together. And that decided it for me.”
Jared’s jaw dropped. “I can’t - I can’t believe she’d do that for us.”
“She wants the two of us to have each other’s backs and I couldn’t disagree with her. After Ryan…” Jensen trailed off.
Jared kissed him. “I know,” he replied softly. “I don’t even know how to thank her for this. We have to do something amazing for her, Jen.”
Jensen nodded. “We will. Oh, and she’s just transferring over to 51, so she’ll be around.”
“Excellent,” Jared smiled. “Speaking of paramedics, someone has their last two finals coming up. Let me quiz you.”
Jensen smirked, rolling on top of Jared, rubbing against him. “Can we start with anatomy?”
~~~~~
Following the FDNY’s 24-hour-on/48-hour-off policy, two days later Jensen was mopping the apparatus room floor when Toby came looking for him.
“Hey, Jen, there’s a guy out front that wants to see you.”
Intrigued, Jensen propped the mop against the wall and went to the front door of the station, stepping out into the late afternoon sun. In front of him stood a young man about his age with blonde hair and blue eyes. His appearance was a bit unkempt - clothes a bit too big on his frame, holes in the knees of his jeans and ratty gym shoes.
“Um, hi,” the man began with a nervous smile. “Do you remember me?”
And suddenly it clicked into place for Jensen - this was the man he’d carried out of the fire last shift. “The apartment fire on Bedford.”
The man’s face lit up. “Yeah!” Then he stuck out his hand. “I’m Eric Donovan.”
Jensen smiled back, shaking Eric’s hand. “Nice to meet you under better circumstances, Eric.”
Eric chuckled. “Oh man, you’re telling me. I just - I had to come and see you.” He swallowed. “You saved my life. And I don’t know how to thank you.”
Jensen was warmed by Eric’s thanks, but he attempted to professionally shrug it off. “It’s all part of the job,” he answered with a smile.
But Eric shook his head. “No, it was more than that. You risked your own life by giving me your oxygen. I would’ve died if it wasn’t for you. I’ll never forget what you did for me.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Jensen said sincerely.
Eric extended his hand again. “Thanks to you I am,” he answered. And with a smile and a final handshake that lingered maybe a bit too long, he turned and walked back up the sidewalk.
Jensen watched Eric go, smiling to himself. That right there was what made this hard, dangerous job all worth it.
~~~~~
The next afternoon, Jensen pushed open the doors to the community college classroom for the last time. The atmosphere in the room was upbeat with the knowledge that everyone was just two tests away from graduation and becoming full fledged paramedics.
Jensen smiled and greeted his fellow classmates as he made his way down the aisle to his seat, squashing down his nervousness about these last two difficult exams. He knew this material. All he had to do was take his time, and in another few days his acceptance letter into the paramedics would be in his mailbox.
Jensen picked up his pencil. He was ready.
~~~~~
Next shift at the station, Jensen was in the kitchen putting away vegetables, gallons of milk, bags of chips and other various odds and ends from the grocery run when Jeff walked in.
“Hey, Cap,” Jensen greeted him, putting a gallon of rocky road ice cream in the freezer.
Jeff propped himself on the edge of the table. “So Alix tells me she’s transferring out to 51. Looks like I’m gonna lose you to the medics, huh?” he smiled.
Jensen closed the freezer door and turned to face Jeff. “Your confidence in me means the world, Cap, that you think I could go on to Lieutenant and even further, but I think being a medic is where my career path lies.”
Jeff stood and clasped his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “I still think Captain’s bars would look good on you, but I know you’ll be an incredible medic. You and Jared will make a good team.”
“Thanks, Cap,” Jensen smiled, as Tom stuck his head in the kitchen doorway.
“Hey, Jen, there’s a guy out front to see you.”
“Okay, thanks, Tom,” Jensen replied, Jeff patting his shoulder once more before moving out of Jensen’s way.
“Looks like someone’s got an admirer,” Kyle joked as Jensen passed him on the stairs.
And sure enough, there stood Eric Donovan out on the sidewalk in front of the station.
“Eric? Um, hi. Is there something I can do for you?” Jensen asked, confused to see the man again.
“Jensen!” A smile split Eric’s face and he bounced lightly on his feet. “Um, I know this doesn’t compare to you saving my life, but I’ve got two tickets to the Knicks game on the 12th.” He stepped a little closer to Jensen. “And I’d like to take you. To thank you and all.”
“Oh…” Jensen paused, it becoming suddenly clear that Eric meant for this to be a date, not just a friendly gesture. “I appreciate the offer, Eric, but I’m on duty that night. And really, you don’t need to do anything for me. You stopping by the station the other day was thanks enough.”
Eric’s face fell. “But I want - “ He stopped himself mid-sentence as the front door opened.
“There you are,” Jared smiled at Jensen, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. “Lunch is ready,” he told him, coming to stand next to Jensen, casually touching his hand to the small of Jensen’s back, as he often did. But the moment he did so, Jensen caught a flash of…something, in Eric’s eyes. Anger?
“Oh, umm, thanks,” Jensen replied distractedly, caught off guard by Eric’s reaction. “Jared, this is Eric Donovan.”
“Oh, yeah, from the apartment fire,” Jared nodded. “Jensen mentioned you stopped by the other day. I’m the paramedic that brought you to Mercy.”
Eric barely flicked a glance at Jared, his eyes on Jensen. “Yeah, thanks.”
“Listen, Eric, I’ve gotta run,” Jensen said. “Thanks again for stopping by. Take care of yourself, okay?” he ended, hoping that Eric took the hint.
Eric nodded slowly. “I’ll see you around, Jensen,” he replied, turning and crossing the street.
“What did he want?” Jared asked.
“To take me to a Knicks game, to thank me for pulling him out of the building.”
Jared chuckled, leaning in close to Jensen’s ear. “Should I be jealous?”
Jensen shoved Jared with his shoulder. “He was just…being grateful. And I think I made it clear I’m not interested.”
But an uneasy feeling still settled in the pit of his stomach as he watched Eric walk away.
~~~~~
The station was quiet and dark, the dorms echoing with the soft sounds of slumber from the crew of 127 when the station alarm sounded, shattering the stillness of the pre-dawn hours.
“Engine 127 - vehicle fire. 1500 block of Wythe Avenue, cross street Metropolitan. Time out - 3:11.”
Jensen, Kyle, Tom and Jeff scrubbed hands over their faces as they pushed off their blankets, jammed their feet into their boots and pulled up their turnout pants that stood ready and waiting next to their bunks.
Jared cracked open one eye. “Have fun,” he mumbled before turning over, earning a swat to the head from Jensen as he headed to the fire pole.
Kyle had the door to Bay Three opening as Jensen hit the apparatus room floor. He quickly jogged over to the equipment room to snag his jacket and helmet, then hopped on board the engine, taking his place in the jump seat.
The red and white lights lit up the nearly deserted streets as Kyle drove them to their destination, several blocks away. It was a street of restaurants and small shops, all closed for the night, with a car consumed in flames burning alongside the curb.
Kyle stopped the engine a safe distance away, then hurried to hook the intake hose to the nearby fire hydrant, while Jeff instructed Tom and Jensen.
“Ackles! Reel line! Welling, get an inch and a half!”
“Yes, Cap!” Tom and Jensen chorused, pulling down their respective hoses and advancing on the fiery vehicle.
“Keep your distance!” Jeff yelled. “It could go - “
The rest of his words were lost to the explosion that tore through the car, a fireball lighting up the night sky. Tom and Jensen instinctively dropped to their knees, turning their heads away as burning hot metallic debris rained down upon them. They were on their feet the moment the explosion subsided, turning on their hoses as one, powerful jets of water streaming out to extinguish the blaze.
As they advanced once more upon the car, motion to Jensen’s right had him taking his gaze away from the fire for a brief moment. There, standing at the entrance to the alley was a man, half in shadow, half illuminated by the street light. Jensen’s brow furrowed, sure he was seeing things.
Eric?
Needing his full attention on the blaze before him, Jensen had to look away until the car was reduced to nothing more than a smoking skeleton, but the moment it was safe to do so, Jensen looked back at the alley. The man was gone.
It had only been a split second, but the more Jensen thought about it, the more he was convinced that it had been Eric standing there, watching him.
And the feeling of unease in Jensen’s stomach doubled.
~~~~~
Back at the station about an hour later, the four men moved quietly about the dorms, trying not to wake the rest of their sleeping crew as they crawled back into their own bunks. Jensen was slipping out of his boots and pants when Jared’s low, sleepy voice reached him.
“Everything go okay?”
Jensen sighed and shook his head, moving to sit on the floor next to Jared’s bunk. “I think - I think I saw Eric there.”
Jared’s eyes widened and he came fully awake. “Are you serious?”
Jensen nodded. “It was only a split second, but I swear it was him, watching me. And I’m wondering if it was him who torched that car.”
“God, do you think so?”
Jensen nodded again. “Think about it. Flaming car at 3 a.m. on a deserted, non-residential street. What was he doing there if he didn’t set the fire and then call it in?”
Jared’s forehead creased. “Knowing you’d be responding because he knew you were on duty today.” Jared’s jaw clenched. “Something tells me he’s not going to go away as easily as you thought he would.”
Jensen’s mouth was a tight line. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
~~~~~
The white envelope with the FDNY crest was staring up at Jensen when he opened his mailbox the next afternoon.
This was it.
He reached out and took it gently between his fingers, staring at his name typed neatly on the label the entire way back up to his apartment. He walked into his bedroom, hearing Jared in the bathroom, and just stood there looking at the envelope, the contents of which would determine his path in the FDNY - acceptance into the medics or not. Blowing out a breath, Jensen turned the envelope over and ran his finger under the flap, then slowly removed the piece of FDNY letterhead, unfolding it…
Dear Mr. Ackles,
We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance into the paramedics program of the FDNY.
“Was there ever any doubt?”
Jensen started as Jared stepped up behind him, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s waist, kissing the side of Jensen’s neck.
“I knew you could do it, Jen,” Jared smiled against Jensen’s hair.
Jensen released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and sagged back against Jared, looking at their reflection in the mirror over the dresser.
“You’re gonna pin me, right?” Jensen asked, already visualizing the silver EMS pins on the collar of his new uniform at graduation.
“Damn straight I am,” Jared replied, then kissed Jensen’s temple. “Now, let’s go have lunch and celebrate.”
“Actually…” Jensen paused. “Can we make it dinner instead?” He ran his fingers across the letter. “There’s someplace I wanna go now,” he finished quietly.
Jared’s smile was soft with understanding, his voice a whisper against Jensen’s ear. “He’s proud of you, too.”
And Jensen could only nod, unable to answer around the sudden lump in his throat.
~~~~~
The dried leaves crunched underfoot as Jensen walked among the rows of granite stones. It had been a few months since he’d been here, but his feet knew the way, taking him halfway across the cemetery until stopping him in front of a black granite marker. He kneeled down in front of the headstone, brushing away several leaves, his fingers tracing over the words.
RYAN MATTHEWS
Forever in our hearts
“Hi, Ry,” Jensen said softly, placing the flowers he was carrying down in front of the headstone. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here in awhile.”
He took the acceptance letter out of his inner jacket pocket. “I did it, Ry,” he smiled. “And it’s all because of you,” he said, trying to speak around the emotion threatening to close up his throat. “It was you that encouraged me to get my EMT certification. Told me I’d make a damn fine medic.”
Jensen swallowed thickly, feeling tears start to prick behind his eyes. “I wish you could see me up there on that stage,” he whispered, brushing away a single tear that finally broke free. “Maybe you can. I hope you can.”
He took a long, shaky breath. “I miss you,” he breathed, fingers tracing the name of the man he’d loved for years. “I’m doing okay, but I still miss you…”
~~~~~
The crew was just finishing up breakfast at the start of the next shift when Jared stood up from the long table, his glass of orange juice in his hand.
“If I could have your attention for a second,” he said, and everyone quieted and looked at him curiously as he laid a hand on Jensen’s shoulder, who was seated next to him. “I have an important announcement to make.”
“Oh, God, Jenny’s pregnant!” Tom cracked and everyone burst into laughter. Jared gave Tom a playful, but withering look while Jensen leaned forward and banged his head on the table.
“Sorry, Tom, not yet,” Jared joked back. “But when he is, we’ll be sure to name our first-born after you.”
More laughter from the crew until Jared waved his glass of juice. “No, seriously, guys…I’m happy to announce that Jensen got his acceptance letter on Saturday. You’re looking at Station 127’s new paramedic,” Jared finished, beaming down at Jensen.
The table burst into applause, everyone standing up to come over to Jensen and congratulate him with handshakes and pats on the back.
“Graduation ceremony’s tomorrow night at seven,” Jensen told his crew. “And I expect to see all of your ugly mugs in the audience,” he smiled.
“I’ll bring the air horn for when your name’s announced, Jen!” Toby called out, laughing.
“Oh, hey, do you get to wear a cute cap and gown?” Kyle teased.
The joking continued and all Jensen could do was groan and roll his eyes, wondering if it was too late to un-invite them all.
~~~~~
About an hour before the end of the shift the next morning, Jensen was polishing the engine with Kyle as Alix and Jared did inventory in the bus when the station alarm sounded.
“Squad 127 - 911 hang up. 441 Nassau Avenue, apartment 1, cross street Banker. Time out - 7:02.”
“I’ll wait for you,” Jensen called over to Jared as the medic hopped out of the back of the bus and headed for the passenger side.
“Not too long! You gotta go pick up your new uniform for tonight!” Jared replied, then he and Alix were gone, with Jensen suddenly realizing that the next time the bus went out on a run, he’d be inside it, not watching it leave the bay.
~~~~~
It was just over an hour later and Jensen was up in the common room, talking with the guys on B shift when he heard the rumble of the bay door opening, signaling the arrival of Alix and Jared. He said his goodbye’s to the other crew, then started jogging down the stairs to the apparatus room. About halfway down he heard raised voices, angry voices - both Jared’s and Alix’s. Having never heard the two of them say one cross word to each other, Jensen was immediately concerned and picked up his pace. He’d no more than reached the bottom of the stairs and Jared was pushing past him, heading up, his face a storm cloud of emotion.
“Jared! Damn it, Jared!” Alix was yelling.
“Alix? What the hell is going on?” Jensen demanded, going over to the upset medic.
Alix shook her head, running her hand through her dark hair. “Jared - he punched our victim’s husband.”
Jensen’s jaw dropped. “He what?! Why?”
Alix took a breath. “The 911 hang up ended up being a domestic. The husband was smacking the wife around and she called us but he cut the call off. She answered the door, lip busted open, eye swollen, cut on her temple. Just as she lets us in the husband appears, saying he called dispatch back to cancel us. That his wife fell and they panicked, but she’s okay now and we can leave. Of course we’re not buying it for an instant. I take the wife into the living room and sit her down on the couch. Her little boy comes wandering out of the bedroom, tear tracks on his face.”
Alix shook her head. “Poor kid, having to see that crap go on between his parents. Anyway, I kneel down in front of her, with my back to Jared and the husband, who Jared has taken back over to the front door, where he’s talking to him, but I can’t really make out what he’s saying.
“The next thing I know, I hear a scuffle behind me. I turn just in time to see the husband hit the floor, blood gushing from his nose and Jared standing over him, his hand still in a fist.”
Jensen was flabbergasted. “What the hell?”
Alix threw her hands out to her sides. “I don’t know! Things went crazy after that - the husband screaming at us to get out, saying he’s going to file a complaint against Jared, with Jared swearing that the husband swung first and he was defending himself. The wife had to have seen everything, but she wouldn’t say a word. I patched her up, but the husband wouldn’t let me near him and we got out of there.”
“Did Jared say what happened between him and the husband?”
“He hasn’t spoken a word since we left the apartment. No explanation, nothing.” Alix reached out and put a hand on Jensen’s arm. “Jen, if this guy files a complaint, and with Jared still on probation…”
Jensen sighed heavily. “I know, Alix. Okay, let me go talk to him.”
Jensen took the stairs two at a time up to the common room, but Jared was nowhere to be found, so Jensen continued upstairs to the dorms, where he spied Jared at the far end, staring out the window.
“Hey,” Jensen called out as he strode across the room. “Jared.”
No response from the young medic and Jensen felt his temper rise, grasping Jared’s upper arm and turning him around.
“What the hell is going on with you?” Jensen demanded.
“Nothing,” Jared ground out, trying to turn back to the window but Jensen wouldn’t let him.
“Talk to me, Jared! Tell me why you hit that guy!”
But Jared remained stubbornly silent, his jaw muscle clenching.
Jensen shook his head in frustration. “Do you realize you’ve jeopardized your entire career because of this? You’re still on probation for another month! You know that means that the slightest thing can get you fired. And if this guy files a complaint against you -“
“Padalecki!”
Both Jensen and Jared’s heads jerked toward the stairwell as Jeff’s angry voice floated up it.
“Padalecki! In my office, NOW!”
After a moment’s hesitation Jared turned and headed for the stairs, his movements stiff, Jensen on his heels. Jeff was standing in the doorway of his office, anger coloring his features. Jared went inside without a word and Jeff slammed the door behind them.
“Did he say anything to you?”
Jensen looked to his right and saw Alix stand up from the couch. He shook his head, turning back to look through the window in Jeff’s office. “No, not a word,” he replied, watching as things grew heated between Jeff and Jared, wishing he could hear what they were saying. Finally Jeff pointed at the door and Jared stalked over to it, throwing it open, and without a glance at Jensen and Alix, marched down the stairs.
“Cap, what’s going on?” Alix quickly asked Jeff, who was now standing in the doorway.
Jeff ran a hand through his short hair, sighing. “Your victim’s husband didn’t waste any time filing a complaint. Jared’s been suspended pending an investigation. And with his out-of-state transfer probationary status, this could easily get him fired.” He pinned Jensen with his gaze. “There’s got to be a good explanation because this isn’t like Jared. I don’t want to lose that kid. Jensen, find out what the hell went on.”
Jensen looked at the stairs where Jared had disappeared. “I will, Cap. I will.”
~~~~~
Finding Jared to ask him, however, quickly turned into a problem. Jensen immediately took a cab to Jared’s apartment, confident that that’s where he’d be, but the apartment was empty. He started calling Jared next, but the younger man never picked up, Jensen leaving a dozen voice mails.
Having no clue where Jared could be, Jensen remained at the apartment until late afternoon, anger warring with concern over Jared’s whereabouts. Finally, Jensen had no choice but to leave, needing to get to FDNY headquarters to pick up his new uniform for graduation that night.
With a note left on Jared’s kitchen table, a plea for him to please call, Jensen turned off the light and locked the door, wondering where the hell Jared was, and praying he was all right.
~~~~~
Several hours later Jensen was pacing the hallway of the auditorium at the community college, scanning the incoming crowd for any sign of Jared. All around him were his fellow classmates and their family, friends and co-workers, all of the fire department personnel in their dress uniforms. His own crew was here, mingling in the hallway before the start of the ceremony, which began in fifteen minutes.
“Damn it, Jared, where are you?” Jensen muttered to himself, eyes glued to the front doors, his EMS pins digging into his palm as he squeezed his fist.
“You still haven’t heard from him?” Alix asked as she approached Jensen.
Jensen just clenched his jaw and shook his head tersely.
Alix laid her hand on Jensen’s arm. “He’ll be here, Jen. He knows how much this night means to you. I’ll make sure the seat next to me stays open.”
But five minutes later, when everyone began moving into the auditorium to take their seats and Jared still hadn’t arrived, Jensen walked up to Jeff.
“Cap? Um, I was wondering…” he held out the two silver EMS pins, “…if you would pin me tonight.”
Jeff smiled and laid a hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “I’d be honored to, son.” He took the pins from Jensen’s hand. “I know Jared was supposed to be doing this, and I’m sorry he’s not here.”
Jensen tried to hide his disappointment. “But you are, Cap, and I really appreciate you doing this for me. I’ll see you on stage,” he nodded, then went to stand in line with his classmates, still watching the front door until he had to file inside.
~~~~~
“…the service you provide allows the Department to say it is second to none when it comes to keeping citizens and our firefighters safe. You are about to embark on what might be the most exciting and challenging period of your professional lives. Congratulations.”
Jensen blinked as applause followed Fire Commissioner Nathan Scoppellini’s speech, realizing he had tuned out most of it, lost in his own thoughts, centered around the still missing Jared.
As the Commissioner left the podium, Chief of EMS Anthony Ruggeri stepped forward and began calling out the names of the 87 members of Jensen’s graduating class. One by one they stepped forward to receive their diploma and to have their EMS pins placed on their collar by a friend, family member or co-worker.
“Jensen Ackles.”
Jensen pasted on a smile as his name was announced, walking to the podium to shake hands with Chief Ruggeri and receive his diploma. Then Jeff was there in front of him, fastening the EMS pins to his collar, his crew members making a spectacle of themselves as they jumped to their feet, clapping and cheering.
“Congratulations, Jensen,” Jeff said with a smile and a warm handshake.
“Thank you, Cap,” Jensen replied, forcing another smile, thinking that this should be the best night of his life, but instead all he could think about was the empty seat next to Alix and the ache inside his chest.
~~~~~
Jensen walked slowly up the street to the front door of his apartment building, a decent amount of alcohol thrumming through his veins. He hadn’t been in the mood to party after the graduation ceremony, but his crew wouldn’t take no for an answer. So he found himself at a bar near the college, downing several beers in an attempt to have fun and celebrate his achievement. An attempt that fell flat as his thoughts turned again and again to Jared, once more anger warring with concern over the younger man.
He’d finally bid his friends goodnight just before midnight and started making his way back home in the cool October night, needing the fresh air after the overcrowed bar.
Just as Jensen reached the stairs leading up to the door of his building a figure stepped out of the darkness, startling him, making him take a stutter step backwards.
“Hi, Jensen,” the man said, moving out into the light.
Jensen felt himself immediately sober up when he saw who it was. “Eric? What are you doing here?”
The blonde man shrugged, stepping closer. “I wanted to see you again.”
Thinking quickly, Jensen decided to see if his suspicions were correct about the vehicle fire. “But didn’t you see me the other night? At the car fire?”
Eric nodded, smiling in a way that made Jensen’s skin crawl. “I did and you were great. But we didn’t get a chance to talk. So I’ve been waiting for you to get home. I know you said you couldn’t go to the basketball game, so I want to take you to dinner tomorrow instead.”
Jensen felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He needed to put a stop to this once and for all. “Eric, listen to me. You need to stop this. I’m not interested.”
Eric’s eyes narrowed. “Why?” he demanded. “Is it because of him? Jared?” he sneered. “I saw him go inside earlier.”
This time it was Jensen that stepped forward, angry. “My relationship with Jared is none of your damn business. Now I want you gone and I don’t ever want to see you again. Are we clear?” He stared hard at the blonde-haired man for several seconds before quickly walking up the stairs and going inside his building.
Once inside he paused and took a steadying breath. To say that he was disturbed by Eric would be an understatement. How this had gone sideways from a grateful victim into what was nearly a stalker situation that most likely now involved arson, was hard for Jensen to wrap his mind around. He could only hope that this time Eric had gotten the message and he would never see him again.
Shaking off the encounter with Eric, suddenly remembering that he had said that he’d seen Jared enter the building, Jensen hurried up the stairs to his apartment. He opened the door to darkness, the only light coming from the moon shining in through the living room window, illuminating a tall figure sitting in the chair.
Closing the door behind him, Jensen walked into the living room, shrugging out of his jacket, feeling anger rise within in him now that he knew Jared was all right, but had been ignoring him all day.
“Where the hell have you been?” Jensen demanded. “I called you all day. And tonight…you didn’t even show up to the ceremony. You know how much it meant to me for you to be there, to put those pins on my collar,” Jensen finished, not trying to hide the hurt in his voice.
Jared blinked slowly and Jensen could see how haggard he looked, how pained.
“I’m sorry,” Jared whispered roughly, reaching out and tugging Jensen closer, resting his forehead against Jensen’s chest, his arms around Jensen’s waist.
When it became apparent after a few moments that Jared was not going to say any more, Jensen took him by his shoulders and straightened him back up.
“That’s not going to cut it, Jared,” Jensen told him softly but firmly, needing to get to the bottom of this. “I think I deserve an explanation as to what’s going on with you.”
Jared nodded stiffly, then ran a hand over his face. “I never told you this,” he began, voice like sandpaper. “But my dad, Gerry, he’s actually my step-father. My real father was an alcoholic bastard who used to beat the crap out of my mother on a regular basis.”
Jensen was floored. “Jesus, Jared,” he breathed, lowering himself to sit on the edge of the coffee table, resting a hand on Jared’s knee.
“Sometimes when it got bad my older brother Jeff would call 911 and the paramedics would come out,” Jared continued. “Of course my mom would always have some lie to tell them about what happened. But there was this one paramedic, her name was Cheryl, that was usually the one that responded.” Jared paused, a small smile crossing his face. “She was great. Not only with my mom, but with me and Jeff and Megan. We were just kids, upset and crying and she’d help get us calmed down.
“She knew what was really going on between my mom and dad and kept encouraging my mom to leave him. Not just for herself, but for us kids, too. She’d give my mom the names of shelters for battered women, tell her that it would be hard, but she could do it. That she needed to do it.”
Jared smiled again. “And she did. It took awhile, but she left my father. And yeah, it was hard but she never gave in and went back to him. Several years later she met Gerry and I got the father I always wished that I’d had.”
Jared rested his hand on top of Jensen’s. “I really looked up to Cheryl. She not only helped people physically, but emotionally, too. She’s the reason I became a paramedic.”
It took a minute for Jensen to find his voice after Jared’s story. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that. No wonder seeing that today had to be tough on you.”
Jared nodded. “It was like my childhood all over again. Seeing that little boy there crying, just like I was, with Alix working on the mother.” Jared’s jaw clenched. “And that bastard standing there. I told him I’d better not get called back there again. That this was my district and I protected the people in it and I wouldn’t stand by and watch this continue. He told me it was none of my damn business. That she deserved it.”
Jared shook his head, furious. “I nearly lost it right then and there. I told him I was making it my business and in the next second he’s swinging at me.” Jared turned pleading eyes on Jensen. “I swear I never meant to hit him back. It was just instinct, defending myself. It happened so fast…suddenly he’s on the floor with a broken nose. And now it’s my word against his, and he’s got the injury, not me.” Jared buried his face in his hands. “God, Jen, I really fucked up. This is going to cost me my career.”
Jensen squeezed Jared’s shoulder. “Not if we can convince the wife to come forward. Alix said that she had to have seen the whole thing.”
Jared lifted his head. “Jen, she’s terrified of that guy.”
“And so was your mother of your father. But Cheryl got through to her. And I’ve seen how amazing you are with everyone you treat, how they respond to you. And I believe she will, too.”
Jared was quiet for a moment, then he nodded slowly. “Okay, I’ll try. I’ll see if I can get a hold of her in the morning.”
Jensen smiled softly, squeezing Jared’s hand. “C’mon, let’s go to bed. You’re exhausted.”
Jared blew out a long breath and leaned forward, closing his eyes, resting his head on Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen threaded his fingers through Jared’s hair and kissed the top of his head before urging Jared to his feet. They’d only taken a couple of steps when Jared tugged on Jensen’s wrist and pulled him into his arms, holding tight, his voice low and full of apology.
“I never meant to ruin your graduation, Jen. I thought it would be better if I wasn’t there, with the headspace I was in. I’m so sorry…”
Jensen pulled back a bit and kissed Jared gently. “It’s okay. I wish you’d been there, but I understand. I really do.”
“Love you so much, Jen,” Jared murmured with a soft, lingering kiss, then led them into the bedroom.
Jensen carefully hung up his new uniform in the closet then stripped down to bare skin as Jared did as well, joining the younger man under the blankets. Jared tangled himself around Jensen, his head resting on Jensen’s shoulder, fingers brushing over Jensen’s chest. Jensen could feel the younger man finally starting to relax, and he hated to bring this up, but he needed to know.
“I know this day’s been tough enough, but…Jare, when I got home tonight Eric was outside waiting for me.”
Jared’s head shot up from Jensen’s shoulder. “What? What the hell did he want?”
“To ask me out again.”
“Jen, this’s gotta stop.”
“I know and I told him that. That I wasn’t interested, end of story.” Jensen paused. “He knows that we’re together. He saw you come up here. And that got him…agitated. He also told me that he was at that car fire the other night.”
Jared’s hazel eyes were worried. “Jen…this guy’s not taking no for an answer and you’ve turned him down twice. Do you think he’s capable of physical violence toward you? Because this whole situation is beginning to scare me.”
“I don’t know. But I’m gonna call Mike tomorrow, see if he can give me any information on this guy.” Jensen linked his fingers with Jared’s. “’Cause he’s starting to scare me, too.”
~~~~~
The next morning, while Jared called Information for the phone number of Sarah Westman, the battered wife, Jensen got on the phone to Mike Rosenbaum.
“Mike? Hey, it’s Jensen.”
“Jensen! Hey man, what’s up?”
“Are you on duty?”
“Sure am, why?”
“Can you look someone up for me?”
“Yeah, I can do that. Are you having problems with somebody?”
“I might be, Mike. I need to know if this guy’s ever been arrested for anything violent.”
“Whoa. Okay, this sounds serious. Let me get a pen…alright, what’s this guy’s name?”
“Eric Donovan. Blonde hair, blue eyes, slight build, around 28 years old. Last known address was 660 Bedford, apartment 312.”
“Okay, got it. Give me an hour or so and I’ll get back to you. Then you’ll tell me what this is all about, right?”
“I will, Mike. Thanks for the help.”
“No problem, Jen.”
Jensen hung up and heard Jared still on the phone, sitting at the kitchen table.
“I won’t take much of your time, Sarah,” Jared said, voice gentle. “I just really need to speak to you about what happened.”
There was a pause, then Jared was nodding his head, blowing out a breath. “Thank you. Yes, I know where it is. I’ll be there in an hour. Goodbye.”
Jared looked up at Jensen. “She wants to meet us at the park down the street from her apartment in case her husband comes back early.”
Jensen squeezed Jared’s shoulder, his voice projecting confidence toward the younger man, no matter how worried he felt inside. “Everything’s going to work out, Jare. You’ll see.”
~~~~~
An hour later Jared and Jensen walked through the entrance of Hilltop Park, their feet stirring up dried leaves on the path. The autumn morning was warm, and several mothers and their small children dotted the area in and around the playground. Jared scanned the faces of the women before nodding at Jensen, tipping his head to the left.
Even if Jared hadn’t indicated which of the women was Sarah Westman, it would have become immediately apparent to Jensen as they approached the petite brunette. Her face still bore the evidence of yesterday’s beating, vivid bruising around her temple and right eye, as well as her swollen lip. She was tying the shoe of her young son when they walked up, and straightened when she saw them, brushing her long hair over her shoulder.
“Go on, Bobby,” she smiled at her son, who looked to be about seven years-old. “I see Stevie over there. Why don’t you go play with him for awhile?”
“Okay, Mommy,” Bobby replied, giving Sarah a gap-toothed grin before rushing off to find his friend.
“Sarah,” Jared nodded at her. “Thank you for seeing me.” He indicated toward Jensen with his hand. “This is my partner, Jensen, he’s also a paramedic at Station 127.”
“Hello,” she said timidly to Jensen, sitting down on the park bench behind her. Jared joined her on the bench while Jensen remained standing.
“I don’t know what you want from me,” Sarah said to Jared, her voice again small and quiet as she picked nervously at the hem of her sweater, avoiding eye contact with Jared.
But instead of asking Sarah what she had seen yesterday, like Jensen expected Jared to do, he put a finger under Sarah’s chin and she allowed him to turn her to face him.
“Can I ask how long this has been going on?” Jared asked gently.
Sarah pulled her hair back over her shoulder, trying to hide her injuries. “It’s only happened a few times.”
“You know that’s a few times too many, right?” Jared said, his voice still gentle, calming. “You know you don’t deserve this, Sarah, no matter what he’s told you.”
Sarah remained quiet, eyes flicking away from Jared and back again.
“It’s only going to get worse, if you stay with him,” Jared continued. “He’s going to escalate until you end up in the hospital. Or worse.”
Sarah shook her head. “He’s just under a lot of stress right now. You don’t know -“
“Actually, he does,” Jensen broke in quietly, and Sarah looked at Jared quizzically.
“I used to be your son, Sarah,” Jared explained. “Scared and crying as I watched my father physically abusing my mother on a regular basis. And his violence just kept escalating.” Jared reached over and took Sarah’s hand in his. “Thankfully my mother had someone help her see that this wasn’t right, and that she could be strong enough to leave him. And I want to be that person for you, Sarah.”
Jared reached in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper that he placed in Sarah’s hand. “These are the names, addresses and phone numbers of shelters and support groups for battered women around the city. It’ll be hard, but there are people who are there to help you and your son.”
Jensen saw Sarah’s hand shake as she clutched the paper, her eyes holding a hint of tears behind them.
“Sarah,” Jensen said softly. “Did you see what happened between Jared and your husband?”
Sarah’s gaze flicked briefly to Jensen, followed by a long pause before a slow nod.
“And did your husband swing at Jared first?” Jensen pressed gently.
Sarah caught her bottom lip between her teeth and she swallowed hard before answering, her voice barely audible.
“Yes.”
Jensen caught Jared’s gaze and he nodded at the younger man.
“Would you be willing to tell the fire department’s internal affairs bureau?” Jared asked.
Sarah stood up so fast that Jensen took a step backwards.
“I’m - I’m sorry,” she stammered, her voice trembling, and Jensen could see the fear in her eyes. “I don’t think I can help you.”
Jared stood up as well. “This isn’t just about helping me, it’s about helping you and Bobby. About giving you the courage to take the first step toward leaving him.”
Sarah swiped at her eyes. “I just - I don’t know,” she whispered, then turned and called for her son, hurrying away from Jensen and Jared.
Jared sighed deeply as they watched her go, his expression downcast. Jensen stepped up to him, resting his hands on Jared’s hips.
“Hey,” Jensen said softly. “You were amazing with her.”
But Jared shook his head. “I don’t think I got through to her, Jen.”
“You don’t know that. You just gave her a lot to think about. What you told her may be the push she needed. The confidence.”
Jared blew out a weary breath and rested his forehead against Jensen’s. “I hope so.”
Before Jensen could say anything else, his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the display.
“It’s Mike,” he told Jared before answering the call.
“Jensen. I’ve got that information you wanted on Eric Donovan. Can you meet me at the precinct? I’d like to talk to you about this in person.”
“Um, yeah, sure, Mike. We can be there in about 10 minutes.”
“Okay, sounds good. I’ll meet you out front.”
Jensen hung up and turned to Jared. “He wants to talk to me at the precinct.”
Jared’s eyes were worried. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“No,” Jensen agreed. “No, it doesn’t.”
~~~~~
Mike was sitting on the hood of his squad car when the cab dropped Jensen and Jared off in front of the 55th precinct.
“Hey, guys,” Mike greeted them with handshakes.
Jensen crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay, Mike, what’s the deal with this guy?”
Mike shook his head, opening the file sitting on the car next to him. “You’ve got yourself a winner here, Jen. Eric Donovan has been in and out of mental institutions since he was a teenager. He tried to kill himself twice. He’s been arrested twice, once for aggravated assault against his boyfriend at the time and once for suspicion of arson. The charges were dropped on that last one for lack of evidence. And here’s the winner - he applied to the fire academy but failed the psych review.”
Mike closed the file and looked hard at Jensen. “Now tell me how you’re mixed up with this guy.”
Jensen cast a worried glance at Jared, a queasy feeling building in his stomach, then ran a hand over his face. “I pulled him out of a fire a few days ago. He showed up at the station to thank me.” Jensen paused. “And to ask me out.”
Mike nodded. “I think I know where this is going.”
“When I came home the other night, after midnight, he was standing outside my building, waiting for me. I told him once and for all I wasn’t interested and didn’t want to see him again, especially after he started making comments about Jared.”
“Tell him about the car fire,” Jared jumped in.
“Car fire?” Mike cocked his head at Jensen.
“The engine responded to a car fire on Wythe at 3 am the other morning…and I saw Eric standing in the alley, watching me. The fire had to have been arson. And now that you told me that he’s been arrested for it…Mike, this guy’s making me nervous.”
Mike ran a hand over his bald head. “I can see why. Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. I’ll have one of the detectives get in touch with your arson squad about the car fire and give them Eric’s name. Hopefully we can find him and pick him up and get him out of your life.”
Jensen stuck out his hand. “Thanks, Mike, I really appreciate it.”
“No problem, Jen. You two take it easy,” Mike replied, then disappeared inside the precinct house.
“Maybe you really did get through to Eric last night and we won’t see him again,” Jared said, a reassuring hand on Jensen’s back.
“Yeah, maybe,” Jensen muttered, wishing he could believe it.
~~~~~
The rest of the day passed in agonizing slowness, with both men preoccupied with their own thoughts. Especially Jared, wandering restlessly throughout Jensen’s apartment - picking up a book and putting it down, turning on the television then turning it off five minutes later. His suspension began tomorrow and it was weighing heavily on them both. It was hard for Jensen to believe that he would be beginning his career as a paramedic in the morning and Jared’s might be ending.
The stress finally manifested itself in the form of a tension headache in the younger man, and Jared had retired to Jensen’s bedroom several hours ago in an attempt to sleep it off.
Soft noises from his room drew Jensen’s attention in the early evening hours, and he tossed aside the magazine he’d been unsuccessfully trying to read for the last 45 minutes. Between worrying about Eric and Jared he hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything all day.
Rising from the couch, Jensen padded softly down the hallway to his room where Jared was turning over on his side on the bed, blinking open his hazel eyes in the semi-dark.
“Hey, babe,” Jensen said quietly, sitting on the side of the bed. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, running his fingers through Jared’s hair.
Jared blew out a soft breath, leaning into Jensen’s touch. “A little better,” he replied, voice gravelly from sleep.
“C’mere,” Jensen said, scooting up onto the bed, his back against the headboard. He spread his legs, tugging on Jared’s shirt until the other man was settled between them, Jared’s back against Jensen’s chest, his head resting against Jensen’s shoulder.
Jensen placed one hand on Jared’s chest, the fingers of his other hand rising up to rub slow, soothing circles on Jared’s temple. “How’s that?” he whispered.
Jensen could feel Jared’s body relax further against his own, his eyes slipping closed. “Feels good,” he murmured, one of his hands coming up to cover Jensen’s on his chest.
They remained that way for long minutes, resting together in the quiet of the darkening room. Jensen could feel Jared’s steady heartbeat beneath his palm, could hear the evening out of Jared’s breathing. He thought that the younger man was on the verge of sleep again when his disheartened voice broke the silence.
“I can’t believe this is happening to me. That the reason I became a paramedic in the first place is now what may end my career.”
Jensen rested his head against Jared’s, fingers bunching in Jared’s shirt, trying to hold him even closer. “Don’t give up. You’ll have your chance to talk to IA. Tell your side of the story.”
The sudden ringing of Jared’s cell phone on the bedside table startled them both. Jared reached over and picked it up, frowning at the display.
“Hello?” he said, then quickly sat up. “Cap?”
Jensen’s brow furrowed in confusion as he listened to Jared’s side of the conversation.
“She what…?” Jared’s eyebrows went up. “Are - are you serious?” Jared reached out and grasped Jensen’s hand, his eyes lighting up, listening to Jeff for another few moments. “Yes. Yes, sir. I understand. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he finished, ending the call. He let the phone drop to the bed, a stunned expression on his face.
“Jare? What’s going on?”
Jared turned wide eyes on Jensen. “It was Jeff…he said that Sarah showed up at FDNY headquarters this afternoon. She - she told IA that her husband was the aggressor and that I wasn’t at fault.” Jared’s face broke into a stunned smile. “My suspension has been rescinded. They’ve added on another two months probation, but I’m totally fine with that. God, Jen…I can’t believe that she actually went and talked to them.”
Jensen felt a giant weight lift off his shoulders with Jared’s words. This mess was finally over. He smiled, squeezing Jared’s hand. “I told you that you were amazing with her.”
“Jeff said that she wants to talk to me. She’ll be coming by the station tomorrow. God…I don’t even know how to thank her.”
Jensen pulled Jared back down on the bed with him, their arms wrapping around one another. “Something tells me she’ll be thanking you, too.”
~~~~~
Continue on to Part Three...