Fic: If Only and Sometimes 1/1[G] Highlander/Merlin
Title: If Only and Sometimes
Author: A Lanart
Character(s)/pairings: Gaius, Merlin, Arthur and Methos (under a different name)
Fandom and/or Prompt: Highlander/Merlin
Rating: G
Spoilers/Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Merlin as used here belongs to the BBC, otherwise he belongs to himself.
Methos belongs to Panzer/Davis productions
Title from the song of the same name by Rosetta Stone
Word Count: 1,998
Rapid-fire Beta by idontlikegravy
Written for Day One at consci_fan_mo
~*~
If Only and Sometimes
Merlin sang under his breath as he clattered happily up the steps to the chambers he shared with Gaius. Everyone had seemed to be in a good mood, no-one had called him an idiot and even Arthur’s horse had behaved itself; it had been a *good* day. He burst through their door like a whirlwind and his words stilled on his lips before he could utter them. Gaius had company, and it wasn’t someone Merlin recognised which meant he now had to be doubly careful of letting any hint of magic slip; he felt his good mood evaporate.
“Ah, Merlin. Don’t just stand there, come inside; you’re letting in the draught.” Merlin closed the door carefully behind him and approached Gaius and the unknown man warily, half ready to bolt. “I’d like you to meet Matteus, an old friend of mine,” Gaius said warmly and Merlin let himself relax a little; no-one who Gaius introduced as a friend was likely to be a sniffing around for the scent of magic. The man turned to face Merlin as he moved toward them, and Merlin almost stumbled; this was not the sort of ‘old friend’ he’d had in mind at Gaius’ words. This man looked younger than the King and yet his eyes seemed far too old for his face. Merlin had the sense that there were a great many secrets concealed in the hazel depths and tore his own eyes away before his magic was tempted to try to find out exactly what those secrets were. Matteus held his hand out in greeting and Merlin had no option but to take it; there was something strangely compelling about the man, something almost familiar and Merlin couldn’t quite put his finger on it. As their hands met Merlin almost jumped away as if burned at the sense of something *other* in the man’s touch; not magic, no, but still something not within normal ken. For his part, Matteus seemed to be unaffected, smiling warmly at Merlin with a sparkle in his too-old eyes.
“Your uncle has been singing your praises, Merlin; it seems you are good for him.” Matteus turned and clapped Gaius on the shoulder; Gaius chuckled.
“He keeps me on my toes, I can tell you.” They started talking amongst themselves again, leaving Merlin almost gaping after them. To have Matteus be so free with something that as far as Merlin was aware only he, his mother and Gaius knew was tacit admission that there was a lot more to him than met the eye. Merlin stomped on his curiosity as much as possible; it only ever got him into trouble and yet… he shook his head irritably. He was not going to be asking leading questions of a friend of Gaius, he would be better cornering Gaius instead and then at least he would know if the asking was dangerous in advance. He turned his attention to the chores he usually tried to wriggle out of doing, he didn’t feel up to facing Arthur and the best way to avoid that was to keep busy. Plus, it kept him in earshot of Gaius and Matteus without seeming to pry.
By the time Matteus left, Merlin was glad to see the back of him. He’d never met anyone who could out-talk Gaius about herbs and medicine before and he would quite cheerfully never do so again. The conversation had become rather gruesome at times and Merlin was thankful it was over; his stomach was almost too unsettled to eat. Almost. Gaius bustled around putting together their simple meal of bread, cheese and ale and they sat at the table in companionable silence. Merlin loved this time of day, when work was done and he could just be himself without worrying who might be watching or listening.
“So, what did you think of Matteus?”
Merlin paused with his ale cup halfway to his mouth and glanced at his teacher.
“His eyes are too old,” he said in a rush before taking a large swallow of ale.
“Oh?” Gaius’ demand for an explanation was obvious, even with only one syllable, but his voice wasn’t harsh. Merlin took heart from that and decided to take a page from Arthur’s rule book and build his defence with an attack of sorts.
“How long have you known him, Gaius?”
“Since long before you were born. Why?”
“I’d say he carried his age very well, wouldn’t you?” Merlin cringed inside at the way he’d phrased the question and he half expected Gaius to deliver one of his infamous tongue-lashings. He didn’t expect Gaius to start laughing. A proper, deep belly laugh at that, and not just a polite chuckle. Gaius was laughing so hard that tears were streaking down his face and all Merlin could do was stare, and wonder just what he’d said to cause such mirth.
“Oh Merlin, you don’t know how… Carries his age well indeed. Dear me.” Gaius wiped his eyes, the grin on his face taking years from it.
“So?”
“So, it’s not my place to explain. I’m sorry. However I will tell you that there is nothing magical about Matteus, or not in the sense that you and I would understand at least.”
“But…”
“You will have to be content with that, Merlin. If you want to know more, you will have to ask Matteus himself.”
“I don’t think…”
“Exactly. You don’t think, or not as carefully as you should anyway. Now eat your supper.”
The next morning, Merlin was in the stable courtyard with Arthur when Gaius and Matteus appeared from the stable with a very fine grey horse. They were deep in conversation and didn’t appear to notice Merlin and Arthur in the shadows.
“Who is Gaius’ friend? He seems familiar.”
“I thought that last night, but Gaius wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information about Matteus.”
“Wasn’t he? Well we’ll see how they deal with the Prince of the kingdom instead of a servant, shall we? After all, that is a damn fine piece of horseflesh he’s got there, be a shame to let it go unappreciated, wouldn’t it?”
“Arthur!” Merlin hissed after his prince’s retreating form. Unsurprisingly, Arthur ignored him and Merlin retreated a little further into the shadows.
The exchange seemed short and to the point; there were the expected bows as Gaius recognised Prince Arthur, though Merlin noticed Gaius had to prod Matteus into making the obeisance, and a short, low voiced conversation ensued, followed by an affectionate slap to the horse’s neck. Arthur then turned away from both horse and men and made his way toward the main courtyard. A quick glance over his shoulder indicated that he wanted Merlin to follow and Merlin scurried after him, trying to stay out of sight of Gaius and his mysterious friend.
Merlin found Arthur waiting for him just inside the doorway.
“I think I know why Gaius’ friend seemed familiar to us both.”
“You do?”
Arthur nodded, and grabbed Merlin’s arm.
“Come with me,” he said, “And I’ll show you.” Merlin found himself half led, half dragged into the main hall. There were platters from the morning meal still laid out on the tables, but the room was deserted. Arthur let go of him by the table and picked up one of the silver dishes. He held out his hand.
“Your kerchief, Merlin.”
“My kerchief?”
“Now, Merlin.” Merlin unwrapped the material from his neck, feeling oddly underdressed without it. He wordlessly passed it to Arthur who did nothing stranger than polish the dish in his hand with it. Merlin watched as Arthur burnished the dish to a shine that he found acceptable for whatever use he was going to put it to, and was surprised when Arthur thrust the dish into his hands.
“Look,” commanded Arthur.
“I don’t understand…”
“Just look at your reflection, and then tell me you don’t understand.” Faced with such a demand, Merlin did as he was bid, it was the only thing he *could* do.
It was strange to see his face reflected in all its entirety. The tiny mirror in his room only revealed a fraction of the whole and he never really paid attention to himself as he appeared in the great mirror that hung in Arthur’s chambers. He tried to see himself as someone else might, and was left with an overwhelming impression of fair skin, high cheekbones, dark hair and smoky eyes; a combination that seemed way too familiar to be just from looking at his own face. Then it hit him; those too-old hazel eyes had overshadowed the overall impact of a face that bore so many similarities to his own. He dropped the dish on the floor and ran for the courtyard as fast as he could. *Now* he understood what Arthur meant, and it frightened him. Scared or not, he still had to *know*. The main courtyard and stable courtyard were empty of Gaius, Matteus and the horse so Merlin tore through the gates in his frantic race to reach them.
Luckily the streets of Camelot were no place for the swift passage of a stranger on a lone horse, even if they were accompanied by the court physician and Merlin knew all the twists and turns and shortcuts that would allow him to make up for lost time. His lungs were burning and his heart was pounding fit to burst from his chest but he daren’t cease his mad dash, not for one moment. If he did he might never get another chance to ask what might be the most important question of his life.
There! By the final gate! Gaius was pacing slowly beside Matteus and the horse, his hand on the reins. From somewhere deep within him, but without touching his magic at all, Merlin found new strength and threw himself down the path at a speed that would have been startling if he’d been in a position to notice.
“Wait! Gaius, Wait!” Merlin was amazed he still had the breath to call, but his gasped and desperate yell managed to reach the ears for which it was meant. He saw Gaius stop and turn, eyes widening when he recognised the scramble of limbs and dust that must be all that was visible of him. Merlin slithered to a stop, panting heavily, unable to catch enough breath to speak in full sentences.
“I thought I’d missed... That I’d never… Need to know…”
“Merlin, whatever is the matter? You could have hurt yourself.” Gaius sounded nothing but concerned, and Merlin was grateful for that.
“I didn’t. I’m fine. Just…” Merlin struggled to force some air into his lungs as he staggered towards Matteus, still seated on his horse. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, sir, but there’s something I have to ask you.” To his relief, Matteus slithered off the horse leaving Gaius holding the reins, and steered Merlin toward the wall at the side of the path.
“Just what is so urgent that you nearly killed yourself chasing me down?” Matteus asked. Merlin straightened and met the strange eyes, his chest still heaving with the effort to breathe.
“Are you… are you my father?” He fell over the words, and lowered his eyes, not wanting to see the likely derision in Matteus’ almost-familiar face. A gentle finger tipped up his chin and he found himself once more looking into those too-old eyes.
“Oh Merlin. I only wish I could be your father, but that’s impossible I’m afraid.”
“Impossible? Even with… with magic?”
“Even then. I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” Merlin stepped away, and let his head fall. He’d been so sure...
“Take care, young warlock, and listen to Gaius; he has your best interests at heart.” With that Matteus turned his back, remounted his horse, and left them standing in the middle of the path. Gaius wrapped an arm around him and Merlin leaned into the embrace of the only father he was ever likely to have.
Author: A Lanart
Character(s)/pairings: Gaius, Merlin, Arthur and Methos (under a different name)
Fandom and/or Prompt: Highlander/Merlin
Rating: G
Spoilers/Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Merlin as used here belongs to the BBC, otherwise he belongs to himself.
Methos belongs to Panzer/Davis productions
Title from the song of the same name by Rosetta Stone
Word Count: 1,998
Rapid-fire Beta by idontlikegravy
Written for Day One at consci_fan_mo
~*~
If Only and Sometimes
Merlin sang under his breath as he clattered happily up the steps to the chambers he shared with Gaius. Everyone had seemed to be in a good mood, no-one had called him an idiot and even Arthur’s horse had behaved itself; it had been a *good* day. He burst through their door like a whirlwind and his words stilled on his lips before he could utter them. Gaius had company, and it wasn’t someone Merlin recognised which meant he now had to be doubly careful of letting any hint of magic slip; he felt his good mood evaporate.
“Ah, Merlin. Don’t just stand there, come inside; you’re letting in the draught.” Merlin closed the door carefully behind him and approached Gaius and the unknown man warily, half ready to bolt. “I’d like you to meet Matteus, an old friend of mine,” Gaius said warmly and Merlin let himself relax a little; no-one who Gaius introduced as a friend was likely to be a sniffing around for the scent of magic. The man turned to face Merlin as he moved toward them, and Merlin almost stumbled; this was not the sort of ‘old friend’ he’d had in mind at Gaius’ words. This man looked younger than the King and yet his eyes seemed far too old for his face. Merlin had the sense that there were a great many secrets concealed in the hazel depths and tore his own eyes away before his magic was tempted to try to find out exactly what those secrets were. Matteus held his hand out in greeting and Merlin had no option but to take it; there was something strangely compelling about the man, something almost familiar and Merlin couldn’t quite put his finger on it. As their hands met Merlin almost jumped away as if burned at the sense of something *other* in the man’s touch; not magic, no, but still something not within normal ken. For his part, Matteus seemed to be unaffected, smiling warmly at Merlin with a sparkle in his too-old eyes.
“Your uncle has been singing your praises, Merlin; it seems you are good for him.” Matteus turned and clapped Gaius on the shoulder; Gaius chuckled.
“He keeps me on my toes, I can tell you.” They started talking amongst themselves again, leaving Merlin almost gaping after them. To have Matteus be so free with something that as far as Merlin was aware only he, his mother and Gaius knew was tacit admission that there was a lot more to him than met the eye. Merlin stomped on his curiosity as much as possible; it only ever got him into trouble and yet… he shook his head irritably. He was not going to be asking leading questions of a friend of Gaius, he would be better cornering Gaius instead and then at least he would know if the asking was dangerous in advance. He turned his attention to the chores he usually tried to wriggle out of doing, he didn’t feel up to facing Arthur and the best way to avoid that was to keep busy. Plus, it kept him in earshot of Gaius and Matteus without seeming to pry.
By the time Matteus left, Merlin was glad to see the back of him. He’d never met anyone who could out-talk Gaius about herbs and medicine before and he would quite cheerfully never do so again. The conversation had become rather gruesome at times and Merlin was thankful it was over; his stomach was almost too unsettled to eat. Almost. Gaius bustled around putting together their simple meal of bread, cheese and ale and they sat at the table in companionable silence. Merlin loved this time of day, when work was done and he could just be himself without worrying who might be watching or listening.
“So, what did you think of Matteus?”
Merlin paused with his ale cup halfway to his mouth and glanced at his teacher.
“His eyes are too old,” he said in a rush before taking a large swallow of ale.
“Oh?” Gaius’ demand for an explanation was obvious, even with only one syllable, but his voice wasn’t harsh. Merlin took heart from that and decided to take a page from Arthur’s rule book and build his defence with an attack of sorts.
“How long have you known him, Gaius?”
“Since long before you were born. Why?”
“I’d say he carried his age very well, wouldn’t you?” Merlin cringed inside at the way he’d phrased the question and he half expected Gaius to deliver one of his infamous tongue-lashings. He didn’t expect Gaius to start laughing. A proper, deep belly laugh at that, and not just a polite chuckle. Gaius was laughing so hard that tears were streaking down his face and all Merlin could do was stare, and wonder just what he’d said to cause such mirth.
“Oh Merlin, you don’t know how… Carries his age well indeed. Dear me.” Gaius wiped his eyes, the grin on his face taking years from it.
“So?”
“So, it’s not my place to explain. I’m sorry. However I will tell you that there is nothing magical about Matteus, or not in the sense that you and I would understand at least.”
“But…”
“You will have to be content with that, Merlin. If you want to know more, you will have to ask Matteus himself.”
“I don’t think…”
“Exactly. You don’t think, or not as carefully as you should anyway. Now eat your supper.”
The next morning, Merlin was in the stable courtyard with Arthur when Gaius and Matteus appeared from the stable with a very fine grey horse. They were deep in conversation and didn’t appear to notice Merlin and Arthur in the shadows.
“Who is Gaius’ friend? He seems familiar.”
“I thought that last night, but Gaius wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information about Matteus.”
“Wasn’t he? Well we’ll see how they deal with the Prince of the kingdom instead of a servant, shall we? After all, that is a damn fine piece of horseflesh he’s got there, be a shame to let it go unappreciated, wouldn’t it?”
“Arthur!” Merlin hissed after his prince’s retreating form. Unsurprisingly, Arthur ignored him and Merlin retreated a little further into the shadows.
The exchange seemed short and to the point; there were the expected bows as Gaius recognised Prince Arthur, though Merlin noticed Gaius had to prod Matteus into making the obeisance, and a short, low voiced conversation ensued, followed by an affectionate slap to the horse’s neck. Arthur then turned away from both horse and men and made his way toward the main courtyard. A quick glance over his shoulder indicated that he wanted Merlin to follow and Merlin scurried after him, trying to stay out of sight of Gaius and his mysterious friend.
Merlin found Arthur waiting for him just inside the doorway.
“I think I know why Gaius’ friend seemed familiar to us both.”
“You do?”
Arthur nodded, and grabbed Merlin’s arm.
“Come with me,” he said, “And I’ll show you.” Merlin found himself half led, half dragged into the main hall. There were platters from the morning meal still laid out on the tables, but the room was deserted. Arthur let go of him by the table and picked up one of the silver dishes. He held out his hand.
“Your kerchief, Merlin.”
“My kerchief?”
“Now, Merlin.” Merlin unwrapped the material from his neck, feeling oddly underdressed without it. He wordlessly passed it to Arthur who did nothing stranger than polish the dish in his hand with it. Merlin watched as Arthur burnished the dish to a shine that he found acceptable for whatever use he was going to put it to, and was surprised when Arthur thrust the dish into his hands.
“Look,” commanded Arthur.
“I don’t understand…”
“Just look at your reflection, and then tell me you don’t understand.” Faced with such a demand, Merlin did as he was bid, it was the only thing he *could* do.
It was strange to see his face reflected in all its entirety. The tiny mirror in his room only revealed a fraction of the whole and he never really paid attention to himself as he appeared in the great mirror that hung in Arthur’s chambers. He tried to see himself as someone else might, and was left with an overwhelming impression of fair skin, high cheekbones, dark hair and smoky eyes; a combination that seemed way too familiar to be just from looking at his own face. Then it hit him; those too-old hazel eyes had overshadowed the overall impact of a face that bore so many similarities to his own. He dropped the dish on the floor and ran for the courtyard as fast as he could. *Now* he understood what Arthur meant, and it frightened him. Scared or not, he still had to *know*. The main courtyard and stable courtyard were empty of Gaius, Matteus and the horse so Merlin tore through the gates in his frantic race to reach them.
Luckily the streets of Camelot were no place for the swift passage of a stranger on a lone horse, even if they were accompanied by the court physician and Merlin knew all the twists and turns and shortcuts that would allow him to make up for lost time. His lungs were burning and his heart was pounding fit to burst from his chest but he daren’t cease his mad dash, not for one moment. If he did he might never get another chance to ask what might be the most important question of his life.
There! By the final gate! Gaius was pacing slowly beside Matteus and the horse, his hand on the reins. From somewhere deep within him, but without touching his magic at all, Merlin found new strength and threw himself down the path at a speed that would have been startling if he’d been in a position to notice.
“Wait! Gaius, Wait!” Merlin was amazed he still had the breath to call, but his gasped and desperate yell managed to reach the ears for which it was meant. He saw Gaius stop and turn, eyes widening when he recognised the scramble of limbs and dust that must be all that was visible of him. Merlin slithered to a stop, panting heavily, unable to catch enough breath to speak in full sentences.
“I thought I’d missed... That I’d never… Need to know…”
“Merlin, whatever is the matter? You could have hurt yourself.” Gaius sounded nothing but concerned, and Merlin was grateful for that.
“I didn’t. I’m fine. Just…” Merlin struggled to force some air into his lungs as he staggered towards Matteus, still seated on his horse. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, sir, but there’s something I have to ask you.” To his relief, Matteus slithered off the horse leaving Gaius holding the reins, and steered Merlin toward the wall at the side of the path.
“Just what is so urgent that you nearly killed yourself chasing me down?” Matteus asked. Merlin straightened and met the strange eyes, his chest still heaving with the effort to breathe.
“Are you… are you my father?” He fell over the words, and lowered his eyes, not wanting to see the likely derision in Matteus’ almost-familiar face. A gentle finger tipped up his chin and he found himself once more looking into those too-old eyes.
“Oh Merlin. I only wish I could be your father, but that’s impossible I’m afraid.”
“Impossible? Even with… with magic?”
“Even then. I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” Merlin stepped away, and let his head fall. He’d been so sure...
“Take care, young warlock, and listen to Gaius; he has your best interests at heart.” With that Matteus turned his back, remounted his horse, and left them standing in the middle of the path. Gaius wrapped an arm around him and Merlin leaned into the embrace of the only father he was ever likely to have.