Thank You [One-Shot]
Title: Thank You
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst (a bit), Fluff, Romance
Pairing: Tennen Pair/Ohba
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own these two tennen XD
Summary: It took years for Aiba to finally able to say 'thank you' to Ohno
A/N: Ugh sorry for the lack of updates these days! I've been wanting to post the chapter of the series, but I reread them yesterday and I decided that it was trash and that I needed to rewrite the whole chapter, which, obvioously, will make the chapter be delayed for who knows how long XD So as my way to say sorry, here, have some tennen! It's, well, very simple though. Just something that came up when I'm watching Shukudai and saw Aiba crying whenever he remembered about his worries back then when he was hospitalized. This fic is a bit weird tho, imo XD Well anyway, enjoy! Comments will be loved!
March 2002.
“Masa, Leader came to see you.”
Aiba set the manga that he has been reading aside at the nightstand; he pushed himself up to the sitting position, putting the pillow behind him so he’d get more comfortable, and then he nodded at his mother. “Okay.”
“Do you want me to be here with you -“
“No.” He mumbled after thinking for a while. “It’s okay.”
His mother nodded, and then she went out again from his room. After waiting for a minute, the door to his room slide opened yet again, but this time, a boy came in with a toothy grin to show to Aiba. “Hey.” The boy greeted softly.
“Hey.” Aiba returned his greeting with the same toothy smile. The boy approached him and then he sit on the stool beside his bed; he offered a plastic bag to Aiba, and Aiba took it, quickly peeking inside and he let his smile gotten wider. “You bought me a new Shonen Jump!”
“I thought it’ll be boring to stay at home, so I bought you one.” The other boy answered nonchalantly. Aiba thanked him as he put it aside, along with his old manga; for a moment, none of them wanted to start the conversation, but eventually, Aiba did. “How’s everyone, Oh-chan?”
“We’re good.” Ohno replied. “We’re good, really. Rather than asking about us, I should’ve been asking you instead.” He said as he smacked Aiba’s hand playfully. He let his hand linger there though, and frankly, Aiba didn’t mind. “How are you, Aiba-chan?”
“I’m good.” Aiba replied, though what he said was downright lie. “I’m good.”
Ohno pulled his hand away, much to Aiba’s disappointment, and then he placed it again on his laps, balling it into fists as he said, “I’ve heard about it.”
“About what?” Aiba asked him, trying to act stupid, which wasn’t hard for him to do.
Ohno gave him a pointed look before saying, “That you were thinking whether it’s alright or not for you to come back to Arashi.”
“How did you know about that?”
“Someone from the agency tell me.” Ohno stared at him, as if looking for an answer, an answer that Aiba wasn’t sure could give. “Is that true?”
Aiba gulped; he didn’t want to discuss this problem, really, because he knew that he’d just ended up in tears. But he knew that Ohno, as their Leader, deserved some kind of explanation. So he took a deep breath and nodded. “It’s true.”
“Why?” Ohno asked, but he wasn’t pushing him or anything.
“Because you guys have worked so hard.” He whispered then. “You guys have worked so hard for my part for weeks, and, for me, it didn’t feel right to just go back to you all like nothing had happened. It doesn’t feel right to join you guys and enjoy what you’ve worked so hard for.”
“You’re sick.” Ohno stated, but he was looking down at his hands, pulling on a stranded string on his jeans. “But you’re sick.”
“I know.” Aiba mumbled, his hand unconsciously reached up to touch his chest, where the scar from his surgery hasn’t fully healed yet. “I know, but it still doesn’t feel right, Leader. I can’t just go back to you guys, pretending like I know nothing while I knew that you guys have worked so hard for me. I feel guilty for not being there, for not doing all the work with you guys.”
“But you’re sick.” Ohno insisted. “And we can’t have you do all those works - what if you collapsed again? Your health is more important here.”
“See, that’s a problem too. I don’t even know if I’ll be fully healed - what if I relapsed? I’ll just cause trouble again for you guys, and I didn’t want that.” At this point, rather than being sad, he was getting agitated. Not towards Ohno, of course. But towards himself. Towards the illness on his lungs. Towards his helplessness. “I don’t know if I should comeback or not.”
“Don’t you want to?” Ohno asked then; this time he was staring at Aiba. “Don’t you want to comeback with us?”
“Don’t ask me that when you’re the one who always wanted to quit!” Aiba finally yelled then; he threw the pillow at Ohno, half expecting him to dodge it, but Ohno let the pillow hit his face, letting it fall into the floor without so much of resistance. “You’re the one who always wanted to quit…” Aiba continued in a whisper, because one yelling like that took too much of his energy, and he already felt the tiredness trying to overtook himself. “You, Nino, and Sho-chan… the three of you has always…”
“That’s right.” Ohno replied; he bent down to take the pillow, and then he held it tight on his embrace. “That’s right - me, Nino, and Sho-chan has always wanted to quit.”
Aiba knew - he knew about that fact, and yet, he felt his heart clenched painfully when Ohno admitted that. “Then wouldn’t it be nice? We should just end it already, this Arashi -“
“But I don’t want it to end.” Ohno said sadly. “I don’t want it to end, Aiba-chan, because both you and Jun hasn’t given up just yet.” He let out a small smile. “No, actually, all of us haven’t given up just yet.”
“What do you mean?”
Ohno’s smile stayed on his chubby face as he put the pillow on Aiba’s bed again; this time, he took one of Aiba’s hands, squeezing it slightly, as if Aiba was very fragile and he could disappear anytime. “Being in Arashi is tough.” He started after a while. “It’s tough and tiring, and there were times when I wanted to quit.”
“That’s why I’m saying -“
“But you and Jun stayed strong.” Ohno cut him, not letting Aiba finishing his words. “Both you and Jun was working so hard for this, and maybe you didn’t know it, but that made me, Nino, and Sho-chan wanted to work so hard for it either. We wanted to try and make Arashi happened.”
“And if I was to be honest, sure, at the moment I’m barely staying just because I can’t leave you guys alone - my intention wasn’t as pure as you, Aiba-chan, but I wanted to try.” He squeezed Aiba’s hand, and Aiba could feel tears already wetting his eyes, ready to fall anytime. “I wanted to stay, even if it’s just for a bit longer.” He looked up then. “And for Arashi to happen we need someone who believed in it the most - we need you, Aiba-chan.”
And Aiba could feel the tears running down his cheeks; he bit down on his lips as one of his free hand try to rub it away from his face. “Is it okay?” he sobbed. “Is it okay for me to stay?”
“Stay.” Ohno told him gently. “Stay, because Arashi needs you.”
At that moment, it felt like the heavy feeling on his chest has been lifted - almost as if he has been freed. Aiba nodded vigorously, turning into a mess of tears as he said over and over that he’d stay, that he’d comeback, and that he’d try harder for Arashi. Ohno laughed at him, but he never let go of Aiba’s hand - never.
And at that time, he didn’t know why, but even though he had wanted to say thank you, he didn’t.
***
September 2014.
The air felt so hot and damp and it clung heavily on Aiba’s skin, but he found comfort in that, somehow. He had just gotten back from taking a stroll in the peaceful streets of Hawaii with Sho after dinner, both trying to clear their heads from the alcohol that they had gulped down. He had wanted to go back to his room and shower, but he decided against it as he saw Jun walked out from Ohno’s room with red eyes. Jun saw them, just like how Aiba and Sho saw them, but he just turned around and went to his room instead, slamming the door behind him as he did.
Both Aiba and Sho knew what had happened even without saying - it must be because of Ohno’s confession this afternoon, the seemingly harmless confession that he did in front of camera that had surprised most of them.
‘From around 2006… I honestly thought about quitting.’
Sure, it has surprised them, that for a moment no one knew what to say. For a moment, they stayed silent as Ohno kept on speaking; Sho, being a natural speaker he was, has managed to ask and reply to Ohno’s words. And so did Nino. And he himself too had said something like, “I’m glad you didn’t quit, and that you’re here for us now”, though at that time, it was more like he was obliged to say it, because there were cameras, and they were at lost on what to say to sudden confessions, and because he noticed the glint of anger on Jun’s eyes.
Probably Jun had asked him about that, though judging by what happened just now, it might not go well.
“Aiba-chan.” Sho called him; without him realizing it, he had walked towards Ohno’s room, and he turned around to see Sho standing a bit far from him, next to his own room. “Are you going to talk with him too?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Though, it wasn’t necessarily about what happened this afternoon.”
“I see.” Sho nodded back at him. “Well, good night then.”
“Good night.” He watched Sho retreated back to his room, and when he was the only one left in the hallway, Aiba moved towards Ohno’s room again, knocking slightly on his door. He didn’t wait for any reply; the door is unlocked, and so he slipped inside. The room was mostly dark; the light was only lowly lit, but Aiba could still move around freely thanks to the light that was coming from the veranda. He could see Ohno there, sitting on the veranda with a glass of beer on his hands, and he was about to call him ‘Leader.’
But something stopped him. It felt so out of place to call him leader right now. Ohno had his hair down, and he was only wearing a t-shirt and a short -
He was not Arashi’s leader at the moment.
“Oh-chan.” He called him then. Ohno didn’t looked up, but Aiba knew that he acknowledged him. Aiba sat on the empty chair beside Ohno, and that was when Ohno finally spoke up. “Beer?”
“Nah.” Aiba refused gently. He stared at the amount of cigarettes in the ash tray, and one of them was still lit. “Cigarettes?” Ohno offered again.
“Nope.” Aiba refused yet again. Ohno shrugged; he placed the beer on the table, and then he leaned back to his chair. “So after Jun, it’s you eh? Probably after this either Nino or Sho would come up to me and asked me about the same thing.”
“Was Jun asking you about what happened this afternoon?”
“Mmhm.” Ohno mumbled. “He was angry - not because I wanted to quit, but because I’ve kept silent about it for so long. He asked me why I didn’t talk it out, why I dealt with that kind of feelings alone.” A chuckle escaped Ohno’s plump lips. “Jun is really kind.”
“He is.” Aiba agreed. He leaned back against his chair too, mimicking Ohno’s gestures, and then he asked, “Then, what did you say to him?”
“I said it didn’t matter anymore. It has passed; I’m alright now, so he shouldn’t be bothered with it anymore. It seems he wasn’t satisfied enough though, so he left.”
“Give him some time.” Aiba said gently. “He will be okay tomorrow morning.”
“I hope so.” Ohno mumbled as he closed his eyes. “Because seeing him angry like that makes me feeling guilty - I’m feeling guilty now for admitting it to you guys.”
“You shouldn’t.” He muttered as he pulled his legs close to his chest. “You shouldn’t be guilty - if anything, I’m glad that you shared your thoughts with us, because you rarely do.”
“Maybe it’s my way to protect myself.” The older man replied. “Because when I shared my thoughts, sometimes I have to deal with feelings that I don’t like - like now, I clearly hurt Jun’s feelings, didn’t I.”
Aiba said nothing to that, because they both knew that it was true. Rather, he just stared at Ohno’s tired expression, and he started wondering how it felt like having to deal with those kind of feeling for so long - how did he survived that, really? “But you stayed.” He whispered.
“I am.” Ohno replied with a whisper too, as if they were sharing a secret. “I am.”
“What make you stay?”
Ohno didn’t immediately reply to that - his nose was scrunched up as he was thinking, and Aiba waited patiently for him; there was no need to rush after all, coming to Hawaii like this has somehow made Aiba forgot that time exists, because right now, it almost feel like it didn’t. “Because of you guys.” Ohno opened his eyes, and he smiled. “It’s because of you guys.”
“Us?” Aiba repeated, in which Ohno replied by a nod. “Why?”
“Because we managed to firmly create ‘Arashi’.” Ohno said slowly, as if he was feeling every word that has left his mouth. “We did well, didn’t we? We’ve created Arashi, making it into a place that we could proudly call as our home, with the help from so many others - from our fans too. And when we celebrated our 10th anniversary, I realized that, I’d be stupid if I ever give this up. I didn’t want to give it up. I wanted to stay - so bad.”
Aiba smiled at his words; suddenly he remembered something from his past. He remembered him having this kind of talk with Ohno, and how, over these past years, everything had changed. Softly, he took Ohno’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. “Do you remember when I was sick?”
Ohno looked over at him curiously. “Yeah.”
“Do you remember visiting me at home?”
Ohno’s eyebrows were knitted, but after a while, he finally nodded. “Yeah.”
“Do you remember how you told me to stay? How you persuaded me that Arashi need me?” Aiba watched the realization dawned on Ohno. “I’m really glad that you did that. I’m really glad that I came back, that I was a part of Arashi again.” He latched his fingers together with Ohno, and Ohno stared at their latched fingers, but he said nothing. “We often did it in the concert, didn’t we? The 5 of us.”
“We did.” Ohno said with a nod. “It was heavy.”
“It was.” Aiba squeezed tighter. “Whenever we did this, the 5 of us, it always felt ridiculously heavy. But that heaviness was what made me happy the most. It was heavy, but warm. It was like an anchor - a reassurement, a promise that no matter what, I got 4 other guys that I could rely on. That I am an irreplaceable part of them. That no matter what, this -“He lifted their linked hands. “- would never be broken.”
“I’m glad that I still am a part of Arashi until today.” Aiba whispered. “And it’s all thanks to you. So thank you. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for us. Thank you for staying with us.” He smiled widely, even though his eyes were already blurry from tears. “Thank you, Satoshi.”
And Ohno cried. The tears fell from his sparkling brown eyes one by one, wetting his chubby cheeks; but even then, Ohno was smiling widely. He squeezed Aiba’s hand tighter, as much as possible as he nodded. “Thank you.” He whispered almost inaudibly; his lips trembling from trying to hold back the tears. “Thank you so much.”
And maybe it was the heat of the moment, or maybe it was his repressed feelings - something that he actually craved for but never felt the urge to act for it. But now, everything was different. Ohno’s eyes, though it was wet with tears, were sparkling from the light from the streets. They were close, so close that Aiba could smell the scent of beer and cigarettes and something that was just Ohno. And before he could think, he leaned forward and he pressed his lips softly on Ohno’s plump lips.
Ohno didn’t try to fight back or pushed him away; instead he opened his mouth for him shyly, his free hand reached out to clutch on Aiba’s arm, and then he let Aiba did whatever he wanted. They kissed, lips moving against each other, hands caressing each other skin, warm breaths escaping from each other mouth - it was warm, and they were sweating, and even though maybe it’d be better for them to stop, they didn’t. They did moved inside though, closing the window to the veranda and making the room completely dark but from a slight light that managed to breakthrough, and even then Aiba didn’t let go of Ohno.
Because it felt right - Aiba had always, always wanted to convey his feeling to Ohno. He was grateful for Ohno’s existence, because if it wasn’t for him, then Aiba wouldn’t even be here today. He wasn’t good with words after all, so all that he could do to express how he truly feels - his gratefulness, his happiness, his adoration, and maybe, his love towards Ohno - was just by having him close like this. Kissing him, caressing him, adoring him, cherishing him, and making love to him.
And maybe, tomorrow, they’d have to act like nothing had happened; maybe, tomorrow, he’d be back to the cheerful, goofy Aiba, while Ohno’d stay as his usual sleepy self.
But tonight, he was closer to Ohno than anyone else. Tonight, he was finally able to say ‘thank you’ to him. Tonight, he had Ohno under him, kissing him back and saying “Thank you” again and again that it almost felt like a song for Aiba.
And that was more than enough.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst (a bit), Fluff, Romance
Pairing: Tennen Pair/Ohba
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own these two tennen XD
Summary: It took years for Aiba to finally able to say 'thank you' to Ohno
A/N: Ugh sorry for the lack of updates these days! I've been wanting to post the chapter of the series, but I reread them yesterday and I decided that it was trash and that I needed to rewrite the whole chapter, which, obvioously, will make the chapter be delayed for who knows how long XD So as my way to say sorry, here, have some tennen! It's, well, very simple though. Just something that came up when I'm watching Shukudai and saw Aiba crying whenever he remembered about his worries back then when he was hospitalized. This fic is a bit weird tho, imo XD Well anyway, enjoy! Comments will be loved!
March 2002.
“Masa, Leader came to see you.”
Aiba set the manga that he has been reading aside at the nightstand; he pushed himself up to the sitting position, putting the pillow behind him so he’d get more comfortable, and then he nodded at his mother. “Okay.”
“Do you want me to be here with you -“
“No.” He mumbled after thinking for a while. “It’s okay.”
His mother nodded, and then she went out again from his room. After waiting for a minute, the door to his room slide opened yet again, but this time, a boy came in with a toothy grin to show to Aiba. “Hey.” The boy greeted softly.
“Hey.” Aiba returned his greeting with the same toothy smile. The boy approached him and then he sit on the stool beside his bed; he offered a plastic bag to Aiba, and Aiba took it, quickly peeking inside and he let his smile gotten wider. “You bought me a new Shonen Jump!”
“I thought it’ll be boring to stay at home, so I bought you one.” The other boy answered nonchalantly. Aiba thanked him as he put it aside, along with his old manga; for a moment, none of them wanted to start the conversation, but eventually, Aiba did. “How’s everyone, Oh-chan?”
“We’re good.” Ohno replied. “We’re good, really. Rather than asking about us, I should’ve been asking you instead.” He said as he smacked Aiba’s hand playfully. He let his hand linger there though, and frankly, Aiba didn’t mind. “How are you, Aiba-chan?”
“I’m good.” Aiba replied, though what he said was downright lie. “I’m good.”
Ohno pulled his hand away, much to Aiba’s disappointment, and then he placed it again on his laps, balling it into fists as he said, “I’ve heard about it.”
“About what?” Aiba asked him, trying to act stupid, which wasn’t hard for him to do.
Ohno gave him a pointed look before saying, “That you were thinking whether it’s alright or not for you to come back to Arashi.”
“How did you know about that?”
“Someone from the agency tell me.” Ohno stared at him, as if looking for an answer, an answer that Aiba wasn’t sure could give. “Is that true?”
Aiba gulped; he didn’t want to discuss this problem, really, because he knew that he’d just ended up in tears. But he knew that Ohno, as their Leader, deserved some kind of explanation. So he took a deep breath and nodded. “It’s true.”
“Why?” Ohno asked, but he wasn’t pushing him or anything.
“Because you guys have worked so hard.” He whispered then. “You guys have worked so hard for my part for weeks, and, for me, it didn’t feel right to just go back to you all like nothing had happened. It doesn’t feel right to join you guys and enjoy what you’ve worked so hard for.”
“You’re sick.” Ohno stated, but he was looking down at his hands, pulling on a stranded string on his jeans. “But you’re sick.”
“I know.” Aiba mumbled, his hand unconsciously reached up to touch his chest, where the scar from his surgery hasn’t fully healed yet. “I know, but it still doesn’t feel right, Leader. I can’t just go back to you guys, pretending like I know nothing while I knew that you guys have worked so hard for me. I feel guilty for not being there, for not doing all the work with you guys.”
“But you’re sick.” Ohno insisted. “And we can’t have you do all those works - what if you collapsed again? Your health is more important here.”
“See, that’s a problem too. I don’t even know if I’ll be fully healed - what if I relapsed? I’ll just cause trouble again for you guys, and I didn’t want that.” At this point, rather than being sad, he was getting agitated. Not towards Ohno, of course. But towards himself. Towards the illness on his lungs. Towards his helplessness. “I don’t know if I should comeback or not.”
“Don’t you want to?” Ohno asked then; this time he was staring at Aiba. “Don’t you want to comeback with us?”
“Don’t ask me that when you’re the one who always wanted to quit!” Aiba finally yelled then; he threw the pillow at Ohno, half expecting him to dodge it, but Ohno let the pillow hit his face, letting it fall into the floor without so much of resistance. “You’re the one who always wanted to quit…” Aiba continued in a whisper, because one yelling like that took too much of his energy, and he already felt the tiredness trying to overtook himself. “You, Nino, and Sho-chan… the three of you has always…”
“That’s right.” Ohno replied; he bent down to take the pillow, and then he held it tight on his embrace. “That’s right - me, Nino, and Sho-chan has always wanted to quit.”
Aiba knew - he knew about that fact, and yet, he felt his heart clenched painfully when Ohno admitted that. “Then wouldn’t it be nice? We should just end it already, this Arashi -“
“But I don’t want it to end.” Ohno said sadly. “I don’t want it to end, Aiba-chan, because both you and Jun hasn’t given up just yet.” He let out a small smile. “No, actually, all of us haven’t given up just yet.”
“What do you mean?”
Ohno’s smile stayed on his chubby face as he put the pillow on Aiba’s bed again; this time, he took one of Aiba’s hands, squeezing it slightly, as if Aiba was very fragile and he could disappear anytime. “Being in Arashi is tough.” He started after a while. “It’s tough and tiring, and there were times when I wanted to quit.”
“That’s why I’m saying -“
“But you and Jun stayed strong.” Ohno cut him, not letting Aiba finishing his words. “Both you and Jun was working so hard for this, and maybe you didn’t know it, but that made me, Nino, and Sho-chan wanted to work so hard for it either. We wanted to try and make Arashi happened.”
“And if I was to be honest, sure, at the moment I’m barely staying just because I can’t leave you guys alone - my intention wasn’t as pure as you, Aiba-chan, but I wanted to try.” He squeezed Aiba’s hand, and Aiba could feel tears already wetting his eyes, ready to fall anytime. “I wanted to stay, even if it’s just for a bit longer.” He looked up then. “And for Arashi to happen we need someone who believed in it the most - we need you, Aiba-chan.”
And Aiba could feel the tears running down his cheeks; he bit down on his lips as one of his free hand try to rub it away from his face. “Is it okay?” he sobbed. “Is it okay for me to stay?”
“Stay.” Ohno told him gently. “Stay, because Arashi needs you.”
At that moment, it felt like the heavy feeling on his chest has been lifted - almost as if he has been freed. Aiba nodded vigorously, turning into a mess of tears as he said over and over that he’d stay, that he’d comeback, and that he’d try harder for Arashi. Ohno laughed at him, but he never let go of Aiba’s hand - never.
And at that time, he didn’t know why, but even though he had wanted to say thank you, he didn’t.
***
September 2014.
The air felt so hot and damp and it clung heavily on Aiba’s skin, but he found comfort in that, somehow. He had just gotten back from taking a stroll in the peaceful streets of Hawaii with Sho after dinner, both trying to clear their heads from the alcohol that they had gulped down. He had wanted to go back to his room and shower, but he decided against it as he saw Jun walked out from Ohno’s room with red eyes. Jun saw them, just like how Aiba and Sho saw them, but he just turned around and went to his room instead, slamming the door behind him as he did.
Both Aiba and Sho knew what had happened even without saying - it must be because of Ohno’s confession this afternoon, the seemingly harmless confession that he did in front of camera that had surprised most of them.
‘From around 2006… I honestly thought about quitting.’
Sure, it has surprised them, that for a moment no one knew what to say. For a moment, they stayed silent as Ohno kept on speaking; Sho, being a natural speaker he was, has managed to ask and reply to Ohno’s words. And so did Nino. And he himself too had said something like, “I’m glad you didn’t quit, and that you’re here for us now”, though at that time, it was more like he was obliged to say it, because there were cameras, and they were at lost on what to say to sudden confessions, and because he noticed the glint of anger on Jun’s eyes.
Probably Jun had asked him about that, though judging by what happened just now, it might not go well.
“Aiba-chan.” Sho called him; without him realizing it, he had walked towards Ohno’s room, and he turned around to see Sho standing a bit far from him, next to his own room. “Are you going to talk with him too?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Though, it wasn’t necessarily about what happened this afternoon.”
“I see.” Sho nodded back at him. “Well, good night then.”
“Good night.” He watched Sho retreated back to his room, and when he was the only one left in the hallway, Aiba moved towards Ohno’s room again, knocking slightly on his door. He didn’t wait for any reply; the door is unlocked, and so he slipped inside. The room was mostly dark; the light was only lowly lit, but Aiba could still move around freely thanks to the light that was coming from the veranda. He could see Ohno there, sitting on the veranda with a glass of beer on his hands, and he was about to call him ‘Leader.’
But something stopped him. It felt so out of place to call him leader right now. Ohno had his hair down, and he was only wearing a t-shirt and a short -
He was not Arashi’s leader at the moment.
“Oh-chan.” He called him then. Ohno didn’t looked up, but Aiba knew that he acknowledged him. Aiba sat on the empty chair beside Ohno, and that was when Ohno finally spoke up. “Beer?”
“Nah.” Aiba refused gently. He stared at the amount of cigarettes in the ash tray, and one of them was still lit. “Cigarettes?” Ohno offered again.
“Nope.” Aiba refused yet again. Ohno shrugged; he placed the beer on the table, and then he leaned back to his chair. “So after Jun, it’s you eh? Probably after this either Nino or Sho would come up to me and asked me about the same thing.”
“Was Jun asking you about what happened this afternoon?”
“Mmhm.” Ohno mumbled. “He was angry - not because I wanted to quit, but because I’ve kept silent about it for so long. He asked me why I didn’t talk it out, why I dealt with that kind of feelings alone.” A chuckle escaped Ohno’s plump lips. “Jun is really kind.”
“He is.” Aiba agreed. He leaned back against his chair too, mimicking Ohno’s gestures, and then he asked, “Then, what did you say to him?”
“I said it didn’t matter anymore. It has passed; I’m alright now, so he shouldn’t be bothered with it anymore. It seems he wasn’t satisfied enough though, so he left.”
“Give him some time.” Aiba said gently. “He will be okay tomorrow morning.”
“I hope so.” Ohno mumbled as he closed his eyes. “Because seeing him angry like that makes me feeling guilty - I’m feeling guilty now for admitting it to you guys.”
“You shouldn’t.” He muttered as he pulled his legs close to his chest. “You shouldn’t be guilty - if anything, I’m glad that you shared your thoughts with us, because you rarely do.”
“Maybe it’s my way to protect myself.” The older man replied. “Because when I shared my thoughts, sometimes I have to deal with feelings that I don’t like - like now, I clearly hurt Jun’s feelings, didn’t I.”
Aiba said nothing to that, because they both knew that it was true. Rather, he just stared at Ohno’s tired expression, and he started wondering how it felt like having to deal with those kind of feeling for so long - how did he survived that, really? “But you stayed.” He whispered.
“I am.” Ohno replied with a whisper too, as if they were sharing a secret. “I am.”
“What make you stay?”
Ohno didn’t immediately reply to that - his nose was scrunched up as he was thinking, and Aiba waited patiently for him; there was no need to rush after all, coming to Hawaii like this has somehow made Aiba forgot that time exists, because right now, it almost feel like it didn’t. “Because of you guys.” Ohno opened his eyes, and he smiled. “It’s because of you guys.”
“Us?” Aiba repeated, in which Ohno replied by a nod. “Why?”
“Because we managed to firmly create ‘Arashi’.” Ohno said slowly, as if he was feeling every word that has left his mouth. “We did well, didn’t we? We’ve created Arashi, making it into a place that we could proudly call as our home, with the help from so many others - from our fans too. And when we celebrated our 10th anniversary, I realized that, I’d be stupid if I ever give this up. I didn’t want to give it up. I wanted to stay - so bad.”
Aiba smiled at his words; suddenly he remembered something from his past. He remembered him having this kind of talk with Ohno, and how, over these past years, everything had changed. Softly, he took Ohno’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. “Do you remember when I was sick?”
Ohno looked over at him curiously. “Yeah.”
“Do you remember visiting me at home?”
Ohno’s eyebrows were knitted, but after a while, he finally nodded. “Yeah.”
“Do you remember how you told me to stay? How you persuaded me that Arashi need me?” Aiba watched the realization dawned on Ohno. “I’m really glad that you did that. I’m really glad that I came back, that I was a part of Arashi again.” He latched his fingers together with Ohno, and Ohno stared at their latched fingers, but he said nothing. “We often did it in the concert, didn’t we? The 5 of us.”
“We did.” Ohno said with a nod. “It was heavy.”
“It was.” Aiba squeezed tighter. “Whenever we did this, the 5 of us, it always felt ridiculously heavy. But that heaviness was what made me happy the most. It was heavy, but warm. It was like an anchor - a reassurement, a promise that no matter what, I got 4 other guys that I could rely on. That I am an irreplaceable part of them. That no matter what, this -“He lifted their linked hands. “- would never be broken.”
“I’m glad that I still am a part of Arashi until today.” Aiba whispered. “And it’s all thanks to you. So thank you. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for us. Thank you for staying with us.” He smiled widely, even though his eyes were already blurry from tears. “Thank you, Satoshi.”
And Ohno cried. The tears fell from his sparkling brown eyes one by one, wetting his chubby cheeks; but even then, Ohno was smiling widely. He squeezed Aiba’s hand tighter, as much as possible as he nodded. “Thank you.” He whispered almost inaudibly; his lips trembling from trying to hold back the tears. “Thank you so much.”
And maybe it was the heat of the moment, or maybe it was his repressed feelings - something that he actually craved for but never felt the urge to act for it. But now, everything was different. Ohno’s eyes, though it was wet with tears, were sparkling from the light from the streets. They were close, so close that Aiba could smell the scent of beer and cigarettes and something that was just Ohno. And before he could think, he leaned forward and he pressed his lips softly on Ohno’s plump lips.
Ohno didn’t try to fight back or pushed him away; instead he opened his mouth for him shyly, his free hand reached out to clutch on Aiba’s arm, and then he let Aiba did whatever he wanted. They kissed, lips moving against each other, hands caressing each other skin, warm breaths escaping from each other mouth - it was warm, and they were sweating, and even though maybe it’d be better for them to stop, they didn’t. They did moved inside though, closing the window to the veranda and making the room completely dark but from a slight light that managed to breakthrough, and even then Aiba didn’t let go of Ohno.
Because it felt right - Aiba had always, always wanted to convey his feeling to Ohno. He was grateful for Ohno’s existence, because if it wasn’t for him, then Aiba wouldn’t even be here today. He wasn’t good with words after all, so all that he could do to express how he truly feels - his gratefulness, his happiness, his adoration, and maybe, his love towards Ohno - was just by having him close like this. Kissing him, caressing him, adoring him, cherishing him, and making love to him.
And maybe, tomorrow, they’d have to act like nothing had happened; maybe, tomorrow, he’d be back to the cheerful, goofy Aiba, while Ohno’d stay as his usual sleepy self.
But tonight, he was closer to Ohno than anyone else. Tonight, he was finally able to say ‘thank you’ to him. Tonight, he had Ohno under him, kissing him back and saying “Thank you” again and again that it almost felt like a song for Aiba.
And that was more than enough.