A Place for Us [Chapter 9]
Title: A Place for Us
Pairing: Yama, Ninoai (side-pairing)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: They were childhood friends, and after 6 years, they finally met again. Sho thought that this time, Ohno's life was finally on the right track, but he was completely wrong. This time, he was determined to protect him; this time, he was determined to never let him go anymore.
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own them. I only own this lame story LOL
Warning: There's an attempt of rape, although it's not explicit (in case you guys are not comfortable with it!)
A/N: ANOTHER RIDICULOUSLY LONG FIC IM SO SORRY :'( Its even longer than the one before this - it hits 5600k words, i guess... so sorry about that but pls bear with me! The story is getting closer to the end~ I hope you guys will stick to me through the end! Enjoy the story! Comments will be loved! <3
Calm down. It’s Sho. Calm down.
Ohno chanted the words quietly inside his head as Sho suddenly pushed him down to the floor; he knew that Sho would never hurt him - never - but the quiet chanting inside his head suddenly turned more urgent and louder as Sho’s lips found his. His first reaction was far from kissing back - his body went rigid as his eyes went shut, blocking anything from his sight as he urged himself to not fight back or to not do anything stupid. A part of him told him that it was Sho, and that it’d be okay; it was just a kiss, don’t be stupid, Satoshi.
But there was a bigger part of him that was screaming words at him; he’s going to hurt you too, and this will be the end for you because you trusted him and he’s going to do a greater job on destroying you.
Ohno was too busy with his own mind, trying to fight back the scary thoughts and calm himself down, that he didn’t realized since when Sho’s grips on his arms loosened; but he did felt the sudden freedom. No, Sho was still holding on to him, probably for leverage, but it wasn’t as hard as before. And as Ohno forced himself to focus at the kiss, he realized then that the pain he usually felt when he was kissed by his stepfather never came. Sho’s lips were gentle against him; soft, warm, sweet, and it was moving against him tentatively, as if Sho was as afraid as he was. He only pressed his lips, moving a bit, nipping his lower lips, pulled back, and then did it all over again; it was almost as if Sho was trying to map out his lips, but it took him a few seconds to realize what Sho was doing exactly.
He was giving him a choice.
Ohno immediately felt stupid for even doubting Sho, even more when Sho’s hands on his arms retreated, only to caress his cheeks gently, as if Ohno was so fragile. Sure, he tasted like alcohol, and Ohno was sure that he was actually tipsy, if not drunk, but he admired the self-restraint that Sho had on himself - he knew how easy it was to let go when you were drunk, but Sho was hanging on his insanity.
So that he wouldn’t hurt Ohno.
Ohno let out a small sigh of relief, his whole body relaxing; but Sho seemed to take it as a negative, because the older man suddenly pulled away, though his face was still hovering inches above Ohno, warm breath sweeping against his lips. “Satoshi-kun…”
He cracked his eyes open, only to see Sho staring intently at him; his brown eyes were clouded with lust, but there was something more in it - something like adoration, promise, and, oh how he hoped for it, love.
“Don’t stop.” Ohno whispered, making Sho’s eyes widen in surprise. “Don’t stop, but…” Don’t get too carried away either.
Sho seemed to understand what he wanted, because the older man then leaned down swiftly to kiss his lips again. This time his kiss was more persistent although it was still gentle; this time, fully relaxed, Ohno kissed back as he circled his hands around Sho’s neck, pulling the older man closer to him because suddenly he needed more. He let himself melted into the kiss, feeling the warm ticklish sensation exploded inside him as the kiss deepened, feeling his chest swollen from so much happiness that he couldn’t take it anymore, that it brought tears to his eyes and made him just - lost.
For a moment, Ohno forgot about everything else, like the kiss alone has brought him to someplace where the nightmare wouldn’t be able to touch him - where it simply didn’t exist.
It should’ve been like this. A kiss should’ve felt like this.
They kissed for a while - Ohno had lost track of time, because every time he thought the kiss would be over, Sho’d dive in for another, and another, and when Sho stopped, it was Ohno that sought for his lips. After a while, kissing has become a bit painful - Ohno was pretty sure that his lips was a bit swollen now, but even so, he still welcomed Sho’s lips eagerly, knowing that his kiss has become something like drugs for him - it was addictive, it made him forgot.
But all good thing must end, and Sho was the one who stopped first; he pulled away, taking a deep breathe in, and Ohno waited for a while before he could leaned forward as his way to beg for a kiss, but then Sho planted a kiss on his cheek; leaving feathery kisses on his cheeks, up to his nose, to his forehead, a peck to his lips, and then he went down to Ohno’s neck to kiss it once, before he finally settled down.
And Ohno knew it was over; he felt the dreamy fog that has clouded his mind was slowly disappearing into nothing, and he enjoyed what left from it; he enjoyed how his beating heart slowly calm down, how his ragged breath slowly turned normal, how the heat from his cheeks slowly cooled down - he opened his eyes just when he was fully calmed down, and he was greeted by darkness.
Oh, right. We were still in the middle of hallway. When the realization settled, Ohno finally noticed the hard floor under him along with the heaviness of Sho’s warm body on top of him; he was sure his body was going to hurt tomorrow, but he just let out a small sigh instead as he pulled Sho even closer, inhaling the scent of his shampoo mixed with a little bit of cigarettes scent, before then he finally said, “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”
Sho’s answer didn’t come immediately that it made Ohno worried the older man has fallen asleep. But after a while, the older man croaked out a small, “Yeah.” He cleared his throat, and he tried yet again. “Yeah, I guess so. A bit.”
Ohno blinked. “Will you forget this tomorrow?”
“Never.” This time, Sho’s answer was strong, like he didn’t have a single doubt about it. “Never.”
Ohno let a smile graced his lips, and he kissed the top of Sho’s hair as he whispered, “Thank you.”
Somehow or another, they’ve managed to move to the bedroom; Ohno helped Sho changing because the older man suddenly lost all his energy. He only stared at Ohno sleepily as the younger man stripped him down from his suit with bright cheeks, changing it with a pajama with a little bit of struggle here and there. Sho then climbed to the bed with the little of energy he had left, whining like a kid when Ohno told him to brush his teeth first, and then he opened his arms wide, “Let’s sleep now, Satoshi-kun.”
And Ohno wasn’t strong enough to turn his invitation down; he hugged Sho, and he waited until the older man drifted asleep before he went to the restroom, and then climbed back to the bed where Sho immediately hugged him like a pillow.
And it didn’t take long for Ohno to fall asleep either.
Rather than the ring of alarm, it was Ohno’s phone ringtone that woke him up. Ohno groaned, and he tried to roll away, but Sho’s grip on him was really strong. With a smile, Ohno tried to get free from Sho’s grips, moving his hands out of the way slowly so he wouldn’t wake the older man up, and then he reached for his phone on the nightstand. He peeked at the ID, breathing in relief when it was his mother instead of his stepfather, and then he picked it up. “Hello?” He said hoarsely.
“Did you just wake up?” His mother said instead; Ohno squinted at the clock in the wall, and he shrugged when he saw that it was still 8 am in the morning. “Yeah.” He mumbled. “Lots of assignments to do last night.” He lied.
“Have you finished with them?”
“No, not yet…” Ohno was frowning right now, but he could sense that something was wrong, and it left him a bit more awake. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, I was wondering if you can go home now…” In the background, Ohno could faintly heard Satomi crying, and he felt fear creeping it way to his heart. “Did something happen? Is Satomi okay? Why is she crying?”
“Oh, she’s fine, don’t worry.” Ohno’s mother chuckled a bit; it seems she was walking away from Satomi, because then Ohno couldn’t hear her anymore. “It’s just - well, actually, I’ll be going on a trip today.”
“A trip?” Ohno repeated, eyebrows nearly knitting because he knew nothing about this trip. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, you know that I attend a ceramic class right? All my friends asked me to go to an onsen together with them today, and we’ll be back on Sunday. I was planning on bringing Satomi along, but she got a slight fever - it was your father’s fault, really, for taking her to a pool yesterday.”
“He knew that Satomi’s body is not that strong.” Ohno voice rose a bit, because somehow or another he was suspicious that his stepfather did this on purpose. “He should’ve known better to take Satomi to a pool - and it was getting cold outside either. What was he thinking?”
“He just wanted to make Satomi happy, dear. It has been a while since we took Satomi to a pool after all.” His mother was quick to defend her husband, and Ohno said nothing more to that. “So?” He asked rather impatiently.
“So Satomi can’t come along with me, and I was hoping that you can go home to take care of her for awhile? She’s been crying all day and she won’t let me go - but if you’re here, I guess she’ll be okay.”
“You still want to go?” Ohno asked in disbelief; but even then, he had moved out from the bed, and he walked out to the living room to get his backpack and filled it with some of things he’d needed.
“It has been a while, Satoshi…” His mother nearly whined. “I kinda want to go on this trip - I’ll even buy souvenirs for you and Sakurai-kun!”
I don’t need them. Ohno swallowed the words instead as he mumbled incoherently to the phone; he was sitting on the floor now, gathering some of his books and notes, determined to get some of his works done even though he was back home. “Well, sure.”
“Thank you so much!” His mother said happily. “I’ll be leaving on 10 am, so see you soon, okay?”
“Yeah.” Ohno hung up, and then he put it carelessly on the table. He forced himself to focus on the packing; when it was done, he put his backpack on the sofa, and he walked back to Sho’s room, flopping himself back beside the older man that was still sleeping soundly. “Ne, Sho-chan.” He whispered. “I’ll be going back home for a while.”
And as those words left him, the fear that he had managed to avoid for a while came crushing on him all of sudden; he’d be alone, completely alone, at that house - sure, Satomi’d be there, but that little girl was sick, and she’d probably slept all day.
Imagine all the freedom he had on me then.
He took a deep, shaky breath; he realized that he was trembling already, and he hated this - he hated how inferior he felt against his stepfather, while it shouldn’t be like this at all. Whatever was happening between his stepfather and him needed to stop; he couldn’t go on like this. He couldn’t go on without ever telling Sho the truth; he knew that probably, Sho knew that something fishy was going on, but if anything, Ohno wanted to be the one who told him the truth.
But not now. Not when everything was still a mess. He didn’t have the courage to tell Sho that his stepfather was raping him, and that it was still happening. He couldn’t imagine how Sho’d react; Sho was the kindest person he had ever known, but he also knew that Sho had a very short-temper. It wouldn’t be pretty; they’d fight, and Ohno didn’t want that.
So he should stop it by himself. He should stood up for himself; he should talk to his stepfather that this dirty game that they were playing behind everyone’s back needed to be stopped. He didn’t know whether his stepfather would listen, but it was worth the try. After all, he was still a father, so he should’ve some pity, right? Ohno knew that even though his stepfather treated him like that, but he truly cared about Satomi and himself; if not, he wouldn’t even bother sending him to a good school, giving him a big allowance, buying him things, praising him when he did good at school… And even though he was raping him, he had never hurt him in any other way; he never punched or kicked him or doing all those kinky stuff to him, though he did threatened him and sometimes tied him up because there were days when Ohno just didn’t want to be touched, but that was it.
Ohno believed that he was actually kind, and if he talked to him, he might change.
And then, when everything had settled down, he’d tell Sho. He’d tell Sho the truth, every single bit of it, and he’d leave it to Sho to still accept him or not. That way, he’d still have his pride to hang on.
Ohno exhaled as he felt the fear slowly leaving him; not completely, because there was still a nagging, dull pain at his chest, but it didn’t hurt as much. He scooted closer to Sho, kissing his forehead gently, and he whispered to his ear, “Wait for me, Sho-chan.”
After that, he got up and he showered. He also prepared some simple breakfast for Sho, leaving it on the dining table with a note for him to read, and then he quietly made his way to the front door with his backpack on his shoulder. He opened the door slowly, making little noise as much as possible, and then he walked out and closed it carefully.
Good. There was no sign of Sho waking up.
Ohno fixed his backpack on his shoulder, and, after taking another deep breath, he mumbled, “Ittekimasu.”
And then, he left.
But he missed Sho’s warmth already.
***
Sho had a dream.
He couldn’t remember exactly what it was when his eyes were cracked open, but he realized he was smiling, and he was sure that his dream was a good one; probably because Ohno was in it. He stared at the ceiling for a while, trying to remembering his dream but failing miserably before then he finally rolled around.
His bed was empty.
The fact was being processed slowly in his head, but then Sho found himself forcefully pushing himself up on the bed and looked around; his head was spinning, probably from the alcohol, and his mouth felt so dry and was in need for water, but he opened it and he croaked out a tiny, “Satoshi-kun.”
He received no answer.
Sho groaned as he threw the blanket that was covering his body carelessly to the floor; he stood, feeling the ground spinning under him, and he fell to the bed once more with his eyes shut. “Satoshi-kun.” He tried again, this time louder, but still, there was no answer. Sho gnawed on his lower lips as he stood yet again, and he slowly made his way out of the bedroom; he could smell the strong scent of coffee and a part of him thought that Ohno was currently making breakfast for him.
But the kitchen was empty.
Sho was about to move to another room when he saw his breakfast prepared on the dinner table, with a piece of paper next to it. He hurriedly snatched the paper, and after rubbing his tired eyes, he started to read.
Sho-chan.
Satomi has a fever, but my mother will be going on a trip today, so I have to go back and take care of Satomi.
I’ve prepared your breakfast, and there’s also a katsudon in the fridge, heat it up if you’re hungry, okay?
I’ll come back on Sunday.
I’ll be okay.
Take care.
Ohno did write that he’d be okay, but Sho didn’t believe it at all. He took a glass of water for himself and he gulped it down in one go, before then he went to search for his phone on his room. Gone was his dizziness; he was too worried, too afraid, and as he wait for Ohno to pick up his phone, Sho had even thought of just going to his house and took Ohno and Satomi to his place instead. Gosh, he sounded really over-protective, but he couldn’t help it - something was wrong with his stepfather, and Sho didn’t want Ohno to be with him alone.
He was relieved when Ohno picked up his phone, because at least the younger man was still okay, for now. “Satoshi-kun?” He hurriedly said even when Ohno hasn’t got a say in anything. “Where are you?”
“Ohayou, Sho-chan.” Ohno greeted him instead. “Haven’t you read the memo in the table?”
“I did.”
“Then you know where I am.” Sho could hear the sound of the water running on the background, and he scrunched his nose. “Where are you?” He demanded once again.
“Home.” Ohno sighed; the sound of the water stopped. “I’m cooking for lunch now.”
“Oh.” Sho mumbled. “How’s Satomi-chan?”
“She’s okay. Well, she got a slight fever, but she drank her medicine already; she just needed lots of rest. “
Sho nodded, even though he knew that Ohno couldn’t see him. Now that his worries have seeped away from his body, he sat on the bed; Ohno said nothing more, seemingly waiting for Sho to say something instead. “Can I come over?” Sho asked after a while then.
“Why?” Ohno asked back, as if he knew that Sho’d be asking that.
“I…” He wondered if he should say the truth or not. “I’m worried.”
They both knew what he was worried for without him having to say it, and he could hear Ohno letting out a small sigh before answering, “You shouldn’t.”
“I can’t.” Sho insisted as he ran his hand through his dishelved hair desperately. “I’m so worried, Satoshi-kun. I’m afraid.”
Ohno was silent for a while, before then he admitted. “Me too.” He said in a small whisper.
“Then I’ll go to your place right now. Let’s just take Satomi back to my place - I’ll buy the extra futon right away if I had to.”
“And then what?” Ohno asked, but his voice had saddened. “We went to your place, and then what? My stepfather would seek us out; he’d get angry, he’d create troubles for you, and then what?”
“I don’t care. He can even call a police if he wanted to, but I don’t care.” Sho said stubbornly; he stood from his place and he headed to his closet, pulling out some of his clothes to wear carelessly to the bed. “I’ll pick you up right now.”
“Sho-chan.” Ohno said desperately. “Sho-chan, listen -“
“No, you listen to me!” He cut him off. “You don’t understand, Satoshi-kun! Something is wrong with him - don’t you dare saying the opposite to me because I know it’s true, and yet I didn’t know what is wrong with him, and you won’t tell me either!” He was almost yelling now, but it was out of desperation, of fear, of worries. “And I can’t stop imagining what was it that he was doing to you - that he’ll be doing to you. I can’t stop imagining what is it that he did that made you came back home to me, all scared and trembling and just…“ He trailed off, because he was sure that Ohno was crying now, judging by how the younger man was sniffing on the other end of the phone. “Satoshi-kun…”
“I wanted to tell you.” Ohno said, his voice shaking a bit. “I wanted to tell you so bad; I can’t bear this alone anymore.”
“Then -“
“But not now.” He finished. “Not now, Sho-chan.”
“Then when?” Sho replied in frustration. “What if something happened to you before you can tell me?”
“Give me a chance.” Ohno nearly begged. “I’ll try to finish my problem tonight, and then I’ll tell you, I promise.”
Sho closed his eyes shut as he walked back and forth in his room, too agitated to sit back down. “I don’t know, Satoshi-kun. I don’t know.”
“Just one night.” Ohno tried to convince him. “I’ll talk to him tonight, and -“
“And if it doesn’t work out?”
The silence stretched between them; Sho waited for Ohno to reply, but he knew that even Ohno couldn’t answer that. “If it doesn’t work out…” Ohno muttered. “You’ll come for me, right?”
Sho let out a deep sigh; he didn’t want to give Ohno this chance he was talking about - it was too risky, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stay still throughout the day. But he knew that Ohno have the right for it - it was his family, his problem, and if he wanted to do it alone, then who was Sho to stop him?
It’s just; the possibility of him getting hurt again left Sho uneasy.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.” Sho said after a while then. “And if Satomi-chan is still sick, we’ll bring her with us.”
“Okay.” Sho could hear the relief on Ohno’s voice. “Okay. Thank you.”
“But if anything happened tonight, call me, okay? I’ll come.”
“I know.” Ohno whispered gratefully. “I know.”
“Okay.” He wondered what would be the right timing to hang up, because he wasn’t really willing to do it now. “Well, ganbatte.”
Ohno thanked him once again, and then he could hear Satomi’s voices on the background; the little girl sounded really sick that Sho pitied her, and after saying bye to each other because Ohno have to take care of her, they hung up.
Sho threw himself back into the bed; he was tired, sleepy, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep at all today. So he just lay there on the bed, eyes staring at the ticking clock, and he waited.
He waited for the time where everything would go wrong.
***
36.5 Celcius.
Ohno breathed in relief as he put aside the thermometer on the nightstand; the small girl was already sleeping peacefully, though she let out a small snore, probably because it was hard for her to breathe with her stuffy nose. Ohno ran his hand lovingly on the small girl’s damp hair; he promised himself that he’d prepared hot bath for her tomorrow and he’d allowed her to use the bubbly bath gel and play with the rubber duck as long as she wanted. “Get well soon, okay?” He kissed Satomi’s forehead gently.
“How’s she?” Came a gruff voice from behind him, and Ohno didn’t bother to turn around; he pretended to fix Satomi’s blanket, tucking her securely behind it. “She’ll be okay.” Ohno answered curtly. “You shouldn’t bring her to the pool.” He added with a hint of annoyance.
“She wanted to.” His stepfather shrugged. “Well, I’m sorry for ruining your weekend with Sho-chan.”
Ohno frowned, but he said nothing at that; he tensed a bit when his stepfather was getting closer, though he just went to check Satomi’s temperature with his palm. “Huh. She’d be completely healed by tomorrow.” Ohno watched how his stepfather ruffled Satomi’s hair lovingly before he pulled back, and he felt a pang of jealousy. “You’re really nice to her.” He mumbled then.
“She’s my daughter, what do you expect?” His stepfather replied as if Ohno was so stupid, and it only hurt him more.
“And am I not your son?”
His stepfather clicked his tongue upon his question; he said nothing, and instead he headed downstairs, leaving Ohno’s unanswered question hung heavily in the air. Ohno bit on his lower lips, trying to gather his courage, and after clenching his fist, he followed his stepfather’s steps. The older man was on the kitchen, pouring some beer to himself when Ohno approached him. “Dad, we need to talk.” He said then, stopping a few feet from him because he wasn’t sure being close was a good idea.
His stepfather only hummed, not completely acknowledging him, but at least he allowed him to talk. “It’s about…us.” Ohno mumbled then, unsure on how to start.
“What about us?” His stepfather asked nonchalantly as he put the rest of the beer back to the fridge.
Don’t play dumb, Ohno thought inside his head, but instead he fell silent as he watched his stepfather sipped the beer from his glass, thinking that maybe, this wasn’t going to end up well. “I want us to stop…having sex.” He finally said, though what he had wanted to say was, ‘I wanted you to stop raping me.’
His stepfather said nothing; his eyes boring hole into Ohno’s that it left the younger man almost trembling in fear. He held his gaze though, and he continued, “I want us to stop doing this. This is wrong.”
“And you’re okay with your mom knowing about that?” His stepfather finally spoke. “She’s a very unstable person, you know.”
“She needs to know that the person she lovingly called as her ‘husband’ is fucking her own son.” Ohno spat the words, because as the time passed on, he could feel the anger inside him slowly trying to burst it way outside. “So, yes. I don’t care; I’ll tell her myself if I have to.”
His stepfather suddenly slammed the glass to the table, breaking it and making the content splashed into the table; Ohno watched the beer dripped down from the table to the floor one by one, slowly, and he thought that actually, his stepfather has the capability to break him like that too. “It’s that Sakurai’s fault.” Suddenly his stepfather muttered darkly, making Ohno focusing his gaze to him again. “It’s him who told you to do this, right?”
“No.” Ohno retorted, but unconsciously he took a step back. “He never told me to do this, but he was the one who gave me the courage to do so.”
Surprisingly, his stepfather laughed; he leaned against the table, seemingly not caring that his shirt would get wet from the remaining beer. “Bullshit.” He hissed then. “You wanted to stop now because you’ve been having sex with him, aren’t you?”
“I didn’t!” Ohno snarled, his anger growing and growing at his stepfather’s accusation. “He’s not like you - Sho-chan never does such things to me!”
“Don’t lie to me!” His stepfather yelled, making him flinched. “You did it with him, didn’t you? You guys are probably fucking every night -“
“We didn’t!”
“ -and you’re probably enjoying it, because did you ever see yourself when we’re doing it? You might say no but your body -“
“Shut up!” Ohno yelled; face red from the humiliation as he unconsciously hugged himself. “Sho-chan is different from you - don’t you dare comparing himself to you because you guys are completely different! He respected me, and if I ever wanted to do such things with him, it’s because I love him anyway, but you -“ Ohno pointed at his stepfather; his finger was trembling, and his eyes has gotten blurry from the unshed tears, but he was far too angry to stop now. “You’re supposed to be my father - you’re supposed to protect me, not tainting me with the same lips that you used to kiss my mother!”
Ohno saw the anger flashed on his stepfather’s eyes, and the next thing that happened was far too fast for him to anticipate; his stepfather strode towards him, and before he could ran away, he had managed to grab him and pushed him down to the floor. His head bumped against the floor hardly, and his mouth went opened to groan in pain, but instead his stepfather’s smashed their lips together harshly. The pain was exploding in his mind, and for a moment Ohno felt like he lost his grip on reality; the pain was hammering his head and he could only saw black dots no matter how hard he was trying to focus - he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe - oh my god I can’t breathe I can’t I can’t.
“Stop!” He finally managed to gasp out, though he still didn’t knew what was actually happening; he did realize that his stepfather was trying to strip him off of his clothes, and so he tried to struggle as hard as he could. “Get away from me!”
“Shut up!” His stepfather snarled on top of him. “This is your punishment; I told you that this body of yours belongs to me, but you won’t listen!”
Ohno heard the sound of his jeans being unzipped, and his pupil dilated in fear; no way, was he trying to - “Get away from me!” He yelled frantically. “No, stop it! Just stop!”
Another pain being registered on his mind. This time his cheeks felt like it was burning, and it took him a moment to realize that his stepfather has slapped him. His eyes were hot from the tears as he tried to push him away yet again. “Just please…” He whimpered.
His stepfather ignored him; he pushed Ohno’s hands down and he kept them in place as he doing whatever he pleased, and Ohno closed his eyes, hoping that someone would just come in and help him out - wishing that Sho’d be here to help him right now.
Someone did walk in, but it wasn’t Sho.
“Sato-nii?”
The small voice cut through his desperation, and Ohno’s eyes snapped open as he turned his head to stare at the entrance of the kitchen; his eyes met with Satomi’s scared one - the small girl was standing there while hugging her teddy bear, looking lost and confused and afraid, and Ohno felt something inside him snapped.
“Satomi?” His stepfather’s was as surprised as him, it seems, but Ohno used that time to leaned to the side and he sunk his teeth on his stepfather’s arm as hard as he could. The older man yelped, and when he pulled his wounded hand away, Ohno single-handedly pushed him away with all the strength he could muster. His stepfather rolled away with a groan, and Ohno felt something akin to satisfaction running through his blood upon seeing that sight, but it was very short-lived. Before his stepfather could do anything to him anymore, he ran to the table and he took the sharp shard from the broken glass, and he pointed it at his stepfather right when he looked like he was going to jump on him. “Stay away.” He muttered darkly. “Stay away from me.”
His stepfather’s face paled, and he took a step back. “Satoshi, don’t do anything stupid -“
“Then stay the fuck away!” He yelled at him, palm clenching around the shard and feeling the sharp edge digging on his own skin. “Just go away!”
His stepfather’s looked like he was going to object; the thick silence stretched between them, and then Satomi started crying, and that was when his stepfather finally gave up. The older man fixed his own clothes and then he left; Ohno listened to the sound of his car engine roaring, cutting through the night, and then it was gone.
He left.
Ohno threw the shard into the sink, and then he approached Satomi; the girl was still sobbing, which only get louder as Ohno picked her up. Ohno climbed the stair slowly, not only because Satomi was a bit heavy, but his head hurts, his cheek hurts, and it felt like all his limbs has turned into a jelly. He did manage to bring both of them to Satomi’s room though, and he locked the door, just in case. That was when Ohno’s legs finally gave up, and he slide down the door, leaning against it as he stared blankly into nothing.
Satomi was still crying in front of him, but she was only whimpering now, and then she finally asked him, “Why are you guys fighting?”
Ohno didn’t answer, and Satomi got braver by approaching Ohno quietly. “Are you okay?”
Ohno stared at her, ready to say that he was okay, but the words stuck in his throat, and the next moment, he was crying.
You can’t be fine forever.
“I’m not.” Ohno said between his tears. “I’m not okay.”
Satomi hugged him, asking him where it hurts, and if she could help by putting bandages on him, but all those only made Ohno cried harder. Satomi saw them, and although they weren’t doing anything yet, someday Satomi would understand what it was that was happening, and Ohno couldn’t imagine what she would think of Ohno then. “I’m so sorry.” He sobbed. “I’m so sorry you have to see that. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Satomi insisted. “It’s okay, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll forget about it if you want me to, but don’t cry anymore, nii-chan.” The small girl started crying again. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry.”
But Ohno couldn’t stop the tears that were running down his face, and he hugged the small girl, trying to find comfort in her. For a moment, he thought of calling Sho right away, but he didn’t have the strength to move and get his phone in his room. He was too tired, too drained, and he was too broken that he didn’t feel like he has any idea on how to pull himself back together.
He just wished morning would come sooner.
Chapter 8 | Chapter 10
Pairing: Yama, Ninoai (side-pairing)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: They were childhood friends, and after 6 years, they finally met again. Sho thought that this time, Ohno's life was finally on the right track, but he was completely wrong. This time, he was determined to protect him; this time, he was determined to never let him go anymore.
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own them. I only own this lame story LOL
Warning: There's an attempt of rape, although it's not explicit (in case you guys are not comfortable with it!)
A/N: ANOTHER RIDICULOUSLY LONG FIC IM SO SORRY :'( Its even longer than the one before this - it hits 5600k words, i guess... so sorry about that but pls bear with me! The story is getting closer to the end~ I hope you guys will stick to me through the end! Enjoy the story! Comments will be loved! <3
Calm down. It’s Sho. Calm down.
Ohno chanted the words quietly inside his head as Sho suddenly pushed him down to the floor; he knew that Sho would never hurt him - never - but the quiet chanting inside his head suddenly turned more urgent and louder as Sho’s lips found his. His first reaction was far from kissing back - his body went rigid as his eyes went shut, blocking anything from his sight as he urged himself to not fight back or to not do anything stupid. A part of him told him that it was Sho, and that it’d be okay; it was just a kiss, don’t be stupid, Satoshi.
But there was a bigger part of him that was screaming words at him; he’s going to hurt you too, and this will be the end for you because you trusted him and he’s going to do a greater job on destroying you.
Ohno was too busy with his own mind, trying to fight back the scary thoughts and calm himself down, that he didn’t realized since when Sho’s grips on his arms loosened; but he did felt the sudden freedom. No, Sho was still holding on to him, probably for leverage, but it wasn’t as hard as before. And as Ohno forced himself to focus at the kiss, he realized then that the pain he usually felt when he was kissed by his stepfather never came. Sho’s lips were gentle against him; soft, warm, sweet, and it was moving against him tentatively, as if Sho was as afraid as he was. He only pressed his lips, moving a bit, nipping his lower lips, pulled back, and then did it all over again; it was almost as if Sho was trying to map out his lips, but it took him a few seconds to realize what Sho was doing exactly.
He was giving him a choice.
Ohno immediately felt stupid for even doubting Sho, even more when Sho’s hands on his arms retreated, only to caress his cheeks gently, as if Ohno was so fragile. Sure, he tasted like alcohol, and Ohno was sure that he was actually tipsy, if not drunk, but he admired the self-restraint that Sho had on himself - he knew how easy it was to let go when you were drunk, but Sho was hanging on his insanity.
So that he wouldn’t hurt Ohno.
Ohno let out a small sigh of relief, his whole body relaxing; but Sho seemed to take it as a negative, because the older man suddenly pulled away, though his face was still hovering inches above Ohno, warm breath sweeping against his lips. “Satoshi-kun…”
He cracked his eyes open, only to see Sho staring intently at him; his brown eyes were clouded with lust, but there was something more in it - something like adoration, promise, and, oh how he hoped for it, love.
“Don’t stop.” Ohno whispered, making Sho’s eyes widen in surprise. “Don’t stop, but…” Don’t get too carried away either.
Sho seemed to understand what he wanted, because the older man then leaned down swiftly to kiss his lips again. This time his kiss was more persistent although it was still gentle; this time, fully relaxed, Ohno kissed back as he circled his hands around Sho’s neck, pulling the older man closer to him because suddenly he needed more. He let himself melted into the kiss, feeling the warm ticklish sensation exploded inside him as the kiss deepened, feeling his chest swollen from so much happiness that he couldn’t take it anymore, that it brought tears to his eyes and made him just - lost.
For a moment, Ohno forgot about everything else, like the kiss alone has brought him to someplace where the nightmare wouldn’t be able to touch him - where it simply didn’t exist.
It should’ve been like this. A kiss should’ve felt like this.
They kissed for a while - Ohno had lost track of time, because every time he thought the kiss would be over, Sho’d dive in for another, and another, and when Sho stopped, it was Ohno that sought for his lips. After a while, kissing has become a bit painful - Ohno was pretty sure that his lips was a bit swollen now, but even so, he still welcomed Sho’s lips eagerly, knowing that his kiss has become something like drugs for him - it was addictive, it made him forgot.
But all good thing must end, and Sho was the one who stopped first; he pulled away, taking a deep breathe in, and Ohno waited for a while before he could leaned forward as his way to beg for a kiss, but then Sho planted a kiss on his cheek; leaving feathery kisses on his cheeks, up to his nose, to his forehead, a peck to his lips, and then he went down to Ohno’s neck to kiss it once, before he finally settled down.
And Ohno knew it was over; he felt the dreamy fog that has clouded his mind was slowly disappearing into nothing, and he enjoyed what left from it; he enjoyed how his beating heart slowly calm down, how his ragged breath slowly turned normal, how the heat from his cheeks slowly cooled down - he opened his eyes just when he was fully calmed down, and he was greeted by darkness.
Oh, right. We were still in the middle of hallway. When the realization settled, Ohno finally noticed the hard floor under him along with the heaviness of Sho’s warm body on top of him; he was sure his body was going to hurt tomorrow, but he just let out a small sigh instead as he pulled Sho even closer, inhaling the scent of his shampoo mixed with a little bit of cigarettes scent, before then he finally said, “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”
Sho’s answer didn’t come immediately that it made Ohno worried the older man has fallen asleep. But after a while, the older man croaked out a small, “Yeah.” He cleared his throat, and he tried yet again. “Yeah, I guess so. A bit.”
Ohno blinked. “Will you forget this tomorrow?”
“Never.” This time, Sho’s answer was strong, like he didn’t have a single doubt about it. “Never.”
Ohno let a smile graced his lips, and he kissed the top of Sho’s hair as he whispered, “Thank you.”
Somehow or another, they’ve managed to move to the bedroom; Ohno helped Sho changing because the older man suddenly lost all his energy. He only stared at Ohno sleepily as the younger man stripped him down from his suit with bright cheeks, changing it with a pajama with a little bit of struggle here and there. Sho then climbed to the bed with the little of energy he had left, whining like a kid when Ohno told him to brush his teeth first, and then he opened his arms wide, “Let’s sleep now, Satoshi-kun.”
And Ohno wasn’t strong enough to turn his invitation down; he hugged Sho, and he waited until the older man drifted asleep before he went to the restroom, and then climbed back to the bed where Sho immediately hugged him like a pillow.
And it didn’t take long for Ohno to fall asleep either.
Rather than the ring of alarm, it was Ohno’s phone ringtone that woke him up. Ohno groaned, and he tried to roll away, but Sho’s grip on him was really strong. With a smile, Ohno tried to get free from Sho’s grips, moving his hands out of the way slowly so he wouldn’t wake the older man up, and then he reached for his phone on the nightstand. He peeked at the ID, breathing in relief when it was his mother instead of his stepfather, and then he picked it up. “Hello?” He said hoarsely.
“Did you just wake up?” His mother said instead; Ohno squinted at the clock in the wall, and he shrugged when he saw that it was still 8 am in the morning. “Yeah.” He mumbled. “Lots of assignments to do last night.” He lied.
“Have you finished with them?”
“No, not yet…” Ohno was frowning right now, but he could sense that something was wrong, and it left him a bit more awake. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, I was wondering if you can go home now…” In the background, Ohno could faintly heard Satomi crying, and he felt fear creeping it way to his heart. “Did something happen? Is Satomi okay? Why is she crying?”
“Oh, she’s fine, don’t worry.” Ohno’s mother chuckled a bit; it seems she was walking away from Satomi, because then Ohno couldn’t hear her anymore. “It’s just - well, actually, I’ll be going on a trip today.”
“A trip?” Ohno repeated, eyebrows nearly knitting because he knew nothing about this trip. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, you know that I attend a ceramic class right? All my friends asked me to go to an onsen together with them today, and we’ll be back on Sunday. I was planning on bringing Satomi along, but she got a slight fever - it was your father’s fault, really, for taking her to a pool yesterday.”
“He knew that Satomi’s body is not that strong.” Ohno voice rose a bit, because somehow or another he was suspicious that his stepfather did this on purpose. “He should’ve known better to take Satomi to a pool - and it was getting cold outside either. What was he thinking?”
“He just wanted to make Satomi happy, dear. It has been a while since we took Satomi to a pool after all.” His mother was quick to defend her husband, and Ohno said nothing more to that. “So?” He asked rather impatiently.
“So Satomi can’t come along with me, and I was hoping that you can go home to take care of her for awhile? She’s been crying all day and she won’t let me go - but if you’re here, I guess she’ll be okay.”
“You still want to go?” Ohno asked in disbelief; but even then, he had moved out from the bed, and he walked out to the living room to get his backpack and filled it with some of things he’d needed.
“It has been a while, Satoshi…” His mother nearly whined. “I kinda want to go on this trip - I’ll even buy souvenirs for you and Sakurai-kun!”
I don’t need them. Ohno swallowed the words instead as he mumbled incoherently to the phone; he was sitting on the floor now, gathering some of his books and notes, determined to get some of his works done even though he was back home. “Well, sure.”
“Thank you so much!” His mother said happily. “I’ll be leaving on 10 am, so see you soon, okay?”
“Yeah.” Ohno hung up, and then he put it carelessly on the table. He forced himself to focus on the packing; when it was done, he put his backpack on the sofa, and he walked back to Sho’s room, flopping himself back beside the older man that was still sleeping soundly. “Ne, Sho-chan.” He whispered. “I’ll be going back home for a while.”
And as those words left him, the fear that he had managed to avoid for a while came crushing on him all of sudden; he’d be alone, completely alone, at that house - sure, Satomi’d be there, but that little girl was sick, and she’d probably slept all day.
Imagine all the freedom he had on me then.
He took a deep, shaky breath; he realized that he was trembling already, and he hated this - he hated how inferior he felt against his stepfather, while it shouldn’t be like this at all. Whatever was happening between his stepfather and him needed to stop; he couldn’t go on like this. He couldn’t go on without ever telling Sho the truth; he knew that probably, Sho knew that something fishy was going on, but if anything, Ohno wanted to be the one who told him the truth.
But not now. Not when everything was still a mess. He didn’t have the courage to tell Sho that his stepfather was raping him, and that it was still happening. He couldn’t imagine how Sho’d react; Sho was the kindest person he had ever known, but he also knew that Sho had a very short-temper. It wouldn’t be pretty; they’d fight, and Ohno didn’t want that.
So he should stop it by himself. He should stood up for himself; he should talk to his stepfather that this dirty game that they were playing behind everyone’s back needed to be stopped. He didn’t know whether his stepfather would listen, but it was worth the try. After all, he was still a father, so he should’ve some pity, right? Ohno knew that even though his stepfather treated him like that, but he truly cared about Satomi and himself; if not, he wouldn’t even bother sending him to a good school, giving him a big allowance, buying him things, praising him when he did good at school… And even though he was raping him, he had never hurt him in any other way; he never punched or kicked him or doing all those kinky stuff to him, though he did threatened him and sometimes tied him up because there were days when Ohno just didn’t want to be touched, but that was it.
Ohno believed that he was actually kind, and if he talked to him, he might change.
And then, when everything had settled down, he’d tell Sho. He’d tell Sho the truth, every single bit of it, and he’d leave it to Sho to still accept him or not. That way, he’d still have his pride to hang on.
Ohno exhaled as he felt the fear slowly leaving him; not completely, because there was still a nagging, dull pain at his chest, but it didn’t hurt as much. He scooted closer to Sho, kissing his forehead gently, and he whispered to his ear, “Wait for me, Sho-chan.”
After that, he got up and he showered. He also prepared some simple breakfast for Sho, leaving it on the dining table with a note for him to read, and then he quietly made his way to the front door with his backpack on his shoulder. He opened the door slowly, making little noise as much as possible, and then he walked out and closed it carefully.
Good. There was no sign of Sho waking up.
Ohno fixed his backpack on his shoulder, and, after taking another deep breath, he mumbled, “Ittekimasu.”
And then, he left.
But he missed Sho’s warmth already.
***
Sho had a dream.
He couldn’t remember exactly what it was when his eyes were cracked open, but he realized he was smiling, and he was sure that his dream was a good one; probably because Ohno was in it. He stared at the ceiling for a while, trying to remembering his dream but failing miserably before then he finally rolled around.
His bed was empty.
The fact was being processed slowly in his head, but then Sho found himself forcefully pushing himself up on the bed and looked around; his head was spinning, probably from the alcohol, and his mouth felt so dry and was in need for water, but he opened it and he croaked out a tiny, “Satoshi-kun.”
He received no answer.
Sho groaned as he threw the blanket that was covering his body carelessly to the floor; he stood, feeling the ground spinning under him, and he fell to the bed once more with his eyes shut. “Satoshi-kun.” He tried again, this time louder, but still, there was no answer. Sho gnawed on his lower lips as he stood yet again, and he slowly made his way out of the bedroom; he could smell the strong scent of coffee and a part of him thought that Ohno was currently making breakfast for him.
But the kitchen was empty.
Sho was about to move to another room when he saw his breakfast prepared on the dinner table, with a piece of paper next to it. He hurriedly snatched the paper, and after rubbing his tired eyes, he started to read.
Sho-chan.
Satomi has a fever, but my mother will be going on a trip today, so I have to go back and take care of Satomi.
I’ve prepared your breakfast, and there’s also a katsudon in the fridge, heat it up if you’re hungry, okay?
I’ll come back on Sunday.
I’ll be okay.
Take care.
Ohno did write that he’d be okay, but Sho didn’t believe it at all. He took a glass of water for himself and he gulped it down in one go, before then he went to search for his phone on his room. Gone was his dizziness; he was too worried, too afraid, and as he wait for Ohno to pick up his phone, Sho had even thought of just going to his house and took Ohno and Satomi to his place instead. Gosh, he sounded really over-protective, but he couldn’t help it - something was wrong with his stepfather, and Sho didn’t want Ohno to be with him alone.
He was relieved when Ohno picked up his phone, because at least the younger man was still okay, for now. “Satoshi-kun?” He hurriedly said even when Ohno hasn’t got a say in anything. “Where are you?”
“Ohayou, Sho-chan.” Ohno greeted him instead. “Haven’t you read the memo in the table?”
“I did.”
“Then you know where I am.” Sho could hear the sound of the water running on the background, and he scrunched his nose. “Where are you?” He demanded once again.
“Home.” Ohno sighed; the sound of the water stopped. “I’m cooking for lunch now.”
“Oh.” Sho mumbled. “How’s Satomi-chan?”
“She’s okay. Well, she got a slight fever, but she drank her medicine already; she just needed lots of rest. “
Sho nodded, even though he knew that Ohno couldn’t see him. Now that his worries have seeped away from his body, he sat on the bed; Ohno said nothing more, seemingly waiting for Sho to say something instead. “Can I come over?” Sho asked after a while then.
“Why?” Ohno asked back, as if he knew that Sho’d be asking that.
“I…” He wondered if he should say the truth or not. “I’m worried.”
They both knew what he was worried for without him having to say it, and he could hear Ohno letting out a small sigh before answering, “You shouldn’t.”
“I can’t.” Sho insisted as he ran his hand through his dishelved hair desperately. “I’m so worried, Satoshi-kun. I’m afraid.”
Ohno was silent for a while, before then he admitted. “Me too.” He said in a small whisper.
“Then I’ll go to your place right now. Let’s just take Satomi back to my place - I’ll buy the extra futon right away if I had to.”
“And then what?” Ohno asked, but his voice had saddened. “We went to your place, and then what? My stepfather would seek us out; he’d get angry, he’d create troubles for you, and then what?”
“I don’t care. He can even call a police if he wanted to, but I don’t care.” Sho said stubbornly; he stood from his place and he headed to his closet, pulling out some of his clothes to wear carelessly to the bed. “I’ll pick you up right now.”
“Sho-chan.” Ohno said desperately. “Sho-chan, listen -“
“No, you listen to me!” He cut him off. “You don’t understand, Satoshi-kun! Something is wrong with him - don’t you dare saying the opposite to me because I know it’s true, and yet I didn’t know what is wrong with him, and you won’t tell me either!” He was almost yelling now, but it was out of desperation, of fear, of worries. “And I can’t stop imagining what was it that he was doing to you - that he’ll be doing to you. I can’t stop imagining what is it that he did that made you came back home to me, all scared and trembling and just…“ He trailed off, because he was sure that Ohno was crying now, judging by how the younger man was sniffing on the other end of the phone. “Satoshi-kun…”
“I wanted to tell you.” Ohno said, his voice shaking a bit. “I wanted to tell you so bad; I can’t bear this alone anymore.”
“Then -“
“But not now.” He finished. “Not now, Sho-chan.”
“Then when?” Sho replied in frustration. “What if something happened to you before you can tell me?”
“Give me a chance.” Ohno nearly begged. “I’ll try to finish my problem tonight, and then I’ll tell you, I promise.”
Sho closed his eyes shut as he walked back and forth in his room, too agitated to sit back down. “I don’t know, Satoshi-kun. I don’t know.”
“Just one night.” Ohno tried to convince him. “I’ll talk to him tonight, and -“
“And if it doesn’t work out?”
The silence stretched between them; Sho waited for Ohno to reply, but he knew that even Ohno couldn’t answer that. “If it doesn’t work out…” Ohno muttered. “You’ll come for me, right?”
Sho let out a deep sigh; he didn’t want to give Ohno this chance he was talking about - it was too risky, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stay still throughout the day. But he knew that Ohno have the right for it - it was his family, his problem, and if he wanted to do it alone, then who was Sho to stop him?
It’s just; the possibility of him getting hurt again left Sho uneasy.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.” Sho said after a while then. “And if Satomi-chan is still sick, we’ll bring her with us.”
“Okay.” Sho could hear the relief on Ohno’s voice. “Okay. Thank you.”
“But if anything happened tonight, call me, okay? I’ll come.”
“I know.” Ohno whispered gratefully. “I know.”
“Okay.” He wondered what would be the right timing to hang up, because he wasn’t really willing to do it now. “Well, ganbatte.”
Ohno thanked him once again, and then he could hear Satomi’s voices on the background; the little girl sounded really sick that Sho pitied her, and after saying bye to each other because Ohno have to take care of her, they hung up.
Sho threw himself back into the bed; he was tired, sleepy, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep at all today. So he just lay there on the bed, eyes staring at the ticking clock, and he waited.
He waited for the time where everything would go wrong.
***
36.5 Celcius.
Ohno breathed in relief as he put aside the thermometer on the nightstand; the small girl was already sleeping peacefully, though she let out a small snore, probably because it was hard for her to breathe with her stuffy nose. Ohno ran his hand lovingly on the small girl’s damp hair; he promised himself that he’d prepared hot bath for her tomorrow and he’d allowed her to use the bubbly bath gel and play with the rubber duck as long as she wanted. “Get well soon, okay?” He kissed Satomi’s forehead gently.
“How’s she?” Came a gruff voice from behind him, and Ohno didn’t bother to turn around; he pretended to fix Satomi’s blanket, tucking her securely behind it. “She’ll be okay.” Ohno answered curtly. “You shouldn’t bring her to the pool.” He added with a hint of annoyance.
“She wanted to.” His stepfather shrugged. “Well, I’m sorry for ruining your weekend with Sho-chan.”
Ohno frowned, but he said nothing at that; he tensed a bit when his stepfather was getting closer, though he just went to check Satomi’s temperature with his palm. “Huh. She’d be completely healed by tomorrow.” Ohno watched how his stepfather ruffled Satomi’s hair lovingly before he pulled back, and he felt a pang of jealousy. “You’re really nice to her.” He mumbled then.
“She’s my daughter, what do you expect?” His stepfather replied as if Ohno was so stupid, and it only hurt him more.
“And am I not your son?”
His stepfather clicked his tongue upon his question; he said nothing, and instead he headed downstairs, leaving Ohno’s unanswered question hung heavily in the air. Ohno bit on his lower lips, trying to gather his courage, and after clenching his fist, he followed his stepfather’s steps. The older man was on the kitchen, pouring some beer to himself when Ohno approached him. “Dad, we need to talk.” He said then, stopping a few feet from him because he wasn’t sure being close was a good idea.
His stepfather only hummed, not completely acknowledging him, but at least he allowed him to talk. “It’s about…us.” Ohno mumbled then, unsure on how to start.
“What about us?” His stepfather asked nonchalantly as he put the rest of the beer back to the fridge.
Don’t play dumb, Ohno thought inside his head, but instead he fell silent as he watched his stepfather sipped the beer from his glass, thinking that maybe, this wasn’t going to end up well. “I want us to stop…having sex.” He finally said, though what he had wanted to say was, ‘I wanted you to stop raping me.’
His stepfather said nothing; his eyes boring hole into Ohno’s that it left the younger man almost trembling in fear. He held his gaze though, and he continued, “I want us to stop doing this. This is wrong.”
“And you’re okay with your mom knowing about that?” His stepfather finally spoke. “She’s a very unstable person, you know.”
“She needs to know that the person she lovingly called as her ‘husband’ is fucking her own son.” Ohno spat the words, because as the time passed on, he could feel the anger inside him slowly trying to burst it way outside. “So, yes. I don’t care; I’ll tell her myself if I have to.”
His stepfather suddenly slammed the glass to the table, breaking it and making the content splashed into the table; Ohno watched the beer dripped down from the table to the floor one by one, slowly, and he thought that actually, his stepfather has the capability to break him like that too. “It’s that Sakurai’s fault.” Suddenly his stepfather muttered darkly, making Ohno focusing his gaze to him again. “It’s him who told you to do this, right?”
“No.” Ohno retorted, but unconsciously he took a step back. “He never told me to do this, but he was the one who gave me the courage to do so.”
Surprisingly, his stepfather laughed; he leaned against the table, seemingly not caring that his shirt would get wet from the remaining beer. “Bullshit.” He hissed then. “You wanted to stop now because you’ve been having sex with him, aren’t you?”
“I didn’t!” Ohno snarled, his anger growing and growing at his stepfather’s accusation. “He’s not like you - Sho-chan never does such things to me!”
“Don’t lie to me!” His stepfather yelled, making him flinched. “You did it with him, didn’t you? You guys are probably fucking every night -“
“We didn’t!”
“ -and you’re probably enjoying it, because did you ever see yourself when we’re doing it? You might say no but your body -“
“Shut up!” Ohno yelled; face red from the humiliation as he unconsciously hugged himself. “Sho-chan is different from you - don’t you dare comparing himself to you because you guys are completely different! He respected me, and if I ever wanted to do such things with him, it’s because I love him anyway, but you -“ Ohno pointed at his stepfather; his finger was trembling, and his eyes has gotten blurry from the unshed tears, but he was far too angry to stop now. “You’re supposed to be my father - you’re supposed to protect me, not tainting me with the same lips that you used to kiss my mother!”
Ohno saw the anger flashed on his stepfather’s eyes, and the next thing that happened was far too fast for him to anticipate; his stepfather strode towards him, and before he could ran away, he had managed to grab him and pushed him down to the floor. His head bumped against the floor hardly, and his mouth went opened to groan in pain, but instead his stepfather’s smashed their lips together harshly. The pain was exploding in his mind, and for a moment Ohno felt like he lost his grip on reality; the pain was hammering his head and he could only saw black dots no matter how hard he was trying to focus - he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe - oh my god I can’t breathe I can’t I can’t.
“Stop!” He finally managed to gasp out, though he still didn’t knew what was actually happening; he did realize that his stepfather was trying to strip him off of his clothes, and so he tried to struggle as hard as he could. “Get away from me!”
“Shut up!” His stepfather snarled on top of him. “This is your punishment; I told you that this body of yours belongs to me, but you won’t listen!”
Ohno heard the sound of his jeans being unzipped, and his pupil dilated in fear; no way, was he trying to - “Get away from me!” He yelled frantically. “No, stop it! Just stop!”
Another pain being registered on his mind. This time his cheeks felt like it was burning, and it took him a moment to realize that his stepfather has slapped him. His eyes were hot from the tears as he tried to push him away yet again. “Just please…” He whimpered.
His stepfather ignored him; he pushed Ohno’s hands down and he kept them in place as he doing whatever he pleased, and Ohno closed his eyes, hoping that someone would just come in and help him out - wishing that Sho’d be here to help him right now.
Someone did walk in, but it wasn’t Sho.
“Sato-nii?”
The small voice cut through his desperation, and Ohno’s eyes snapped open as he turned his head to stare at the entrance of the kitchen; his eyes met with Satomi’s scared one - the small girl was standing there while hugging her teddy bear, looking lost and confused and afraid, and Ohno felt something inside him snapped.
“Satomi?” His stepfather’s was as surprised as him, it seems, but Ohno used that time to leaned to the side and he sunk his teeth on his stepfather’s arm as hard as he could. The older man yelped, and when he pulled his wounded hand away, Ohno single-handedly pushed him away with all the strength he could muster. His stepfather rolled away with a groan, and Ohno felt something akin to satisfaction running through his blood upon seeing that sight, but it was very short-lived. Before his stepfather could do anything to him anymore, he ran to the table and he took the sharp shard from the broken glass, and he pointed it at his stepfather right when he looked like he was going to jump on him. “Stay away.” He muttered darkly. “Stay away from me.”
His stepfather’s face paled, and he took a step back. “Satoshi, don’t do anything stupid -“
“Then stay the fuck away!” He yelled at him, palm clenching around the shard and feeling the sharp edge digging on his own skin. “Just go away!”
His stepfather’s looked like he was going to object; the thick silence stretched between them, and then Satomi started crying, and that was when his stepfather finally gave up. The older man fixed his own clothes and then he left; Ohno listened to the sound of his car engine roaring, cutting through the night, and then it was gone.
He left.
Ohno threw the shard into the sink, and then he approached Satomi; the girl was still sobbing, which only get louder as Ohno picked her up. Ohno climbed the stair slowly, not only because Satomi was a bit heavy, but his head hurts, his cheek hurts, and it felt like all his limbs has turned into a jelly. He did manage to bring both of them to Satomi’s room though, and he locked the door, just in case. That was when Ohno’s legs finally gave up, and he slide down the door, leaning against it as he stared blankly into nothing.
Satomi was still crying in front of him, but she was only whimpering now, and then she finally asked him, “Why are you guys fighting?”
Ohno didn’t answer, and Satomi got braver by approaching Ohno quietly. “Are you okay?”
Ohno stared at her, ready to say that he was okay, but the words stuck in his throat, and the next moment, he was crying.
You can’t be fine forever.
“I’m not.” Ohno said between his tears. “I’m not okay.”
Satomi hugged him, asking him where it hurts, and if she could help by putting bandages on him, but all those only made Ohno cried harder. Satomi saw them, and although they weren’t doing anything yet, someday Satomi would understand what it was that was happening, and Ohno couldn’t imagine what she would think of Ohno then. “I’m so sorry.” He sobbed. “I’m so sorry you have to see that. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Satomi insisted. “It’s okay, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll forget about it if you want me to, but don’t cry anymore, nii-chan.” The small girl started crying again. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry.”
But Ohno couldn’t stop the tears that were running down his face, and he hugged the small girl, trying to find comfort in her. For a moment, he thought of calling Sho right away, but he didn’t have the strength to move and get his phone in his room. He was too tired, too drained, and he was too broken that he didn’t feel like he has any idea on how to pull himself back together.
He just wished morning would come sooner.
Chapter 8 | Chapter 10