Ready or Not Chapter 2

Jan 02, 2011 21:53

In which I continue to be a mean cock-blocking author lol.

Title: Ready or Not Chapter 2
Pairing: Onew/Taemin
Length: 4007
Genre: Romantic /Fluff/Slice of Life/
Rating: R
Summary:  Jinki has to deal with more jealousy over Taemin than he expected/Taemin just wants to be with Jinki
A/N Because  I didn't want to sound like an even bigger pervette than I ( Read more... )

ontae, my fic, my fic: ready or not, taemin, onew

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spot for <lj user="cablackwood"> addicterated January 3 2011, 02:56:05 UTC
spot

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Re: spot for <lj user="cablackwood"> cablackwood January 3 2011, 07:08:58 UTC
Oooooo I has spot!
*runs off to read*

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Re: spot for <lj user="cablackwood"> cablackwood January 3 2011, 11:09:30 UTC
Take two: Hopefully LJ will let this post :\

'"But you get to tell the others," Taemin adds, sliding out of bed before Jinki can grab him.'
-MAKNAES ARE EVIL! lol
Always leaving the dirty work to their elders xD

"Jinki's hand immediately finds Taemin's and the elder pulls him until they are standing very close to each other but not touching anywhere but where Taemin's hand lies in Jinki's."
-Thats so ewwy-gooy-fluffy-ness I don't even KNOW what to call it xDDD

"He almost wishes he could just pass notes as if they both were fifth graders"
-Oh my GAWD that would have been UBBER KYUTE!!!! 8D
I can just picture it and I see Taemin giggleing like a shy school girl at some things that Jinki would write.....then blush HARD at others *wink wink*

............ :\
ok this wasn't as good as the first attempt at commenting *shrugs* and there was more, but I can only remember commenting on these parts......CURSE YOU LJ!!!!!! *stabs with spork*
*giggles* when I remember more, will comment again ^^
but, I must be off to bed *huggles* night bb

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Re: spot for <lj user="cablackwood"> addicterated January 3 2011, 19:59:35 UTC
Always and forever, evil. LOL. These were cute parts of the fic, i'm glad you liked it bb. *snuggles*

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spot for <lj user="kaybee38"> addicterated January 3 2011, 02:56:24 UTC
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Re: spot for <lj user="kaybee38"> kaybee38 January 3 2011, 05:03:40 UTC
This is brilliant. Truly magical the way you describe their energy. All this right here?

Taemin finds one of his hands on Jinki's shoulder, pushed under his clothes to feel the warm muscle and skin beneath it. He's clinging hard even though they've barely started kissing. Jinki has a way of turning his brains to mush with a light brush of his mouth. The other hand tangles in the folds of the leather jacket Jinki is still wearing, crumpling the soft hide as he pushes forward and parts his lips, inviting Jinki's tongue into his mouth. He doesn't, can't say how much he rather enjoys Jinki being irrational about him; it's such a contrast to how the older one usually behaves ( ... )

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Re: spot for <lj user="kaybee38"> addicterated January 3 2011, 05:09:28 UTC
I honestly do not see Taemin as dumb. A bit spastic, a bit airheaded, certainly, but dumb? Nah, so I couldn't write that...

And i needed the protective Key in there because I agree i think that's how Key feels...i just wanted to go against that Key is a girl with a dick stereotype we see so often so i downplayed it so it would come across more masculine and serious.

thank you thank you

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Re: spot for <lj user="kaybee38"> kaybee38 January 3 2011, 05:05:10 UTC
I agree with stjoan4eva that there's something just under the surface going on with Minho. But I can't place whether it's directed at Minho or Tae. Hmmm.

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spot for <lj user="stjoan4eva"> addicterated January 3 2011, 02:56:42 UTC
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Re: spot for <lj user="stjoan4eva"> stjoan4eva January 3 2011, 04:04:41 UTC
Jealous Jinki really made my day! ^_^

This wasn't boring at all! I think you did a great job showing the tension and nervousness, and they way they both were ready for the worst but then got "IT'S ABOUT TIME SHEESH WE ALL TOTALLY KNEW ALREADY." (except for Minho. I sense things bubbling under that quiet exterior, but maybe it's just me.)

Jinki isn't sure what to do or what to say or how to start this conversation. He almost wishes he could just pass notes as if they both were fifth graders but his inner adult vetoes that plan before he can go find paper and pencils.

That is the line I want to put a gold star next to. Wonderful, in character, and just enough relief of tension to bring a smile without breaking the mood. Well done!

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Re: spot for <lj user="stjoan4eva"> addicterated January 3 2011, 04:07:57 UTC
*Squees happily* Minho's reaction was the one I had hardest in figuring out how he might react, Jjong and Key i just thought would be like "yeah and?"

(I couldn't do that stereotypical Key!Umma stuff just doesn't work for me)

So we'll hear more from Minho about how he feels about the situation

and thanks, i think that line about the passing notes was my favorite out of the whole chapter :)

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Re: spot for <lj user="stjoan4eva"> stjoan4eva January 3 2011, 04:19:29 UTC
That reminds me...did you catch the pic of Taemin and Kyuhyun I posted? I thought of you the second I stopped shivering in fear. ^_^

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spot for <lj user="kinnosuikazura"> addicterated January 3 2011, 02:57:44 UTC
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Re: spot for <lj user="kinnosuikazura"> kyttenfae January 3 2011, 05:03:12 UTC
Ok, first thing I've got to say: massive fic blueballs here. Seriously, woman. *blinks rapidly at ending of chapter, magically willing more pretty to appear* But it's a well-written ending for the chapter, because in their lives you just /know/ they get next to no private time, poor bbs!

Ok so the rest... LOVE! The slice-of-life-ness, the jealousy and possessiveness (HOT), Taetae's worry (been there lol), it was all really well done, and realistic without being boring at all. And I /loved/ how it played out with their big relationship reveal. *sporfle*

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Re: spot for <lj user="kinnosuikazura"> addicterated January 3 2011, 05:07:04 UTC
I did warn ya that I was cock blocking *giggle*

And yeah, whatever I write, I try to give it some basis on reality, though I hear an au for them kinda calling my name. *sigh*

Hee, glad you liked it. I was really spazzing that it was boring cause I have this....compulsion to put in details that other people skip over or don't pu tin there and yeah their reveal was so anticlimactic lol.

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addicterated January 3 2011, 02:58:40 UTC
spot for theblobmaster

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