Excerpt time!

[adam_epp]

Apparently, it is Unohana's birthday today, so I can think of no better time to post this preview of my upcoming story, Elucidity. That story's a little on the long side and I'm not done yet, but I want to capitalize on the current events in Bleach, anyways. So here is my fantasy fight against Yammy.

Title: Memory in an Eclipsed Dream
Rating: T...for

Comments

*imagine sexy Unohana icon here*

[laurie_bunter]

Ohh... I like the way you described Unohana's flowing hair. Even before the crazy new OP showed her sexy side, I knew it was lurking there beneath her placid exterior. Whee~~

We already talked about this, but Unohana stopping Yammi with one hand is so awesome. It explains why Aizen seemed to show a little respect for her, too.

I like the changes you did, not because I suggested them but... you know. XD It's nice to know you listen to me sometimes.

I'm slightly relieved you got rid of the "throb throb" bits, because that would totally not work for a one-shot. I'm not exactly sure if it works for the longer fic, either, but then I don't want to judge yet until you're done with a first draft of everything.

I will now wait for the installment with Byakuya. XD

Re: *imagine sexy Unohana icon here*

[adam_epp]

Hmm, I think Unohana's hair flowing could use a little tweaking, but thanks. And, definitely, Unohana has MILF powers hidden within her (even though she may not technically be a mother).

Yeah, it's always awesome to stop a giant with one hand. My only concern is making Unohana too awesome, because I can't have the most awesome scenes all bunched up at the beginning. Fortunately, since my story is Rukia-centric, it doesn't really matter how awesome I make Unohana. Phew.

Yes, I listen to you.

And I decided to permanently get rid of the throb parts and replace them with something wetter. The wet sound effects do a better job of briding this scene with the next flashback.

Lastly, my original stories are going nowhere once again so I'll probably shift back to this story again, so maybe you'll read some Byakuya moments shortly. And thanks for the comment, of course (I'll get to commenting on your latest story soon!).

[vesperh]

Way to go, Unohana! It makes a lot of sense that she would fight this way--surgically, without waste or drama and especially without messing around. Slash slash slash slash, it's done. I think you've done a good job of balancing both the healer aspect of her character and the fighting aspect that must be there as well; in fact, it makes me want to know more about the 4th in general wrt their fighting styles and abilities. So how do you think this relates to that squid-thing that is the normal manifestation of her power?

The only thing I would suggest is that, since this is Rukia's POV, I would have liked to see something of her thoughts/reaction to Unohana's appearance and fight. Her narration feels journalistic to me, detached, when I would expect her to be happy or relieved or worried or something. Maybe that fits into the rest of your story, though, in which case pay me no mind.

I look forward to seeing the rest of this piece when it's finished!

[adam_epp]

Phew, I'm glad you think it makes sense for her to fight like this. I think she's the type who's a little reluctant to even initiate fights (as she has yet to engage in a battle), so I reckon she would want to finish them quickly those few times she actually does fight

[sequora]

I normally hate doctors b/c of their arogance and their attitude. Needless to say, working at a hospital has added fuel to this fire. I understand it's not easy being a doctor. Having to decide who will live or die and how stressfull it is, but they often times tend to lose themselves in God like euphoria

[adam_epp]

Hmm, most of the doctors I've been to are all right...though, I can't say the same about med students, ha! For whatever reason, people turn into elitists if they ever manage to get into med school.

Yes, Unohana's teh awesome, and also overlooked. However, she doesn't really appear in my story a whole lot (aside from this scene), so I wanted to try to make her a little memorable here. I kind of took (another) writing detour from my long story, but it'll be posted...uh, some time. On the other hand, I have some other stories (one of which is pr0n), pretty much ready to go. Hey.

And I'm glad you enjoyed reading this!

[karenai]

LET THIS HAPPEN IN THE MANGA.

[adam_epp]

Hey, it could happen. I predicted a while ago that Unohana might show up to fight Yammy when I also predicted that Hitsugaya would defeat Halibel...it seems my second prediction may very well come true, since Hitsugaya can hax his way out of being split in two.