I won't believe that what I see is all the world has got for me

[actourdreams]

I picked up the current issue of Bitch magazine (one of my favorite things in the 'verse), and there was a rather interesting article about the declining use of the word "lesbian." Basically, they noted that fewer and fewer young people are identifying by it, instead using gay or queer. I had gotten this impression, but wasn't entirely sure - my

Comments

[3rdragon]

*hug*

Your discussion of queer vs. gay vs. lesbian makes me think of talks I've had with some of the Haydenville Congregational Church folks. The pastor (a woman my mother's age, or a little older), has been told by her sister (who identifies as a lesbian) that she, as a straight woman, is not allowed to say the word queer. And in the Gay-Day service, she won't say it. Which drives a bunch of the young adults I hang out with absolutely crazy, because it's how they identify, and they keep going, "Andrea, if you don't say it, we can't stand up." I think that one's a generational thing.

[actourdreams]

It's *definitely* got a huge generational component, I think because a fewer number of people around our age grew up hearing it as an epithet, whereas most older people did. Also, the N Word Privileges (so to speak) thing drives me batty. If the person is saying it in a positive or accurate way, I see no problem with a straight person saying queer. (Now, fag or dyke I would have a problem with... but I don't particularly like queer people using it, either).

[aamcnamara]

'Lesbian' v. 'gay': yes. About the only noun I'll use to describe myself is "writer", because--well, I am. (And I also don't like how the word "lesbian" sounds when most people say it, but that is ancillary.)

[actourdreams]

Yes, me too. Or "woman," if I am in a political situation, and pressed.

[sinneahtes]

I want to throw my lot in with the transfolk and the genderqueer folk and the asexuals.

Reading that actually made me feel kind of warm and fuzzy. ^_^

I see what you mean about gay vs. lesbian, too. With too many of the contexts I hear "lesbian" in, the word sounds more like it describes a prop or an object than a person, and lately I've been kind of sticking in my mind that a phrase like "the gays" sounds more offensive (even if you're not speaking of them like they're some sort of pest problem) than "the lesbians." I can see the points about "queer" vs. "GLBT," as well.

I'm becoming increasingly certain that I'm one of Those People who's plenty smart but never pulls through and does the work.

Oh man, story of my life! It sucks because in theory, I have no reason to believe I'm incapable of doing something and I even want to and plan to do it on a good schedule (so it seems like a waste of time to seek out any "extra help" or "reasonable accommodations" on time), but... then I don't do it, except at the last minute, and even

[actourdreams]

Aw, I'm glad to have spread the warm fuzzies!

Oh goodness, "the gays" is deader than disco, or at least should be. There was one cringe-worthy incident where LOGO hosted a presidential candidates' debate (2008) and one of the Democratic candidates kept using that term. Guess who DIDN'T get their vote. :P

It's... actually really nice to hear from someone else who's in a similar predicament and isn't... I dunno, the stereotype of the aforementioned That Student. And, I totally know what you mean about planning and scheduling and accommodations! Well, I have this problem whereby if I slip up on my schedule I then go "That's it, nothing's gonna work!" and abandon it, but I suppose that may be part of the larger problem. The thing is, so far, if I do the work I will pull through okay... I'm just afraid of getting to the point where that won't be the case anymore

[sinneahtes]

Ouch. >_< I think I was watching some clips from the series, "That's Gay" (from Infomania) when I wrote that comment, and the writer/host had been talking about his inspiration for making the series partly being TV personalities talking about "the gays" on their TV shows. My mouth was kind of hanging open when they showed clips of examples ("I love the gays! Are you a top or a bottom?"). Good gravy.

I'm bad with interpreting minor setbacks as damning evidence that something won't work, too, and, "What would I do if I did manage to concentrate properly and put the effort in... and still failed?" is a thought that constantly haunts me, ugh

[inkyumbrella]

I definitely agree about lesbian=noun vs. gay=adjective. I'd much rather use an adjective, for...exactly the same reason.

And, also, it may not be a popular opinion, but...I also find the idea that sexual preference is NOT something that is fluid to be...silly. Pretty much everything else about a human being is; why...not that?
So yeah, I'm in total agreement there, too.

I'm sorry that your poetry class is not going well, darling. I hope everything with school and GED and whatnot goes well and you figure everything out there. Er, like. Make progress on getting figuring everything out. ♥

Also, I will try to catch you online sometime tonight or tomorrow.

[actourdreams]

I think it's mostly an unpopular opinion because a lot of queer people have heard some version of "It's just a phase/You'll change eventually," and are edgy about anything that sounds like that.