SG-1 ficlet: the selves we had to be
Title: the selves we had to be
Author: abyssinia4077
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Characters: Sam Carter, Daniel Jackson
Rating/Warning PG, character death, spoilers for season 9 & 10 big bad
Disclaimer: The Stargate universe and characters belong to MGM and many others, none of whom are me.
Word Count: 862
Author's note: Written for the Reunion Challenge run by thassalia for the prompt: Stargate SG-1, Sam and Daniel, Thanks, Robert Frost
Summary: "Come with me, Sam," Daniel says, holding out his hand. "Once more unto the breach."
Do you have hope for the future?
someone asked Robert Frost, toward the end.
Yes, and even for the past, he replied,
that it will turn out to have been all right
for what it was, something we can accept,
mistakes made by the selves we had to be,
not able to be, perhaps, what we wished,
or what looking back half the time it seems
we could so easily have been, or ought…
The future, yes, and even for the past,
that it will become something we can bear.
And I too, and my children, so I hope,
will recall as not too heavy the tug
of those albatrosses I sadly placed
upon their tender necks. Hope for the past,
yes, old Frost, your words provide that courage,
and it brings strange peace that itself passes
into past, easier to bear because
you said it, rather casually, as snow
went on falling in Vermont years ago.
- David Ray (Thanks, Robert Frost)
It takes Sam ten years to find Daniel. Ten years after the leaders of every country on Earth fell to their knees as one and a chorus of "hallowed be the Ori" emanated from their lips. Nine years and 362 days after the Priors claimed Vala for the Ori. Nine years and 360 days after Daniel walked up the ramp in the gateroom and stepped through the event horizon, never looking back. Nine years and 340 days after Teal'c went through the 'gate to re-unite any refugee Jaffa scattered across the galaxy. Nine years and 250 days after Colonel Mitchell and General O'Neill were burned for crimes against the gods. Nine years after Sam let the lie of fealty escape her lips one last time before the Asgard transporter beam stole her away.
Eight years after Sam helped the Asgard and got a private ship in return. Seven years after she searched Atlantis but found neither Daniel nor hope. Six years after she visited Ernest Littlefield's old planet to find the meeting room dark and dead. Five years after she skimmed past the lifeless ruins of Abydos. Four years after she watched the people of the Land of Light gasp final breaths at a Prior's feet. Three years after she was sickened by the religious zeal of the Rand Protectorate - worship for the ring of Avidan easily morphed into worship of the Ori. Two years after the last of the Jaffa died helping her find an Ancient weapon. One year after she almost dared to believe.
Daniel stands at the crest of a hill, sandals on his feet and robes blowing in the wind. She almost doesn't recognize him without his glasses, without the muscle he'd acquired in the years she knew him.
"I'm creating an army." She approaches him from behind and he speaks in an old, hollow voice without turning to see who she is. "If a man is not willing to risk drowning, he should keep both feet on the shore."
"An army?" Sam asks. She's spent ten lonely years seeking out her last remaining team member and now fears he may be just as lost.
"The Ancients won't do it," Daniel tells her, speaking to the sky ahead of them - all sunset and angry storm clouds. "Where one refuses to fight, another must take his place."
Daniel points to a stone structure in the distance. Sam steps up to just behind his right shoulder and gapes at the imposing structure - part castle, part monastery, part fortified city. Figures scurry between buildings like ants.
"All roads lead to the great path," Daniel says. "Some need guidance to find it."
"You're teaching them how to ascend," Sam whispers in the shock of understanding. "Raising an army against the Ori."
Daniel nods and turns to face her - sunken eyes and hollow cheeks. "You always were quick, Sam."
"Won't the ascended Ancients stop you?"
Daniel shakes his head. "The forest may complain, but it knows the oncoming storm is necessary for life."
Sam looks back to where her Asgard ship is parked, on this planet with a buried 'gate. The cloak hides it among the trees and she can no longer stand the thought of another minute with only the computer for company.
She thinks of the Ancient weapon onboard, the one that could obliterate the higher plane, obliterate the past and the need for Daniel to become what he shouldn't be - a general raising an otherworldly army. The weapon that would let them try again to not repeat the mistakes of the past. She questions if arming it would be the biggest mistake of them all.
"Don't use it," Daniel tells her. She wonders how much of her mind he can read, how close he is to ascending again himself. She wonders if, hidden in that city of stone, there is a machine that re-writes DNA. She wonders what it would feel like.
"The past is the past and we pay the price for our mistakes," Daniel continues. "It is only in accepting them that we can learn and move on. But I will not allow the future to pay for mine."
Ahead of them lightning rips the sky in two, seconds before thunder shakes the ground beneath their feet. A single drop of rain hits Sam's forehead with the heavy promise of more to come.
"Come with me, Sam," Daniel says, holding out his hand. "Once more unto the breach."
Sam considers for a minute, thinking about the universe stretching around her, the infinite places she could go that the Ori have not yet stained, thinking of the past she cannot abandon and the future she longs to save. Sam thinks about all the people she and Daniel could have been, all the places that aren't in the middle of an inter-galactic battle across planes of existence. She can almost taste the peace she'll never have and dares to hope she could offer it to the future.
It is the easiest of decisions to place her hand in Daniel's and follow him down the hill as the downpour plasters clothing to their skin. She thinks he's trying to remember how to smile.
Author: abyssinia4077
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Characters: Sam Carter, Daniel Jackson
Rating/Warning PG, character death, spoilers for season 9 & 10 big bad
Disclaimer: The Stargate universe and characters belong to MGM and many others, none of whom are me.
Word Count: 862
Author's note: Written for the Reunion Challenge run by thassalia for the prompt: Stargate SG-1, Sam and Daniel, Thanks, Robert Frost
Summary: "Come with me, Sam," Daniel says, holding out his hand. "Once more unto the breach."
Do you have hope for the future?
someone asked Robert Frost, toward the end.
Yes, and even for the past, he replied,
that it will turn out to have been all right
for what it was, something we can accept,
mistakes made by the selves we had to be,
not able to be, perhaps, what we wished,
or what looking back half the time it seems
we could so easily have been, or ought…
The future, yes, and even for the past,
that it will become something we can bear.
And I too, and my children, so I hope,
will recall as not too heavy the tug
of those albatrosses I sadly placed
upon their tender necks. Hope for the past,
yes, old Frost, your words provide that courage,
and it brings strange peace that itself passes
into past, easier to bear because
you said it, rather casually, as snow
went on falling in Vermont years ago.
- David Ray (Thanks, Robert Frost)
It takes Sam ten years to find Daniel. Ten years after the leaders of every country on Earth fell to their knees as one and a chorus of "hallowed be the Ori" emanated from their lips. Nine years and 362 days after the Priors claimed Vala for the Ori. Nine years and 360 days after Daniel walked up the ramp in the gateroom and stepped through the event horizon, never looking back. Nine years and 340 days after Teal'c went through the 'gate to re-unite any refugee Jaffa scattered across the galaxy. Nine years and 250 days after Colonel Mitchell and General O'Neill were burned for crimes against the gods. Nine years after Sam let the lie of fealty escape her lips one last time before the Asgard transporter beam stole her away.
Eight years after Sam helped the Asgard and got a private ship in return. Seven years after she searched Atlantis but found neither Daniel nor hope. Six years after she visited Ernest Littlefield's old planet to find the meeting room dark and dead. Five years after she skimmed past the lifeless ruins of Abydos. Four years after she watched the people of the Land of Light gasp final breaths at a Prior's feet. Three years after she was sickened by the religious zeal of the Rand Protectorate - worship for the ring of Avidan easily morphed into worship of the Ori. Two years after the last of the Jaffa died helping her find an Ancient weapon. One year after she almost dared to believe.
Daniel stands at the crest of a hill, sandals on his feet and robes blowing in the wind. She almost doesn't recognize him without his glasses, without the muscle he'd acquired in the years she knew him.
"I'm creating an army." She approaches him from behind and he speaks in an old, hollow voice without turning to see who she is. "If a man is not willing to risk drowning, he should keep both feet on the shore."
"An army?" Sam asks. She's spent ten lonely years seeking out her last remaining team member and now fears he may be just as lost.
"The Ancients won't do it," Daniel tells her, speaking to the sky ahead of them - all sunset and angry storm clouds. "Where one refuses to fight, another must take his place."
Daniel points to a stone structure in the distance. Sam steps up to just behind his right shoulder and gapes at the imposing structure - part castle, part monastery, part fortified city. Figures scurry between buildings like ants.
"All roads lead to the great path," Daniel says. "Some need guidance to find it."
"You're teaching them how to ascend," Sam whispers in the shock of understanding. "Raising an army against the Ori."
Daniel nods and turns to face her - sunken eyes and hollow cheeks. "You always were quick, Sam."
"Won't the ascended Ancients stop you?"
Daniel shakes his head. "The forest may complain, but it knows the oncoming storm is necessary for life."
Sam looks back to where her Asgard ship is parked, on this planet with a buried 'gate. The cloak hides it among the trees and she can no longer stand the thought of another minute with only the computer for company.
She thinks of the Ancient weapon onboard, the one that could obliterate the higher plane, obliterate the past and the need for Daniel to become what he shouldn't be - a general raising an otherworldly army. The weapon that would let them try again to not repeat the mistakes of the past. She questions if arming it would be the biggest mistake of them all.
"Don't use it," Daniel tells her. She wonders how much of her mind he can read, how close he is to ascending again himself. She wonders if, hidden in that city of stone, there is a machine that re-writes DNA. She wonders what it would feel like.
"The past is the past and we pay the price for our mistakes," Daniel continues. "It is only in accepting them that we can learn and move on. But I will not allow the future to pay for mine."
Ahead of them lightning rips the sky in two, seconds before thunder shakes the ground beneath their feet. A single drop of rain hits Sam's forehead with the heavy promise of more to come.
"Come with me, Sam," Daniel says, holding out his hand. "Once more unto the breach."
Sam considers for a minute, thinking about the universe stretching around her, the infinite places she could go that the Ori have not yet stained, thinking of the past she cannot abandon and the future she longs to save. Sam thinks about all the people she and Daniel could have been, all the places that aren't in the middle of an inter-galactic battle across planes of existence. She can almost taste the peace she'll never have and dares to hope she could offer it to the future.
It is the easiest of decisions to place her hand in Daniel's and follow him down the hill as the downpour plasters clothing to their skin. She thinks he's trying to remember how to smile.