New; Crime & Punishment Challenge

[kayki2487]

Where is she?

Why won't she come to us?

There is barely any of Damian left in this horrible shell of a corpse.  Just enough presence of mind left to know that she left.

Deserted us.

She's punishing us.  We must have done something wrong.

But we would do anything for her.

We would die a true death for her.  End

Comments

[mlady_rebecca]

Very nice. Great imagery.

One question: Why "us" and "we" instead of "me" and "I"?

[grrarrg0908]

Hi and welcome!!

Very nice imagery of Damien!! xxx

[kayki2487]

Thank you!

Truthfully, that's just the way I wrote it at first, with the "us" and "we". Also I think at this time I always pictured Damian as if he didn't have any control over his actions. As if the insanity he was feeling was almost like and entity unto itself that was controlling what he did, while all the real Damian could do was watch. Almost like there were two beings inside his body. I guess thats why the "we" and stuff. I dunno if anyone else saw it that way... maybe i'm just crazy? *shrugs*

Anyways, thanks again for commenting! I really appreciate it!

[ashersembrace]

I see where you were coming from with the we instead of I he was totally lost out of his mind when Anita left him. Great Job.

[mlady_rebecca]

That's cool. Sort of like how the lycanthropes see their beast as a separate entity. I like it.

[mhalachaiswords]

Ooh, I likes. I've always found Damien one of the harder characters to write, but you've nailed it here. Welcome to the community!

[psycobabbler]

wow, i love it. good work.