He hadn't planned for the wariness. Hadn't expected the hardness and caution and suspicion that lingered in cold blue eyes. Hadn't anticipated the way Peter backed away as he approached, backed right up against the wall and then, jaw clenched, ducked out the window.
*freezes* OKAY, PETER, YOU'RE SO GETTING IT FROM ME. *WRITES INTOLERABLE FLUFF*
*SOBS* OH MY GOD, CAN I CRY ALL OVER THIS FIC?
You wrote, earlier: The fluffy ending was actually the first ending I wrote, but then I was dissatisfied, so I tried writing the original ending to see how it worked. I sort of liked it better, and Janice liked it better too, but I knew you'd probably prefer fluff (especially as it's supposed to be a birthday fic), so I tweaked the fluffy ending so that I was less dissatisfied. And, voila!
AND YOU KNOW - I'M UTTERLY TORN. Because I can completely see this fic happening. You know I love the first ending, but this ending, it makes sense to me, too. AND CRIES. I love this ending. I do. ohmygodsob I even like it better than the first ending,
( ... )
YES. I hated myself for writing this ending because I was aiming for fluff from the beginning, dammit, and I still couldn't write a good fluff ending. *is disgusted with self*
both versions of this story
*is undeserving* I sort of think the repetition is possibly a bit too much for this version? And the last line in the fluff version is cute, but that's about it.
cold blue eyes Ow. That hurt. I never thought to hear Peter's eyes described like that, and I'm glad you did it. Although, thinking of it, now, I'm beginning to think that this must have been the way he looked during the "There are bigger things happening here than me and you" scene. Thank you for making me look at Peter in a new way. It's always good to see this side of him, because it's there. He can be cold, and he can be like this, and I'm really, really glad that you wrote this side of him. *hugs you* I don't see him this way, and I'm glad you make me see him this way, because it is the way he is. (That's why I write emotional! fic the way I do - I think there's too much fanon to what I write, and I write, for most part, what I want to see, as opposed to what I know should happen. Then again, the What I Know Should Happen part of me tells me that Harry/Peter would never happen)
Hadn't anticipated the way Peter backed away as he approached, backed right up against the wallI
( ... )
It's odd, I know, but I've never thought of Peter as a particular warm person. I think it's a result of his social ineptitude - he just doesn't know, to a certain extent, how to be caring and how to express his feelings. I definitely see Harry as the more dominant one, the one with more initiative and with more drive to get what he wants. And I think Harry would be less afraid to express his emotions.
the pizza place
In my head, this actually takes place in Pete's apartment. Actually, the line "backed right up against the wall" happens in my head with Pete literally climbing up the wall with his Spidey powers, because I have this feelings that he instinctively turns to his powers whenever he's distressed. And then he ducks out of the window (again with his powers) and just escapes the scene, because he's just incapable of dealing with the situation. The Peter in this fic is a horrible, horrible jerk, I know. *smiles sheepishly*
Peter as one of the reasons behind why Harry makes the choice he didI've always thought
( ... )
Easier, at least And then you qualify his statement of "It was easy after that" with this. PRICELESS. *HUGS YOU*
And this paragraph: It was easy after that. Easier, at least, when he went back to work and faced pages and pages of reports, a series of white labcoats parading past him. He wasn't blind; he could see how they smirked at him, an ignorant little boy playing with weapons and technology, and there was a voice in his head, malicious as it urged him to work, to excel, to become even better than his father.
The entire fic turns on this paragraph. It is such a pivotal turning point, and I love it. This is Harry's new purpose, and it's giving him a reason to do all the things he didn't have the heart for before. It's giving him a reason for being. I just adore this entire paragraph. And I love the way your writing makes me think, and I fall in love with lines, and then I sit here trying to figure out why I love them so much, what makes me love them so much, so that I can tell you all the reasons. *grin* And the amazing thing
( ... )
There is no plot. And not much character, either, because I feel like I say so little, and whatever I do say is so superficial and unimportant. I really doubt my characterisation sometimes - I stopped in the middle of this fic, and started questioning my Harry something fierce because I just got the feeling that I got him so wrong.
MINE! BY comparison! Is such a wuss.
But I like your Harry. He's so wounded, and I can absolutely imagine a Harry like that. I think I overestimate Harry, sometimes - I have so much faith in him, and sometimes, I begin thinking that it's misplaced. It's always an ongoing argument for me, his strength and how much he can take before he crumbles. (I think I torture him more just to experiment. *grins*)
I have things to say about this fic but I'm at work at the moment~ @_@ I'll let you in on one thing first: It's brilliant the way you tied it to the movie without letting the movie take over the whole fic. <3
Comments 7
*freezes* OKAY, PETER, YOU'RE SO GETTING IT FROM ME. *WRITES INTOLERABLE FLUFF*
*SOBS* OH MY GOD, CAN I CRY ALL OVER THIS FIC?
You wrote, earlier: The fluffy ending was actually the first ending I wrote, but then I was dissatisfied, so I tried writing the original ending to see how it worked. I sort of liked it better, and Janice liked it better too, but I knew you'd probably prefer fluff (especially as it's supposed to be a birthday fic), so I tweaked the fluffy ending so that I was less dissatisfied. And, voila!
AND YOU KNOW - I'M UTTERLY TORN. Because I can completely see this fic happening. You know I love the first ending, but this ending, it makes sense to me, too. AND CRIES. I love this ending. I do. ohmygodsob I even like it better than the first ending, ( ... )
Reply
OMGPLZDO.
I HATE MYSELF FOR EVEN LIKING THIS ENDING MORE.
YES. I hated myself for writing this ending because I was aiming for fluff from the beginning, dammit, and I still couldn't write a good fluff ending. *is disgusted with self*
both versions of this story
*is undeserving* I sort of think the repetition is possibly a bit too much for this version? And the last line in the fluff version is cute, but that's about it.
I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET THIS.
OH YES.
Reply
cold blue eyes
Ow. That hurt. I never thought to hear Peter's eyes described like that, and I'm glad you did it. Although, thinking of it, now, I'm beginning to think that this must have been the way he looked during the "There are bigger things happening here than me and you" scene. Thank you for making me look at Peter in a new way. It's always good to see this side of him, because it's there. He can be cold, and he can be like this, and I'm really, really glad that you wrote this side of him. *hugs you* I don't see him this way, and I'm glad you make me see him this way, because it is the way he is. (That's why I write emotional! fic the way I do - I think there's too much fanon to what I write, and I write, for most part, what I want to see, as opposed to what I know should happen. Then again, the What I Know Should Happen part of me tells me that Harry/Peter would never happen)
Hadn't anticipated the way Peter backed away as he approached, backed right up against the wallI ( ... )
Reply
It's odd, I know, but I've never thought of Peter as a particular warm person. I think it's a result of his social ineptitude - he just doesn't know, to a certain extent, how to be caring and how to express his feelings. I definitely see Harry as the more dominant one, the one with more initiative and with more drive to get what he wants. And I think Harry would be less afraid to express his emotions.
the pizza place
In my head, this actually takes place in Pete's apartment. Actually, the line "backed right up against the wall" happens in my head with Pete literally climbing up the wall with his Spidey powers, because I have this feelings that he instinctively turns to his powers whenever he's distressed. And then he ducks out of the window (again with his powers) and just escapes the scene, because he's just incapable of dealing with the situation. The Peter in this fic is a horrible, horrible jerk, I know. *smiles sheepishly*
Peter as one of the reasons behind why Harry makes the choice he didI've always thought ( ... )
Reply
And then you qualify his statement of "It was easy after that" with this. PRICELESS. *HUGS YOU*
And this paragraph: It was easy after that. Easier, at least, when he went back to work and faced pages and pages of reports, a series of white labcoats parading past him. He wasn't blind; he could see how they smirked at him, an ignorant little boy playing with weapons and technology, and there was a voice in his head, malicious as it urged him to work, to excel, to become even better than his father.
The entire fic turns on this paragraph. It is such a pivotal turning point, and I love it. This is Harry's new purpose, and it's giving him a reason to do all the things he didn't have the heart for before. It's giving him a reason for being. I just adore this entire paragraph. And I love the way your writing makes me think, and I fall in love with lines, and then I sit here trying to figure out why I love them so much, what makes me love them so much, so that I can tell you all the reasons. *grin* And the amazing thing ( ... )
Reply
There is no plot. And not much character, either, because I feel like I say so little, and whatever I do say is so superficial and unimportant. I really doubt my characterisation sometimes - I stopped in the middle of this fic, and started questioning my Harry something fierce because I just got the feeling that I got him so wrong.
MINE! BY comparison! Is such a wuss.
But I like your Harry. He's so wounded, and I can absolutely imagine a Harry like that. I think I overestimate Harry, sometimes - I have so much faith in him, and sometimes, I begin thinking that it's misplaced. It's always an ongoing argument for me, his strength and how much he can take before he crumbles. (I think I torture him more just to experiment. *grins*)
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