confused

Feb 23, 2006 22:16

I had an abortion about a year ago, My boyfriend and I decided it was best because of our money situation and we where totally un-prepared ( Read more... )

problems with significant others, relationship effects

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Comments 3

laura_leviathan February 24 2006, 15:01:25 UTC
i'm sorry you felt pressured. when i made the decision, i made it alone. i did not consult my boyfriend because i did not (and still don't) think that it was his choice to make. my body, my life, my decision. anyway, have you talked to your bf about this? i know it may be hard, but for me, just venting helps, and if he loves you, he'll listen. and it may help clear up some of the doubts you're having. i suggest, however, that before you come to terms with how your boyfriend is feeling (whether or not he made the decision because of you, etc.), come to terms with how YOU are feeling.

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eyelid February 24 2006, 16:31:04 UTC
It was wrong of your boyfriend to pressure you, and it's no wonder that such pressure put a strain on your relationship. He should have respected that it is your decision. Sometimes loved ones don't fully realize what they are doing when they pressure a woman regarding an unplanned pregnancy decision, but it's almost always harmful to the relationship.

I definitely agree with the above commenter that it would be a good idea to talk to your bf about this. You have a lot of feelings to talk out. It sounds to me like you feel alienated from him because of how he acted. he needs to understand how you feel, to reassure you, and to know that it's not ok and he shouldn't do it again.

sometimes I have these aweful thoughts that if it was anybody but me he would have chosen diffrent.

I'm sure that's not true! It sounds to me like he was just scared of the situation, and he would have been as scared with anyone.

Does anyone else feel like this? I haven't had that experience but I've heard from a lot of women who have been ( ... )

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heartbreakstory February 26 2006, 03:02:47 UTC
I got pregnant a few years ago. My boyfriend kept saying abortion, abortion, abortion. I discussed all three choices with him, keeping it, abortion, and adoption. We sat down and had a long talk and he talked about his feelings about keeping it, and about his feelings about having an abortion. He didn't even talk about adoption at all. Finally I just sat him down and asked directly his opinion on adoption and he said he would never go along with it. I had an abortion after that and I felt the same way as you, like I was pushed to have an abortion , that maybe if he would have agreed to adoption, things would have been different. After my abortion, everything ran through my mind. I thought maybe he didn't care about me, maybe he just wanted me to not be pregnant anymore so he could get up & leave, I thought maybe if I was somebody else he would have wanted something different. I though all kind of weird crazy things. But now that I think of it I'm glad I had the abortion, and i'm not sorry. Our lives weren't ready at the point, his or ( ... )

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