[Video] What the frag is this thing?

[dontasktrix]

[Slipstream is broadcasting from one of District One's nondescript office spaces. The lighting is unflattering, and her wingtips nearly touch the drop ceiling. She holds in her talons a hoopak: something like a combination walking stick and slingshot. There's a small sales tag hanging from the stick.]Let's say I seem to have come into possession of

Comments

[stand_witness]

[ text; Decepticon encryption ( unless otherwise stated ) ]

[ Shilling divining rods, Slipstream? Really? Soundwave might actually be amused. ]

Star alignments unknown
Weapon capabilities; low
Preliminary analysis; useful for maintaining open flame heat source

[dontasktrix]

[Totally encrypted.]

[She laughs at this.] But, there are much more flammable substances to be found! And, star alignments being unknown is all the more reason to track their positions. [Of course, she can do that as easily analyzing her own optical input.]

Why not get something I might like in exchange for something another may want? [The concept of which Soundwave must understand, because that's basically their whole relationship.]

[stand_witness]

[ All the encryptions~ ]

[ He does quite well, yes. But you wanted to know about his humor, Slipstream, and it's a very odd, dry sort of sarcasm. ]

Sound reasoning
Star alignments better documented through personal scanning equipment

Primitive wooden lever tool, ID;

[ And switching quickly to Slipstream's voice ]

"Hoopak of Tasslehoff Burrfoot"

[ And back again to text ]

Sentimental value held only for owner
Suggested inquiry; reasons for using primitive wooden lever for star chart creation

[ Because while Soundwave is scoffing mightily at the idea of using a dirty old stick to map the stars, he's not Head of Navigation for nothing. ]

[dontasktrix]

Price does usually go up if multiple parties are interested. [Like, the bounty on Starscream when the E.G. and Megatron both were after him.]

And some of those pointy-eared aliens were interested in the stars. [She isn't sure the Elves in Abax aren't actually some fictional, dispassionate, space-faring species.]

And humans like pointless games and sports they can play in an office! [So there! She's thought this out.]

[text; encrypted]

[notglitching]

[Wow. Rinzler's never seen a cybertronian trying something quite so... pathetic.]

Suggest reassessment of standards: 'useful', 'functional'.

[And since he's creeped on seen this mech on the network before, but never queried...]

Confirm: cybertronian?
Clarify: designation, function, faction alignment?

[dontasktrix]

[video from her; all the Decepticon encryptions]

It'll be useful and functional, if others didn't insult the 'up-selling' here! For all you know, I could have experience in marketing!

No! I just wear Decepticon brands as a fraggin' fashion statement! You may address me as Sub-Commander or Slipstream.

[notglitching]

[Welp. Those are familiar encryption types...]

Experience: failure?

Clarify function, mech. [Address you as what? B) ]

[o_is_this_yours]

[Video]

Oh, oh! That's mine! That's me- Tasslehoff Burrfoot!

[The kender bounces up and down excitedly as he speaks, as can be told by the erratically shifting scenery behind him.]

I've heard the city sometimes gets things that belong to others, but I wasn't quite sure how it worked! -Also, what are you? I've never seen anything like you before?