Like a new person!

[aadroma]

As I've stated before, I've, over the last year and a half, added about thirty pounds and have been very strict to a lifting regimen at my gym. I've gotten some unique responses from people. During Bear Pride, for example, I remember dancing with my shirt off and having two of my friends staring blankly at me, confused as to when I got something

Comments

[muckefuck]

This is the kind of thing that makes great pillow talk.

[maxauburn]

Hmmm... in a way, I understand this, what you are going through.

It would depend on the individual whom you'd been originally rejected by: Was he nice? Did he reject you in a humane manner, or was he mean about it?

If a man who'd originally rejected you because it was before you'd bulked up had been nice about it, I might consider - if I were in your place - pursuing a friendship
with such a man.

If a man had not been so nice about it, then, no; you don't need such a person in your life.

I realize that you already knew this, I just wanted to be suportive.

Also: If a man who was an asshole about rejecting me in the past, and then contacted
me later? I would be a dick with him. I would enjoy doing that to someone who'd rejected me in a harsh way. It's part and parcel of maintaining one's self-respect.

[muckefuck]

Can you explain how maintaining one's self-respect mandates acting like a dick? I lose respect for myself every time I do this. What am I doing wrong?

[maxauburn]

Well, it's kinda hard to explain, but, for me? Acting like a dick with someone means simply not giving them what they want.

If the person was really mean with me, then I ignore them. I used to break guilt-o-meters ignoring someone, even when they were an asshole, but not anymore.

In person, I live in a really bad neighborhood. I used to insult back when the kids here would call me "Faggot", but then, I finally learned it hurts them a LOT more when I ignore them - or laugh at their childish insults.

It took me YEARS to get to that point, having been abused badly at home when I was a kid at home. I was "trained" not to even try to fight back, and that I had better just take it.

I, too, feel bad if I just say or do something outright mean to someone who hurts me - but, as Obi Wan said in STAR WARS, "There are alternatives to fighting."

[dorisduke]

I assume it would depend on if your feelings were hurt and want to get back at them or not. If you think this would do you good, go for it.

Now how would I respond. I would realize that we all find different things attractive and that attractions can be made with difference in you. It was obviously physical the disattraction and attraction, it had nothing to do with the real or complete you. So if you find the guy attractive and he now finds you attractive what harm can be done in getting to know him. But keep in mind that if he was less than kind it may be his standard rather than the exception. If he just ignored you well many folks have no idea how to say in kindness no thank you.

[bloody___riot]

I'd blow them off. Then again, I'm the type to live my life "you reap what you sow."

[bluebear2]

Maybe I'm weird but I don't see anything wrong with showing lack of interest in someone when it's a situation where all you have to go on is an image. Of course they won't know the person inside. It doesn't make them bad or anything. Now that you've changed and you're within his tastes of course he's going to notice and respond.
If you got snarky in a revenge way it'll just make you look childish and not nice on the inside.