I've never experienced this before. When I talk to my dad on the phone, I can feel he is truly proud of me. He is beaming. It hasn't been the smoothest ride, but we made it. An end to justify the means. I did something right, something he wanted so bad. I can support myself independent of any man resembling my bastard grandfather. And hearing how ( Read more... )

Well Easter was a bit of a disaster. My 45 year old cousin Rob decided to have a thinly-masked temper tantrum and personally attack his older sister for over an hour about her parenting techniques. I'm talking a full-fledged screaming match in the middle in the backyard. It started as more of a discussion involving 5 to 10 family members before Rob ( Read more... )

I already feel behind in my classes. Some professors like to follow that old cliche and hit the ground running by assigning things like homework on the first day. My professors for audit and tax seem to expect a full fledged sprint by assigning group projects, a huge individual project worth 30% of my grade, and quizzes on the first day. Not to ( Read more... )

Thinking and more thinking. Mostly about "success" and what it means to me and what it means to the people around me. Cultural differences, generation gaps, and time connotations. How American culture is so individualistic and competitive; a you versus me and us versus them kind of ideology. I used to really like capitalism, but now I'm not sure. ( Read more... )

sometimes I forget about how much history I have in this thing ( Read more... )

This week is going to be one of the most stressful I've ever had. I'm starting to get nervous. On top of my normal class schedule, I have the following events ( Read more... )

I mainly use this journal to complain. I want to take a different approach right now ( Read more... )

Being in the business school, you're expected to start applying and interviewing for "real" jobs before you graduate. In a better economy this would be much easier. Officially I have applied for two positions thus far and have compiled a long list of companies that will be visiting campus in the next few weeks. It comes as no great surprise that as ( Read more... )

I want to leave, but frankly I have no where to go. people keep asking me if I am okay and I say yes, but I'm really saying no. I've cried every day for the past week. I fucked everything up with the only person who can get me through the school year. yeah we're "fine", but "fine" doesn't cover the suffocating amount of anxiety I feel when I come ( Read more... )

I think my depression is tied to East Lansing. not happy to be here nor am I excited for classes. at least it's my last year? I am not ready for this at all.