No reply. Sends a clear enough message. I understand, and I will force myself to accept your decision, your silent...what? Disapproval? Rejection? Disagreement? It does not matter. I now resign myself to the inevitable chore now facing me: moving on, getting over you, much in the same way I am painfully attempting to detach myself from ( Read more... )

Maybe it's just that I don't want to let go. I cannot. I remember your pleas and now I return them to you, like gifts unwrapped, gazed upon, re-wrapped and regifted, back to square one, but please now let's turn a square. I daresay that all this amounts to just one simple and impossible-to-ignore fact, something plain and bare and raw and true, ( Read more... )

I juggled plates, lacked the talent to make them spin like my head. I want alcohol and Jason and neither are available so then I begin to wonder, uneasily, knowing that in my head I am already opening the bottle and pouring the first drink, toasting to the frigid air that cools the hot tears streaming down my cheeks...I begin to wonder which is ( Read more... )

Still swallowing and breathing and existing puzzle me entirely and I furrow my brow in consternation and wonder what it is I am doing on this earth, and I glance at the stick I clutch with an unconsciously firm grip in my hand, my pencil in the sand, and I'm carving your name and making the beach scream out, silent but glaring, all the misery that ( Read more... )

I am smart and also clairvoyant. You have cut us in half and I am the one tumbling down the hill, haphazardly if I say so mystupidself. I had faith and then it was ripped from me like a Band-Aid and my skin is red and raw and itchy and I scream. This is okay, too. I love you and that is a constant, but my moods are as inconsistent and changing ( Read more... )

[Presumptuous predictions ( Read more... )

Not jealousy or some teenage angst that, tardy though it is, insists upon asserting itself in the cold cavity of her emptied-vessel chest. Treasure not to be found, gold never to glint, to the murky bottom our unelegant diver sinks, letting the airtank and the mask and the flippers free to flit to the surface, leaving behind a resigned mistress ( Read more... )

Skeptical I am of your motives and the words that formed like oil slicks, dripping as the raw material, the crude oil, from your car-salesman mouth, the words that pooled inside my ear which to those lips drew near as we lay in a convoluted slump together upon that carpet stained with the evidence of past parties smashing successes and wishes ( Read more... )

Blackberry tea and steam on a streak-free face, a window that tinted reveals nothing but a vague gloom beyond its gloss. Here seven approaches and yet I am awake, a regretful taste like tobacco and weed on my tongue and coating my throat like the syrups solidifying in the soda that chased after the rum in hot pursuit, and what a failure what a ( Read more... )

I have succumbed, again, to the pulsing anger that thickens my blood. Over and over I would like to scream it to his face. Why does he persist in so torturing me? Lies, lies, lies. Not the honest decent boy I always thought him. I do not believe a word out of his mouth. It will never happen as I had so hoped. I curl up and wait for the shoe ( Read more... )