Dec 12, 2004 18:30
[Presumptuous predictions.]
The cement, cold it is, but here I am: lay waste to me would you? A mercy kill it would be. In the end I understand how truly fatal my mistake was, and all the mistakes that followed. If I'd had in me a bit more patience wisdom and realistic vision, I might have spared us this agony but the moon, oh the moon its gravity was nigh. And who was I to turn away? To turn away would have been wise, and I am ever the village idiot.
The moon has shriveled but to a sliver of its former swollen golden face, and in uneasy darkness I crawl in the general direction of the abandoned place. I know I won't find you waiting there beside that murky pool; I know you have traveled onward with new, true companions [shutupMarkCohn].
This is why death is imminent. I will never quite catch up; your pace is purposeful in its speed. You wish to leave me far behind to drown in this past I cannot escape.
Okay.
Too late I realized that nothing matters to me except you. If I had only understood before--before I made a callous, short-sighted ass out of myself--I might have salvaged what narrow opportunity there was. Only in dreams do I make the right choice.
The vehicle veers, dives off a cliff. Explosion: white light, white heat, everything that ever mattered--shattered. For me it is not too late to die young. Throw all the vegetables away--they're probably rotten. Like myself.
Driving home the sky accelerates
And the clouds all form a geometric shape
It goes fast--think of the past
SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED.
And I have lost.
[Is it foolish to hope I might yet triumph?]