...I think some of those pirates stole my shoes. I can't find a pair of golden sandal flats in my closet. If anyone has seen those, or a silver lorgnette, please return them to me.

...Or I suppose one could go above and beyond and find a newer version of them and gift them to me. I'll even offer a reward of the finder's choosing. 

 ...I just received a letter from my mother, apparently congratulating me on...a marriage. A fictitious marriage, I hope. Possibly something wrongly interoperated from a letter I don't even think I remember sending to her; I'm not quite sure what to make of it, but I'm seriously hoping that she's exaggerating - as would be much more normal and ( Read more... )