[Fic - Yullen Week - Day 4] Strikes of Waves
Title: Strikes of Waves
Author: a1y-puff
Fandom: D. Gray-Man
Pairing: DUH. Yullen Week anyone? :/
Genre: Daily-life-ish/humor and now with tiny bits of angst. Yay?
Summary: It had started with mere curiosity. Without thinking much, Allen only meant to brush the strands of hair away so Kanda wouldn’t accidentally swallow it in his sleep or something. But then it developed more than Allen would have liked.
Word Count: ~6000
Warning: AU. Possible OOC-ness, and CROSS certainly is a bad influence on Allen, I swear. :(
Disclaimer: What do you think? I don't even own a laptop *sighs*
Beta: hakasha (you are officially a new definition of awesome!)
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLEN!! Anyway I’m really sorry that this is SO late, but yeah. I’d rather be late than posting a half-assed chapter. Thank you for waiting and here, have the longest part yet full of DEVELOPMENT. Anyway, it’s getting a little serious in this part, but I do hope you’d enjoy the development. Fun? I hope so =)
Special thanks once again to hakasha, because the length of this part is totally her fault. She kept putting ideas into my head, so you beloved readers can blame her for that too XD. And she was really awesome to bear with the embarrassing amount of grammatical errors this fic originally had due to me writing it all night and into the morning. I even dozed off a few times, so. -shifty eyes- Also, thanks to pinkxpianofor giving the title :D
Previous Parts: Ephemeral Summer | Days Passing By | What's Yours is Mine
Strikes of Waves
Yullen Week Day 4
Theme: Addiction
It had started with mere curiosity.
Allen remembered it being a Thursday night-or was it Friday already? Allen couldn’t tell. All he knew was that it was such an ungodly hour at the dead of night-morning-whatever, and he was tired and extremely sleepy and he blamed the assignment again for keeping him up so late.
It was when he had finally finished said assignment, stretching his arms and twisting his back that he caught sight of-Kanda’s sleeping face.
It was nothing special, really. Kanda didn’t make weird faces or anything as he slept. It was just-he looked kind of peaceful. Kanda was lying on his back with his face turned slightly to one side-the side that was facing Allen’s bed, and Allen could see that the frown lines that usually adorned the pretty face were almost gone, and Kanda looked noticeably more relaxed.
Unconsciously, Allen stepped closer to Kanda’s bed; eyeing the older man with a curiosity he’d always ignored before it could even grow.
Now, though…
Now, Allen was wondering what could possibly be happening in Kanda’s dream-for him to look so far from intimidating, unlike when he was awake. Or what could possibly have put the permanent frown on Kanda’s pretty face outside of his sleep.
He noticed the strands of hair falling across Kanda’s face-from one side of his head, over his lips and down to his other cheek, and it would be bad if some of the hair went into his mouth and Kanda accidentally swallowed it, right?
So without thinking much, Allen bent over and carefully brushed the strands of hair out of Kanda’s face, gently, so he wouldn’t wake the man up.
Kanda muttered something incomprehensible then, as if knowing that someone was touching him in his sleep, and Allen immediately jerked his hand away as if he had been burnt. That was when he realized-what was he doing?
Shaking his head, Allen quickly retreated to his own bed, blaming his weird behavior on lack of sleep and-
And Kanda’s pretty face. Duh.
-o-O-o-
“Get the hell up, stupid.”
It was with that voice, barely reaching his ears along with all the other horrible noises shrilling in his ears, and a far-from-gentle tugging on his hand, that Allen was harshly pulled out of his sleep.
Groaning at the horrible, horrible noise-induced headache, Allen pleaded, “Turn them off, please?” and god, he just wanted to curl back up in bed. But no, the shrill noises prevented him from doing so, and Kanda’s grip on his wrist was persistent and-“Yes, yes, okay, I’m up! Turn them off, please?”
Allen felt himself being tugged up until he was sitting up on the bed, before finally, the noises died down one by one and-he really almost flopped back into bed, except that there were fingers pinching his cheek now and-“Ow! What the bloody-“
“Get. Up. It’s 7:10, you moron.”
Allen made another incomprehensible protesting noise, but he let Kanda drag him out of bed anyways. Like always. Yes, this was becoming a quite common occurrence, as Allen pulled all-nighters more often these days, and he wouldn’t get to his classes on time if Kanda didn’t drag him out of bed. Allen had the sneaking suspicion that Kanda took sadistic pleasure in abusing his ears in the morning with those horrible alarms, and surely after such effort, letting him go back to sleep would be such a waste.
That, or-Kanda actually cared that much? Allen didn’t know, and he didn’t dare ask.
As he was walking to the bathroom, Allen idly wondered how come Kanda looked so different when he was awake. Even now, he could still remember how relaxed and-dare he say it-peaceful Kanda had looked the night before-
…why was he thinking about that again?
-o-O-o-
Which was probably why, three days after that, when Kanda had gone to sleep a little earlier than usual, Allen found himself staring at Kanda’s face again.
The boy didn’t know what he was doing-or why he was doing it now. He’d gotten a glance of Kanda’s sleeping face many times before, being roommates and all. Though Allen had never particularly paid attention to the pretty face, free of frowns with the smooth, silky hair framing his face and falling around his head and onto the mattress
Allen would blame his curiosity later but he really, really wanted to-touch Kanda’s hair.
So he did. Just lightly running his fingers through the strands of raven hair, brushing it away from Kanda’s face and-he pulled back almost immediately.
Kanda didn’t budge.
Well. Allen stepped away anyway. Shaking his head, Allen went back to his homework, trying not to think of how soft Kanda’s hair had felt between his fingers.
-o-O-o-
The next time it happened was when Kanda was-sleeping in. Sort of. He’d been working on a painting for the past three days-Allen could tell from how Kanda always smelled strongly of paint when he got home, and he’d been coming home late, too.
So that weekend, Kanda skipped his morning workout in favor of making up for his lack of sleep. Allen was surprised when he found himself awake around 6.30 and Kanda was still there, on his bed, sleeping like a log.
It was a rare sight, if Allen might say so. Usually, it was Kanda who often found Allen sleeping like the dead, so.
Slowly, Allen got out of bed, stretching for a bit before going to open the curtains and feed Timcanpy and Golem. Putting back the food jar, Allen turned his head to the right, watching as Kanda shifted in his sleep and let out a sigh, turning to his side so he was now facing Allen, and-
Maybe it was the sunlight streaming in through the open window, falling partially upon Kanda’s figure, creating soft shades and defining the sharp lines of his face, emphasizing the high cheekbones and the long eyelashes and-in Allen’s eyes, he just looked really, really pretty.
And before he knew it, Allen was coming close again. A hand slowly reaching out without him even realizing it and the next second, he found the tips of his fingers tracing the shaded part of Kanda’s jaw and down and-
Allen pulled back, again. Maybe he should have been mortified at himself and his kinda-sorta-but not really molesting Kanda in his sleep but… well.
Kanda was just-beautiful, male or not, so it was normal that he’d at least be a little attracted to him, right? It wasn’t like it meant more than physical attraction anyway.
Still, it didn’t mean that he should keep doing that. Mentally smacking himself, Allen went to the showers to cool his head. He really-should stop touching Kanda while the other was sleeping.
-o-O-o-
It was Monday afternoon. Allen had just eaten his lunch in the cafeteria nearby and he was now walking with Emilia, about to go practice their piano-violin duo when the cold autumn breeze blew in front of Allen’s face, making the boy turn his head to one side. That was when his eyes caught sight of long, dark hair flowing slightly in the wind, and-“Oh, hey, BaKanda!”
His roommate turned to face him, and Allen excused himself to Emilia before lightly jogging in Kanda’s direction.
“What?” he was welcomed with an unfriendly scowl and-right. Kanda definitely looked better when he was asleep.
Allen frowned back. “Don’t forget to buy some instant noodles on your way back later. We’re running out. Oh, and some coffee, please.”
“What? Why the fuck should I-why don’t you do it?”
“Because, stupid, as I already told you this morning, I have practice with someone-which is right now, actually. You’re done with your classes, aren’t you?”
Kanda’s frown deepened. “Yes, but it doesn’t mean that I have to-“
“Oh, come on. You know I have to stay up late more often these days. I need the sustenance,” he tried a pout here, and added, “And you do too, idiot. Like I don’t know you’ve been eating the cup noodles.”
“It’s the only thing there is. You don’t even have some decent food-“
“And yet you’re eating it anyway so go buy some,” Allen demanded, then seeing the darkening scowl on Kanda’s face, he added, “Please?”
Kanda grumbled, but before he could say anything, Allen was already saying “Thank you!” and giving his shoulder a friendly smack-if a little harder than necessary-before walking back to Emilia.
The girl, though, gave Allen a look that was-“What is it-?”
“You know him?” She was now looking at Allen wide-eyed, and Allen blinked.
“Umm. I’m his roommate?” Allen offered, and-“Do you know him?” Allen asked instead, and inwardly wondered if they were acquainted, Kanda could have said hello to Emilia, the prick.
“Of course I do. Everyone would know someone with such a beautiful-“
“Oi, Moyashi!”
At the familiar voice and annoying nickname, Allen turned his head to find Kanda already grabbing his arm to halt him. Allen scowled. “The name is Allen, BaKanda. Are you so retarded that you're unable to remember my name after so long?”
“Shut up, bean sprout, what time do you finish your practice?”
Allen raised an eyebrow, then consulted his wristwatch. “Maybe around five, why?”
“You eat like a pig,” Kanda began, and Allen let out an indignant ‘hey!’ but before he could say more, Kanda added, “We’ll need to buy a lot of food for you alone. Like hell I’m going to carry all that stuff. You’re coming. Carry your own goddamn food.”
Allen was ready to complain but then-well. Fair enough. “Fine. Where do you want to meet?”
Kanda tilted his head in thought. “I’ll be in the art studio, so front gate at five. You’re late, you’re dead.” And with that Kanda was gone again without so much as an apology.
Well.
“He’s such a prick,” Allen grumbled to himself, but when he turned back to his friend, the blonde was looking at the direction Kanda had gone to with dreamy eyes. “Umm. Emilia?”
“If you were a girl, I would have killed you out of jealousy,” the girl said instead, and added, “It almost sounded like he was asking you out on a date.”
That made the boy blink. Once, twice and-he really wanted to laugh his arse off, because Kanda? Asking him on a date? It was way too absurd.
And yet his cheeks felt slightly warm.
“But really,” the girl spoke again, “This is the first time I’ve ever seen him up close. He’s so-beautiful.”
Allen quieted down at that, remembering the moments he had spent just looking at Kanda’s sleeping face and brushing his hair out of his face and-he felt like such a horrible sap, but... he couldn’t agree more.
-o-O-o-
“Remind me why we came here again?” Kanda asked with a bored face, looking around disinterestedly, taking in the small café they’d entered.
It was a cozy kind of café, with wooden furniture and homey interior. It looked and felt warm, especially when they just came in from the cool autumn breeze.
Allen put down the plastic bags containing the instant food they had bought in the nearby convenient store and looked up at Kanda. “Because it’s bloody cold out there and I’m kind of hungry?” the boy offered with ease, knowing he’d practically dragged the other in here. He shifted a little in his seat to give room to the plastic bags on the floor and-his knee knocked against Kanda. Right. Why was this table for two so small anyway?
“You’re always hungry,” the older man snorted. “Can’t wait for goddamn fifteen minutes until we reach the dorm-“
“And eat instant noodles? They won’t satisfy my stomach.”
“But cakes would?” Kanda retorted, looking at Allen with a raised eyebrow.
“Mmh, nope,” the Allen shook his head lightly, moving his gaze to the menu instead and trying to decide what to get. “But they’ll satisfy my palate.”
Kanda snorted. He opened the menu laid in front of him and-“Is there anything that is not sweet?”
“What’s your problem with sweet food? You stole my cookies last time-“
“That was different-“
“So you finally admit you stole them?” Allen looked up innocently, and it was hard not to smirk in triumph. He managed to refrain from doing so, though. Kanda glowered darkly at him, and-
“Are you ready to order?”
Both males turned their heads to the feminine voice addressing them, and standing there by their table was a waitress, with a standard business-like smile. Though it changed into something more-flirty as soon as she got a good look on their face-and especially Kanda, because Allen noticed the way her eyes immediately flicked down Kanda’s form, and then up his face, tracing the sharp lines of Kanda’s jaw and the high cheekbone with appreciative eyes. Oh yes, Allen knew that look. He’d seen it more often than he cared to remember during his time with his guardian, Cross.
Kanda, though, was as oblivious as always. “One Earl Grey tea and French fries,” he recited his order flatly.
The girl jotted down the order in her notepad, but then she looked back at Kanda, and-“Anything else,” she started, and one of her hands went to the second and third buttons of her shirt and unbuttoned them, and Allen thought-oh, here it comes. She bent just a little forward, showing the cleavage of her ample bosom, “That you’d like to order?”
Kanda didn’t bat an eyelid. Heck, he didn’t even turn to look at the waitress as he answered with a flat out, “No.”
Allen didn’t know if it was appropriate to be amused.
Pouting at the blatant rejection, said waitress-Melinda, her name was Melinda, according to the name tag-turned to face Allen. The Business Smile was all back in place. Well. Allen flashed his own charming, winning smile to the girl, and it got her eyes to light up faster than Allen could blink.
“How about you, sweetie?” she asked.
“Ah yes, I’d like to order hot chocolate, please,” Allen started, and when Melinda made yet another flirty gesture, his smile got all that wider. “Also an extra large blueberry pancake.”
The girl seemed to be approving Allen’s smile. “Nice choice there, cutie, we serve delicious pancakes,” she told Allen in a lower tone of voice, nearly whispering the word ‘delicious’ as she licked her lip as if to emphasize.
Allen smiled wider at that, though, tilting his head for effect. “I believe so,” the boy began again, “Especially served by someone with beautiful hands like yours, miss Melinda,” Allen thought he heard a small, almost inaudible choking noise from Kanda’s general direction, but he ignored it for now, in favor of lightly touching the girl’s hand, just enough to still be considered a friendly touch. That seemed to please the girl, especially the mention her name.
“Oh please, drop the miss,” Melinda giggled at that and Allen dropped his hand back to the table. “You’re such a sweet little boy,” Allen’s eyebrow ticked at that, knowing that he looked younger than his real age, and Melinda was obviously older, but-“Today’s special is muffins. Would you like to try?” Melinda asked, and Allen gleefully thought, oh, here it comes-“It’s on the house,” she whispered the last bit.
“Why, thank you! You’re much too kind,” the British boy replied with practiced ease. “I would like to, as long as it doesn’t get you into trouble.”
“Oh, no, not at all,” Melinda waved a dismissive hand. “Please wait a moment for your orders,” she threw one last smile at the both of them-as dictated by the protocols, before turning on her heels and walking away.
There, Allen thought. That had worked as smoothly as he remembered. If there was something useful he’d learned from his Master, it was-
“What,” he heard Kanda say from across the table, so Allen looked up to find Kanda staring at him like-like-“The fuck. Was. That?” -like he couldn’t decide if he should be mocking Allen or freaked out. And Allen? He didn’t know if it was all right to laugh.
“That was called ‘flirting’,” Allen snorted, and Kanda’s half horrified face only added up to his amusement. Then he smiled a smile that, if someone was actually observant, looked somewhat-old. “Sometimes, Kanda, you have to do things you wouldn't normally do to get things you wouldn't normally have.”
Kanda clucked his tongue, looking away. “Don’t fucking give me life lessons over you whoring yourself out to get free cakes, bean sprout.”
Well ouch. That actually hurt a little more than it should have. “Pardon me if it bothers you but it’s how I’ve been surviving so far,” and now Allen was throwing his gaze out of the window, watching the people passing by, some in a quick, hurried pace and others more leisurely. A yellowing leaf was falling from a branch and danced in the wind to brush against the café’s window.
Allen, too caught up in his own thoughts, was a little surprised when Kanda spoke, “You’re sulking.”
The white haired boy frowned. “Am not,” he denied, not looking back at his roommate.
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are. Too.”
“You’re such a prick,” Allen grumbled, closing his eyes in annoyance.
“And you’re a kid. Now stop sulking because your goddamn chocolate is here.”
At that, Allen blinked his eyes open and turned his head to see Melinda already there, by their small table. A tray containing a mug of his hot chocolate and Kanda’s earl grey tea were there, and she was-giggling.
“Oh my, so you two are-like that,” she lightly said, setting the steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of Allen’s. She turned to face Kanda and winked. “No wonder you didn’t react to me-“
Oh. Oh shit. “No, Melinda, we’re not like tha-“
“Aww, don’t worry, sweetie,” Melinda smiled reassuringly to Allen, “I have nothing against people like you, really.”
“The hell are you talking about?” Kanda frowned in confusion.
“Oh, you,” Melinda laughed, waving her hand lightly in amusement. “It’s okay, really. Would you like an extra muffin too?”
“What the hell-no.“
“Oh well, I’ll be back with your food~” and with that she was gone again, leaving Kanda frowning and Allen gaping and-
“The hell was that all about?”
The genuinely confused tone caught Allen’s attention, and he turned back to his roommate and gave him an incredulous look. “Well, obviously she thought that we were-” Wait. On the second thought… Allen sighed. “Never mind. You don’t want to know. Trust me.”
Kanda looked at him weirdly, but he seemed to let it go. “Yeah, whatever-“
“And here, is your food,” Melinda chirped, placing Kanda’s basket of French fries in front of the Japanese, setting down Allen’s extra large pancake that took up nearly half of the tiny, tiny table between them, and finally, “And here is your special muffin~”
Kanda snorted.
Allen glared at the older man, but it wasn’t until Melinda was gone that he grounded out-“What?”
“Special muffin,” Kanda repeated in a mocking tone, and Allen’s brows twitched in annoyance.
“Maybe if you actually taste it, you’ll be able to understand my reasons.” Allen gritted out, tearing a pinch of the muffin before leaning forward over the small round table separating them, and, “Here,” and he just-stuffed it into Kanda’s mouth, taking the older man off-guard.
Unfortunately, Kanda didn’t choke. Instead, he quickly chewed and swallowed the muffin bit, before glaring daggers in Allen’s direction, and, “What the fuck?”
“It’s good, isn’t it?” Allen flashed him that annoyingly sweet smile Kanda seemed to hate so much, “I don’t get to eat something like this very often, mind you-”
“Then eat,” Kanda growled and-shoved a piece of muffin into Allen’s surprised mouth-when had Kanda even picked up Allen’s muffin anyway?
Allen tried not to choke-he nearly did, given the sudden presence of food in his mouth, but he managed. Once he had the muffin all chewed and swallowed, Allen glared back at Kanda. “Were you trying to choke me?”
The long haired male merely snorted. “That’s why you don’t force food into someone else’s mouth. Stupid.”
Well, Allen couldn’t argue with that. It didn’t mean he couldn’t get revenge though. So he tore another pinch of the muffin and forced into Kanda’s mouth-and he would have smirked in triumph, had Kanda not bitten his fingers.
It wasn’t even hard, but-Kanda had just bitten him. The thought itself was enough to send heat up his cheeks, and-“What the bloody-”
Then there were giggles. Giggles. Allen glanced around to find two separate groups of girls looking their way, giggling, and then Melinda who was standing not too far from them winking, and mouthing, “You two are so cute.”
Allen didn’t know if he should be upset or not, but Kanda? The bastard nearly gagged.
-o-O-o-
That night, Allen had gone to sleep earlier than usual, but he randomly woke up in the middle of the night. Allen was sure he had been dreaming, but for the life of him, Allen couldn’t remember what it was about.
Maybe he should get a drink. So Allen climbed out of bed, and then he walked slowly to the door. He went to the kitchen, filling his glass with water before taking all in big gulps, and-that had made him feel better already. So he went back to his shared bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him.
The room was dark, no lights were on, and the only source of light was the moonlight coming in from the small gap between the curtains. As if out of a habit, Allen’s eyes traced Kanda’s sleeping form and-he stepped closer, admiring how the relaxed face looked in the darkness and only illuminated by the moonlight.
So far, Allen had always seen Kanda’s sleeping face in good lighting, because usually he’d only get the chance when he was pulling an all-nighter working on his assignments. But now-
Now, with the bluish tint of the moonlight, Kanda looked-ethereal. And, well, Allen told himself that this was only because Kanda was pretty, that anyone would be entranced by such a sight and-he walked closer, kneeling by the bed just to get a better look.
His chrome eyes fell to Kanda’s lips, and Allen mused on how those lips could spew out some really foul curses and mean words, and he thought-such a pity. Then again, if Kanda was suddenly all tame and docile, that would freak him out, too.
Since he was kind of staring at Kanda’s lips, Allen noticed that they were-chapped? Just a little, but-Allen brushed his thumb across Kanda’s lips, just to make sure and-oh, yes, they were chapped. Maybe Allen could bully him into drinking some vitamins…
And before he knew it, Allen was leaning closer, and closer, down, down, down until he could feel those lips against his-soft, if a bit chapped. A contrast to the biting remarks that mouth was capable of and-
What the bloody hell was he doing?
Allen jerked back up, eyes widening in mortification as he slowly rose from his kneeling position to stand up and back away, until the back of his knees hit the frame of his own bed and-
He fell down on his bed, a hand covering his slightly parted lips as he still stared at Kanda’s figure with wide, disbelieving eyes. Had he-really just done that?
“I’m half-asleep,” Allen told himself. “It didn’t mean anything. His face was just there and-” and he was just… beautiful. So.
Shaking his head Allen dove under the covers and willed himself to sleep. Maybe in the morning his mind would be clearer. And maybe he could just-pretend that this had never happened. Kanda didn’t know about this anyway, so-
So maybe, he could just-forget.
-o-O-o-
Well, that didn’t happen.
Because starting from the next morning, Allen found himself randomly staring at Kanda’s lips for no sane reason.
Allen had tried blaming it on curiosity, though curiosity about what, he had no idea. Maybe he was only staring to make sure the jerk would actually do something about his chapped lips, and not because of the kiss? The prick would better drink those vitamins he’d given him.
Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if he had stopped at staring, but a few days later, Allen found himself in a similar situation to the one in which the first kiss had happened. Kanda’s face was just there and Allen was leaning down before he could stop himself and-
It was wonderful, the feel of Kanda’s lips against his. Even if the kiss was brief, and chaste, with lips barely brushing against each other. Allen pulled back almost immediately and started beating himself up mentally for that, but-but he just-couldn’t stop.
So help him, Allen found himself stealing kisses from Kanda again, and again, noticing the change of Kanda’s lips, from chapped to soft-and he noted pleasantly that Kanda did take the vitamin, despite the incredulous look and mocking words he’d given Allen when Allen had shoved the bottle of vitamins into his hand.
It almost became an irregular, nightly routine. And Allen did feel guilty about it-because he was taking advantage of his roommate in his asleep. And the thought hurt more than he thought it should, but-
But it felt so good that the mere thought of stopping hurt.
He was addicted.
-o-O-o-
Allen had lost count how many times he’d kissed Kanda in his sleep, but he was sure it hadn’t been that many times. The guilt was still there, a dull ache in his chest, but he’d learned to-ignore it. Or at least, to not think much about it.
‘This will be the last.’
He’d lost count of how many times he’d thought that, too.
That night, Kanda had gone to bed ahead of Allen, having been working on a project for days. It was apparent that Kanda could use some sleep. And Allen? Well-he’d been missing Kanda’s lips.
When Kanda had finally gone to bed, Allen could feel his lips starting to ache. He fiddled with his assignment a little longer than he should, having finished it but-he was waiting.
Twenty minutes later, Allen deemed it safe, so he started putting his things away-the keyboard, the pencils and the worksheet-before turning off the light.
Well.
Allen peered at Kanda. He’d never-done it this soon, it hadn’t even been 30 minutes since Kanda had fallen asleep, but-hey, Kanda looked like he was sleeping really very deeply.
So it was okay, right?
He quietly walked closer to the other’s bed, and for a moment, Allen just-stood there, watching the way the soft light fell across the other’s face. Once again, he kneeled by the bed, brushing strands of hair out of Kanda’s face, lightly, and when Kanda didn’t budge, Allen leant down further and touched his lips against Kanda’s.
He started with a light brush, but somehow, it wasn’t enough, so he pressed a little harder, lightly catching Kanda’s upper lip between his, and he moved slowly, giving light pressure over the other’s lip. Pulling back for a little breather, Allen leaned down again to take Kanda’s bottom lip this time, brushing and pressing and-
And suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder, squeezing in warning, and Allen jerked back, wide-eyed.
Kanda was awake, his dark eyes gleaming in the moonlight, looking like-like-“What. The fuck.”
And Allen didn’t know what to say.
“U-umm I... I didn’t… I-” what exactly? What could he say to justify his act? Well-nothing. Nothing, because, whatever the reason was, Allen had been taking advantage of Kanda and that-was… wrong.
So he looked down, not daring to even take a peek to see what kind of expression was there on Kanda’s face. Anger? Disgust? …something?
“I’m sorry,” he finally said, because at least he owed an apology. He knew that much. “I’m just-you were just there and-and pretty and I was just curious and-“
And Allen shut up, because he didn’t know what else to say. Kanda had been silent, and it was unnerving. He’d rather have Kanda yelling at him, throwing mocking words and sarcastic remarks, because-because then he’d know that it was alright. If Kanda stayed silent, however-
“Tch. Whatever,” Kanda finally said and Allen blinked. He looked up to Kanda’s face, but the older male was already closing his eyes, with a frown marring his face.
“Wh-what?”
“I said,” Kanda growled, “What. The fuck. Ever. I’m too tired for this. So you’re curious and I just happened to be here? Fine, it’s just a kiss anyway.”
Allen frowned at that, brows knitting in slight disapproval, because-“You say that like it doesn’t matter.”
“Because it doesn’t,” Kanda groaned his answer as he put an arm to over his eyes, looking so much like he just wanted to-go back to sleep or something.
Allen was-offended, though. And maybe, a little hurt, because-“Of course it does! Are you half-asleep?” which, Kanda probably was, but.
He heard the man growl again, and Allen was more than a little surprised when Kanda sat up in his bed to look at Allen. “It’s just a kiss,” Kanda growled at Allen. Suddenly, there was a hand at the back of Allen’s head, pulling it in Kanda’s direction, closer to his face and-
And their mouths crashed briefly, lips barely brushing against each other. Then Kanda was pulling back, leaving Allen still a little wide-eyed, and-“There,” Kanda muttered with a huff. “Just a kiss. Doesn’t fucking mean anything, does it? Now can we go on our merry ways and sleep?”
Allen could only gape as Kanda threw himself back into bed, not quite understanding what he meant and-
Oh whatever. Kanda was probably half-asleep, and Allen himself was goddamn tired. He needed to rest, clear his head and maybe-maybe he’d think of something to say tomorrow.
For now, though, Allen went back to his bed, body tired and mind full and lips tingling.
-o-O-o-
It turned out that the next morning, it was as if the kisses had never been there. Allen and Kanda stood in front of the bathroom door, hands on the knob as they tried to push each other off.
“Move,” Kanda gritted out, hands tightening halfway over Allen’s on the knob.
Allen wouldn’t budge either. “No, you move! Your fault for waking up later than usual,” Allen ground out slowly.
“Goddammit, you’re annoying.”
“And you’re irritati-ngmmpphhh?!”
Allen’s eyes were wide as he couldn’t finish his sentence because-why in the world was Kanda kissing him?
Too surprised by the sudden act, Allen’s hand became slack, and Kanda took that chance to push the boy aside, rush into the bathroom and-slam the door shut. Allen blinked, and blinked, and now he could feel heat creeping up his face, maybe from anger or embarrassment, it was hard to tell, but-“Hey, that wasn’t fair!” he shouted at the bathroom door.
“You fucking kiss me in my sleep so why the hell can’t I kiss you to get into the bathroom?” came the shouted, if a little nonchalant, reply.
Allen gaped at the door.
Did Kanda just-was this… when Kanda had said it didn’t matter, he couldn’t possibly have meant-like this?
-o-O-o-
They didn’t talk about it further. Allen never mentioned how he’d been kissing Kanda in his sleep even before that, and Kanda kept being his usual prick-y self. They went on as they were before, but there was one particular difference.
Ever since that day, both of them had taken to kissing each other as some sort of an inside joke, to take the other off guard, or just-for the hell of it.
Allen hadn’t known what to think at first, his mind trying to make sense of this new-habit, but with Kanda, it was hard to do so. The way Allen saw it, Kanda didn’t seem to be thinking about this new habit like, at all, so Allen decided that reasons be damned, he would just go with the flow. If Kanda wasn’t thinking about it, then why the hell must he mull over it and hurt his head?
After all, it wasn’t like the kisses meant anything. Allen kept that in mind all the time.
Although it had been weird at first, by now Allen had gotten used to them randomly kissing each other on the slightest whim. It was almost like a game, really. Though what was the goal, Allen didn’t know.
Like now, they had only been sitting on the couch in the living room and just finished having their dinner-Allen had ordered some Chinese takeout, because he did need to eat something non-instant every now and then.
They had been talking about some stupid TV quiz, then the talk turned into an argument, and he didn’t know who had started it, but now they were kissing again. Allen suspected that they had only meant to shut each other up, but the kiss had gotten longer and deeper, and now Allen was busy trying to keep breathing through his nose as he kept fighting off Kanda’s tongue to keep from invading his mouth. But it would seem that Allen was losing the air he needed and the fight, so he pulled back, panting, his chest heaving.
Allen didn’t know since when he’d been pushed back so that he was leaning heavily against the armrest, the only thing keeping him from lying flat on his back against it were his arms around Kanda’s neck and the older man’s hands around his back.
Kanda smirked down at him. “You lose.”
Oh, right. This was one of those that had turned into a competition, wasn’t it? To see who could last longer, but-“How long can you actually hold your breath?” Allen demanded, closing his eyes as he felt just a little lightheaded from the lack of air and the-giddy feeling that kissing brought him. Allen tried not to think much about the latter.
“Unlike you,” Kanda began, face still so smug Allen kind of wanted to wipe that grin off his face, “I’m not weak.”
Allen scowled. “I don’t think it has anything to do with being weak, prick,” the boy retorted, and once he had gained his breathing, Allen pulled himself up, untangling one arm from round Kanda for his leverage on the sofa. His lips were still tingling, and his tongue? Let’s not go there. The good thing about this arrangement, though, was that he could have his daily dose of Kanda’s kisses, so his craving for them never got too bad anymore.
Seriously, Allen blamed Cross for this. Something must have gone wrong during his upbringing. How come he liked kissing so much that it didn’t matter even if it was Kanda he was kissing?
Although-Kanda was actually a good kisser. Allen thought it wasn’t fair. Was he just a fast learner or had he actually had practice before Allen? “Where did you learn to kiss like that anyway?” Allen asked, refraining from using the word “good” because it would only serve to inflate Kanda’s ego and then he’d be insufferable.
Kanda only frowned though, eyebrows knitting in what Allen thought was-“What is it to you?” the Japanese finally replied, looking anything but pleased to have to answer the question. “It doesn’t matter. Not like this even means anything.”
Oh, right. The mantra. It didn’t mean anything, these random kisses. They did it just because it felt good, that was all.
“Of course,” Allen finally replied, disentangling himself completely from Kanda, and made to stand up. “I’ll just wash the dishes.”
And with that, Allen picked up their dirty plates and brought them to the kitchen to wash, trying not to think about Kanda’s words, because-
It didn’t matter.
That was how this whole thing was going to be, and Allen should never forget that.
-NeverEnding-
A/N: I’ll try to write the fifth installment as soon as I can. Reviews motivate me and feed my plot bunny, so please leave some? Thank you :)
Oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS to you who celebrate it =)
Author: a1y-puff
Fandom: D. Gray-Man
Pairing: DUH. Yullen Week anyone? :/
Genre: Daily-life-ish/humor and now with tiny bits of angst. Yay?
Summary: It had started with mere curiosity. Without thinking much, Allen only meant to brush the strands of hair away so Kanda wouldn’t accidentally swallow it in his sleep or something. But then it developed more than Allen would have liked.
Word Count: ~6000
Warning: AU. Possible OOC-ness, and CROSS certainly is a bad influence on Allen, I swear. :(
Disclaimer: What do you think? I don't even own a laptop *sighs*
Beta: hakasha (you are officially a new definition of awesome!)
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLEN!! Anyway I’m really sorry that this is SO late, but yeah. I’d rather be late than posting a half-assed chapter. Thank you for waiting and here, have the longest part yet full of DEVELOPMENT. Anyway, it’s getting a little serious in this part, but I do hope you’d enjoy the development. Fun? I hope so =)
Special thanks once again to hakasha, because the length of this part is totally her fault. She kept putting ideas into my head, so you beloved readers can blame her for that too XD. And she was really awesome to bear with the embarrassing amount of grammatical errors this fic originally had due to me writing it all night and into the morning. I even dozed off a few times, so. -shifty eyes- Also, thanks to pinkxpianofor giving the title :D
Previous Parts: Ephemeral Summer | Days Passing By | What's Yours is Mine
Strikes of Waves
Yullen Week Day 4
Theme: Addiction
It had started with mere curiosity.
Allen remembered it being a Thursday night-or was it Friday already? Allen couldn’t tell. All he knew was that it was such an ungodly hour at the dead of night-morning-whatever, and he was tired and extremely sleepy and he blamed the assignment again for keeping him up so late.
It was when he had finally finished said assignment, stretching his arms and twisting his back that he caught sight of-Kanda’s sleeping face.
It was nothing special, really. Kanda didn’t make weird faces or anything as he slept. It was just-he looked kind of peaceful. Kanda was lying on his back with his face turned slightly to one side-the side that was facing Allen’s bed, and Allen could see that the frown lines that usually adorned the pretty face were almost gone, and Kanda looked noticeably more relaxed.
Unconsciously, Allen stepped closer to Kanda’s bed; eyeing the older man with a curiosity he’d always ignored before it could even grow.
Now, though…
Now, Allen was wondering what could possibly be happening in Kanda’s dream-for him to look so far from intimidating, unlike when he was awake. Or what could possibly have put the permanent frown on Kanda’s pretty face outside of his sleep.
He noticed the strands of hair falling across Kanda’s face-from one side of his head, over his lips and down to his other cheek, and it would be bad if some of the hair went into his mouth and Kanda accidentally swallowed it, right?
So without thinking much, Allen bent over and carefully brushed the strands of hair out of Kanda’s face, gently, so he wouldn’t wake the man up.
Kanda muttered something incomprehensible then, as if knowing that someone was touching him in his sleep, and Allen immediately jerked his hand away as if he had been burnt. That was when he realized-what was he doing?
Shaking his head, Allen quickly retreated to his own bed, blaming his weird behavior on lack of sleep and-
And Kanda’s pretty face. Duh.
-o-O-o-
“Get the hell up, stupid.”
It was with that voice, barely reaching his ears along with all the other horrible noises shrilling in his ears, and a far-from-gentle tugging on his hand, that Allen was harshly pulled out of his sleep.
Groaning at the horrible, horrible noise-induced headache, Allen pleaded, “Turn them off, please?” and god, he just wanted to curl back up in bed. But no, the shrill noises prevented him from doing so, and Kanda’s grip on his wrist was persistent and-“Yes, yes, okay, I’m up! Turn them off, please?”
Allen felt himself being tugged up until he was sitting up on the bed, before finally, the noises died down one by one and-he really almost flopped back into bed, except that there were fingers pinching his cheek now and-“Ow! What the bloody-“
“Get. Up. It’s 7:10, you moron.”
Allen made another incomprehensible protesting noise, but he let Kanda drag him out of bed anyways. Like always. Yes, this was becoming a quite common occurrence, as Allen pulled all-nighters more often these days, and he wouldn’t get to his classes on time if Kanda didn’t drag him out of bed. Allen had the sneaking suspicion that Kanda took sadistic pleasure in abusing his ears in the morning with those horrible alarms, and surely after such effort, letting him go back to sleep would be such a waste.
That, or-Kanda actually cared that much? Allen didn’t know, and he didn’t dare ask.
As he was walking to the bathroom, Allen idly wondered how come Kanda looked so different when he was awake. Even now, he could still remember how relaxed and-dare he say it-peaceful Kanda had looked the night before-
…why was he thinking about that again?
-o-O-o-
Which was probably why, three days after that, when Kanda had gone to sleep a little earlier than usual, Allen found himself staring at Kanda’s face again.
The boy didn’t know what he was doing-or why he was doing it now. He’d gotten a glance of Kanda’s sleeping face many times before, being roommates and all. Though Allen had never particularly paid attention to the pretty face, free of frowns with the smooth, silky hair framing his face and falling around his head and onto the mattress
Allen would blame his curiosity later but he really, really wanted to-touch Kanda’s hair.
So he did. Just lightly running his fingers through the strands of raven hair, brushing it away from Kanda’s face and-he pulled back almost immediately.
Kanda didn’t budge.
Well. Allen stepped away anyway. Shaking his head, Allen went back to his homework, trying not to think of how soft Kanda’s hair had felt between his fingers.
-o-O-o-
The next time it happened was when Kanda was-sleeping in. Sort of. He’d been working on a painting for the past three days-Allen could tell from how Kanda always smelled strongly of paint when he got home, and he’d been coming home late, too.
So that weekend, Kanda skipped his morning workout in favor of making up for his lack of sleep. Allen was surprised when he found himself awake around 6.30 and Kanda was still there, on his bed, sleeping like a log.
It was a rare sight, if Allen might say so. Usually, it was Kanda who often found Allen sleeping like the dead, so.
Slowly, Allen got out of bed, stretching for a bit before going to open the curtains and feed Timcanpy and Golem. Putting back the food jar, Allen turned his head to the right, watching as Kanda shifted in his sleep and let out a sigh, turning to his side so he was now facing Allen, and-
Maybe it was the sunlight streaming in through the open window, falling partially upon Kanda’s figure, creating soft shades and defining the sharp lines of his face, emphasizing the high cheekbones and the long eyelashes and-in Allen’s eyes, he just looked really, really pretty.
And before he knew it, Allen was coming close again. A hand slowly reaching out without him even realizing it and the next second, he found the tips of his fingers tracing the shaded part of Kanda’s jaw and down and-
Allen pulled back, again. Maybe he should have been mortified at himself and his kinda-sorta-but not really molesting Kanda in his sleep but… well.
Kanda was just-beautiful, male or not, so it was normal that he’d at least be a little attracted to him, right? It wasn’t like it meant more than physical attraction anyway.
Still, it didn’t mean that he should keep doing that. Mentally smacking himself, Allen went to the showers to cool his head. He really-should stop touching Kanda while the other was sleeping.
-o-O-o-
It was Monday afternoon. Allen had just eaten his lunch in the cafeteria nearby and he was now walking with Emilia, about to go practice their piano-violin duo when the cold autumn breeze blew in front of Allen’s face, making the boy turn his head to one side. That was when his eyes caught sight of long, dark hair flowing slightly in the wind, and-“Oh, hey, BaKanda!”
His roommate turned to face him, and Allen excused himself to Emilia before lightly jogging in Kanda’s direction.
“What?” he was welcomed with an unfriendly scowl and-right. Kanda definitely looked better when he was asleep.
Allen frowned back. “Don’t forget to buy some instant noodles on your way back later. We’re running out. Oh, and some coffee, please.”
“What? Why the fuck should I-why don’t you do it?”
“Because, stupid, as I already told you this morning, I have practice with someone-which is right now, actually. You’re done with your classes, aren’t you?”
Kanda’s frown deepened. “Yes, but it doesn’t mean that I have to-“
“Oh, come on. You know I have to stay up late more often these days. I need the sustenance,” he tried a pout here, and added, “And you do too, idiot. Like I don’t know you’ve been eating the cup noodles.”
“It’s the only thing there is. You don’t even have some decent food-“
“And yet you’re eating it anyway so go buy some,” Allen demanded, then seeing the darkening scowl on Kanda’s face, he added, “Please?”
Kanda grumbled, but before he could say anything, Allen was already saying “Thank you!” and giving his shoulder a friendly smack-if a little harder than necessary-before walking back to Emilia.
The girl, though, gave Allen a look that was-“What is it-?”
“You know him?” She was now looking at Allen wide-eyed, and Allen blinked.
“Umm. I’m his roommate?” Allen offered, and-“Do you know him?” Allen asked instead, and inwardly wondered if they were acquainted, Kanda could have said hello to Emilia, the prick.
“Of course I do. Everyone would know someone with such a beautiful-“
“Oi, Moyashi!”
At the familiar voice and annoying nickname, Allen turned his head to find Kanda already grabbing his arm to halt him. Allen scowled. “The name is Allen, BaKanda. Are you so retarded that you're unable to remember my name after so long?”
“Shut up, bean sprout, what time do you finish your practice?”
Allen raised an eyebrow, then consulted his wristwatch. “Maybe around five, why?”
“You eat like a pig,” Kanda began, and Allen let out an indignant ‘hey!’ but before he could say more, Kanda added, “We’ll need to buy a lot of food for you alone. Like hell I’m going to carry all that stuff. You’re coming. Carry your own goddamn food.”
Allen was ready to complain but then-well. Fair enough. “Fine. Where do you want to meet?”
Kanda tilted his head in thought. “I’ll be in the art studio, so front gate at five. You’re late, you’re dead.” And with that Kanda was gone again without so much as an apology.
Well.
“He’s such a prick,” Allen grumbled to himself, but when he turned back to his friend, the blonde was looking at the direction Kanda had gone to with dreamy eyes. “Umm. Emilia?”
“If you were a girl, I would have killed you out of jealousy,” the girl said instead, and added, “It almost sounded like he was asking you out on a date.”
That made the boy blink. Once, twice and-he really wanted to laugh his arse off, because Kanda? Asking him on a date? It was way too absurd.
And yet his cheeks felt slightly warm.
“But really,” the girl spoke again, “This is the first time I’ve ever seen him up close. He’s so-beautiful.”
Allen quieted down at that, remembering the moments he had spent just looking at Kanda’s sleeping face and brushing his hair out of his face and-he felt like such a horrible sap, but... he couldn’t agree more.
-o-O-o-
“Remind me why we came here again?” Kanda asked with a bored face, looking around disinterestedly, taking in the small café they’d entered.
It was a cozy kind of café, with wooden furniture and homey interior. It looked and felt warm, especially when they just came in from the cool autumn breeze.
Allen put down the plastic bags containing the instant food they had bought in the nearby convenient store and looked up at Kanda. “Because it’s bloody cold out there and I’m kind of hungry?” the boy offered with ease, knowing he’d practically dragged the other in here. He shifted a little in his seat to give room to the plastic bags on the floor and-his knee knocked against Kanda. Right. Why was this table for two so small anyway?
“You’re always hungry,” the older man snorted. “Can’t wait for goddamn fifteen minutes until we reach the dorm-“
“And eat instant noodles? They won’t satisfy my stomach.”
“But cakes would?” Kanda retorted, looking at Allen with a raised eyebrow.
“Mmh, nope,” the Allen shook his head lightly, moving his gaze to the menu instead and trying to decide what to get. “But they’ll satisfy my palate.”
Kanda snorted. He opened the menu laid in front of him and-“Is there anything that is not sweet?”
“What’s your problem with sweet food? You stole my cookies last time-“
“That was different-“
“So you finally admit you stole them?” Allen looked up innocently, and it was hard not to smirk in triumph. He managed to refrain from doing so, though. Kanda glowered darkly at him, and-
“Are you ready to order?”
Both males turned their heads to the feminine voice addressing them, and standing there by their table was a waitress, with a standard business-like smile. Though it changed into something more-flirty as soon as she got a good look on their face-and especially Kanda, because Allen noticed the way her eyes immediately flicked down Kanda’s form, and then up his face, tracing the sharp lines of Kanda’s jaw and the high cheekbone with appreciative eyes. Oh yes, Allen knew that look. He’d seen it more often than he cared to remember during his time with his guardian, Cross.
Kanda, though, was as oblivious as always. “One Earl Grey tea and French fries,” he recited his order flatly.
The girl jotted down the order in her notepad, but then she looked back at Kanda, and-“Anything else,” she started, and one of her hands went to the second and third buttons of her shirt and unbuttoned them, and Allen thought-oh, here it comes. She bent just a little forward, showing the cleavage of her ample bosom, “That you’d like to order?”
Kanda didn’t bat an eyelid. Heck, he didn’t even turn to look at the waitress as he answered with a flat out, “No.”
Allen didn’t know if it was appropriate to be amused.
Pouting at the blatant rejection, said waitress-Melinda, her name was Melinda, according to the name tag-turned to face Allen. The Business Smile was all back in place. Well. Allen flashed his own charming, winning smile to the girl, and it got her eyes to light up faster than Allen could blink.
“How about you, sweetie?” she asked.
“Ah yes, I’d like to order hot chocolate, please,” Allen started, and when Melinda made yet another flirty gesture, his smile got all that wider. “Also an extra large blueberry pancake.”
The girl seemed to be approving Allen’s smile. “Nice choice there, cutie, we serve delicious pancakes,” she told Allen in a lower tone of voice, nearly whispering the word ‘delicious’ as she licked her lip as if to emphasize.
Allen smiled wider at that, though, tilting his head for effect. “I believe so,” the boy began again, “Especially served by someone with beautiful hands like yours, miss Melinda,” Allen thought he heard a small, almost inaudible choking noise from Kanda’s general direction, but he ignored it for now, in favor of lightly touching the girl’s hand, just enough to still be considered a friendly touch. That seemed to please the girl, especially the mention her name.
“Oh please, drop the miss,” Melinda giggled at that and Allen dropped his hand back to the table. “You’re such a sweet little boy,” Allen’s eyebrow ticked at that, knowing that he looked younger than his real age, and Melinda was obviously older, but-“Today’s special is muffins. Would you like to try?” Melinda asked, and Allen gleefully thought, oh, here it comes-“It’s on the house,” she whispered the last bit.
“Why, thank you! You’re much too kind,” the British boy replied with practiced ease. “I would like to, as long as it doesn’t get you into trouble.”
“Oh, no, not at all,” Melinda waved a dismissive hand. “Please wait a moment for your orders,” she threw one last smile at the both of them-as dictated by the protocols, before turning on her heels and walking away.
There, Allen thought. That had worked as smoothly as he remembered. If there was something useful he’d learned from his Master, it was-
“What,” he heard Kanda say from across the table, so Allen looked up to find Kanda staring at him like-like-“The fuck. Was. That?” -like he couldn’t decide if he should be mocking Allen or freaked out. And Allen? He didn’t know if it was all right to laugh.
“That was called ‘flirting’,” Allen snorted, and Kanda’s half horrified face only added up to his amusement. Then he smiled a smile that, if someone was actually observant, looked somewhat-old. “Sometimes, Kanda, you have to do things you wouldn't normally do to get things you wouldn't normally have.”
Kanda clucked his tongue, looking away. “Don’t fucking give me life lessons over you whoring yourself out to get free cakes, bean sprout.”
Well ouch. That actually hurt a little more than it should have. “Pardon me if it bothers you but it’s how I’ve been surviving so far,” and now Allen was throwing his gaze out of the window, watching the people passing by, some in a quick, hurried pace and others more leisurely. A yellowing leaf was falling from a branch and danced in the wind to brush against the café’s window.
Allen, too caught up in his own thoughts, was a little surprised when Kanda spoke, “You’re sulking.”
The white haired boy frowned. “Am not,” he denied, not looking back at his roommate.
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are. Too.”
“You’re such a prick,” Allen grumbled, closing his eyes in annoyance.
“And you’re a kid. Now stop sulking because your goddamn chocolate is here.”
At that, Allen blinked his eyes open and turned his head to see Melinda already there, by their small table. A tray containing a mug of his hot chocolate and Kanda’s earl grey tea were there, and she was-giggling.
“Oh my, so you two are-like that,” she lightly said, setting the steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of Allen’s. She turned to face Kanda and winked. “No wonder you didn’t react to me-“
Oh. Oh shit. “No, Melinda, we’re not like tha-“
“Aww, don’t worry, sweetie,” Melinda smiled reassuringly to Allen, “I have nothing against people like you, really.”
“The hell are you talking about?” Kanda frowned in confusion.
“Oh, you,” Melinda laughed, waving her hand lightly in amusement. “It’s okay, really. Would you like an extra muffin too?”
“What the hell-no.“
“Oh well, I’ll be back with your food~” and with that she was gone again, leaving Kanda frowning and Allen gaping and-
“The hell was that all about?”
The genuinely confused tone caught Allen’s attention, and he turned back to his roommate and gave him an incredulous look. “Well, obviously she thought that we were-” Wait. On the second thought… Allen sighed. “Never mind. You don’t want to know. Trust me.”
Kanda looked at him weirdly, but he seemed to let it go. “Yeah, whatever-“
“And here, is your food,” Melinda chirped, placing Kanda’s basket of French fries in front of the Japanese, setting down Allen’s extra large pancake that took up nearly half of the tiny, tiny table between them, and finally, “And here is your special muffin~”
Kanda snorted.
Allen glared at the older man, but it wasn’t until Melinda was gone that he grounded out-“What?”
“Special muffin,” Kanda repeated in a mocking tone, and Allen’s brows twitched in annoyance.
“Maybe if you actually taste it, you’ll be able to understand my reasons.” Allen gritted out, tearing a pinch of the muffin before leaning forward over the small round table separating them, and, “Here,” and he just-stuffed it into Kanda’s mouth, taking the older man off-guard.
Unfortunately, Kanda didn’t choke. Instead, he quickly chewed and swallowed the muffin bit, before glaring daggers in Allen’s direction, and, “What the fuck?”
“It’s good, isn’t it?” Allen flashed him that annoyingly sweet smile Kanda seemed to hate so much, “I don’t get to eat something like this very often, mind you-”
“Then eat,” Kanda growled and-shoved a piece of muffin into Allen’s surprised mouth-when had Kanda even picked up Allen’s muffin anyway?
Allen tried not to choke-he nearly did, given the sudden presence of food in his mouth, but he managed. Once he had the muffin all chewed and swallowed, Allen glared back at Kanda. “Were you trying to choke me?”
The long haired male merely snorted. “That’s why you don’t force food into someone else’s mouth. Stupid.”
Well, Allen couldn’t argue with that. It didn’t mean he couldn’t get revenge though. So he tore another pinch of the muffin and forced into Kanda’s mouth-and he would have smirked in triumph, had Kanda not bitten his fingers.
It wasn’t even hard, but-Kanda had just bitten him. The thought itself was enough to send heat up his cheeks, and-“What the bloody-”
Then there were giggles. Giggles. Allen glanced around to find two separate groups of girls looking their way, giggling, and then Melinda who was standing not too far from them winking, and mouthing, “You two are so cute.”
Allen didn’t know if he should be upset or not, but Kanda? The bastard nearly gagged.
-o-O-o-
That night, Allen had gone to sleep earlier than usual, but he randomly woke up in the middle of the night. Allen was sure he had been dreaming, but for the life of him, Allen couldn’t remember what it was about.
Maybe he should get a drink. So Allen climbed out of bed, and then he walked slowly to the door. He went to the kitchen, filling his glass with water before taking all in big gulps, and-that had made him feel better already. So he went back to his shared bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him.
The room was dark, no lights were on, and the only source of light was the moonlight coming in from the small gap between the curtains. As if out of a habit, Allen’s eyes traced Kanda’s sleeping form and-he stepped closer, admiring how the relaxed face looked in the darkness and only illuminated by the moonlight.
So far, Allen had always seen Kanda’s sleeping face in good lighting, because usually he’d only get the chance when he was pulling an all-nighter working on his assignments. But now-
Now, with the bluish tint of the moonlight, Kanda looked-ethereal. And, well, Allen told himself that this was only because Kanda was pretty, that anyone would be entranced by such a sight and-he walked closer, kneeling by the bed just to get a better look.
His chrome eyes fell to Kanda’s lips, and Allen mused on how those lips could spew out some really foul curses and mean words, and he thought-such a pity. Then again, if Kanda was suddenly all tame and docile, that would freak him out, too.
Since he was kind of staring at Kanda’s lips, Allen noticed that they were-chapped? Just a little, but-Allen brushed his thumb across Kanda’s lips, just to make sure and-oh, yes, they were chapped. Maybe Allen could bully him into drinking some vitamins…
And before he knew it, Allen was leaning closer, and closer, down, down, down until he could feel those lips against his-soft, if a bit chapped. A contrast to the biting remarks that mouth was capable of and-
What the bloody hell was he doing?
Allen jerked back up, eyes widening in mortification as he slowly rose from his kneeling position to stand up and back away, until the back of his knees hit the frame of his own bed and-
He fell down on his bed, a hand covering his slightly parted lips as he still stared at Kanda’s figure with wide, disbelieving eyes. Had he-really just done that?
“I’m half-asleep,” Allen told himself. “It didn’t mean anything. His face was just there and-” and he was just… beautiful. So.
Shaking his head Allen dove under the covers and willed himself to sleep. Maybe in the morning his mind would be clearer. And maybe he could just-pretend that this had never happened. Kanda didn’t know about this anyway, so-
So maybe, he could just-forget.
-o-O-o-
Well, that didn’t happen.
Because starting from the next morning, Allen found himself randomly staring at Kanda’s lips for no sane reason.
Allen had tried blaming it on curiosity, though curiosity about what, he had no idea. Maybe he was only staring to make sure the jerk would actually do something about his chapped lips, and not because of the kiss? The prick would better drink those vitamins he’d given him.
Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if he had stopped at staring, but a few days later, Allen found himself in a similar situation to the one in which the first kiss had happened. Kanda’s face was just there and Allen was leaning down before he could stop himself and-
It was wonderful, the feel of Kanda’s lips against his. Even if the kiss was brief, and chaste, with lips barely brushing against each other. Allen pulled back almost immediately and started beating himself up mentally for that, but-but he just-couldn’t stop.
So help him, Allen found himself stealing kisses from Kanda again, and again, noticing the change of Kanda’s lips, from chapped to soft-and he noted pleasantly that Kanda did take the vitamin, despite the incredulous look and mocking words he’d given Allen when Allen had shoved the bottle of vitamins into his hand.
It almost became an irregular, nightly routine. And Allen did feel guilty about it-because he was taking advantage of his roommate in his asleep. And the thought hurt more than he thought it should, but-
But it felt so good that the mere thought of stopping hurt.
He was addicted.
-o-O-o-
Allen had lost count how many times he’d kissed Kanda in his sleep, but he was sure it hadn’t been that many times. The guilt was still there, a dull ache in his chest, but he’d learned to-ignore it. Or at least, to not think much about it.
‘This will be the last.’
He’d lost count of how many times he’d thought that, too.
That night, Kanda had gone to bed ahead of Allen, having been working on a project for days. It was apparent that Kanda could use some sleep. And Allen? Well-he’d been missing Kanda’s lips.
When Kanda had finally gone to bed, Allen could feel his lips starting to ache. He fiddled with his assignment a little longer than he should, having finished it but-he was waiting.
Twenty minutes later, Allen deemed it safe, so he started putting his things away-the keyboard, the pencils and the worksheet-before turning off the light.
Well.
Allen peered at Kanda. He’d never-done it this soon, it hadn’t even been 30 minutes since Kanda had fallen asleep, but-hey, Kanda looked like he was sleeping really very deeply.
So it was okay, right?
He quietly walked closer to the other’s bed, and for a moment, Allen just-stood there, watching the way the soft light fell across the other’s face. Once again, he kneeled by the bed, brushing strands of hair out of Kanda’s face, lightly, and when Kanda didn’t budge, Allen leant down further and touched his lips against Kanda’s.
He started with a light brush, but somehow, it wasn’t enough, so he pressed a little harder, lightly catching Kanda’s upper lip between his, and he moved slowly, giving light pressure over the other’s lip. Pulling back for a little breather, Allen leaned down again to take Kanda’s bottom lip this time, brushing and pressing and-
And suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder, squeezing in warning, and Allen jerked back, wide-eyed.
Kanda was awake, his dark eyes gleaming in the moonlight, looking like-like-“What. The fuck.”
And Allen didn’t know what to say.
“U-umm I... I didn’t… I-” what exactly? What could he say to justify his act? Well-nothing. Nothing, because, whatever the reason was, Allen had been taking advantage of Kanda and that-was… wrong.
So he looked down, not daring to even take a peek to see what kind of expression was there on Kanda’s face. Anger? Disgust? …something?
“I’m sorry,” he finally said, because at least he owed an apology. He knew that much. “I’m just-you were just there and-and pretty and I was just curious and-“
And Allen shut up, because he didn’t know what else to say. Kanda had been silent, and it was unnerving. He’d rather have Kanda yelling at him, throwing mocking words and sarcastic remarks, because-because then he’d know that it was alright. If Kanda stayed silent, however-
“Tch. Whatever,” Kanda finally said and Allen blinked. He looked up to Kanda’s face, but the older male was already closing his eyes, with a frown marring his face.
“Wh-what?”
“I said,” Kanda growled, “What. The fuck. Ever. I’m too tired for this. So you’re curious and I just happened to be here? Fine, it’s just a kiss anyway.”
Allen frowned at that, brows knitting in slight disapproval, because-“You say that like it doesn’t matter.”
“Because it doesn’t,” Kanda groaned his answer as he put an arm to over his eyes, looking so much like he just wanted to-go back to sleep or something.
Allen was-offended, though. And maybe, a little hurt, because-“Of course it does! Are you half-asleep?” which, Kanda probably was, but.
He heard the man growl again, and Allen was more than a little surprised when Kanda sat up in his bed to look at Allen. “It’s just a kiss,” Kanda growled at Allen. Suddenly, there was a hand at the back of Allen’s head, pulling it in Kanda’s direction, closer to his face and-
And their mouths crashed briefly, lips barely brushing against each other. Then Kanda was pulling back, leaving Allen still a little wide-eyed, and-“There,” Kanda muttered with a huff. “Just a kiss. Doesn’t fucking mean anything, does it? Now can we go on our merry ways and sleep?”
Allen could only gape as Kanda threw himself back into bed, not quite understanding what he meant and-
Oh whatever. Kanda was probably half-asleep, and Allen himself was goddamn tired. He needed to rest, clear his head and maybe-maybe he’d think of something to say tomorrow.
For now, though, Allen went back to his bed, body tired and mind full and lips tingling.
-o-O-o-
It turned out that the next morning, it was as if the kisses had never been there. Allen and Kanda stood in front of the bathroom door, hands on the knob as they tried to push each other off.
“Move,” Kanda gritted out, hands tightening halfway over Allen’s on the knob.
Allen wouldn’t budge either. “No, you move! Your fault for waking up later than usual,” Allen ground out slowly.
“Goddammit, you’re annoying.”
“And you’re irritati-ngmmpphhh?!”
Allen’s eyes were wide as he couldn’t finish his sentence because-why in the world was Kanda kissing him?
Too surprised by the sudden act, Allen’s hand became slack, and Kanda took that chance to push the boy aside, rush into the bathroom and-slam the door shut. Allen blinked, and blinked, and now he could feel heat creeping up his face, maybe from anger or embarrassment, it was hard to tell, but-“Hey, that wasn’t fair!” he shouted at the bathroom door.
“You fucking kiss me in my sleep so why the hell can’t I kiss you to get into the bathroom?” came the shouted, if a little nonchalant, reply.
Allen gaped at the door.
Did Kanda just-was this… when Kanda had said it didn’t matter, he couldn’t possibly have meant-like this?
-o-O-o-
They didn’t talk about it further. Allen never mentioned how he’d been kissing Kanda in his sleep even before that, and Kanda kept being his usual prick-y self. They went on as they were before, but there was one particular difference.
Ever since that day, both of them had taken to kissing each other as some sort of an inside joke, to take the other off guard, or just-for the hell of it.
Allen hadn’t known what to think at first, his mind trying to make sense of this new-habit, but with Kanda, it was hard to do so. The way Allen saw it, Kanda didn’t seem to be thinking about this new habit like, at all, so Allen decided that reasons be damned, he would just go with the flow. If Kanda wasn’t thinking about it, then why the hell must he mull over it and hurt his head?
After all, it wasn’t like the kisses meant anything. Allen kept that in mind all the time.
Although it had been weird at first, by now Allen had gotten used to them randomly kissing each other on the slightest whim. It was almost like a game, really. Though what was the goal, Allen didn’t know.
Like now, they had only been sitting on the couch in the living room and just finished having their dinner-Allen had ordered some Chinese takeout, because he did need to eat something non-instant every now and then.
They had been talking about some stupid TV quiz, then the talk turned into an argument, and he didn’t know who had started it, but now they were kissing again. Allen suspected that they had only meant to shut each other up, but the kiss had gotten longer and deeper, and now Allen was busy trying to keep breathing through his nose as he kept fighting off Kanda’s tongue to keep from invading his mouth. But it would seem that Allen was losing the air he needed and the fight, so he pulled back, panting, his chest heaving.
Allen didn’t know since when he’d been pushed back so that he was leaning heavily against the armrest, the only thing keeping him from lying flat on his back against it were his arms around Kanda’s neck and the older man’s hands around his back.
Kanda smirked down at him. “You lose.”
Oh, right. This was one of those that had turned into a competition, wasn’t it? To see who could last longer, but-“How long can you actually hold your breath?” Allen demanded, closing his eyes as he felt just a little lightheaded from the lack of air and the-giddy feeling that kissing brought him. Allen tried not to think much about the latter.
“Unlike you,” Kanda began, face still so smug Allen kind of wanted to wipe that grin off his face, “I’m not weak.”
Allen scowled. “I don’t think it has anything to do with being weak, prick,” the boy retorted, and once he had gained his breathing, Allen pulled himself up, untangling one arm from round Kanda for his leverage on the sofa. His lips were still tingling, and his tongue? Let’s not go there. The good thing about this arrangement, though, was that he could have his daily dose of Kanda’s kisses, so his craving for them never got too bad anymore.
Seriously, Allen blamed Cross for this. Something must have gone wrong during his upbringing. How come he liked kissing so much that it didn’t matter even if it was Kanda he was kissing?
Although-Kanda was actually a good kisser. Allen thought it wasn’t fair. Was he just a fast learner or had he actually had practice before Allen? “Where did you learn to kiss like that anyway?” Allen asked, refraining from using the word “good” because it would only serve to inflate Kanda’s ego and then he’d be insufferable.
Kanda only frowned though, eyebrows knitting in what Allen thought was-“What is it to you?” the Japanese finally replied, looking anything but pleased to have to answer the question. “It doesn’t matter. Not like this even means anything.”
Oh, right. The mantra. It didn’t mean anything, these random kisses. They did it just because it felt good, that was all.
“Of course,” Allen finally replied, disentangling himself completely from Kanda, and made to stand up. “I’ll just wash the dishes.”
And with that, Allen picked up their dirty plates and brought them to the kitchen to wash, trying not to think about Kanda’s words, because-
It didn’t matter.
That was how this whole thing was going to be, and Allen should never forget that.
-NeverEnding-
A/N: I’ll try to write the fifth installment as soon as I can. Reviews motivate me and feed my plot bunny, so please leave some? Thank you :)
Oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS to you who celebrate it =)