So this is it then.
No more trying, thinking feeling.. falling.
I give up.
On Tuesday i'm going to ask to be put back on cipramil. A high dose.
I remember what it does to me.
Kills off the sadness, but with it goes every other emotion and creative output.
You become a shell, a walking breathing, shell.
At the moment that sounds pretty good to me.
bye

When ( Read more... )

i feel like im dying.
in a way i wish i was.
i want to forget everything.

When you tell someone you love them. & You think they love you.

Arent they meant to tell you they love you?

At one point in my life. I loved three people at once.
Now i dont love ayone, and nobody loves me.

It drains the soul out of you, and knocks the wind out of your lungs.

Dylan and I's anniversary is comming up next week. (3 years) He already got me something.2 days ago I explained that we're not going in the same direction. I want to go explore, and see the world. He wants to stay home
its difficult because we're so different and we dont really agree on anything. at all.
to top that off, Im in love with victor. ( Read more... )

Isnt it funny i only update once a year.
Dylan and i live togeather
i have no friends, crystal and vic.
Vic is seventeen
i am twenty soon
I hope he isnt going through what i did at 17.

Where the hell is Vic?? : (
As usual my brain jumps straight into the worst possible ending. (he's dead)
:(
where is he? I miss talking to him :*(

dont do that dont fucking do this ( Read more... )

Do you just want me for sex?
....
"You're fat.. but it doesn't matter.. I love you, to ME you're beautiful.. Even though you are actually ugly.

Choices, choices...
How do you choose to choose the right one?
...Am i choosing dylan because he tells me he loves me...
What about matt? he's never left you alone.
How can this be the right decision..

when you're about to leave.. but you ask if i'm okay, and i say no.. and obviously i'm not ( Read more... )