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TV would be great if it weren't for the commercials.
Oh mah gah, now.
Skechers, the brand known best for making shoes that look like athletic shoes but for people who don't actually exercise ever (did you really think elevating your heels slightly and strapping a few extra ounces of material to them was going to tone your butt if all you're doing is walking twenty steps to your car to go wait in ( Read more... ) -
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...when you've spent so much time coughing over the last couple weeks that you're actually starting to develop ab muscles from it. -
Also funfact:
Like half or most of the reason why I haven't posted here since like last year (despite, you know, still having THOUGHTS and not wanting to tell any Real People them) is because at some point, for funsies, I switched the site to Russian, and then it wouldn't let me switch back to 'Merican. Only today, through the guidance of Google Translate, have ( Read more... ) -
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Achievement unlocked: Pay rent with all of* my own money this month!
Unchievement unlocked: Looking up my BFF from childhood and discovering she married someone gross and made a BABY...creature...thing. Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww whhaaaaaaaattt.
*Literally all of. -
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Why does it please me so much when I look up people I used to date, see that they are dating someone new, and that person is a definite downgrade in the looks department from me? I mean, I am not even that good-looking, but there is something so satisfying about knowing that I was the best they could do, and now I am doing better than them. -
Contrary to the last post:
Aww yiss, paid all dem bills AND put money in my savings account for the first time in over a year.
*I'm sure I'll be taking it out again in a couple of days. -
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The understanding that my job dicked me around, causing me to, in the same day, show up at assbutts-in-the-morning for a shift that I was scheduled for to find no one there AND miss a shift I wasn't scheduled for, along with the realization that I am literally right now ["technically"] pulling a no-call-no-show, is what finally, FINALLY kicks me in ( Read more... ) -
Protip for dudepeople:
If your girlfriend tells you she feels unsafe in her current situation and "jokes" that you should come over and "protect" her, she's not joking, and you should.
Also, telling her to buy a 6-pack for her harassers to "diffuse" the situation is the absolutely wrongest answer ever. -
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Expertly spiking your lunchtime fruit smoothie with vodka, so delicately you can't even taste it: It's like sneaking vitamins into kids' food, except the exact opposite.
