Well, first of all, awesome for writing something that deals with the topic. I don't know anything about you, but that makes you completely awesome in my book (no pun intended).
Anyway, I don't really know how I would want anyone to react (the equivalents of the people you're having react are, in my life, not the best people to discuss issues with), but I do know that things ought to be very, very awkward, especially for the brother, if you're looking for a realistic reaction. That might not be helpful at all, but really, I just wanted to say how awesome it is that you're writing about it.
You've got a point about the awkwardness. The brother's initial reaction is to be pissed as hell at his brother-in-law. I think I'll write some "I love you sis but I'm not sure how to treat you" kind of behavior in his later dealing with his sister.
Did the brother know the husband before it happened? What did he think of the husband? If he liked him, I think it would be good and realistic to have him struggle to believe it. If he disliked him, maybe it would be good for him to consider how much of his antipathy towards the man for his abuse of his sister is motivated by his previous dislike of him.
Just my 0.02! Really good that you're including this aspect in your novel.
The marriage was a political marriage, the sister of the king of my main country to a younger son of the king of a neighboring country. Neither the bride nor her brother the king knew the husband well before the wedding.
The bride got a bad vibe from him but didn't actually dislike him; he just gave her the willies for reasons she couldn't really explain (until of course he beat the hell out of her and raped her).
I hadn't really thought about whether the king liked or disliked or had no real opinion yet on the husband.
Should have said, I suppose the same thoughts could be extended to the mother too.
Who arranged the marriage? Had any members of the court in your country previously interacted with the husband-to-be for diplomatic reasons? If so, maybe the same processes might apply there?
Hope it all goes well, do please keep us posted about how it's going.
The parents of the bride and groom arranged the marriage. The bride's father has been dead for two years at the time of the wedding. The marriage was arranged when the bride and groom were children, not uncommon in the culture especially amongst nobility and royalty
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Maybe the mother could talk about how much she loves her daughter, and how proud she is of her, what a wonderful little girl she was, and how she grew up and became a wonderful woman, what a beautiful person she is, how much inner strength she has, and so forth. I'm picturing her saying all this in a soft, caring voice, with gentleness, but also with strength behind it, a conviction of "you are going to get through this no matter what". And she would keep talking like this, very insistently, and the force of her words and her conviction would, I think, be healing in that she'd be convincing the woman to see herself as a strong survivor, with a beautiful spirit that is still intact despite anything anyone does to her body
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warning-graphic- i wish i could help with that answer... but mine have not been supportive and for some reason i can't imagine what that would look like to have them be supportive. my husband raped me (not violently per se), but forced me painfully before i was ready cuz i was scared to perform and he was eager.... i have only confided in a couple friends about this and most told me to get over it that he deserved the sex since we married, etc.... anyways, kudos on your book idea. maybe the fantasy of having support will be healing to some of us :)
That was rape; no one "deserves" sex just because they're married. What he did to you was completely wrong. If he'd been a stranger to you, you'd have no question in your mind that it was rape. Just because he was your husband he is not off the hook.
You have every right to be upset about it and you deserve to have your pain acknowledged and healed.
your *hugs* inspired me... in my mind, my parents wouldn't have much words to say, but they would just wrap their arms around me in big safe hugs and their eyes would have tears in them for me... then they would whisper to me that they love me unconditionally... yeah.... unconditionally, and that they would be there for me at my command for any help i need... and they would guard me against future harm. maybe they would apologize for the past harm they endangered me with... my brother would realistically not be so sentimental, but more testosterone filled and would take off to find my husband and seek revenge on my behalf, not needing consent from anyone! heheee. thanks ;) for helping me imagine.
Maybe mention in the lj-cut that it's a scene in a book. You about gave me a heart attack, hon. *hugs* ♥
Onwards. I agree with whirlwitch about the reactions. Actually, reading her description of them gave me goosebumps, so she's definitely on the right track, IMO. :)
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Anyway, I don't really know how I would want anyone to react (the equivalents of the people you're having react are, in my life, not the best people to discuss issues with), but I do know that things ought to be very, very awkward, especially for the brother, if you're looking for a realistic reaction. That might not be helpful at all, but really, I just wanted to say how awesome it is that you're writing about it.
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You've got a point about the awkwardness. The brother's initial reaction is to be pissed as hell at his brother-in-law. I think I'll write some "I love you sis but I'm not sure how to treat you" kind of behavior in his later dealing with his sister.
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Just my 0.02! Really good that you're including this aspect in your novel.
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The bride got a bad vibe from him but didn't actually dislike him; he just gave her the willies for reasons she couldn't really explain (until of course he beat the hell out of her and raped her).
I hadn't really thought about whether the king liked or disliked or had no real opinion yet on the husband.
Thanks for a thought-provoking response!
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Should have said, I suppose the same thoughts could be extended to the mother too.
Who arranged the marriage? Had any members of the court in your country previously interacted with the husband-to-be for diplomatic reasons? If so, maybe the same processes might apply there?
Hope it all goes well, do please keep us posted about how it's going.
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I appreciate the help!
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You have every right to be upset about it and you deserve to have your pain acknowledged and healed.
*big safe teddy bear hugs*
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And actually, her brother is going to have him beheaded, eventually.
*more big safe teddy bear hugs*
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Onwards. I agree with whirlwitch about the reactions. Actually, reading her description of them gave me goosebumps, so she's definitely on the right track, IMO. :)
Good luck!
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