Comments | _survivors_: Panic Attack or Flashback?

wildwordwomyn in _survivors_

Panic Attack or Flashback?

Aug 31, 2007 07:56

Monday night, after watching a movie that involved incest, I had either a panic attack or a flashback. All I know is I was in bed and I started getting really scared and crying and my body shook for quite a while. My girlfriend moved in with me on Sunday so a couple friends think that brought it on. Maybe it did, but I'm thinking it was more about ( Read more... )

victim-blaming, abuse: sibling, flashbacks

Comments 15

I'm so sorry this happenned to you... igosm August 31 2007, 13:55:11 UTC

Panic Attack or flash back - it is a distinction without a difference in this case (It would be both) This process of feeling scared and crying is processing the hurt of before. I personally think it's a healthy thing to work through the emotions of before. It sounds like you don't actually remember how it was then so you probably dealt with the shock of it all by freezing yourself, freezing the memory. Why did you freeze? Lot's of people freeze. They freeze when they cannot run and hide when nothing they do will avoid something awful. So you freeze (leaving your body a bit I'd wager) and you do it in order to protect your core. You were surviving. That's why you froze. Now you are grown and the abuse is over and you have to heal. You have to heal in order to rise above what happenned to you. The very best revenge... The way to GET EVEN. Is to have a full life with all that intails. But unfairly you have to work to get back to zero. You have to process the memories and the feelings. You have to come to terms with it ( ... )

Re: I'm so sorry this happenned to you... wildwordwomyn August 31 2007, 15:04:36 UTC

Oh, thank you thank you thank you! Sounds like you understand completely! I'll be telling my shrink about Monday next time I see him. We'll see what he says...Just gonna take each day as it comes.

P.S. Thanks also for talking about freezing as a natural reaction. It makes me feel better to read that.

blueserenity22 August 31 2007, 14:03:24 UTC

I don't think the "why" is really all that important. It was an instinctual reaction to a horrible situation.

Your mom needs a reality check, if she thinks that you not fighting it means you're to blame. What about her son? He has no responsibility in this at all? Right. She sounds like a person that you should only have limited (if any) contact with.

*hugs if they're wanted* Take care ♥

wildwordwomyn August 31 2007, 14:52:31 UTC

Thanks for your support. I need it more than I admit. And, yes, hugs are definitely accepted:)

blueserenity22 August 31 2007, 14:55:53 UTC

You're welcome. Try to do something extra nice for yourself today, you've been dealing with a lot recently. :)

wildwordwomyn August 31 2007, 15:07:34 UTC

Yeah, I have. Gonna hang with my girlfriend tonight and watch movies and take a bath later with some lit candles and music. That's all I want. Hell, I may even sing to myself. On key no less...

Thread 7

sistahraven August 31 2007, 16:20:05 UTC

Sounds like you had a bit of both, and I completely understand why - that's a really triggering thing to see in a movie. So many people don't realize that it's instinct for humans to freeze... that sometimes we never have the ability to fight back or run away. And too many people think that means consent, when it doesn't. We were so against what was happening to us that our brains overloaded... that's the opposite of consent!

wildwordwomyn August 31 2007, 16:29:17 UTC

I love this community because no one understands what we go through but other survivors. My head knows I didn't consent but my body needs more convincing I think. Keep your fingers crossed.

Wierdest thing for me is how small I feel when these attacks occur. I've had 2 now and it's like I become the little girl I don't remember being all over again. Makes sense, but it's almost as scary as the attacks themselves. Is that normal?

sistahraven August 31 2007, 17:27:24 UTC

Completely normal! It's called regression. When you're triggered back to a particular instance of abuse, it's not unusual for your mind to go back to that age for a while. It's like putting back on the clothes you were wearing at the time, except you're putting back on the mindset you were in. I often go back to being 6 or 7 in my bigger flashbacks or panic attacks about specific abuse.

wildwordwomyn August 31 2007, 17:30:06 UTC

Ah, okay. I'll have to start getting used to the attacks/flash backs I think. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one regressing.

leeoakfire August 31 2007, 16:46:17 UTC

As others have said, it is instinct to freeze when under attack. Just think of a rabbit in a field as a hawk hoovers overhead. The rabbit freezes, the hawk doesn't see movement, the hawk goes away, th rabbit survives. If the rabbit moves one muscle even a teensy,tiny bit then the hawk swoops in and eats that rabbit! A young child is acting on instinct because they have had less of life to teach them alternative ways of coping with attack.

It sounds to me like your mom is playing a very hardball game of blaming you so that she doesn't have to look at how she failed with her parenting. Juat takes whatever she says on that and realize she is really, deep down, talking about herself.

wildwordwomyn August 31 2007, 17:07:47 UTC

Good analogy! Sounds like me, because I still freeze now on occasion when it comes to emotional conversations or feelings I don't want to have. My mother, my shrink and I have decided, has issues of her own that caused/cause her to react the way she does. Hopefully one of these days I'll be able to accept that...