Well here I am almost through my first afternoon of my weeks vacation. Always find that these kind of days go by pretty quickly. Haven’t done all that much although I feel as if I did. Again, it is this awful heat. I find it so draining at times. Coincidently my first day of vacation corresponded to the day that I was cashing in one of my savings ( Read more... )

I like to call myself a functioning addict or a responsible junky - an oxymoron if I have ever heard on. You ask what makes me so different or special from other junkies or addicts? Well, nothing really except the amount of work involved. It is much harder to be a functioning addict. You are forced to live two very separate and distinct lives. Your ( Read more... )

Well I sure as heck felt that last one. Had my boyfriend do me this time as any of the hits that I had done on myself today seemed really lame ass. Well that solves that mystery or something...I've done enough shit today that I should by really flying but this will certainly suffice. No question about the dope's quality as we have only been doing ( Read more... )

I am taking a bit of a break from my sewing which is going well. My back is starting to ache so I needed a change of position. Got one camisole all finished and it looks sweet. Wish my digital camera was working cause then I could show it off but no.........Anyway, just did a nice hit of dilaudid and am starting to feel no pain. Still have a bit of ( Read more... )

Well most of my mood is my own fault but still...My head is just aching and I am really hot and sweaty right now plus I didn't plan well enough that we have nothing for tonight. We just split an oxy 80 but until the morning, that's all she wrote folks. Grrr. Plus I had to walk almost all of the way home after work - well, not to my home. I had to ( Read more... )

I started methadone August of 1999. By then I was a solid year and a half into a pretty heavy opiate addiction. It had started with dilaudid but as soon as we were able we had moved on to heroin. We live in a funny city. While it is reasonably large with close to half a million, it is near impossible to find heroin here. Except for a time in the ( Read more... )

I just don't get it - it is now 3:19pm and I was dropped off to work an hour and a half ago. My boyfriend was to pick up another friend, they were to go over to collect some oxys around the corner from my work and then drop them off to me. Realistically, it should have taken no more than 40 minutes maximum and I am being way generous with my time. ( Read more... )

Oh my goodness...I am at work but I am just lit. I scored earlier today and my boyfriend and I split six dilaudid #8s before I went to work. Whoa. It's warm outside on top of everything else so I am pretty toasty right about now. I just inhaled a large Tim Horton's iced cappacino and I am still thirsty - and now a wee bit quesy. Hah, serves me ( Read more... )

For some reason, I decided to try my mainline - by that I mean the vein where your arm bends. I haven't gone there in years - maybe five or six cause way back when I was having so much trouble that I kind of gave up on it. I guess that it has had long enough to recover cause got it first time I tried. After that I was feeling kind of arrogant so I ( Read more... )

I am beside myself. I don't know what is happening to my body or why I can no longer hit. I am at work right now with two full syringes of speed and one of dilaudid. I try to do the speed on my first break but no luck. Now I have a syringe filled with blood. It isn't clogged or anything. I just can't seem to flag anything anymore. I don't know why ( Read more... )