Where has the time gone? Seriously!!! Nothing like the mundane of everyday life getting in one's way, successfully obscuring what is actually going on right in front of them, never mind all around them, that's for bloody sure. Combine this with "if it ain't broke..." it is fairly easy to see how we are able to become pretty complacent, soldiering ( Read more... )

After running into our old friend and dealer the other day, it suddenly occurred to me the number of females that we know who found themselves pregnant in the past two years, have given birth, and yet do not currently have custody of their newborn. Ashley was just the most recent of at least a half a dozen, or even more. Of all of these women, I am ( Read more... )

OK, so the original reason that I started my rant the other day regarding my former dealer was the fact that we unexpectantly ran into him and his girlfriend, and this meeting was still fresh in my mind. Considering the size of the city that I live in - just shy of 400 000 - it's surprising, but by no means disappointing, that I've managed to avoid ( Read more... )

One of the first things that Jim and I did once we had both reached our stable dose of methadone, after paying off all of our outstanding bills, both legitimate and not, was move as far away as possible from the locale that almost proved to be the scene of our undoing. Just as quickly as we were able to move, we both got rid of our jobs, and found ( Read more... )

I ask that you bear with me a moment or two until I am able to get my bearings, as I am literally still spinning from yet another attack against Methadone Maintenance Treatment from someone who doesn't have a bloody clue what it even is or entails! Grant me patience, now. First of all, I live in southwestern Ontario, Canada, and because of this ( Read more... )

Sometimes it's hard reading some of my old entries, yet when I do, I am able to see exactly how far I've managed to come in a relatively short period of time. It's even hard recognizing me as the same person. It seems like it was an entirely different life. Yet, I never, ever want to forget this time because I'd rather not repeat any of this again ( Read more... )

From the moment I changed the way I was going to record my deepest, darkest & most personal & private thoughts & feelings, I made sure that I oh, so enthusiastically dove in feet first with no regard or thought to possible or potential future issues & problems lying patiently in wait just to wreak havoc on my otherwise chaotic existence. While ( Read more... )

This entry was actually first written 2006-01-18 22:39:03

I can not describe the change I have felt in myself personally since I finally made the commitment to return to methadone. A proverbial weight has most definitely been lifted from my very overwhelmed shoulders. I feel as if I have somehow been released from a life sentence and suddenly I can ( Read more... )

FROM THE ARCHIVES ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED 2006-03-15

Both Jim and I pretty much knew that it was simply a matter of time before he got pulled over and notified that his license was under suspension but neither one of us thought that it would be done in quite as spectacular way as it was yesterday. We knew that he was very much on borrowed time but we ( Read more... )

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