Comments | _kmf_: (без темы)

_kmf_

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Feb 22, 2007 14:20

I feel sick. I've just gone and booked (and paid for) tickets to visit New Zealand later on this year. I shouldn't feel sick, afterall it's just a holiday. I'm not packing up and leaving the UK permanently. But I do feel horrible now that I have booked ( Read more... )

Comments 5

hey there ariel72 February 22 2007, 15:56:50 UTC

No no no.. its not a midlife crisis.. Take your holiday and savor getting out of town. Relatives will suck up the kids and love them and you can just breathe and enjoy the change in scenery. You need it, you deserve it and you damn well better take it :) Ian was your love, your life and a big chunk of your soul left when he did. Fill yourself with the land of your youth and family and find yourself a new direction. Do you take in a new career? Do you find new friends to be with? Lots of possibilities. You will never truly feel ready to move on, but setting up tickets to get away is a good idea. Put yourself in Ian's shoes for a moment. If it had been you that left this earth and he were sad and had a hard time moving on, what would you suggest for him? Get away and see something other than the quiet house and the four walls that seem so close they start closing in. You are absolutely doing the right thing. I am curious as to why you feel sick about it? It's just holiday to start. Give yourself something nice to look forward to. If not ( ... )

Re: hey there _kmf_ February 22 2007, 18:03:43 UTC

I think the reason why its making me feel so worried is that it could be the beginning of a change. It will be my first major decision since Ian died and for the last 15 years any major decision has been a joint one. This time, if things go pear shaped it will be my sole responsibility.

I've always had strong men in my life that have offered an opinion as to what I should do. My father was terrible for doing so and for the most part that made my path clear because I would always do the opposite of anything he said. (I became a vegetarian for five years just to piss him off). Then Ian was there and he always knew exactly what he wanted to do and I followed and I was happy to do so.

Now, its just me. Part of me wishes my Dad was still about to offer guidance. (Which I would probably ignore!).

Re: hey there ariel72 February 22 2007, 18:21:50 UTC

Well, if you believe any of the tv psychics like John Edward, your loved ones are still around you. You can always try thinking or verbalizing a question or something to dad or Ian and see if anyone responds.. usually by some sign that you would recognize as only possible, such as butterflies, flickering lamps, or thoughts coming clearly to your head.. but I wasn't sure if you ever thought that far about the afterlife ( ... )

Re: hey there ohsochewy February 22 2007, 19:20:41 UTC

Given your life with Ian, though, his influence shapes how you think, and part of him is in the boys. Even though you're the one saying things out loud, you know that the decision is by no means completely yours. He would want what's best for the family, and sometimes you just have to take risks.

ohsochewy February 22 2007, 19:18:06 UTC

I let every vacation be a trial run :) Treading water means that you're still upright and alive. your kids are young. That said, you have a lot of opportunities everywhere. Don't force yourself to think that it's bad to stay in the UK or it's bad to think about relocating to NZ. Everything has an upside.

Connecting with their family is very important for the kids. Go and have fun. I hope you have a wonderful time.