I'm not a bad person. I mean, I try. I'm a provider. These minions? Would probably live horribly long lives without me, only to die slowly at the ravages of their own weak little bodies. What kind of life is that? Besides, they love worshiping me! Who wouldn't ( Read more... )

I ran into some zen buddhists monk things down here. Werewolves killed in battle or something. I don't know. They're going to zen me up.

I am one with nature. The ice, the glaciers, the endless cold. Ahmmmmmmmmmm...

Ahmmmmm...

I am calmmmmmm...

Searching for Nirvanaaaa...

Ahmmm...

Ugh, will someone just hand me a coat? God!

I don't know why I never liked this dimension. It's got it's quirks, but it's totally suitable for a god like me. I should really be nicer to everyone. Not everything is about me. All the clothes, the fancy foods, the torturing endless masses...it's just so...so not me. I'm better than that. I think I'm worth more, right ( Read more... )

What? Why did you bring me this? It's UGLY! *tosses the ugly belt away as if disgusted for ever touching it* Hello? Do I look like I wear ugly things ( Read more... )

Okay, now I'm annoyed. That's the 345th attempt to escape this place and where am I??!!

"You, you are still in hell, your most squeezably soft one."

Exactly. And that's what's wrong with this picture. *looks out the window and spies vampdylan* Why is that vampire looking at me? I know he's looking at me. God, it's this top, isn't it? It's too five ( Read more... )

Oh. So that's what she's up to. Now I'm disappointed. I thought this was a great scheme to get me out of this place! But, oh, no, this little girl wants to spy on the place that damned me to this hell hole. Literally. God!

Does no one think of my feelings?

*sighs* I need a foot massage. Minions!

My little minion is up to something. I don't know what, but she's been taking stuff from my normal minions. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, it's like she's taking from me. I provide for her, prevent her from experiencing torment like nothing she's ever felt, and this is how she repays me? On the other hand, it's evil. And I like ( Read more... )

Wait a minute here...

Wasn't I supposed to be doing something?

*shrugs and rolls back over on Seth*

God, that was sex worthy of me.

So, the minions say there's gonna be a big show down in Sunnyhell. I hear you were just there. You got something to do with it, baby? Or are you just an 'innocent' god looking to wander around in hell trampling all over my good territory, huh?

Come on! Talk! I don't have all day, God!