NOW it's posted!
Title: Don't Let Go
Author: myforgottenpain
Pairing: Vam
Rating: R for language and violence.
Summary: “Don't let go... because if you won't, then I won't...”
Disclaimer: I don't own anything connected to Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. (Or anyone else mentioned) Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. The only character I own in this whole story is Eevi. Additionally the title and summary obviously belong to our lovely Ville.
Authors Notes: This story has been about five years in the making. I'm still shocked that this is happening. Hopefully it will be as good as I hope it is.
Guest appearances made by: Johnny Knoxville, Brandon Novak, Ryan Dunn, Larui Ylonen, Anita and Kari Valo, the always beautiful Jonne “little pixie” Aaron, Tuomas from Nightwish, Jussi and Jyrki from 69 Eyes and the men of Apocalyptica. So many pretty Finns! Do I have enough?
**I can't believe I forgot this... but this is a vampire fic... so it's AU. xD and dedicated to the lovely beta: Slasher48 thanks again darling!
The closer that Bam got to the towers, the more tired he felt. With every block that passed it seemed a weight was being placed on his shoulders, and because of it, he found it increasingly hard to stay alert. By the time he reached the cement stairs that lead into the building, Bam literally stumbled off his skateboard. Yawning, he scooped his board up and walked into the building.
His eyes shot open when he realized he had walked right into a wall. An elderly couple sighed and shook their heads, assuming he was drunk, but in truth Bam was completely sober. With eyes barely open, Bam continued walking down the hall. Reaching out with his left hand, he touched the wall, trying to find some stability in a world that seemed to be turning on him.
Blinking, Bam leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down it till his knee touched the plush carpet. He wanted nothing more than to just lie down and sleep. Yet, something was pulling him on down the hall. He had to move, crawl if he had to, but he could not sleep in the hallway. Groaning, Bam pushed off the wall and stumbled on shaky legs the rest of the way to his room.
Why was he so tired? It just didn't make sense. Carelessly dropping his possessions, Bam fell into bed, asleep even before his head hit the pillow.
The light of the hallway lit Bam's prone body until a shadow engulfed it. A hand reached out and opened the door more, allowing a brief creaking noise to break the eerie silence. Bam did not move, too deeply asleep to know that anything else was happening. Slowly, the light disappeared as the door was shut, the figure moving to the side of Bam's bed, gazing down at him.
****
Ville's eyes dilated, adjusting to the darkness of the room. He saw everything, smelled everything, especially the mortal before him. He moved towards him, knowing that Bam wouldn't wake up. His knee hit the side of the bed, causing just the slightest of impressions on the bed, no more than what a small animal would. On his hands and knees, Ville moved over Bam's body, taking everything in until he reached his face. There he gazed at Bam's profile, brushing the tip of his nose along Bam's cheek, smelling his skin. His eyes moved to the bulging vein on Bam's neck, and his mouth tingled with the thought of piercing his flesh, and tasting the blood that coursed within.
Letting his eyes fall shut, Ville leaned in and places the smallest of kisses on the vein, followed by two like it. He drug the tip of his tongue along Bam's neck and to his jaw, as a smirk crossed Ville's lips, and a chuckle filled the air. Holding himself above Bam, Ville reached out and ran his hand over Bam's hair, playing with the soft brown locks, twirling the curls around his finger.
"My Bam..." Ville whispered to him softly, cupping the side of his face with one hand. He brushed his thumb over Bam's lips, trying to understand what only humans could know. "My Bam..." He whispered again, leaning in so his lips were by Bam's ear. "Mine... My Bam... mine... all mine..." He whispered, kissing Bam's ear. Drawing in a breath that was almost a sigh, Ville sat up. "You should be comfortable, love." Standing up swiftly, he walked off the bed. Standing next to it, he undid Bam's shoes and removed his socks. Carefully he pulled off Bam's shirt, pants, and jacket, leaving him in his boxers. After all, this was how Bam always slept. Tossing Bam's clothes on the floor, amid the rest, Ville carefully tucked Bam into bed.
Sitting on the bed, Ville went back to playing with Bam's hair, gazing down at him. He started humming to himself, in a soft tone at first that was barely audible. Slowly, it started to rise, beautiful in its simplicity. If Bam had been awake he would have cried from the emotions it stirred. The room filled with the echo of Ville's voice as he moved to lie down next to Bam. He tipped his head to the side, his eyes barely open as he continued to play with Bam's hair. Ville's song did not need any words, for the effect was done enough with the melody itself. He leaned in and pressed his forehead against Bam's, his hand on the side of Bam's head.
"Let me in..." he whispered, even if his lips were barely moving. "Let me in..."
****
Ville's eyes shot open as he cried out in surprise. He practically flung himself backwards from Bam, wanting to get far away from him as possible. Scrambling off of the bed, he didn't stop until his back hit the wall. Then, with eyes tightly shut, Ville attempted to calm down. Over and over again in his mind he saw the most horrible thing he could think of. When peeking into Bam's dreams for the first time, he had not expected this to happen. His eyes slowly opened as Bam whimpered in his sleep, wiggling around in the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks. The scorching desire to be here and to have this moment had cooled in the wake of its effect on the innocent mortal youth.
Quickly, Ville moved back to the bed, crawling onto it once more. Kneeling next to Bam, he placed his hands on either side of the youth’s face so he could lift his head off the pillow. Leaning forward, Ville let his lips brush against Bam's. "Sleep my love... sleep...” Slowly, Bam's body went limp again, his mind void of anything it might have conjured when Ville was invading it. Replacing Bam's head on the pillow, Ville gently brushed his tears away and smoothed his hair.
Ville slowly moved off the bed, tucking Bam back into it. "Sleep, my Bam." He whispered with one last look. "Sleep with your beautiful, innocent, mortal dreams." A flicker of sadness crept into Ville's eyes before he turned quickly for the sliding glass doors. He stopped, looking back at Bam once more, waiting for the gentle inhale of air that comes with peaceful sleep. Once it happened he walked through the door, leaving it open before walking across the balcony. Hopping onto the railing, he took in a breath and smiled, jumping down and disappearing into the night.
***
“Brandon!”
He jerked awake finally when her piercing voice broke through his subconscious. He groaned in misery, heavy with exhaustion. “Good morning, Mom.”
April frowned and crossed her arms. She was a slender woman with perfectly styled hair and elegant, designer clothes. Addicted to Botox, she was convinced she looked half her true age, when she actually looked rather scary. “Are you ever going to get out of bed?”
“Maybe?” Bam offered, pulling his pillow over his head.
Her eyes showed the disgust she was feeling. “You are pathetic.” She sneered, shaking her head. “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”
Bam sighed, “Up at 5 am every day, kissing the wife and kids goodbye before he heads off to work. He performs his civic duty between 9 to 5 and then he’s home to have a pipe and newspaper while his kids play at his feet and his wife makes dinner in the kitchen…”
“I hate you.” April snapped, “I wish I had never wasted my time and energy bringing your ungrateful ass into this world.”
Bam frowned, trying not to think about how much this hurt, how much he longed for a type of love he would never know. “I love you too.” He whispered softly.
The sound of her hand against his cheek was as sharp as the pain that raced through his skin. “Couldn’t you forget how to come home one night? Get lost with those obnoxious friends of yours and never come back to plague my life?”
He knew there were tears brimming in his eyes and he struggled to hold them back. “It’s always about you, isn’t?”
April rolled her eyes. “No Brandon, it’s always about you. My husband…”
“My father.” Bam pointed out softly, eyes on his blanket.
Fire flared in her eyes, before she corrected him. “My husband… has let you get away with too much.”
Bam laughed with a touch of bitterness to it. “Oh yes… he was so instrumental in my life. The hour or so I would see him every week. The nannies saw me more than either of you… not that they could bother much with me either.” Bam snapped, pushing his blanket away so he could get out of bed.
April looked away, not sure which disgusted her more: the sight of her son in his boxers, or her son in general. “You are a disgrace to this family.” She said just loud enough for him to hear, before turning on the heel of her dress shoe. “I mourn the day you were born.” She finished, before leaving the room.
“I’m surprised you bothered to remember it at all!” Bam yelled throwing the first thing he could reach at the door she had just closed. It happened to be a half full bottle of vodka which shattered against the wood surface.
***
"Fine! I'll stay!"
"For real?" Johnny asked, relief flooding his voice.
"Yeah... God... you're worse than a mother." Bam mumbled, continuing down the street so he could follow Ryan, Johnny, and Novak home.
"When was the last time you spoke to your mom?" Novak asked while shoving his hands into his pockets.
Bam was silent for a moment, before finally answering, "This morning, but it had been at least four months before that. She only came back because dad got sick."
Novak nodded, looking down at the sidewalk as they continued walking. “How bad is it this time?”
Bam shrugged, “I don’t know.” He was silent as well. “He called me into his office long enough to knock me around the room for a little bit and remind me of my obligations to my family.”
“I’m sorry…” Novak said softly.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about…” Bam said, shrugging it off. “Just business as usual in the Margera household.”
Three of the four friends enjoyed the silence that lingered between them, while one repeatedly looked back through the corner of his eyes. "Thank you."
Bam looked to Johnny, then behind them, trying to see what he was looking at. "For what?"
“For coming with us…” Johnny answered, meeting Bam’s gaze for a moment.
Bam smiled, “At least I won’t have to hear about Jess’s business mergers and executive board meetings.”
Johnny smiled a little, even if it was touched with apprehension. “That does sound very stimulating…”
“My dad kicked my ass the last time I went to one.” Bam said.
Ryan chuckled, “Because you fell asleep.”
“And were snoring.” Novak added as well.
“And drooling on the steak tartar.” Johnny finished, even if it was a slight exaggeration.
Bam laughed anyways, glad for the distraction, even if he had been serious when he said that his father had kicked his ass. He had earned two broken ribs and a fractured arm from dozing through precious Jess’s speech on foreign policies.
“Well…” Johnny said, drawing in a breath since he once more felt like there was something just under the surface that shouldn’t be laughed at. “We’ll have some real fun tonight. We can get drunk, eat our weight in fast food and maybe pick up some loose women?”
Bam smiled, though somewhat sadly. “I’m not much in the mood for real partying.”
“Something bothering you?” Ryan asked.
“I just… haven’t been sleeping well.” Bam said softly. “I can sleep for hours… but I still wake up exhausted.”
“Just like Johnny.” Ryan said, looking at their friend, who was once more looking behind them. “He’s been really restless the last few nights.”
“Probably too busy dreaming about your mom, Bam.” Novak joked.
“She is a hottie.” Bam followed the joke, looking to Johnny expecting some sort of retort, surprised when nothing came. “Johnny?”
There was a visible tremble that went through Johnny’s body before he started walking quicker. “Can we just hurry home?”
***
A gentle breeze blew in from the window, rustling the thin sheet that hung in front of it. Bam was asleep on the couch, sprawled across it in a pair of jeans that were hanging low on his hips from his movement. A thin blanket that was probably as old as Bam was draped over his lower body.
He was having a fitful dream about his parents and not the vampire that had been plaguing him. He whimpered softly, eyes shut tightly as he struggled against the memories of violence and neglect.
That was until a shadow fell over him and a hand touched his cheek gently. Then, he drew in a deep breath and for the first time, relaxed.
Ville sat on the edge of the couch, touching Bam’s face lovingly as he gazed at the mortal in the same manner. There was such misery in Bam’s thoughts and dreams. Ville had been so drawn to it at first… in love with the idea and the experience of it as only a human could experience it. Yet something had changed. Now… he didn’t want to see it in Bam now. He wanted something more… something better. He longed to stay here every night with Bam and ease the pain that was so heavy on his heart.
“What have you done to me, Bam?” Ville whispered softly, running his fingers through Bam’s hair, watching as the mortal slept peacefully. “What… have you done?” He asked the skater softly, leaning in to kiss Bam on the cheek before he slipped out of the room and back into the night.
Chapter One
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4231585.html?view=59579041#t59579041
Chapter Two
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4233775.html#cutid1
Chapter Three
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4240673.html?view=59682337#t59682337
Author: myforgottenpain
Pairing: Vam
Rating: R for language and violence.
Summary: “Don't let go... because if you won't, then I won't...”
Disclaimer: I don't own anything connected to Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. (Or anyone else mentioned) Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. The only character I own in this whole story is Eevi. Additionally the title and summary obviously belong to our lovely Ville.
Authors Notes: This story has been about five years in the making. I'm still shocked that this is happening. Hopefully it will be as good as I hope it is.
Guest appearances made by: Johnny Knoxville, Brandon Novak, Ryan Dunn, Larui Ylonen, Anita and Kari Valo, the always beautiful Jonne “little pixie” Aaron, Tuomas from Nightwish, Jussi and Jyrki from 69 Eyes and the men of Apocalyptica. So many pretty Finns! Do I have enough?
**I can't believe I forgot this... but this is a vampire fic... so it's AU. xD and dedicated to the lovely beta: Slasher48 thanks again darling!
The closer that Bam got to the towers, the more tired he felt. With every block that passed it seemed a weight was being placed on his shoulders, and because of it, he found it increasingly hard to stay alert. By the time he reached the cement stairs that lead into the building, Bam literally stumbled off his skateboard. Yawning, he scooped his board up and walked into the building.
His eyes shot open when he realized he had walked right into a wall. An elderly couple sighed and shook their heads, assuming he was drunk, but in truth Bam was completely sober. With eyes barely open, Bam continued walking down the hall. Reaching out with his left hand, he touched the wall, trying to find some stability in a world that seemed to be turning on him.
Blinking, Bam leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down it till his knee touched the plush carpet. He wanted nothing more than to just lie down and sleep. Yet, something was pulling him on down the hall. He had to move, crawl if he had to, but he could not sleep in the hallway. Groaning, Bam pushed off the wall and stumbled on shaky legs the rest of the way to his room.
Why was he so tired? It just didn't make sense. Carelessly dropping his possessions, Bam fell into bed, asleep even before his head hit the pillow.
The light of the hallway lit Bam's prone body until a shadow engulfed it. A hand reached out and opened the door more, allowing a brief creaking noise to break the eerie silence. Bam did not move, too deeply asleep to know that anything else was happening. Slowly, the light disappeared as the door was shut, the figure moving to the side of Bam's bed, gazing down at him.
****
Ville's eyes dilated, adjusting to the darkness of the room. He saw everything, smelled everything, especially the mortal before him. He moved towards him, knowing that Bam wouldn't wake up. His knee hit the side of the bed, causing just the slightest of impressions on the bed, no more than what a small animal would. On his hands and knees, Ville moved over Bam's body, taking everything in until he reached his face. There he gazed at Bam's profile, brushing the tip of his nose along Bam's cheek, smelling his skin. His eyes moved to the bulging vein on Bam's neck, and his mouth tingled with the thought of piercing his flesh, and tasting the blood that coursed within.
Letting his eyes fall shut, Ville leaned in and places the smallest of kisses on the vein, followed by two like it. He drug the tip of his tongue along Bam's neck and to his jaw, as a smirk crossed Ville's lips, and a chuckle filled the air. Holding himself above Bam, Ville reached out and ran his hand over Bam's hair, playing with the soft brown locks, twirling the curls around his finger.
"My Bam..." Ville whispered to him softly, cupping the side of his face with one hand. He brushed his thumb over Bam's lips, trying to understand what only humans could know. "My Bam..." He whispered again, leaning in so his lips were by Bam's ear. "Mine... My Bam... mine... all mine..." He whispered, kissing Bam's ear. Drawing in a breath that was almost a sigh, Ville sat up. "You should be comfortable, love." Standing up swiftly, he walked off the bed. Standing next to it, he undid Bam's shoes and removed his socks. Carefully he pulled off Bam's shirt, pants, and jacket, leaving him in his boxers. After all, this was how Bam always slept. Tossing Bam's clothes on the floor, amid the rest, Ville carefully tucked Bam into bed.
Sitting on the bed, Ville went back to playing with Bam's hair, gazing down at him. He started humming to himself, in a soft tone at first that was barely audible. Slowly, it started to rise, beautiful in its simplicity. If Bam had been awake he would have cried from the emotions it stirred. The room filled with the echo of Ville's voice as he moved to lie down next to Bam. He tipped his head to the side, his eyes barely open as he continued to play with Bam's hair. Ville's song did not need any words, for the effect was done enough with the melody itself. He leaned in and pressed his forehead against Bam's, his hand on the side of Bam's head.
"Let me in..." he whispered, even if his lips were barely moving. "Let me in..."
****
Ville's eyes shot open as he cried out in surprise. He practically flung himself backwards from Bam, wanting to get far away from him as possible. Scrambling off of the bed, he didn't stop until his back hit the wall. Then, with eyes tightly shut, Ville attempted to calm down. Over and over again in his mind he saw the most horrible thing he could think of. When peeking into Bam's dreams for the first time, he had not expected this to happen. His eyes slowly opened as Bam whimpered in his sleep, wiggling around in the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks. The scorching desire to be here and to have this moment had cooled in the wake of its effect on the innocent mortal youth.
Quickly, Ville moved back to the bed, crawling onto it once more. Kneeling next to Bam, he placed his hands on either side of the youth’s face so he could lift his head off the pillow. Leaning forward, Ville let his lips brush against Bam's. "Sleep my love... sleep...” Slowly, Bam's body went limp again, his mind void of anything it might have conjured when Ville was invading it. Replacing Bam's head on the pillow, Ville gently brushed his tears away and smoothed his hair.
Ville slowly moved off the bed, tucking Bam back into it. "Sleep, my Bam." He whispered with one last look. "Sleep with your beautiful, innocent, mortal dreams." A flicker of sadness crept into Ville's eyes before he turned quickly for the sliding glass doors. He stopped, looking back at Bam once more, waiting for the gentle inhale of air that comes with peaceful sleep. Once it happened he walked through the door, leaving it open before walking across the balcony. Hopping onto the railing, he took in a breath and smiled, jumping down and disappearing into the night.
***
“Brandon!”
He jerked awake finally when her piercing voice broke through his subconscious. He groaned in misery, heavy with exhaustion. “Good morning, Mom.”
April frowned and crossed her arms. She was a slender woman with perfectly styled hair and elegant, designer clothes. Addicted to Botox, she was convinced she looked half her true age, when she actually looked rather scary. “Are you ever going to get out of bed?”
“Maybe?” Bam offered, pulling his pillow over his head.
Her eyes showed the disgust she was feeling. “You are pathetic.” She sneered, shaking her head. “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”
Bam sighed, “Up at 5 am every day, kissing the wife and kids goodbye before he heads off to work. He performs his civic duty between 9 to 5 and then he’s home to have a pipe and newspaper while his kids play at his feet and his wife makes dinner in the kitchen…”
“I hate you.” April snapped, “I wish I had never wasted my time and energy bringing your ungrateful ass into this world.”
Bam frowned, trying not to think about how much this hurt, how much he longed for a type of love he would never know. “I love you too.” He whispered softly.
The sound of her hand against his cheek was as sharp as the pain that raced through his skin. “Couldn’t you forget how to come home one night? Get lost with those obnoxious friends of yours and never come back to plague my life?”
He knew there were tears brimming in his eyes and he struggled to hold them back. “It’s always about you, isn’t?”
April rolled her eyes. “No Brandon, it’s always about you. My husband…”
“My father.” Bam pointed out softly, eyes on his blanket.
Fire flared in her eyes, before she corrected him. “My husband… has let you get away with too much.”
Bam laughed with a touch of bitterness to it. “Oh yes… he was so instrumental in my life. The hour or so I would see him every week. The nannies saw me more than either of you… not that they could bother much with me either.” Bam snapped, pushing his blanket away so he could get out of bed.
April looked away, not sure which disgusted her more: the sight of her son in his boxers, or her son in general. “You are a disgrace to this family.” She said just loud enough for him to hear, before turning on the heel of her dress shoe. “I mourn the day you were born.” She finished, before leaving the room.
“I’m surprised you bothered to remember it at all!” Bam yelled throwing the first thing he could reach at the door she had just closed. It happened to be a half full bottle of vodka which shattered against the wood surface.
***
"Fine! I'll stay!"
"For real?" Johnny asked, relief flooding his voice.
"Yeah... God... you're worse than a mother." Bam mumbled, continuing down the street so he could follow Ryan, Johnny, and Novak home.
"When was the last time you spoke to your mom?" Novak asked while shoving his hands into his pockets.
Bam was silent for a moment, before finally answering, "This morning, but it had been at least four months before that. She only came back because dad got sick."
Novak nodded, looking down at the sidewalk as they continued walking. “How bad is it this time?”
Bam shrugged, “I don’t know.” He was silent as well. “He called me into his office long enough to knock me around the room for a little bit and remind me of my obligations to my family.”
“I’m sorry…” Novak said softly.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about…” Bam said, shrugging it off. “Just business as usual in the Margera household.”
Three of the four friends enjoyed the silence that lingered between them, while one repeatedly looked back through the corner of his eyes. "Thank you."
Bam looked to Johnny, then behind them, trying to see what he was looking at. "For what?"
“For coming with us…” Johnny answered, meeting Bam’s gaze for a moment.
Bam smiled, “At least I won’t have to hear about Jess’s business mergers and executive board meetings.”
Johnny smiled a little, even if it was touched with apprehension. “That does sound very stimulating…”
“My dad kicked my ass the last time I went to one.” Bam said.
Ryan chuckled, “Because you fell asleep.”
“And were snoring.” Novak added as well.
“And drooling on the steak tartar.” Johnny finished, even if it was a slight exaggeration.
Bam laughed anyways, glad for the distraction, even if he had been serious when he said that his father had kicked his ass. He had earned two broken ribs and a fractured arm from dozing through precious Jess’s speech on foreign policies.
“Well…” Johnny said, drawing in a breath since he once more felt like there was something just under the surface that shouldn’t be laughed at. “We’ll have some real fun tonight. We can get drunk, eat our weight in fast food and maybe pick up some loose women?”
Bam smiled, though somewhat sadly. “I’m not much in the mood for real partying.”
“Something bothering you?” Ryan asked.
“I just… haven’t been sleeping well.” Bam said softly. “I can sleep for hours… but I still wake up exhausted.”
“Just like Johnny.” Ryan said, looking at their friend, who was once more looking behind them. “He’s been really restless the last few nights.”
“Probably too busy dreaming about your mom, Bam.” Novak joked.
“She is a hottie.” Bam followed the joke, looking to Johnny expecting some sort of retort, surprised when nothing came. “Johnny?”
There was a visible tremble that went through Johnny’s body before he started walking quicker. “Can we just hurry home?”
***
A gentle breeze blew in from the window, rustling the thin sheet that hung in front of it. Bam was asleep on the couch, sprawled across it in a pair of jeans that were hanging low on his hips from his movement. A thin blanket that was probably as old as Bam was draped over his lower body.
He was having a fitful dream about his parents and not the vampire that had been plaguing him. He whimpered softly, eyes shut tightly as he struggled against the memories of violence and neglect.
That was until a shadow fell over him and a hand touched his cheek gently. Then, he drew in a deep breath and for the first time, relaxed.
Ville sat on the edge of the couch, touching Bam’s face lovingly as he gazed at the mortal in the same manner. There was such misery in Bam’s thoughts and dreams. Ville had been so drawn to it at first… in love with the idea and the experience of it as only a human could experience it. Yet something had changed. Now… he didn’t want to see it in Bam now. He wanted something more… something better. He longed to stay here every night with Bam and ease the pain that was so heavy on his heart.
“What have you done to me, Bam?” Ville whispered softly, running his fingers through Bam’s hair, watching as the mortal slept peacefully. “What… have you done?” He asked the skater softly, leaning in to kiss Bam on the cheek before he slipped out of the room and back into the night.
Chapter One
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4231585.html?view=59579041#t59579041
Chapter Two
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4233775.html#cutid1
Chapter Three
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4240673.html?view=59682337#t59682337