(no subject)
Title: Adjudication
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R
Pairing: Vam... with a few surprises...hehehe
Summary: I just can't help myself with these "how they got together" based stories...
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: I'm bringing the heat! And a very dominant Willa... Also...I warped the time line a bit.
Authors Notes: Adjudication: The process of a strong chess player deciding on the outcome of an unfinished game.
**The end is coming! Only three more chapters, including this one.**
If you want to see more Linbu... say so in the comments, if enough people do, I'll add something yummy in. :D
You don't reeeeally have to go." Bam said. He was holding Ville's hand with both of his, following the older man who was walking to the door.
"This is true my darling." Ville said. "I could stay here for the rest of my life."
"See, since you agree with me, you should just... you know... stay."
Ville stopped and looked to his lover. "And yet we know I can't stay. I have responsibilities to my band and my friends."
"What about your sex starved lover?" Bam asked, kissing along Ville's arm.
Ville grinned as he turned to face Bam more. He reached out and tenderly ran his hand along Bam's cheek and then his neck, before yanking him close to kiss him deeply. "I think the empty bottle of lube upstairs is enough proof that you are far from sex starved."
Bam chuckled, kissing Ville, "It wasn't full when you got here."
"It wasn't empty three days ago either."
"When can I see you again?" Bam asked, feeling a bit needy, but he hated seeing Ville leave.
"Soon darling, I promise." Ville kissed Bam again, this time in a loving manner. "You know I can't stand being away from you, anymore than you can tolerate being away from me."
"Which leads me back to my original proposal... you shouldn't leave."
Ville smiled, "Some day I won't have too." He kissed Bam again, "But I think my fans might revolt if they get no new HIM music... and I know my biggest fan would eventually miss it."
Bam sighed and consented to defeat. "Make me a song?"
"Don't I always write for you?" Ville posed.
"Yeah..." Bam said with a grin. "You do... but I like to hear you admit it now and then."
Ville chuckled, "You are horribly spoiled...I shouldn’t let you get away with it.”
Bam chuckled, wrapping his arms around Ville. “You should stay and punish me accordingly.”
Ville grinned, “Now that is a tempting proposal.” He kissed Bam once more, “But I still have to go.”
Bam sighed in defeat, “I guess...”
“I’ll see you soon, I promise.”
“Never soon enough.” Bam said softly.
“I know my darling... soon never comes quick enough.”
****
Ville looked up from the bottle in his hands to his father. “Why do you come here so often?”
Kari looked to his son, “Because you always have beer?” He joked, since Anita had banned liquor from the house when the boys had been born.
The joke failed since Ville only looked to his bottle with an increasingly sad look on his face. He was on a small break from the band, one that allowed father and son to spend some time together, but not long enough to allow him to take a flight to America.
The elder Valo was well aware of where his son would rather be at the moment. “Is something wrong?”
Ville was silent for a moment before he said, “I was just wondering why you don’t spend time with Jesse as much...”
“Are you worried that I don’t love my sons equally?”
“He doesn’t keep beer in his fridge.” Ville stated in a half hearted joke.
“This is true... but trust me... I spend many nights with him when you are not here.” Kari said.
“Why?” Ville asked, finally looking to his father. “Is there a reason besides a resent fight with momma?”
Kari was silent and even a bit reflective for a moment. He finally drew in a breath and said, “It’s usually because of my coming here that we have a fight.”
Ville’s eyes went wide with surprise. “How... I mean... why? Does momma not approve of you coming here...”
“I know Ville.” Kari stated, not directly answering the question. “I’ve known since you were a teenager that... your tastes... do not run conventionally.”
Ville’s heart was hammering in his chest, “You did?”
Kari nodded, taking a long drink from his beer. “I hoped... that the time I spent with you... like this... could show that I still loved you as a son... even though you don’t love the way we would like you too.”
Ville was too stunned to speak.
“I could see how happy he makes you.... just looking at his text message a few minutes ago made you smile...” Kari paused for a moment, making him smile softly. “I thought music was the only thing that would ever make you smile like that.”
Ville looked to his father again, tears shimmering in his eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me about him.” Kari asked, opening more beer for them. “I’ve always wanted to know what he was like.”
This time, Ville could barely stop the tears from falling. “You want... you want to know about him?”
“Of course I do... I want to know about everything that is important to you. It’s obvious this man means the world to you.”
Ville trembled as he quickly brushed a few tears away. “He does..” They spent the next couple of hours talking about Bam and his relationship with him. Some of the stories Kari laughed at and even told some of his own stories about how he met Anita and fell in love with her.
“I know momma... loves me in her own way.” Ville said softly.
Kari nodded, “She loves the idea of trying to save our immortal souls.”
The corner of Ville’s mouth turned up in a small smile. “As long as it’s with Bam, my soul is fine.”
Kari smiled at his son. “I just want you to know Ville... I’m proud of you. You will always be my son, no matter what happens.”
Ville put his beer down and reached out and hugged his father. “I love you too papa.”
“Us drunks have to stick together, it us against your momma and Jesse.” Kari joked.
“Jesse is not as bad as momma.” Ville quickly pointed out, finishing off his beer. “I would take a lecture from him over momma any day.”
“Going to bed?”
Ville nodded, “You should too papa...we both have work in the morning.”
“Are you going to church with momma?” Kari asked as he settled into the couch.
“I might as well...I’ll be up anyways.” Ville said, passing a blanket and pillow to his father.
“I always felt bad waking you boys up to go to church. You used to make your momma so mad when you fell asleep during mass.”
Ville paused in the doorway, trying to remember that. “I did?”
Kari nodded, “Before you got so good at waking up early? You weren’t always a morning person. You used to stay up all night with me. Then your mother started getting you up early every morning to go to church. You were so tired. Until you were about... oh... ten or so... you used to curl up next to me. You were in my lap until you were six or so. You would fall right to sleep, just like that. Then again, I used to fall asleep too, so that might have been why she got so mad.”
Ville chuckled with Kari, “It’s so quiet in church...”
“You were always a light sleeper. I think Jesse used to wake you up all the time when he was a baby...but you loved that little boy anyways. You would do anything to make him happy.”
“I do love Jesse a lot.” Ville watched his father for a moment, heading out of the room when he thought he had fallen asleep.
“Ville...”
“Yes papa?”
“I know your momma has sort of met him already... but has no desire to see him again. And I know Jesse says he wants to meet him, but doesn’t really try too...” Kari paused as his eyes opened again. “I would like to met Bam some day. If only to see what he looks like.”
For the third time that night, Ville was stunned into silence. He didn’t answer his father right away, which made Kari believe that he had made his son upset some how.
However, the creaking of the floor boards signaled that Ville had come back and was next to the couch, which caused Kari to sit up.
Silently, Ville handed Kari an envelope, shoving his hands in his pockets as he gazed down at his bare feet.
After looking at his son for a moment, Kari opened the envelope and pulled out some pictures. The smile returned his lips as he looked through them, “He’s Italian... isn’t he?”
A small smile appeared on Ville’s lips as he nodded.
Kari nodded as well, “It’s the nose.” He continued looking through the pictures. “He certainly is a very happy person.”
“He makes me very happy.”
Kari nodded, there was no denying the way they looked at one another, the love that seemed to radiate between them. “He seems to care a lot about you.”
“He does.”
After carefully putting the pictures away, Kari handed them back to Ville. “Someday... you won’t come home.”
Ville nodded as he walked away from his father. “Some day I won’t have to leave him....”
****
As soon as Kari thought his son had fallen asleep, he crept into his bedroom and looked down at him. Ville was sleeping, curled up with his pillow, cradling it in his arms like he might a lover. His fingers touched the back of the pillow, unknown to the older man, Ville had touched it gently as he fell asleep; like he might play with Bam’s hair if the skater had been there instead of the pillow.
For a moment he did not see a grown man, but the small child that Ville would always be to him. His little boy who would hold his hand and follow him where ever he would go. How he loved that little boy (both of his boys), his pride and joy, his symbol that there was goodness in this world.
Before he had a chance to leave, Ville woke up, he had felt someone staring at him. After apologizing for waking Ville up, Kari went to sleep.
He went back to his own house after work, after a week of sleeping at Ville’s he knew it was time to return. That, and he knew Ville would be leaving soon to go back to America. He walked into his home and for a moment listened to the sounds of Anita moving around in the kitchen. He remember the way Bam had looked at Ville in those pictures, as if Ville was the most precious and wonderful thing alive. He wondered for a moment if Anita had ever looked at him like that.
Kari thought of how Ville looked and felt for Bam and knew he had never felt that way for Anita. The thought saddened him worse, since he knew that even though he had done everything he was supposed to do in the eyes of his family and culture, he would never know the love or happiness Ville and Bam did in their shameful affair.
“I see you came home.” Anita stated as she came from the kitchen and stopped before him.
“Ville is going back to America at the end of the week.” Kari said and even though she remained emotionless, he saw the twitch in her cheek that gave away how that statement affected her.
“He is always so busy with that band of his...”
“I doubt he is going for business.” Kari said as he moved past his wife.
“Why else would he be going?”
“You’re a smart person...I think you know the answer to that.”
Anita frowned, “Don’t say such things about our son. He would never...”
“Never do what? Love like we could only dream of loving another person?”
Kari’s comment took her by surprise and she didn’t know how to answer it right away. “All he needs is the love of...”
“Who God?” Kari sighed, “It must be nice to be able to survive on that alone.”
“What are you talking about Kari?” Anita asked and this time she sincerely didn’t know what he meant.
Kari closed his eyes, picturing for a moment one of the snap shots he had looked at longer than the others. It had been taken during the making of The Sacrament, when they had been filming outside. He could imagine in his mind the happiness that glowed in their smiling faces. “There is a love that not even the love of your God can match. The warmth that comes from another human. That is where Ville is going.”
Anita tried to inject, but he stopped her.
“He is running back to that warmth. I don’t blame him... it must be exquisite it leave this cold, dark place. To be able to bask in a love that you know is a pure desire to be with you... to love only you.”
“I love you Kari.” Anita said softly.
“Not as much as you love God. I will always be second to him. Where Ville knows he is second to no one in the eyes of his lover.” Kari cut Anita off before she could speak again. “It is not a horrible thing, to want that from a living human being. No matter what your God may say about it, at least true love is, in it’s purest form.”
Anita was silent and Kari wasn’t sure if it was because she was withholding a comment or because she had nothing else to say. When she finally did speak, he knew which had been the correct guess. “I’ll finish making dinner. Jesse is coming over with his girlfriend, so I want to make sure there is enough for everyone.”
There was a sadness in her voice, that he thought had little to do with the love she refused to acknowledge. “Did you invite anyone else?” Kari asked carefully, still standing in the same spot he had during the whole debate.
Anita stopped next to the table. She had been placing plates at their spots for the guests. She touched the back of the chair she was coming too next, which was placed to the right of Kari’s. No matter how many times she had moved it, it always seemed to end up close to her husbands.
Her fingers wrapped around the top of the chair that she gripped for a moment, her eyes closed as she pressed the stack of dishes to her bossum. “There is no one else to invite.” She whispered, letting go of the chair so she could skip that placement and move on to Kari’s.
“Then don’t bother setting me a place.”
His request made her stop and look sharply at him. “Why...why did you say that?”
“Because I’ve let you do a lot to our boys... but I will not let it go that far. If our son is not welcome here... then I am not welcome here.” Kari stated, taking the plate that was meant for him, that Anita had begun to set down, and put in it the spot she had skipped. “If you do not invite Ville... “
“I’ll call him now.”
Her comment was a rare sign of defeat which took Kari by surprise. He said nothing else, leaving it there.
***
“How was dinner with the family?” Bam asked.
“Perfectly awkward as normal.” Ville said as he drifted through his bedroom. “Sometimes I wonder why my momma invites me at all... you can tell she doesn’t want me there.”
“Well don’t worry.. you’ll be here soon and everyone knows how much April and Phil adore you. Sometimes, I think they love you more than me.”
Ville chuckled, “Some how I don’t believe that.”
“You think I exaggerate?”
“No...” Ville said softly, stopping next to his mirror. He reached out to touch Bam’s cheek in a picture he had taped to it. “I just can’t imagine loving anything more than you.”
“Awww.... I love you too.” Bam said, smiling brightly. “I have a surprise for you when you get here.”
“You didn’t have to get anything for me.”
“I didn’t really get you anything...I had it made for you.” Bam pointed out.
“Is there anything I can do to repay the gesture, or are you just going to tell me I do too much as it is?”
“Well you do... you dedicate whole CD’s to me, you make me so incredibly happy I feel like I’m in heaven whenever you are around... but...” Bam paused for a dramatic effect. “You can do something for me.”
“What is that?”
Bam sprawled out on his bed, on his stomach, hugging his pillow which he was leaning against. “You know what I want to hear.”
Ville smiled, closing his eyes as he imagined Bam’s face. “Darling...” He said in a smooth, deep, tone. “My darling Bam.... I love you.”
Bam sighed with contentment. “I love you too Willa.”
Ville chuckled, “I love you more darling.... my precious Bam.”
The sigh of contentment came again. “It’s not just the words themselves.. even though I love hearing them from you. It’s the way you say them.... like....I’m the most precious thing in the world.” Bam said softly.
“But you are Bam.” Ville said softly. “I couldn’t live without you.”
Bam cracked his eyes open. “Same here....”
“And when I get there, I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed you.... and how much I love you.”
Bam smile grew as he rolled to his back. His hand slid under his shirt, caressing his navel. “I can’t wait. I’ve missed you being here. I can’t sleep the same when my bed is so cold... I miss my heater.”
Ville chuckled. “Is that all you’ve missed?”
“Well, there is that big, delicious, cock of yours.” Bam teased.
“I see how it is.” Ville teased back.
“But I think I missed your arms the most. The way you hold me when we sleep... and play with my hair.” Bam said, reaching up to touch his own hair in the same delicate manner.
“I don’t play with your hair that much.”
Bam grinned, “Oh yes you do. You fall asleep playing with it. I know, you send shivers through my spine every time your fingertips brush my scalp.”
“I would apologize, but you must not have minded it, since you never complained.”
“I never complain when it comes to you touching me.”
Ville smiled, “Well I doubt I’ll be able to keep my hands off you for long when I get there.”
“Good, because we might just have to sneak off to a bathroom and fuck in the stall before we leave. It’s either that or we risk getting into a car accident on the way home.”
Ville grinned, “How about we fuck in the bathroom, then out in front of the house, and then in the house... and well... all over the place....we have a lot of time to make up for.”
“I won’t be able to walk straight for a week.” Bam grinned with delight. “I can’t wait.”
“I will be able to full fill that risk for you.” Ville said,also grinning. “But I should let you get some sleep.”
“I would say I should let you get some sleep too, but it doesn’t matter...you’ll be awake on time just like always.” Bam commented. “I love you Ville...I can’t wait to see you.”
“I can’t wait to see you either. Good night my love.”
***
Bam slowed down as he approached the large bay windows that looked out on the runway. Just to his right was where the passengers would come in. He was soon joined by Phil and April who hadn’t been in as much of a rush as their son was. They knew they had several minutes until the plane was expected to arrive.
The skater drifted off into though as he gazed at the arriving and departing planes. The only sound he heard was the announcer, letting everyone know about the airplane schedule. He couldn’t wait to see Ville, it was part of the reason he had asked his parents to come along. Then he would be free to kiss Ville in the back seat.
Which was always an interesting experience, since April insisted they buckle themselves in. Bam was always thankful for how tall Ville was in moments like that. Even with the safety restraint, Ville could still lean across the seat and kiss him.
“Don’t get too excited.” Phil said softly, breaking Bam from his thoughts. “You were pulling on your lips.... your thinking of Ville.” He added when he saw the confusion on Bam’s face.
Bam grinned sheepishly, blushing lightly. He turned and pressed himself up against the cold window pane. “There we go... nicely cooled off.”
“Bam!” April yelled as she hurried over to her family. “Stop humping the window.”
“He wasn’t...” Phil started to say in his defense.
“Glass needs love too.” Bam said, humping the window until April chased him away from it.
“For that I shouldn’t buy you anything from the coffee stand.” April grumbled.
Bam was bouncing up and down as he anxiously watched the window. “That’s alright... it’s never any fun without Ville to share it.”
Despite his comment and April’s threat, she still brought him back a strawberry smoothie type drink with extra whipped cream, just like how Bam liked it. In reality, Bam liked the extra whipped cream, which he usually ate before passing the actual drink to Ville.
Now he ended up drinking the whole thing, since it was melting as he waited for Ville to arrive. He checked his watch, Ville’s plane was supposed to have landed nearly a half an hour ago. Delays were not an uncommon pain to deal with, but something just felt off.
April could see the anxiety in her son's movements and it was starting to make her nervous. “I’m sure he will be here soon.”
Bam nodded, unaware of how he held himself tightly. “I know he will be.”
“Is that it?” Phil asked, causing Bam to go rushing back to the window.
April’s moment of relief was shattered when Bam relayed that it wasn’t the right plane. Almost... but not quite.
More minutes ticked by, April and Phil went to go and call home to see if they had heard anything. Bam looked at his own cell phone sadly. He wanted to try to call Ville, but he knew there would be no point if the man was still in the air. His signal would never get through.
In the background, he could hear the new pop sensation playing on MTV. It might have grated on his nerves if he had actually paid attention to it. The music broke away suddenly and gave away to one of the attractive reporters.
“Hello my name is Michelle Smith and this is an MTV news break. Flight 347 out of England was on it’s way to the Philadelphia airport, when it experienced engine trouble and crashed into the Atlantic ocean....”
Bam’s heart stopped, his lungs shriveled up on him as he jerked around to stare at the screen of the TV set attached to the wall. That couldn’t have been the right plane number... she was wrong. That stupid reporter was wrong! That couldn’t be right...
“Our informative said it was scheduled to land at 7:30 pm and was actually a connector flight out of Helsinki, Finland...”
Bam shook his head violently, unaware of how he was shaking. Ville was coming in from Finland, but had to stop in England first. His plane was supposed to have landed then... this was a joke... this was a horrible, horrible joke.
“It’s been reported that the lead singer of Love Metal international success band HIM, Ville Valo was scheduled to be on the flight, but there has been no reports yet to confirm this. As of yet, no survivors have been found...”
Michelle’s voice was drowned out by someone screaming. It was only when Phil had managed to drag Bam from the airport that he realized he was the one that had been screaming...
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3929243.html?view=55581851#t55581851
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3931957.html?view=55611957#t55611957
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3935984.html?view=55632112#t55632112
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3936681.html?view=55655849#t55655849
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3938338.html
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3946642.html?view=55769490#t55769490
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3947188.html?view=55787188#t55787188
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3948871.html?view=55851591#t55851591
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3951505.html?view=55882897#t55882897
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3953249.html?view=55912289#t55912289
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3955320.html?view=55945848#t55945848
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R
Pairing: Vam... with a few surprises...hehehe
Summary: I just can't help myself with these "how they got together" based stories...
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: I'm bringing the heat! And a very dominant Willa... Also...I warped the time line a bit.
Authors Notes: Adjudication: The process of a strong chess player deciding on the outcome of an unfinished game.
**The end is coming! Only three more chapters, including this one.**
If you want to see more Linbu... say so in the comments, if enough people do, I'll add something yummy in. :D
You don't reeeeally have to go." Bam said. He was holding Ville's hand with both of his, following the older man who was walking to the door.
"This is true my darling." Ville said. "I could stay here for the rest of my life."
"See, since you agree with me, you should just... you know... stay."
Ville stopped and looked to his lover. "And yet we know I can't stay. I have responsibilities to my band and my friends."
"What about your sex starved lover?" Bam asked, kissing along Ville's arm.
Ville grinned as he turned to face Bam more. He reached out and tenderly ran his hand along Bam's cheek and then his neck, before yanking him close to kiss him deeply. "I think the empty bottle of lube upstairs is enough proof that you are far from sex starved."
Bam chuckled, kissing Ville, "It wasn't full when you got here."
"It wasn't empty three days ago either."
"When can I see you again?" Bam asked, feeling a bit needy, but he hated seeing Ville leave.
"Soon darling, I promise." Ville kissed Bam again, this time in a loving manner. "You know I can't stand being away from you, anymore than you can tolerate being away from me."
"Which leads me back to my original proposal... you shouldn't leave."
Ville smiled, "Some day I won't have too." He kissed Bam again, "But I think my fans might revolt if they get no new HIM music... and I know my biggest fan would eventually miss it."
Bam sighed and consented to defeat. "Make me a song?"
"Don't I always write for you?" Ville posed.
"Yeah..." Bam said with a grin. "You do... but I like to hear you admit it now and then."
Ville chuckled, "You are horribly spoiled...I shouldn’t let you get away with it.”
Bam chuckled, wrapping his arms around Ville. “You should stay and punish me accordingly.”
Ville grinned, “Now that is a tempting proposal.” He kissed Bam once more, “But I still have to go.”
Bam sighed in defeat, “I guess...”
“I’ll see you soon, I promise.”
“Never soon enough.” Bam said softly.
“I know my darling... soon never comes quick enough.”
****
Ville looked up from the bottle in his hands to his father. “Why do you come here so often?”
Kari looked to his son, “Because you always have beer?” He joked, since Anita had banned liquor from the house when the boys had been born.
The joke failed since Ville only looked to his bottle with an increasingly sad look on his face. He was on a small break from the band, one that allowed father and son to spend some time together, but not long enough to allow him to take a flight to America.
The elder Valo was well aware of where his son would rather be at the moment. “Is something wrong?”
Ville was silent for a moment before he said, “I was just wondering why you don’t spend time with Jesse as much...”
“Are you worried that I don’t love my sons equally?”
“He doesn’t keep beer in his fridge.” Ville stated in a half hearted joke.
“This is true... but trust me... I spend many nights with him when you are not here.” Kari said.
“Why?” Ville asked, finally looking to his father. “Is there a reason besides a resent fight with momma?”
Kari was silent and even a bit reflective for a moment. He finally drew in a breath and said, “It’s usually because of my coming here that we have a fight.”
Ville’s eyes went wide with surprise. “How... I mean... why? Does momma not approve of you coming here...”
“I know Ville.” Kari stated, not directly answering the question. “I’ve known since you were a teenager that... your tastes... do not run conventionally.”
Ville’s heart was hammering in his chest, “You did?”
Kari nodded, taking a long drink from his beer. “I hoped... that the time I spent with you... like this... could show that I still loved you as a son... even though you don’t love the way we would like you too.”
Ville was too stunned to speak.
“I could see how happy he makes you.... just looking at his text message a few minutes ago made you smile...” Kari paused for a moment, making him smile softly. “I thought music was the only thing that would ever make you smile like that.”
Ville looked to his father again, tears shimmering in his eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me about him.” Kari asked, opening more beer for them. “I’ve always wanted to know what he was like.”
This time, Ville could barely stop the tears from falling. “You want... you want to know about him?”
“Of course I do... I want to know about everything that is important to you. It’s obvious this man means the world to you.”
Ville trembled as he quickly brushed a few tears away. “He does..” They spent the next couple of hours talking about Bam and his relationship with him. Some of the stories Kari laughed at and even told some of his own stories about how he met Anita and fell in love with her.
“I know momma... loves me in her own way.” Ville said softly.
Kari nodded, “She loves the idea of trying to save our immortal souls.”
The corner of Ville’s mouth turned up in a small smile. “As long as it’s with Bam, my soul is fine.”
Kari smiled at his son. “I just want you to know Ville... I’m proud of you. You will always be my son, no matter what happens.”
Ville put his beer down and reached out and hugged his father. “I love you too papa.”
“Us drunks have to stick together, it us against your momma and Jesse.” Kari joked.
“Jesse is not as bad as momma.” Ville quickly pointed out, finishing off his beer. “I would take a lecture from him over momma any day.”
“Going to bed?”
Ville nodded, “You should too papa...we both have work in the morning.”
“Are you going to church with momma?” Kari asked as he settled into the couch.
“I might as well...I’ll be up anyways.” Ville said, passing a blanket and pillow to his father.
“I always felt bad waking you boys up to go to church. You used to make your momma so mad when you fell asleep during mass.”
Ville paused in the doorway, trying to remember that. “I did?”
Kari nodded, “Before you got so good at waking up early? You weren’t always a morning person. You used to stay up all night with me. Then your mother started getting you up early every morning to go to church. You were so tired. Until you were about... oh... ten or so... you used to curl up next to me. You were in my lap until you were six or so. You would fall right to sleep, just like that. Then again, I used to fall asleep too, so that might have been why she got so mad.”
Ville chuckled with Kari, “It’s so quiet in church...”
“You were always a light sleeper. I think Jesse used to wake you up all the time when he was a baby...but you loved that little boy anyways. You would do anything to make him happy.”
“I do love Jesse a lot.” Ville watched his father for a moment, heading out of the room when he thought he had fallen asleep.
“Ville...”
“Yes papa?”
“I know your momma has sort of met him already... but has no desire to see him again. And I know Jesse says he wants to meet him, but doesn’t really try too...” Kari paused as his eyes opened again. “I would like to met Bam some day. If only to see what he looks like.”
For the third time that night, Ville was stunned into silence. He didn’t answer his father right away, which made Kari believe that he had made his son upset some how.
However, the creaking of the floor boards signaled that Ville had come back and was next to the couch, which caused Kari to sit up.
Silently, Ville handed Kari an envelope, shoving his hands in his pockets as he gazed down at his bare feet.
After looking at his son for a moment, Kari opened the envelope and pulled out some pictures. The smile returned his lips as he looked through them, “He’s Italian... isn’t he?”
A small smile appeared on Ville’s lips as he nodded.
Kari nodded as well, “It’s the nose.” He continued looking through the pictures. “He certainly is a very happy person.”
“He makes me very happy.”
Kari nodded, there was no denying the way they looked at one another, the love that seemed to radiate between them. “He seems to care a lot about you.”
“He does.”
After carefully putting the pictures away, Kari handed them back to Ville. “Someday... you won’t come home.”
Ville nodded as he walked away from his father. “Some day I won’t have to leave him....”
****
As soon as Kari thought his son had fallen asleep, he crept into his bedroom and looked down at him. Ville was sleeping, curled up with his pillow, cradling it in his arms like he might a lover. His fingers touched the back of the pillow, unknown to the older man, Ville had touched it gently as he fell asleep; like he might play with Bam’s hair if the skater had been there instead of the pillow.
For a moment he did not see a grown man, but the small child that Ville would always be to him. His little boy who would hold his hand and follow him where ever he would go. How he loved that little boy (both of his boys), his pride and joy, his symbol that there was goodness in this world.
Before he had a chance to leave, Ville woke up, he had felt someone staring at him. After apologizing for waking Ville up, Kari went to sleep.
He went back to his own house after work, after a week of sleeping at Ville’s he knew it was time to return. That, and he knew Ville would be leaving soon to go back to America. He walked into his home and for a moment listened to the sounds of Anita moving around in the kitchen. He remember the way Bam had looked at Ville in those pictures, as if Ville was the most precious and wonderful thing alive. He wondered for a moment if Anita had ever looked at him like that.
Kari thought of how Ville looked and felt for Bam and knew he had never felt that way for Anita. The thought saddened him worse, since he knew that even though he had done everything he was supposed to do in the eyes of his family and culture, he would never know the love or happiness Ville and Bam did in their shameful affair.
“I see you came home.” Anita stated as she came from the kitchen and stopped before him.
“Ville is going back to America at the end of the week.” Kari said and even though she remained emotionless, he saw the twitch in her cheek that gave away how that statement affected her.
“He is always so busy with that band of his...”
“I doubt he is going for business.” Kari said as he moved past his wife.
“Why else would he be going?”
“You’re a smart person...I think you know the answer to that.”
Anita frowned, “Don’t say such things about our son. He would never...”
“Never do what? Love like we could only dream of loving another person?”
Kari’s comment took her by surprise and she didn’t know how to answer it right away. “All he needs is the love of...”
“Who God?” Kari sighed, “It must be nice to be able to survive on that alone.”
“What are you talking about Kari?” Anita asked and this time she sincerely didn’t know what he meant.
Kari closed his eyes, picturing for a moment one of the snap shots he had looked at longer than the others. It had been taken during the making of The Sacrament, when they had been filming outside. He could imagine in his mind the happiness that glowed in their smiling faces. “There is a love that not even the love of your God can match. The warmth that comes from another human. That is where Ville is going.”
Anita tried to inject, but he stopped her.
“He is running back to that warmth. I don’t blame him... it must be exquisite it leave this cold, dark place. To be able to bask in a love that you know is a pure desire to be with you... to love only you.”
“I love you Kari.” Anita said softly.
“Not as much as you love God. I will always be second to him. Where Ville knows he is second to no one in the eyes of his lover.” Kari cut Anita off before she could speak again. “It is not a horrible thing, to want that from a living human being. No matter what your God may say about it, at least true love is, in it’s purest form.”
Anita was silent and Kari wasn’t sure if it was because she was withholding a comment or because she had nothing else to say. When she finally did speak, he knew which had been the correct guess. “I’ll finish making dinner. Jesse is coming over with his girlfriend, so I want to make sure there is enough for everyone.”
There was a sadness in her voice, that he thought had little to do with the love she refused to acknowledge. “Did you invite anyone else?” Kari asked carefully, still standing in the same spot he had during the whole debate.
Anita stopped next to the table. She had been placing plates at their spots for the guests. She touched the back of the chair she was coming too next, which was placed to the right of Kari’s. No matter how many times she had moved it, it always seemed to end up close to her husbands.
Her fingers wrapped around the top of the chair that she gripped for a moment, her eyes closed as she pressed the stack of dishes to her bossum. “There is no one else to invite.” She whispered, letting go of the chair so she could skip that placement and move on to Kari’s.
“Then don’t bother setting me a place.”
His request made her stop and look sharply at him. “Why...why did you say that?”
“Because I’ve let you do a lot to our boys... but I will not let it go that far. If our son is not welcome here... then I am not welcome here.” Kari stated, taking the plate that was meant for him, that Anita had begun to set down, and put in it the spot she had skipped. “If you do not invite Ville... “
“I’ll call him now.”
Her comment was a rare sign of defeat which took Kari by surprise. He said nothing else, leaving it there.
***
“How was dinner with the family?” Bam asked.
“Perfectly awkward as normal.” Ville said as he drifted through his bedroom. “Sometimes I wonder why my momma invites me at all... you can tell she doesn’t want me there.”
“Well don’t worry.. you’ll be here soon and everyone knows how much April and Phil adore you. Sometimes, I think they love you more than me.”
Ville chuckled, “Some how I don’t believe that.”
“You think I exaggerate?”
“No...” Ville said softly, stopping next to his mirror. He reached out to touch Bam’s cheek in a picture he had taped to it. “I just can’t imagine loving anything more than you.”
“Awww.... I love you too.” Bam said, smiling brightly. “I have a surprise for you when you get here.”
“You didn’t have to get anything for me.”
“I didn’t really get you anything...I had it made for you.” Bam pointed out.
“Is there anything I can do to repay the gesture, or are you just going to tell me I do too much as it is?”
“Well you do... you dedicate whole CD’s to me, you make me so incredibly happy I feel like I’m in heaven whenever you are around... but...” Bam paused for a dramatic effect. “You can do something for me.”
“What is that?”
Bam sprawled out on his bed, on his stomach, hugging his pillow which he was leaning against. “You know what I want to hear.”
Ville smiled, closing his eyes as he imagined Bam’s face. “Darling...” He said in a smooth, deep, tone. “My darling Bam.... I love you.”
Bam sighed with contentment. “I love you too Willa.”
Ville chuckled, “I love you more darling.... my precious Bam.”
The sigh of contentment came again. “It’s not just the words themselves.. even though I love hearing them from you. It’s the way you say them.... like....I’m the most precious thing in the world.” Bam said softly.
“But you are Bam.” Ville said softly. “I couldn’t live without you.”
Bam cracked his eyes open. “Same here....”
“And when I get there, I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed you.... and how much I love you.”
Bam smile grew as he rolled to his back. His hand slid under his shirt, caressing his navel. “I can’t wait. I’ve missed you being here. I can’t sleep the same when my bed is so cold... I miss my heater.”
Ville chuckled. “Is that all you’ve missed?”
“Well, there is that big, delicious, cock of yours.” Bam teased.
“I see how it is.” Ville teased back.
“But I think I missed your arms the most. The way you hold me when we sleep... and play with my hair.” Bam said, reaching up to touch his own hair in the same delicate manner.
“I don’t play with your hair that much.”
Bam grinned, “Oh yes you do. You fall asleep playing with it. I know, you send shivers through my spine every time your fingertips brush my scalp.”
“I would apologize, but you must not have minded it, since you never complained.”
“I never complain when it comes to you touching me.”
Ville smiled, “Well I doubt I’ll be able to keep my hands off you for long when I get there.”
“Good, because we might just have to sneak off to a bathroom and fuck in the stall before we leave. It’s either that or we risk getting into a car accident on the way home.”
Ville grinned, “How about we fuck in the bathroom, then out in front of the house, and then in the house... and well... all over the place....we have a lot of time to make up for.”
“I won’t be able to walk straight for a week.” Bam grinned with delight. “I can’t wait.”
“I will be able to full fill that risk for you.” Ville said,also grinning. “But I should let you get some sleep.”
“I would say I should let you get some sleep too, but it doesn’t matter...you’ll be awake on time just like always.” Bam commented. “I love you Ville...I can’t wait to see you.”
“I can’t wait to see you either. Good night my love.”
***
Bam slowed down as he approached the large bay windows that looked out on the runway. Just to his right was where the passengers would come in. He was soon joined by Phil and April who hadn’t been in as much of a rush as their son was. They knew they had several minutes until the plane was expected to arrive.
The skater drifted off into though as he gazed at the arriving and departing planes. The only sound he heard was the announcer, letting everyone know about the airplane schedule. He couldn’t wait to see Ville, it was part of the reason he had asked his parents to come along. Then he would be free to kiss Ville in the back seat.
Which was always an interesting experience, since April insisted they buckle themselves in. Bam was always thankful for how tall Ville was in moments like that. Even with the safety restraint, Ville could still lean across the seat and kiss him.
“Don’t get too excited.” Phil said softly, breaking Bam from his thoughts. “You were pulling on your lips.... your thinking of Ville.” He added when he saw the confusion on Bam’s face.
Bam grinned sheepishly, blushing lightly. He turned and pressed himself up against the cold window pane. “There we go... nicely cooled off.”
“Bam!” April yelled as she hurried over to her family. “Stop humping the window.”
“He wasn’t...” Phil started to say in his defense.
“Glass needs love too.” Bam said, humping the window until April chased him away from it.
“For that I shouldn’t buy you anything from the coffee stand.” April grumbled.
Bam was bouncing up and down as he anxiously watched the window. “That’s alright... it’s never any fun without Ville to share it.”
Despite his comment and April’s threat, she still brought him back a strawberry smoothie type drink with extra whipped cream, just like how Bam liked it. In reality, Bam liked the extra whipped cream, which he usually ate before passing the actual drink to Ville.
Now he ended up drinking the whole thing, since it was melting as he waited for Ville to arrive. He checked his watch, Ville’s plane was supposed to have landed nearly a half an hour ago. Delays were not an uncommon pain to deal with, but something just felt off.
April could see the anxiety in her son's movements and it was starting to make her nervous. “I’m sure he will be here soon.”
Bam nodded, unaware of how he held himself tightly. “I know he will be.”
“Is that it?” Phil asked, causing Bam to go rushing back to the window.
April’s moment of relief was shattered when Bam relayed that it wasn’t the right plane. Almost... but not quite.
More minutes ticked by, April and Phil went to go and call home to see if they had heard anything. Bam looked at his own cell phone sadly. He wanted to try to call Ville, but he knew there would be no point if the man was still in the air. His signal would never get through.
In the background, he could hear the new pop sensation playing on MTV. It might have grated on his nerves if he had actually paid attention to it. The music broke away suddenly and gave away to one of the attractive reporters.
“Hello my name is Michelle Smith and this is an MTV news break. Flight 347 out of England was on it’s way to the Philadelphia airport, when it experienced engine trouble and crashed into the Atlantic ocean....”
Bam’s heart stopped, his lungs shriveled up on him as he jerked around to stare at the screen of the TV set attached to the wall. That couldn’t have been the right plane number... she was wrong. That stupid reporter was wrong! That couldn’t be right...
“Our informative said it was scheduled to land at 7:30 pm and was actually a connector flight out of Helsinki, Finland...”
Bam shook his head violently, unaware of how he was shaking. Ville was coming in from Finland, but had to stop in England first. His plane was supposed to have landed then... this was a joke... this was a horrible, horrible joke.
“It’s been reported that the lead singer of Love Metal international success band HIM, Ville Valo was scheduled to be on the flight, but there has been no reports yet to confirm this. As of yet, no survivors have been found...”
Michelle’s voice was drowned out by someone screaming. It was only when Phil had managed to drag Bam from the airport that he realized he was the one that had been screaming...
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