vamxaddict
in
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Title: Amity Is Like a Gun
Author: vamxaddict
Pairing: vam & bam/missy mention but not main pair bam/jonne
Rating: PG-13 or R
Summary: Loving someone that you can’t have is trivial. But thinking that he loves you and having no clue at all is just damn confusing. All the events leading up to that one special sentence, “Do you like me?” Can be like going to hell and back. That’s exactly how Ville Valo feels towards his high school crush Bam Margera.
Chapter One: High School Awkwardness
Chapter Two: Food Fights and Spiked Punch
Chapter Three: Love or Hate?
Chapter Four:Momentary Kisses and Enduring Hugs
The tears clouded my eyes and I could barely see. All my sadness was seeping through into the ground, I was unable to regain feeing. Numbness began to sink into my body and take control. How could he do such a thing? Why did he hurt me so much? I fell so hard, which meant it was going to be hard as fuck to get back up. When I reached home, my mom looked at me, sympathetically.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” She asked.
“Just leave me be.” I croaked, racing to my room and slamming the door shut. I collapsed onto my bed as the tears raged harder than ever. When I was able to, I stood up and began to rip everything off the walls. Then I grabbed the scissors and began to rip at my flesh. The blood was flowing and I reached for an old shirt to stop it. I began to punch my walls with anger. My fists were like balls of hate and I couldn’t get over what I felt. If you got down to the nitty-gritty, Bam had grown to mean so very much to me. I couldn’t believe he felt for Jonne and it made me hate Jonne, not Bam. In my mind it was all Jonne, for some reason I never blamed Bam, I was blind. Jonne was dead to me now and I didn’t care if I had no one.
The next day at school, I sat alone and surprisingly Ryan came to sit by me.
“I didn’t tell.” He said sitting down. I was looking at my food and then peered up at him. Tears were streaking down my face. “Ville, I’m sorry. I knew it would hurt you and I hoped he wouldn’t tell. Bam’s ignorant with emotions, he doesn’t want to face them. But I’m sure he’ll apologize.” Ryan said touching my arm. “Don’t worry. Jonne’s nothing compared to you.”
After breakfast, Ryan walked me to my locker and I saw Bam out of the corner of my eye. He had a look of shame but it began to contort into anger.
“Thanks a lot for listening and helping Ryan. It’s good to have a friend though all this.” I didn’t know if it was suitable to give him a hug but I did anyways, he needed it and I did to.
“It’s no problem.” He said with a smile on his face.
New Years Eve
I laid on my bed the phone pressed against my ear listening to Ryan’s voice. I had been trying for the past months to forget Bam, but it was so hard. He eventually apologized but I don’t think he ever really understood what he was apologizing for. I never forgave Jonne though, I couldn’t. It was just something that was unforgivable to me. Throughout all this crazy drama me and Ryan began to become close friends.
“…so I was telling this funny joke and I meant for her to hear it but as she walked by, I opened my pop and it all came spilling down my shirt. I was so fuckin embarrassed.” Ryan said with a laugh.
“Sounds like a classic.” I laughed.
“Yeah, so you wanna hang out tonight? There’s a party at this private place only select few. But since you’re coming with me, you’ll get in.”
“Oh and you think I couldn’t get in without you, huh?” I said jokingly.
“Do I sense a bet coming on?” Ry chuckled.
“Oh, no. No, no, no. I will not be caught in the middle of one or your bets. We could get Novak?” I said and he burst out laughing on the other line.
“Brilliant, be ready in an hour.”
I was really excited about the party because I hadn’t did anything really exciting in a while. The Jonne and Bam thing had really gotten me down.
“So who’s all gonna be there?” I asked hopping into the car.
“Little bit of everybody. It’ll be good for you to be out.” I began to frown. “Look, if Bam comes I’ll beat his ass if he harasses you. Okay?”
“Yeah, I’m better.” I said with a laugh.
When we arrived at the party it was already packed with people. That’s when I spotted them and began to turn around.
“Oh no you don’t.” Ry said grabbing my arm. “You’re staying and are going to have some fun.
I stayed and jammed with Ryan as we laughed at Novak trying so hard to get through the people at the door.
“Dude, I know that guy right there.” Novak said pointing at Ry trying to get through. Ry waved him on in.
Dancing like retards with Dunn and Novak actually began to be fun, but as the mood turned down a notch we walked away to just hang out.
“You were right, I’m actually having fun.” I said taking a swig of beer.
“Of course, I am brilliant.” Ryan laughed. Then something happened that I never would’ve allowed, maybe. At that moment, I leaned in and my lips connected with Ry’s. As I pulled back I didn’t know what I had just done.
“W-what was that for?” Dunn asked.
“I-I…” Not knowing what to do I just turned around and ran. I ran and ran until I reached a park. It looked unfamiliar, or maybe I had just never noticed in before. To catch my breath I sat on the swings and took a deep breath. Closing my eyes I tried to think of what made me kiss Ryan. I didn’t like him, it was just like a spur of the moment thing. I was just trying so hard to get over Bam that I just moved on to whatever was around. I hoped I hadn’t hurt Ryan because that wasn’t what I had intended to do.
“Something happen back there.” A familiar figure spoke, sitting on the swing next to me.
“Bam, what are you doing here.” I said not looking at him.
“Trying to understand why you kissed Ryan and aren’t talking to me or Jonne. What did I do?”
“Bam… it’s complicated okay. I can’t tell you until I figure it out.”
“Well, if it helps. Telling you I liked Jonne wasn’t right. It was something I shouldn’t have blurted out after not knowing you for very long. Anyways, I don’t talk to him anymore. I’m with Missy full-time. I think that’s best… I guess.” I managed a weak smile and looked into his eyes. But maybe I shouldn’t have, because I fell for him again.
“You forgive me?” Bam said.
“Yeah I do.” I smiled.
“Then you won’t mind if I give you a hug?” I shook my head no and as his arms swung around my body I breathed in his scent. The smell of sweat, beer and cologne mixed into my nose. If the hug lasted longer than it probably should of I didn’t care, I was happy to be back in his life once more.
Me and Bam talked for quite sometime and then walked back to the party.
“You need a lift home?” He asked.
“Um… I think I should patch things up with Ryan.”
“That would be smart. So I’ll see ya later then.”
“Okay.” I waved goodbye and looked for Ry in the sea of people.
“Ryan! Dunn!” I yelled and the he finally turned around.
“Ry, I’m sorry about earlier.”
“What the kiss? Oh, I knew it was not what you intended. Don’t worry, I won’t put it against you.” He said giving me a hug as Novak came up to us, girl in hand.
“Well he’s noticeably clobbered.” I said yelling shotgun as Novak tried to scramble into the backseat with the random girl.
“Hey no fornicating in the mustang.” Ry yelled, reaching back to slap Novak.
“Hey man. That’s not cool.” I laughed the whole way home as Novak tried unsuccessfully to get laid in the car.
“See ya Vil, we can hang out tomorrow? I’ll call ya.”
“Ok. See ya Ry. Novak… be good.” I said with a wink.
“You got it buddy.” Novak said returning the gesture. Walking up to the house I was glad I had gotten my happiness back. I didn’t know if I could re-trust Jonne but I was wiling to give it a try. Reaching the kitchen I grabbed the phone and headed upstairs. I dialed the oh-so familiar number and pressed the phone to my ear.
“Hi, is Jonne there, it’s Ville.” I was so nervous that I began to tap my foot against the bed.
“Jonne, I just wanted to apologize for what a bastard I was being. It’s not my fault that Bam was in love with you and not me.”
“So finally, you’ve come around. I should’ve told you but I thought it was helping to protect you.” He said.
As I hung up the phone with Jonne I was able to sleep easily that night. What I didn’t know what was actually going on at Jonne’s house. What he was planning, how everything would end up.
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i'm almost done with chapter five. so i will TRY to get it up asap
Here's a Vamcard:
♥ Ashley
Author: vamxaddict
Pairing: vam & bam/missy mention but not main pair bam/jonne
Rating: PG-13 or R
Summary: Loving someone that you can’t have is trivial. But thinking that he loves you and having no clue at all is just damn confusing. All the events leading up to that one special sentence, “Do you like me?” Can be like going to hell and back. That’s exactly how Ville Valo feels towards his high school crush Bam Margera.
Chapter One: High School Awkwardness
Chapter Two: Food Fights and Spiked Punch
Chapter Three: Love or Hate?
Chapter Four:Momentary Kisses and Enduring Hugs
The tears clouded my eyes and I could barely see. All my sadness was seeping through into the ground, I was unable to regain feeing. Numbness began to sink into my body and take control. How could he do such a thing? Why did he hurt me so much? I fell so hard, which meant it was going to be hard as fuck to get back up. When I reached home, my mom looked at me, sympathetically.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” She asked.
“Just leave me be.” I croaked, racing to my room and slamming the door shut. I collapsed onto my bed as the tears raged harder than ever. When I was able to, I stood up and began to rip everything off the walls. Then I grabbed the scissors and began to rip at my flesh. The blood was flowing and I reached for an old shirt to stop it. I began to punch my walls with anger. My fists were like balls of hate and I couldn’t get over what I felt. If you got down to the nitty-gritty, Bam had grown to mean so very much to me. I couldn’t believe he felt for Jonne and it made me hate Jonne, not Bam. In my mind it was all Jonne, for some reason I never blamed Bam, I was blind. Jonne was dead to me now and I didn’t care if I had no one.
The next day at school, I sat alone and surprisingly Ryan came to sit by me.
“I didn’t tell.” He said sitting down. I was looking at my food and then peered up at him. Tears were streaking down my face. “Ville, I’m sorry. I knew it would hurt you and I hoped he wouldn’t tell. Bam’s ignorant with emotions, he doesn’t want to face them. But I’m sure he’ll apologize.” Ryan said touching my arm. “Don’t worry. Jonne’s nothing compared to you.”
After breakfast, Ryan walked me to my locker and I saw Bam out of the corner of my eye. He had a look of shame but it began to contort into anger.
“Thanks a lot for listening and helping Ryan. It’s good to have a friend though all this.” I didn’t know if it was suitable to give him a hug but I did anyways, he needed it and I did to.
“It’s no problem.” He said with a smile on his face.
New Years Eve
I laid on my bed the phone pressed against my ear listening to Ryan’s voice. I had been trying for the past months to forget Bam, but it was so hard. He eventually apologized but I don’t think he ever really understood what he was apologizing for. I never forgave Jonne though, I couldn’t. It was just something that was unforgivable to me. Throughout all this crazy drama me and Ryan began to become close friends.
“…so I was telling this funny joke and I meant for her to hear it but as she walked by, I opened my pop and it all came spilling down my shirt. I was so fuckin embarrassed.” Ryan said with a laugh.
“Sounds like a classic.” I laughed.
“Yeah, so you wanna hang out tonight? There’s a party at this private place only select few. But since you’re coming with me, you’ll get in.”
“Oh and you think I couldn’t get in without you, huh?” I said jokingly.
“Do I sense a bet coming on?” Ry chuckled.
“Oh, no. No, no, no. I will not be caught in the middle of one or your bets. We could get Novak?” I said and he burst out laughing on the other line.
“Brilliant, be ready in an hour.”
I was really excited about the party because I hadn’t did anything really exciting in a while. The Jonne and Bam thing had really gotten me down.
“So who’s all gonna be there?” I asked hopping into the car.
“Little bit of everybody. It’ll be good for you to be out.” I began to frown. “Look, if Bam comes I’ll beat his ass if he harasses you. Okay?”
“Yeah, I’m better.” I said with a laugh.
When we arrived at the party it was already packed with people. That’s when I spotted them and began to turn around.
“Oh no you don’t.” Ry said grabbing my arm. “You’re staying and are going to have some fun.
I stayed and jammed with Ryan as we laughed at Novak trying so hard to get through the people at the door.
“Dude, I know that guy right there.” Novak said pointing at Ry trying to get through. Ry waved him on in.
Dancing like retards with Dunn and Novak actually began to be fun, but as the mood turned down a notch we walked away to just hang out.
“You were right, I’m actually having fun.” I said taking a swig of beer.
“Of course, I am brilliant.” Ryan laughed. Then something happened that I never would’ve allowed, maybe. At that moment, I leaned in and my lips connected with Ry’s. As I pulled back I didn’t know what I had just done.
“W-what was that for?” Dunn asked.
“I-I…” Not knowing what to do I just turned around and ran. I ran and ran until I reached a park. It looked unfamiliar, or maybe I had just never noticed in before. To catch my breath I sat on the swings and took a deep breath. Closing my eyes I tried to think of what made me kiss Ryan. I didn’t like him, it was just like a spur of the moment thing. I was just trying so hard to get over Bam that I just moved on to whatever was around. I hoped I hadn’t hurt Ryan because that wasn’t what I had intended to do.
“Something happen back there.” A familiar figure spoke, sitting on the swing next to me.
“Bam, what are you doing here.” I said not looking at him.
“Trying to understand why you kissed Ryan and aren’t talking to me or Jonne. What did I do?”
“Bam… it’s complicated okay. I can’t tell you until I figure it out.”
“Well, if it helps. Telling you I liked Jonne wasn’t right. It was something I shouldn’t have blurted out after not knowing you for very long. Anyways, I don’t talk to him anymore. I’m with Missy full-time. I think that’s best… I guess.” I managed a weak smile and looked into his eyes. But maybe I shouldn’t have, because I fell for him again.
“You forgive me?” Bam said.
“Yeah I do.” I smiled.
“Then you won’t mind if I give you a hug?” I shook my head no and as his arms swung around my body I breathed in his scent. The smell of sweat, beer and cologne mixed into my nose. If the hug lasted longer than it probably should of I didn’t care, I was happy to be back in his life once more.
Me and Bam talked for quite sometime and then walked back to the party.
“You need a lift home?” He asked.
“Um… I think I should patch things up with Ryan.”
“That would be smart. So I’ll see ya later then.”
“Okay.” I waved goodbye and looked for Ry in the sea of people.
“Ryan! Dunn!” I yelled and the he finally turned around.
“Ry, I’m sorry about earlier.”
“What the kiss? Oh, I knew it was not what you intended. Don’t worry, I won’t put it against you.” He said giving me a hug as Novak came up to us, girl in hand.
“Well he’s noticeably clobbered.” I said yelling shotgun as Novak tried to scramble into the backseat with the random girl.
“Hey no fornicating in the mustang.” Ry yelled, reaching back to slap Novak.
“Hey man. That’s not cool.” I laughed the whole way home as Novak tried unsuccessfully to get laid in the car.
“See ya Vil, we can hang out tomorrow? I’ll call ya.”
“Ok. See ya Ry. Novak… be good.” I said with a wink.
“You got it buddy.” Novak said returning the gesture. Walking up to the house I was glad I had gotten my happiness back. I didn’t know if I could re-trust Jonne but I was wiling to give it a try. Reaching the kitchen I grabbed the phone and headed upstairs. I dialed the oh-so familiar number and pressed the phone to my ear.
“Hi, is Jonne there, it’s Ville.” I was so nervous that I began to tap my foot against the bed.
“Jonne, I just wanted to apologize for what a bastard I was being. It’s not my fault that Bam was in love with you and not me.”
“So finally, you’ve come around. I should’ve told you but I thought it was helping to protect you.” He said.
As I hung up the phone with Jonne I was able to sleep easily that night. What I didn’t know what was actually going on at Jonne’s house. What he was planning, how everything would end up.
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i'm almost done with chapter five. so i will TRY to get it up asap
Here's a Vamcard:
♥ Ashley