vagueangel
in
__vam
Just Another Kid
Summary- Bam's known for a while that Ville has a little.. problem. But what happens when it starts getting out of control?
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Ville sat out on the deck, wearing flannel pajama pants and one of Bam’s huge Element hoodies. A cigarette dangled from one hand, burned to the filter, and another dripped from his lips, half smoked. He stared out over the yard, at dead leaves falling and blowing across the grass.
Walking over, Bam sighed and gently took both cigarettes, putting them into an ashtray. He spread a blanket he had brought out over Ville, tucking it around his thin frame. Sitting beside his boyfriend, Bam gently tucked his hair behind his ears.
This was Ville’s latest symptom; completely shutting down and going blank, and Bam was pretty sure it was the most heart-wrenching thing he’d ever seen. At least when he was regressive, he was still Ville, albeit a younger version. When he was shut down, he was.. nothing.
Bam eased Ville back against him, stretching out. He ran a hand through Ville’s hair, trying to ignore the rigidity of his body. “It’s cold out here, Vil. You don’t have any socks on. You’re gonna get sick, baby.”
Still silent and unmoving, Ville continued staring, lips parted slightly, jaw slack. He didn’t react to Bam’s voice or his touch, didn’t relax into the warmth of his lover the way he normally did. The only concession he made to the outside world was the occasional slow blink.
“I wish you’d snap out of this, Willa. I wish you’d get better.” Bam pressed his cheek to the dark curly head resting on his chest. “I miss you when you’re like this.” He leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lover’s forehead, getting no response. But he hadn’t been expecting one.
“It’s getting windy. Let’s go inside, okay?” Bam shifted around until he could get his arms under Ville’s knees and around his back, lifting him carefully. “Damn, baby, for such a skinny bitch, you’re kinda heavy.”
It had become habit to talk to Ville, whether or not he got a response. “Are you gonna eat dinner tonight? I think we’ve got some leftovers from when you cooked Thai.” Bam set Ville down on the couch, sighing as the older man continued to stare in whatever direction he happened to be facing.
Bam bent to tug the blanket back into place over Ville’s cold feet, kissing the top of one. “Well, I’m hungry. So I’ll go heat it up. Maybe when you smell it, you’ll want some, too.” Touching one pale cheek, Bam pulled away slowly and headed into the kitchen.
After a few minutes, Ville blinked, rubbing at his head. He frowned a bit, looking around in confusion. Once realization set in, he let out a heavy sigh and threw off the blanket, patting himself down for his cigarettes.
Smelling Thai, he headed for the kitchen. Ville wrapped his arms around Bam from behind, kissing the back of his neck. He slipped one hand under his shirt to stroke his stomach. “Enough for two?”
Smiling, Bam tilted his head a bit, giving Ville more skin to kiss. “Of course, babydoll. Feelin better?”
“No. I feel quite poorly, actually.” Ville leaned his head on Bam’s shoulder, softly nuzzling his neck. “This fucking sucks.”
Turning, Bam pulled Ville close, hugging him tightly. “It could be worse.”
“Don’t play Mary Sunshine with me. What have you done with my fags?”
Bam sighed and pointed to the kitchen table. “I dunno why you won’t just deal with this. You’re acting like a fuckin child.” He saw Ville straighten, his back stiff, and mentally kicked himself.
“Yes,” Ville said calmly. “That’s what I’ve been told. Don’t bother keeping dinner for me.” He jammed his feet into a pair of sneakers and headed outside, lighting up immediately.
“Fuckin idiot,” Bam muttered, smacking his forehead. He ate quickly, feeling guilty for once again managing to say the worst thing possible. Wrapping up the plate he had made up for Ville, he stuck it in the fridge.
He was trying to think of a way to apologize when he suddenly frowned. Why was he apologizing? Ville didn’t want things to be any different, so why should Bam have to pussyfoot around and watch his mouth? Nodding to himself, he headed outside.
Ville cut him off before Bam could even open his mouth. “I just can’t believe you could say something so insensitive.”
“Hey, you knew when we got together I wasn’t the most sensitive guy on the planet.”
“Yes, I did. But-“
Bam held up his hand. “But nothing. Look, you can’t have it both ways, Vil. Either you want us to keep things the same, or you want me to handle you with kid gloves.”
Ville tilted his head, studying Bam. “You’re wrong. You’re wrong and you’re just being spiteful.”
“I apologize for nothing.” Bam tried glaring back at Ville, ignoring the slightly shocked expression on his face. The hurt was his undoing. “Well, that’s not true. I apologize for some things.”
Looking slightly smug, Ville nodded a bit. Until Bam continued.
“But not a lot of things!” Bam watched Ville lift an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “Several things.”
Lips twitching just a bit, Ville just continued to give Bam a look. He tapped one foot a bit.
Bam crossed his arms as well, setting a stubborn expression on his face. “I apologize for about half the things.”
“Way to stand firm.” Before Bam could respond, Ville started laughing. He shrugged helplessly as his boyfriend glared at him. “It was funny. Plus, at this point, I have no idea what you’re apologizing for. Or what you’re not.”
Glaring for half a second longer, Bam started laughing as well. “Oh, shut up and go eat your dinner. I put your plate in the fridge.” He smiled as Ville cupped his face and kissed him softly.
Ville pulled back and just looked at Bam for a few minutes, drinking in his face. “I love you so fucking much, Bammie. I do want us to keep things the same. I’ll stop being…”
“A goddamn drama queen?” Bam grinned and turned Ville towards the kitchen. “I love you, too. Pain in my ass.” Following him into the kitchen, he grabbed himself a beer and leaned against the counter. “Let’s get drunk tonight.”
Digging a pair of chopsticks out of the drawer, Ville waited for his food to heat up. “Alright, love.” Suddenly, he snickered. “I wonder what would happen if I regressed while I was pissed. Be a bit of a trip for my young alter ego, eh?”
Bam stared for a second before bursting into laughter. “You are just.. not well. On so many levels.” He grabbed a second beer and set it down on the table before Ville. “Hurry up and eat, babe. I wanna get drunk and do stuff to you.”
“How can I turn down such a charming offer?”
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Ville sat out on the deck, wearing flannel pajama pants and one of Bam’s huge Element hoodies. A cigarette dangled from one hand, burned to the filter, and another dripped from his lips, half smoked. He stared out over the yard, at dead leaves falling and blowing across the grass.
Walking over, Bam sighed and gently took both cigarettes, putting them into an ashtray. He spread a blanket he had brought out over Ville, tucking it around his thin frame. Sitting beside his boyfriend, Bam gently tucked his hair behind his ears.
This was Ville’s latest symptom; completely shutting down and going blank, and Bam was pretty sure it was the most heart-wrenching thing he’d ever seen. At least when he was regressive, he was still Ville, albeit a younger version. When he was shut down, he was.. nothing.
Bam eased Ville back against him, stretching out. He ran a hand through Ville’s hair, trying to ignore the rigidity of his body. “It’s cold out here, Vil. You don’t have any socks on. You’re gonna get sick, baby.”
Still silent and unmoving, Ville continued staring, lips parted slightly, jaw slack. He didn’t react to Bam’s voice or his touch, didn’t relax into the warmth of his lover the way he normally did. The only concession he made to the outside world was the occasional slow blink.
“I wish you’d snap out of this, Willa. I wish you’d get better.” Bam pressed his cheek to the dark curly head resting on his chest. “I miss you when you’re like this.” He leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lover’s forehead, getting no response. But he hadn’t been expecting one.
“It’s getting windy. Let’s go inside, okay?” Bam shifted around until he could get his arms under Ville’s knees and around his back, lifting him carefully. “Damn, baby, for such a skinny bitch, you’re kinda heavy.”
It had become habit to talk to Ville, whether or not he got a response. “Are you gonna eat dinner tonight? I think we’ve got some leftovers from when you cooked Thai.” Bam set Ville down on the couch, sighing as the older man continued to stare in whatever direction he happened to be facing.
Bam bent to tug the blanket back into place over Ville’s cold feet, kissing the top of one. “Well, I’m hungry. So I’ll go heat it up. Maybe when you smell it, you’ll want some, too.” Touching one pale cheek, Bam pulled away slowly and headed into the kitchen.
After a few minutes, Ville blinked, rubbing at his head. He frowned a bit, looking around in confusion. Once realization set in, he let out a heavy sigh and threw off the blanket, patting himself down for his cigarettes.
Smelling Thai, he headed for the kitchen. Ville wrapped his arms around Bam from behind, kissing the back of his neck. He slipped one hand under his shirt to stroke his stomach. “Enough for two?”
Smiling, Bam tilted his head a bit, giving Ville more skin to kiss. “Of course, babydoll. Feelin better?”
“No. I feel quite poorly, actually.” Ville leaned his head on Bam’s shoulder, softly nuzzling his neck. “This fucking sucks.”
Turning, Bam pulled Ville close, hugging him tightly. “It could be worse.”
“Don’t play Mary Sunshine with me. What have you done with my fags?”
Bam sighed and pointed to the kitchen table. “I dunno why you won’t just deal with this. You’re acting like a fuckin child.” He saw Ville straighten, his back stiff, and mentally kicked himself.
“Yes,” Ville said calmly. “That’s what I’ve been told. Don’t bother keeping dinner for me.” He jammed his feet into a pair of sneakers and headed outside, lighting up immediately.
“Fuckin idiot,” Bam muttered, smacking his forehead. He ate quickly, feeling guilty for once again managing to say the worst thing possible. Wrapping up the plate he had made up for Ville, he stuck it in the fridge.
He was trying to think of a way to apologize when he suddenly frowned. Why was he apologizing? Ville didn’t want things to be any different, so why should Bam have to pussyfoot around and watch his mouth? Nodding to himself, he headed outside.
Ville cut him off before Bam could even open his mouth. “I just can’t believe you could say something so insensitive.”
“Hey, you knew when we got together I wasn’t the most sensitive guy on the planet.”
“Yes, I did. But-“
Bam held up his hand. “But nothing. Look, you can’t have it both ways, Vil. Either you want us to keep things the same, or you want me to handle you with kid gloves.”
Ville tilted his head, studying Bam. “You’re wrong. You’re wrong and you’re just being spiteful.”
“I apologize for nothing.” Bam tried glaring back at Ville, ignoring the slightly shocked expression on his face. The hurt was his undoing. “Well, that’s not true. I apologize for some things.”
Looking slightly smug, Ville nodded a bit. Until Bam continued.
“But not a lot of things!” Bam watched Ville lift an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “Several things.”
Lips twitching just a bit, Ville just continued to give Bam a look. He tapped one foot a bit.
Bam crossed his arms as well, setting a stubborn expression on his face. “I apologize for about half the things.”
“Way to stand firm.” Before Bam could respond, Ville started laughing. He shrugged helplessly as his boyfriend glared at him. “It was funny. Plus, at this point, I have no idea what you’re apologizing for. Or what you’re not.”
Glaring for half a second longer, Bam started laughing as well. “Oh, shut up and go eat your dinner. I put your plate in the fridge.” He smiled as Ville cupped his face and kissed him softly.
Ville pulled back and just looked at Bam for a few minutes, drinking in his face. “I love you so fucking much, Bammie. I do want us to keep things the same. I’ll stop being…”
“A goddamn drama queen?” Bam grinned and turned Ville towards the kitchen. “I love you, too. Pain in my ass.” Following him into the kitchen, he grabbed himself a beer and leaned against the counter. “Let’s get drunk tonight.”
Digging a pair of chopsticks out of the drawer, Ville waited for his food to heat up. “Alright, love.” Suddenly, he snickered. “I wonder what would happen if I regressed while I was pissed. Be a bit of a trip for my young alter ego, eh?”
Bam stared for a second before bursting into laughter. “You are just.. not well. On so many levels.” He grabbed a second beer and set it down on the table before Ville. “Hurry up and eat, babe. I wanna get drunk and do stuff to you.”
“How can I turn down such a charming offer?”