vagueangel
in
__vam
Just Another Kid
Summary- Bam's known for a while that Ville has a little.. problem. But what happens when it starts getting out of control?
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Ville sat at the large dining room table, chewing anxiously at one fingernail while he listened to Bam talk on the phone. He listened to his lover make an appointment for two days later, once again amazed at the speed with which Bam seemed to get everything done. “You’ll come with me, right? I mean…”
Hearing him trail off, Bam gently ruffled his hair. “Of course I’m going with you, fucktard. I told you, we’re in this together.” He straddled Ville’s lap, trying to comfort him with his nearness. “I still think you should call Mige.”
Stiffening, Ville pulled away as much as he could with Bam in his lap. “No. I already told you, not until I know more. Maybe not even then.” His eyes fell upon the obscenely large poster of his band over the mantle, studying his band mates. “If I can get this sorted out-“
“Ville… You aren’t going to get this sorted out in one or two visits, baby.” Bam looked down at him seriously. “This is gonna take some time. I called the best doctor in the field; he’s in New York, so we’ll have to make a field trip. But he said a couple of months would be a record.”
Face crumbling, Ville leaned into Bam’s chest, burrowing into his shirt. “No,” he whispered. “Months? Maybe it’ll go away on its own. It did before, it didn’t happen for years.” He was babbling and he knew it; he just couldn’t stop. “It’ll go away; it has to. And everything will be back to normal. Everything will be-“
Bam cut him off with a finger to his lips. “You need to do this, babe. Call Mige.” He held out the phone, standing up. “Do you want me here, or-?”
“Yes!” Ville motioned towards the couch, where they cuddled up together. “I’m sorry for being a needy little bitch, but fuck, Bammie… I can’t do this without you.”
Wrapping his arms tightly around his lover, Bam nodded against his shoulder. “No problem.” He watched Ville dial with shaking hands, lifting one pale, slim hand to his lips.
“Mizee?”
From halfway around the world, the voice that was as familiar as his own washed over Ville, comforting him. “Ville? What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
Pressing closer to Bam, Ville took a deep breath. “Remember before the first tour? And back at school? When you said I was blacking out… They weren’t just blackouts, were they.”
Mige sighed softly, wishing he could have this conversation face to face. “No. They weren’t. Are you doing it again? Being like… a kid again?” He closed his eyes and the small affirmative sound he heard. “Oh, Ville…”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Ville clutched the phone so tight his knuckles were white. “Mimi, you still love me, right?”
“Of course I do, you stupid git.”
“I think maybe we should postpone the tour.” Ville looked to Bam for reassurance before laying his head on his chest. “Bam found a really great doctor in New York, and… Will everyone be mad, do you think?”
Making soft, comforting sounds, Mige immediately denied it. “Of course not! I’m so glad you’re going to get help… It’ll get better, Ville, I know it will. And if you need me, you know I’m only a phone call away. The boys will understand.” His voice softened. “Is it bad?”
Ville let out a ragged sigh. “I think so. Bam said it’s been happening more often. I never remember, really…”
When he started speaking softly in Finnish, Bam let go of him and stood. With one last glance to make sure Ville was okay, he wandered out onto the deck, to give him some privacy. He didn’t want Ville to be a complete basket case for the next two days, so Bam started thinking of ways to keep him distracted.
He found himself instead thinking of the past, in the early days when he and Ville had first started fooling around. For all of Ville’s big talk, he had been relatively inexperienced, but had lorded that small edge over Bam mercilessly.
And no one lorded anything over Bam Margera. Bam smiled a bit, remembering when he had finally called Ville on his bullshit.
Yet another sweetly clumsy make-out session. The kissing was fine; it was more than fine. The kissing was some of the best Bam had ever experienced. It was the rest that had made him laugh gently, blushing from the tips of his toes to the roots of his hair. “Damn, Willa, you’d think you’d never fucked a dude before.”
Ville had blushed almost as red, pressing his face into Bam’s neck so he wouldn’t have to meet his eyes. “Well, honestly.. I really haven ’t.” He felt, rather than heard his best friend’s incredulous gasp, and rushed on. “I mean, I’ve done stuff, but not.. that.”
“But they way you tell it, it sounds like you’ve tried every position in the kama sutra, with dudes and chicks, at least twice.” Bam grinned, kissing Ville’s cheek. “And some that you’ve made up yourself.”
“You know I love to exaggerate.” Ville had smiled shyly at Bam, softly caressing his cheek. “Honestly, I’ve tried a few things with Mige.. But he’s so much a part of me that I always figured it was like giving myself a really amazing ‘stranger’.”
Bam had snorted at first, but soon he had been laughing uproariously, both hands over his face. “The next time you wanna ask me why I fuckin love you, Vil, remember this moment, right now.” He had looked up with merry blue eyes, sparkling with tears of laughter. “A really amazing stranger.. Holy shit.”
Cuddling into the gentle embrace, Ville had buried his face in Bam’s neck. “Don’t make fun, Bammie.” He started to softly kiss the skin beneath his lips. “I want it to be you.” Teasing with lips and teeth, Ville had pressed as tight as he could against Bam. “Everything I feel from now on, I want it to be you.”
Bam felt tears prick his eyes, and quickly blinked them away, lighting one of Ville’s strong European cigarettes. “Fuck,” he whispered softly, watching the sunlight reflect off the pool. Suddenly long, strong arms circled his waist, and warm, moist lips pressed against his neck.
“I’m sorry, Bammie. Bloody fuck, I’m so sorry.” Ville pressed his face into the back of Bam’s neck, refusing to meet his eyes. He pressed himself to the toned skater’s body hot against him.
“C’mon, babe.” Bam turned round and rubbed Ville’s back a little roughly, trying to do what he did best; make people laugh. “Don’t apologize. How many times have you had to hold my hair while I puked, or sat through my hangovers, jet lag, catching flu from your stupid Helsinki winters?”
Ville frowned a little, twining his fingers with Bam’s. “This isn’t a bad cold, sweetheart. This is something fucked up in my head.”
Mentally thumping himself, Bam nodded. “I know. I just mean, I’m not goin anywhere. So get it through your thick Finnish skull; got me?"
Smiling a little, Ville threw his arms around his lover, holding on tightly. “My Bammie..” He pulled back just enough to light his own cigarette, still pressed tight to Bam’s chest. “Mizee said he’d be on a plane after one phone call. He said Lily would come and/or, if I wanted.”
Growling softly, low and possessive, Bam wrapped both arms around Ville’s slight frame. “Do you want them here?” He tried to keep his voice neutral, but knew he sounded jealous. “Anything you need. I mean it, really.”
Carefully studying Bam’s face, seeing the bit of jealousy, yes.. But also finding nothing but truth, Ville kissed him hard. “You’re the one I want, Bammie. You know that. You’re the one I’m in love with.” He suddenly faltered, casting his eyes down. “I need you to believe that, love, because.. I don’t think I have the strength to reassure you right now.”
Bam immediately felt awful and reached up to cup his boyfriend’s face with gentle hands. “I know. Listen, don’t worry about me being stupid.” He leaned in for a soft kiss. “I’m with you, Vil, and if you want Linde or Mige here, I’ll buy them plane tickets. Anything you need, fucking anything, just tell me.”
“I have what I need right now.” Ville rested his head on Bam’s shoulder, one arm curled between them, the other hand cupping the back of his neck.
“So, tomorrow I was thinking we just go out and get shittossed all day.” Bam slipped a hand under Ville’s shirt to caress his back gently. “Go open up Jake’s Bar? Maybe Rex’s for kegs and eggs.”
“I’ve got a lot to think about-“
“No, you don’t.” Bam looked up at Ville seriously. “When we go to the doctor, then you’ll have a lot to think about. Tomorrow though.. Tomorrow I just want you to relax and not think about a goddamn thing.”
Ville sighed softly, looking out across the huge yard. He let Bam tug him down to cuddle up in one of the lounge chairs, resting his head against his heartbeat. “So I’m like a small child?”
Kissing his forehead, Bam stroked his lover’s cheek gently. “Don’t do this, babe.”
“I need to ask you one last thing, then I promise I try to drop all this until we see the doctor.”
“Ask away, Willa.”
“Why do you still want to be with me? I mean, I know you say it’s because you love me, but… Wouldn’t it be better for you, wouldn’t it be easier to just.. let me go?”
Bam sighed softly, knowing Ville needed this reassurance, and tilted his pointed chin up so he could look down into pale green eyes. “Ville, you’ve been my best friend for four years; you’ve been my lover for over a year… I don’t want to let you go. I’m too fuckin possessive.”
Smiling a little, Ville nodded. “You are. And I’m so glad.” He toyed with the numerous bracelets on Bam’s wrist, one leg tossed casually over his. Sighing softly, he tried not to think about anything. “You shouldn’t have kicked everyone out of the house, Bammie.”
“I didn’t think you wanted them all knowing about this.” Bam shrugged. “It’s cool, it’s not like I left anyone homeless or anything.” He relaxed under the slight weight of Ville all but lying atop him, tracing patterns on his back. “Let’s just start drinking now. Let’s get wasted and like, watch bad movies.”
“What sort of bad movies?”
“Comedy, horror, fuckin whatever you want.”
Ville stretched, sitting up to light another cigarette. “Comedy, then. I need mindless idiocy to make me laugh.” He gave his boyfriend a teasing half smile. “Maybe we should watch some of your footage, then.”
“You’re such a bitch.” Shaking his head with a grin, Bam sat up as well. “C’mon, you can smoke in the house.”
“But, Bam-“
“Just get that hot ass inside.” Bam grinned and stood, holding out a hand. He pointed Ville to the couch and went to get a couple of beers and an ashtray. Returning to find Ville browsing through his video collection, he set down the supplies and opened the beers.
Ville chose a movie and loaded it, moving to the couch to cuddle up next to Bam. They spent the rest of the day steadily drinking and watching the most idiotic comedy movies Bam owned.
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Ville sat at the large dining room table, chewing anxiously at one fingernail while he listened to Bam talk on the phone. He listened to his lover make an appointment for two days later, once again amazed at the speed with which Bam seemed to get everything done. “You’ll come with me, right? I mean…”
Hearing him trail off, Bam gently ruffled his hair. “Of course I’m going with you, fucktard. I told you, we’re in this together.” He straddled Ville’s lap, trying to comfort him with his nearness. “I still think you should call Mige.”
Stiffening, Ville pulled away as much as he could with Bam in his lap. “No. I already told you, not until I know more. Maybe not even then.” His eyes fell upon the obscenely large poster of his band over the mantle, studying his band mates. “If I can get this sorted out-“
“Ville… You aren’t going to get this sorted out in one or two visits, baby.” Bam looked down at him seriously. “This is gonna take some time. I called the best doctor in the field; he’s in New York, so we’ll have to make a field trip. But he said a couple of months would be a record.”
Face crumbling, Ville leaned into Bam’s chest, burrowing into his shirt. “No,” he whispered. “Months? Maybe it’ll go away on its own. It did before, it didn’t happen for years.” He was babbling and he knew it; he just couldn’t stop. “It’ll go away; it has to. And everything will be back to normal. Everything will be-“
Bam cut him off with a finger to his lips. “You need to do this, babe. Call Mige.” He held out the phone, standing up. “Do you want me here, or-?”
“Yes!” Ville motioned towards the couch, where they cuddled up together. “I’m sorry for being a needy little bitch, but fuck, Bammie… I can’t do this without you.”
Wrapping his arms tightly around his lover, Bam nodded against his shoulder. “No problem.” He watched Ville dial with shaking hands, lifting one pale, slim hand to his lips.
“Mizee?”
From halfway around the world, the voice that was as familiar as his own washed over Ville, comforting him. “Ville? What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
Pressing closer to Bam, Ville took a deep breath. “Remember before the first tour? And back at school? When you said I was blacking out… They weren’t just blackouts, were they.”
Mige sighed softly, wishing he could have this conversation face to face. “No. They weren’t. Are you doing it again? Being like… a kid again?” He closed his eyes and the small affirmative sound he heard. “Oh, Ville…”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Ville clutched the phone so tight his knuckles were white. “Mimi, you still love me, right?”
“Of course I do, you stupid git.”
“I think maybe we should postpone the tour.” Ville looked to Bam for reassurance before laying his head on his chest. “Bam found a really great doctor in New York, and… Will everyone be mad, do you think?”
Making soft, comforting sounds, Mige immediately denied it. “Of course not! I’m so glad you’re going to get help… It’ll get better, Ville, I know it will. And if you need me, you know I’m only a phone call away. The boys will understand.” His voice softened. “Is it bad?”
Ville let out a ragged sigh. “I think so. Bam said it’s been happening more often. I never remember, really…”
When he started speaking softly in Finnish, Bam let go of him and stood. With one last glance to make sure Ville was okay, he wandered out onto the deck, to give him some privacy. He didn’t want Ville to be a complete basket case for the next two days, so Bam started thinking of ways to keep him distracted.
He found himself instead thinking of the past, in the early days when he and Ville had first started fooling around. For all of Ville’s big talk, he had been relatively inexperienced, but had lorded that small edge over Bam mercilessly.
And no one lorded anything over Bam Margera. Bam smiled a bit, remembering when he had finally called Ville on his bullshit.
Yet another sweetly clumsy make-out session. The kissing was fine; it was more than fine. The kissing was some of the best Bam had ever experienced. It was the rest that had made him laugh gently, blushing from the tips of his toes to the roots of his hair. “Damn, Willa, you’d think you’d never fucked a dude before.”
Ville had blushed almost as red, pressing his face into Bam’s neck so he wouldn’t have to meet his eyes. “Well, honestly.. I really haven ’t.” He felt, rather than heard his best friend’s incredulous gasp, and rushed on. “I mean, I’ve done stuff, but not.. that.”
“But they way you tell it, it sounds like you’ve tried every position in the kama sutra, with dudes and chicks, at least twice.” Bam grinned, kissing Ville’s cheek. “And some that you’ve made up yourself.”
“You know I love to exaggerate.” Ville had smiled shyly at Bam, softly caressing his cheek. “Honestly, I’ve tried a few things with Mige.. But he’s so much a part of me that I always figured it was like giving myself a really amazing ‘stranger’.”
Bam had snorted at first, but soon he had been laughing uproariously, both hands over his face. “The next time you wanna ask me why I fuckin love you, Vil, remember this moment, right now.” He had looked up with merry blue eyes, sparkling with tears of laughter. “A really amazing stranger.. Holy shit.”
Cuddling into the gentle embrace, Ville had buried his face in Bam’s neck. “Don’t make fun, Bammie.” He started to softly kiss the skin beneath his lips. “I want it to be you.” Teasing with lips and teeth, Ville had pressed as tight as he could against Bam. “Everything I feel from now on, I want it to be you.”
Bam felt tears prick his eyes, and quickly blinked them away, lighting one of Ville’s strong European cigarettes. “Fuck,” he whispered softly, watching the sunlight reflect off the pool. Suddenly long, strong arms circled his waist, and warm, moist lips pressed against his neck.
“I’m sorry, Bammie. Bloody fuck, I’m so sorry.” Ville pressed his face into the back of Bam’s neck, refusing to meet his eyes. He pressed himself to the toned skater’s body hot against him.
“C’mon, babe.” Bam turned round and rubbed Ville’s back a little roughly, trying to do what he did best; make people laugh. “Don’t apologize. How many times have you had to hold my hair while I puked, or sat through my hangovers, jet lag, catching flu from your stupid Helsinki winters?”
Ville frowned a little, twining his fingers with Bam’s. “This isn’t a bad cold, sweetheart. This is something fucked up in my head.”
Mentally thumping himself, Bam nodded. “I know. I just mean, I’m not goin anywhere. So get it through your thick Finnish skull; got me?"
Smiling a little, Ville threw his arms around his lover, holding on tightly. “My Bammie..” He pulled back just enough to light his own cigarette, still pressed tight to Bam’s chest. “Mizee said he’d be on a plane after one phone call. He said Lily would come and/or, if I wanted.”
Growling softly, low and possessive, Bam wrapped both arms around Ville’s slight frame. “Do you want them here?” He tried to keep his voice neutral, but knew he sounded jealous. “Anything you need. I mean it, really.”
Carefully studying Bam’s face, seeing the bit of jealousy, yes.. But also finding nothing but truth, Ville kissed him hard. “You’re the one I want, Bammie. You know that. You’re the one I’m in love with.” He suddenly faltered, casting his eyes down. “I need you to believe that, love, because.. I don’t think I have the strength to reassure you right now.”
Bam immediately felt awful and reached up to cup his boyfriend’s face with gentle hands. “I know. Listen, don’t worry about me being stupid.” He leaned in for a soft kiss. “I’m with you, Vil, and if you want Linde or Mige here, I’ll buy them plane tickets. Anything you need, fucking anything, just tell me.”
“I have what I need right now.” Ville rested his head on Bam’s shoulder, one arm curled between them, the other hand cupping the back of his neck.
“So, tomorrow I was thinking we just go out and get shittossed all day.” Bam slipped a hand under Ville’s shirt to caress his back gently. “Go open up Jake’s Bar? Maybe Rex’s for kegs and eggs.”
“I’ve got a lot to think about-“
“No, you don’t.” Bam looked up at Ville seriously. “When we go to the doctor, then you’ll have a lot to think about. Tomorrow though.. Tomorrow I just want you to relax and not think about a goddamn thing.”
Ville sighed softly, looking out across the huge yard. He let Bam tug him down to cuddle up in one of the lounge chairs, resting his head against his heartbeat. “So I’m like a small child?”
Kissing his forehead, Bam stroked his lover’s cheek gently. “Don’t do this, babe.”
“I need to ask you one last thing, then I promise I try to drop all this until we see the doctor.”
“Ask away, Willa.”
“Why do you still want to be with me? I mean, I know you say it’s because you love me, but… Wouldn’t it be better for you, wouldn’t it be easier to just.. let me go?”
Bam sighed softly, knowing Ville needed this reassurance, and tilted his pointed chin up so he could look down into pale green eyes. “Ville, you’ve been my best friend for four years; you’ve been my lover for over a year… I don’t want to let you go. I’m too fuckin possessive.”
Smiling a little, Ville nodded. “You are. And I’m so glad.” He toyed with the numerous bracelets on Bam’s wrist, one leg tossed casually over his. Sighing softly, he tried not to think about anything. “You shouldn’t have kicked everyone out of the house, Bammie.”
“I didn’t think you wanted them all knowing about this.” Bam shrugged. “It’s cool, it’s not like I left anyone homeless or anything.” He relaxed under the slight weight of Ville all but lying atop him, tracing patterns on his back. “Let’s just start drinking now. Let’s get wasted and like, watch bad movies.”
“What sort of bad movies?”
“Comedy, horror, fuckin whatever you want.”
Ville stretched, sitting up to light another cigarette. “Comedy, then. I need mindless idiocy to make me laugh.” He gave his boyfriend a teasing half smile. “Maybe we should watch some of your footage, then.”
“You’re such a bitch.” Shaking his head with a grin, Bam sat up as well. “C’mon, you can smoke in the house.”
“But, Bam-“
“Just get that hot ass inside.” Bam grinned and stood, holding out a hand. He pointed Ville to the couch and went to get a couple of beers and an ashtray. Returning to find Ville browsing through his video collection, he set down the supplies and opened the beers.
Ville chose a movie and loaded it, moving to the couch to cuddle up next to Bam. They spent the rest of the day steadily drinking and watching the most idiotic comedy movies Bam owned.