Internal Devistation CH. 4
Title: Internal Devistation CH.4
Pairing: Santa/ Rudolph Ville/ Bam
Rating: G to NC-17 ( In ze later chaps )
Summary: Hm- I was never good at this. NEVER. Well, lovely Ville has a daughter from a previous, destructive relationship. An old friend takes him out for a round of drinks, and introduces him to someone that was to click him out of his depressive funk.
POV: Ville's
Disclaimer: Though we wish, it never happened. I know, depressing. But I own Ava. Oh yes do I own her.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
"Last night. You were being really really like.. affectionate and stuff. You even said that.. 'I fucking love you' thing. I was wondering.. was that.. the alcohol speaking, or your feelings?"
"It-- was feelings."
That night I learned a lot about Bam. About myself as well. Myself in the sense that I figured out my body will swing to both genders. And I gained information that Bam's did too, and it swung for me, just as mine did for him. That night when I thought I'd made a fool of myself my asking a seemingly stupid and hopeless question, it was quite the opposite.
That night while Ava slept, we progressed ever so slowly, with tender touches and soft kisses. There wasn't a Sami there to stop us. Not that we went too far, or anything. I honestly can't even remember who started it, I just know we were kissing gently and running fingers up and down each other's arms and legs at a shiverable delicacy. We both fell asleep to Edward Scissorhands, myself cuddled against him, for I was a thin, little boy. And thin, little boys get cold easily. But Bam didn't seem to mind.
I woke in the morning to Ava poking my forehead with her small, 4 year old index finger, "Daddddyyy-- I'm hungry.." Yawning, I sat up, to find no Bam. I fell asleep pretty much attatched to him, and now he was gone. This made me get up and look around.
"Okay, I'll make you something, just sit down and.. watch TV or something, mkay?" She nodded and sat down where I was laying and turning the television to Cartoon Network like the good girl she is while I walked to the kitchen. There was a paper towel on the counter with writing on it. I got closer and picked it up, it read:
'Ville-
I had to go. Sorry. I would have told you, but.. you looked so peaceful when you were asleep that I didn't want to bother you. I'll be over again today hopefully. See you then.
Hearts,
Bam.'
Smiling, I put it down and proceeded to prepare breakfast for my daughter. Nothing like pancakes and eggs. Bam's words stuck in my head. Of how his drunkeness was just a multiplier of his feelings. Now I wondered if we were technically dating. While drifting in and out of reality, Ava ran over to me, holding her hands behind her back , "Daddy- I have a drawing for you." Looking down I raised my eyebrows, knealing to her young height.
"Really? Let me see," She pulled the paper out from behind her back and held it out to me. I saw me, by now I'd recognize her drawing of me anywhere, and she was there, holding my hand. And someone else's hand. Bam's. She drew Bam and I holding her hands while she was between us. "Ah, it's lovely."
"It's Bam. B-B-B-BAM!" She giggled. Obviously 'Bam' amused her.
"Yes," I laughed, "it is. And you did a great job drawing him."
Nodding, she replied, "Is he coming over again today?"
"Mhmm, he says he is.Why? Do you like him?"
"Yeah. He has cool hair on his face," I nodded in agreement, smiling, until I smelled smoke. And it wasn't my Marlboro's. Quickly I stood up to see her eggs burning.
"Shit.." Muttering, I got it under control while Ava stood and watched. Daddies could do anything. They were like superheros. At least to her, I was. I could do anything in her eyes, "Sorry, angel.. Looks like you get a pancake aannddd.." I looked around the kitchen for something else to go with them.
"Just a pancake. That's fine. Thank you, Daddy," She laid her drawing on the table and took her pancake on it's plate and sitting at the counter to eat it.
"Alright. If you get hungry later, tell me," I nodded and finished cleaning off the chars at the bottom of the frying pan from the eggs. Time passed in a content fashion. Not too fast, and not too slow. I wasn't the most patient of men, nor the most impatient, so I believe things went smoothly during the day. I didn't know what time Bam was planning on coming over, but I was ready since I read the note. And he didn't let me down, he came over sometime that evening.
"BAM!" Ava giggled when I let him in, and then she went back to drawing her unicorn. Bam did the same as the previous day, took off his shoes and gave me his jacket which found it's home upstairs like before. Last night made me a little nervous. I loved what went on, what it meant, but I was nervous that maybe he was nervous too and that we wouldn't ever be able to have something like that again. Because we're both a bit too passive to start something with each other. But I soon figured I needn't fear, for upon returning from putting his coat upstairs, I was greeted with a warm kiss on the cheek. And Ava didn't supply the lips for it.
This made me blush a little, to which the American next to me chuckled. Har har. Smiling nervously, I went and sat at the couch, hoping he'd join me. Which, he did. Bam sat how he normally did, from what I percieved, legs wide, fingers drumming on his kneecaps. "Hey! Bam, look what I drawed!" It was funny how last night she was super shy, and now seemed comfortable around him. He looked over at her when she held up her now finished unicorn.
Bam nodded, "It's pretty, Ava. Pretty like you," my daughter giggled and laid her picture on his leg.
"You can have it," she said, moving to sit on my lap. Such a spoiled little girl when it came to my attention. Her mom neglected her alot, so I was always sure I gave her extra love and care. I leaned back into the couch, putting my long arms around her little waist. This made my new friend smile, taking his handmade artwork and folding it up to put it in his pocket for safe keeping.
Bam started asking Ava questions, he seemed interested in her. She answered them all, eventually laying down on my chest, her cheek pressed against me, and her head directly under my chin. Though time was drawing later, they still talked, her giving out a silent yawn every few minutes. I didn't really say anything, just stayed there, providing a nice laying spot for Ava to keep her warm and comfortable.
It was a sort of Silence of the Lambs game, Bam would ask a question, to which my daughter would answer. And then she would ask one, and he would answer. She had the most-- interesting questions. Asking about if he has a night light, if he was potty trained, and even, "Okay. Bam, do you like.. the envelopes you... lick or the ones with the coolio peel things on them better?"
He paused.
"I prefer.. the ones you-- lick," And to top his lovely statement, he licked his lips and cast his eyes above Ava's and to mine. Which I held them there for a few moments. I'll admit, I'm a hopeless romantic. I fail in the love world, but I try so hard. I love people's eyes, so of course his intrigued me. And also, like the phone, Ava interrupted.
"Well, that's cool. Now YOU gotta ask ME a question," All the while, I was rubbing her back softly and slowly, it seemed to calm the both of us. So he asked her a question, and their little game went on for a while longer before Ava fell asleep in the middle of Bam talking.
Her chest moved heavily to her deep, slumbered breathes. I hadn't been paying attention, my mind was still lost on Bam's liking to lick. That statement and his interesting in me during that question, just sent my head into a whirl. And the whirl ceased and died upon being snapped back by a light shove to my shoulder, causing me to look over at the foreigner. "She's asleep," looking down, I saw that he was correct. I nodded, and stood, leaving a hand under her butt and the other across her back to keep her against me.
I brought her to her room and put her to bed. I was admiring her innocent, pure, untouched beauty, as all people have when asleep, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Jumping slightly, I turned to come face to face with Bam. He smiled softly, "She is just adorable.. And very good at drawing," I nodded, looking back down at her. "She looks so much like you," Again, I nodded. You couldn't deny that she didn't look like me.
And again I asked, "So does that mean you find me adorable?" I put on my best pout and turned to see him best. Our voices were just above whispers.
"Of COURSE you're adorable, my wittle Willa Walllooo," Bam cooed and pinched my cheeks. I laughed and smirked, "come on, let's go back out to the living room." Not like I had much choice, for he'd grabbed my wrist and pulled me out to the couch and pushed me down on it. A little forceful. But I liked it, "Look, Ville, I got something to say."
Pulling my legs up to sit 'indian style' as some say, I nodded, watching him, "Okay. Go on," He sighed, looking to his fidgiting fingers in his lap.
"I.. I like you.. I like you alot," I kinda had a feeling that was coming. But I wanted to hold him in his anxious suspense a little. He seemed really saddened now, for I hadn't answered in about a minute. But he still wouldn't look up, he didn't want to see rejection in my eyes, though there wasn't any.
Raising my hand to his cheek, thumb under his chin, I tilted his head up, "You didn't make a fool of yourself, I like you too." This seemed to make him happy, for the ends of his lips rose, creating a bright smile, and even brighter eyes. It's amazing what 3 small words can do to someone.
"Well.. well- I know.. this is awkward.. a guy asking a guy.. but.. will you go out with me? I know that that's so American, but I ju-" My lips pressed against his to silence him. He was rambling and I don't like rambling. I suppose, and hoped he took that motion as my answer, I expected him to.
Bam kissed back once he figured out what was going on. The two of us smiled against each other's lips, pushing them together harder. My hand found it's way from his chin to his hair, tangling in those chestnut curls. He set his fingers on my sides.
Before long our tongues met again. And oh was it a reunitment. They slid along each other, hot and slippery into the other's warm, wet mouth that was open and welcoming. He seemed to be the more dominant type of person, he liked to be in control of a situation. Which I didn't mind that, for I wasn't the one that liked to tell people what to do, or to be in command. I prefered to let nature take it's course, or to be under command.
I let him remove my shirt, as long as I got to take off his. And this was new to me, this new skin I was seeing before me. I will say, I have a torso fetish. I have a major thing for guys' ( and girls' ) upper halves. I just love the pure, untouched and soft skin. The way their stomachs retract when you touch them. And how one finger on a chest in the right spots, is like two fingers in the lower half. Honestly, I can't explain why I love this part of humans so much. I just do. So deal. XP
He made a move for my pants, but that's where I stopped him. When his fingers looped around that circular metal button that was like the key to my joy, I put my hand over his. I pressed it down, grabbing his hand and pulling it away. I wasn't going to let him do this so early into our, now technically 10 minute relationship.
"Why.. why'd you stop?" Bam pulled his head back from my neck. Obviously he was used to getting what he wanted love-wise.
"I just can't.. not ready for that.." I was glad that he accepted my answer, for it spoke truth. He respected it and pulled his hand back.
"Can I stay here again tonight?" He pouted. Aww. So adorable.
"Heck yes. But the couch is uncomfortable, bedtime, sweetheart." I smirked and he nodded. Taking his hand and leaving our shirts, I went to my room, not bothering with turning on the light. Glancing to see that the bed was clear, I crawled into it, hoping that Bam would follow.
And Bam did. We took off our socks and curled up next to each other under the cool, satin sheets. The only sound I heard was the other man's breath against my face, which is what I soon fell asleep to.
I don't know why I felt so strongly for this young, American boy. But it was nice. To care for someone lovingly again.
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Comments are great. Hm. Blah. XD You are all so kind and you all just make me smile and go SQUEEE really really loud.
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU WHO CELEBRATE IT. ^^;;
Hyvää jouluu.