i feel like i set the bar way too high.

which is probably why i am still alone. blah.

i left my fucking shoe behind.

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.”

yesterday, i got my ass kicked for an hour by a personal trainer and it hurts to sit on the toilet.

today, a prostitute tried to sell me drugs at a gas station. she told me i'd get a discount because i am pretty. then she tried repeatedly to give me her number to "hook up."

i wish i could explain in detail what i hate about every person who has ever done me wrong. i wish i had the courage to say it to them. why i am pissed off and why i am bitter and explain everything that has ever happened that has added to this wall between me and the entire world ( Read more... )

i called a friend today who i have been sort of avoiding because i am too lazy to pick up the phone and discuss the 'whats new' news in my life. i'd rather not talk about it. she tells me her dog who she has had for thirteen years, and has a portrait of tattooed on her leg, is dying. i think back to all the animals in my life that have died. a ( Read more... )

sometimes i go on the craigslist 'missed connections' board just hoping someone is looking for me.

i swear the nights when i am sober it seems like everyone else in the world is totally fucking trashed.

i hate everything about California
because you are leaving me for it
and how the hell do you compete with a state?

i got into the biggest fight with my best friend last night. we never fight but this was screaming. all because of my negativity. all because of some stupid fucking guys. i have never felt more hurt in my entire life. alcohol really fucks people up. i never want to drink again because of last night. it seems like everyone that i have ever cared ( Read more... )