i am a wreck.

ive been trying to be some kind of artist.
im acting like i'm part of some lost generation x
that doesn't exist yet.  [but it will]
while i sit around thinking up crap
and criticizing everything
and saying i could have made it all so much better\
because i'm SO creative
and cunning
while i can't even finish a goddamn story.
im a conceited ( Read more... )

i am just so fucking sick of bull shit.
whatever
i asked for it.

i take so much for granted.  i'm not even able to explain myself.  i keep saying it; but honestly.  i really need to get my act together.  i owe it to so many people.  especially my dad.  today was really horrible but i laughed at myself the whole entire day.  and i really liked it.  everything turned out really great.  for the most part.  it ( Read more... )

everything
is
plummeting
further
into
HELL.

I don't even know what's going on anymore.  I can't take it!!  I miss who I was last year.  and how things were last year.  and how much easier life was.  shit!  this year sucks so far.  and i thought last year was miserable;  it was a picnic.

I am such a little child.
 It is not even funny.
 I really need to grow up this year.
 I'm sick of being such a baby.

I lovehate my schedule.
it's one of those things.
i love latin & I LOVE ART.
i hate everything else.

i do really stupid things.
i'm really going to spend this year getting my act together.

&&
i love you
because you're there for me
even ( Read more... )

hellooooooo!

the past few days i've been hanging out with ann. 
i've been talking her ear off.
incessantly. 
about everything. 
it was really nice.
she'll make a really great psychologist one day.

we looked through the yearbook.
it was the ugliest thing i've ever seen.
I'm going to miss the boys that were in Culinary though.
we had so much fucking fun.
i'm ( Read more... )

my sister is really funny.  today was her first day of highschool, and we spent all day making fun of every aspect of kellenberg... and willy.  this is going to be a really good year.  oh my god, my sister looked so pretty today.  she said she made friends with all the new kids already.  i still don't know half the people in my grade.  lauren is ( Read more... )

i had the strangest dream of my life last night.
i think it's because i've lost any common sense
my mind was trying to hold on to.

i always have writer's block.

it kills me.

i went to newyorkcity.
it was pretty.
as always.

mike marino helped me form a plot to my book.
well, he helped me color it with russian culture.
It's called "the book that would not be ( Read more... )

i don't deserve the people in my life.
i'm a shithead.

Today I walked over to Madeleine's and we watched Sleepover.  Yeaa.  I'm really cool.  I swear it.
Tonight, I went to the mall with my sister.  I offered to buy her food because I made her go shopping with me for 3 hours.  I ended up buying her $7 worth of Taco Bell.  Diana went out on a date ( Read more... )

I love
chasing David;
making drug deals in asian minivans;
affairs with beautiful italian men;
chocolate gelato;
subways that get stuck;
songs that get stuck
 in my head;
newyorkcity.

but I love ann&caity more.