had an extremely nostalgic day today.

the kicker? for once, it was a good thing.

i ran this morning. ran away from the years i wasted and the days that i killed. i wanted to disappear, but i couldn't get far enough before i ran out of breath.

Saturday afternoon, day 1: Take two naps--one in front of a movie from my ( Read more... )

When I think of you, flashlights flicker out of nowhere. I squint to avoid the sting, but
it's only a defense-mechanism. I don't mean to retract when you reach out. I just
can't help it. That's how it always was.

She would suck me dry and flick me to the ground, snuffing out my burning innocence
by digging in her heel. Maybe I was just a cancer to ( Read more... )

The more things change, the more I want them to stay the same. A letter to an old
friend, my weakness:

* * Begin Letter * *

Regretfully,

I don't like being 20. I want to say that I'm not immature; that I don't fantasize about
being young and naive; that I'm experienced enough now to say that I am a
product of my youth, and not the opposite; ( Read more... )

Ok. I want to tell you about my morning thus far, so fucking listen up. ;)

a) I woke up to my alarm sounding, but I couldn't find it (my cell phone is my alarm).
This disturbed me at first, but I realized I was just waking up, and couldn't even
really remember my name, let alone locate the obnoxious beast that is my alarm ( Read more... )

I got her back. She's so fucking beautiful. I think about her all day at work, and want
to sit with her all day at home. I love her smell, and the way she looks at night.
She still has some problems in her day-to-day life--especially in the morning--but
I've never been happier. I'm so close to having everything.. I ask her how much
she loves me, ( Read more... )

So, I was driving my car. Now I can't. My expensive, beautiful, fast, fucking incredible
fucking machine fucking broke. It won't start. I won't be able to fix it for a long
time. Fucking money. Fucking job. Fucking car.

Well, it's 7:25. I don't want to go to work, but I have to. That'll teach me to take a
Wednesday off; can't cheat the system and get an early weekend.

More to the point: I need more time off, a raise, or possibly another promotion/job
change. I feel like I'm hitting the wall there. I'm pushed so much harder than my
predecessor, and god damnit, I ( Read more... )

All right. Let me preface this entry with one important fact: Finger Eleven's new album
(self-titled) is incredible. Anybody who thinks otherwise is a fucking dirty liar, and I
will deal with them personally. I am so god damn excited to finally purchase a new
CD that I don't hate. I actually pseudo-liked Cold's, and I'm not really a huge
fan of ( Read more... )