-letter.to.a.friend, 2003/08/18 23:05

[heretic]

The more things change, the more I want them to stay the same. A letter to an old
friend, my weakness:

* * Begin Letter * *

Regretfully,

I don't like being 20. I want to say that I'm not immature; that I don't fantasize about
being young and naive; that I'm experienced enough now to say that I am a
product of my youth, and not the opposite; that, like Sean Connery, I am growing
toward perfection. If I said that, I would be lying, however. Truth: I am immature. I
fantasize about being young and naive, reliving those experiences which felt so
passionate and raw. I am a product of my age--I worry about my health, feel
nervous around the generation(s) younger than I, and even associate myself with
men and women (not kids). I take things too seriously, and I don't know when my
personality is becoming oppressive. I am entrenched in 'my ways'.

I am old. I am rotten, stinking year on top of rotten, stinking year. I am a carcass of my
past, decaying into the ground only to become something else: something
unfamiliar, different, and certainly not me. I am a concept which has come to
define me, and I resent it.

You generally comfort me. Touch base.

-Sean

* * End Letter * *

-end.youth