I think you're absolutely justified in feeling the way you do about your mother. It's easier said than done, I know, but if your relation to someone is causing you hurt and distress moreso than more positive feelings, it's probably right to distance yourself from them, at least for some time. It's crazy how we have this sense of emotional obligation towards our parents, even when they, objectively speaking, have done nothing to deserve it and perhaps even been purposely vile in return.
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*hugs*
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