Potato 2015.06: Hamada, Kamiyama, Shigeoka
Note that I am self-taught, and not a native Japanese speaker. There may be errors. Feel free to share, but please don’t claim this as your own translation. Corrections are welcome.
In this crosstalk, the three of them talk about their ideal date, their ideal type of girl, what kind of man they'd like to be towards their girlfriend, and some... interesting(?) recent events.
Shigeoka: First off is the ideal date huh.
Hamada: Theme park!
Kamiyama: Beach!
Shigeoka: It's okay to say more ridiculous things though? We're talking about ideal, after all. Let's do it again, don't think about the budget or the schedule!
Hamada: Theme park!!
Shigeoka: Okay, no change~ (laughs)
Hamada: No really, I want to do a date where we walk around the park while talking, eat delicious food, and go shopping.
Shigeoka: That certainly seems fun. How about Kami-chan? Where would you go to the beach?
Kamiyama: During this season Okinawa is nice. You can even use your feet. I want to splash around with the two of us.
Shigeoka: But because Kami-chan likes cleanliness, if your partner were to playfully splash water at you, you would get mad and say "Tch!"
Kamiyama: I'd get mad (laughs). What about Shige?
Shigeoka: I'd go to Costa Rica.
Hamada/Kamiyama: Haa!?
Shigeoka: No, I'm not being silly. There's apparently a tour around the town on horseback. I want to do that! It should definitely be fun.
Kamiyama: The scale of your talk is huge. But I think it's good. You have a dream (laughs).
Shigeoka: Right. By the way, what kind of qualities do you seek in your love partner?
Kamiyama: Are actions also okay? For me, it makes me happy if she softly came near me without saying anything.
Hamada: What do you mean? Like suddenly you realize she's standing behind you?
Shigeoka: That's scary! (laughs) No, Hama-chan, you would be looking at something right? And then she would be next to you, and the two of you would be looking at the same thing, side by side. (moving to demonstrate description)
Kamiyama: Right. I want that natural atmosphere between us.
Hamada: What Shige did looks like an old man looking at home appliances but he can't actually see them (laughs). For me anyway, I look for sunniness. For example, while she's asleep, in the morning I wake up but she completely can't wake up. But if I say "I made a mistake~" she'd jump up and say "Ui~!"
Shigeoka: Kojima Yoshio-san (laughs).
(t/n: ヘタこいた～ is Kojima Yoshio's gag)
Kamiyama: That's definitely a lie~
Hamada: Really really. I like a good girl who's cheerful and excited.
Shigeoka: But maybe I also want a sunny girl. I don't need mysterious elements at all. Like I'd be troubled if there was a mysterious sword wound on my back (laughs). My ideal date is probably spending time having fun with an open hearted and sunny girl.
Hamada: You're the type that likes to give surprises?
Shigeoka: Mmm, I probably want to give them around my partner's birthday. Because it would be revealed if it were on the actual day, I would secretly call a bunch of friends about three days in advance to celebrate with everyone then.
Hamada: That's good.
Kamiyama: But after doing it every year wouldn't it not be a surprise anymore? Therefore, there should be years where you do a surprise and years where you don't... you'd want to successfully adjust to that.
Hamada: For me, I'd want to have a cake prepared at home.
Shigeoka: At the entrance?
Hamada: Right, right. When my partner steps through...
Shigeoka: "I made a mistake!" (laughs).
Hamada: That kind of excitement is okay (laughs). After that, I'd suddenly give presents on a day that has no meaning for example.
Kamiyama: Ah, that's good! Like while you're looking around the town you think "that seems like it would suit my girlfriend," buy it and hold on to it, and then casually hand it to her.
Shigeoka: It's like "I happened to buy it because I thought it was cute." That surprise would definitely make her happy. Sometimes, when my father comes back and acts like he happened to buy sushi, I get unexpectedly happy (laughs).
Hamada: Like what, for example (laughs).
The thing that a man wants to protect will make him stronger!
Hamada: So next, what kind of man would you like to be towards your girlfriend.
Kamiyama: That's easy. I want to be a dependable man. For example, if she has a problem, I want to properly listen to her talk, and be able to give advice if I can.
Shigeoka: Kami-chan will kindly listen to the story carefully. Whether he can resolve it is separate though (laughs). I want to be a head on* and poised man probably. Of course I also have innermost thoughts that make me anxious and shaken, that's being human after all. But I don't want her to see that. No matter what I want to become a man that will say "it's okay!" and protect her. How about Hama-chan?
Hamada: I want to be a head on* and poised man.
(t/n: *they both used ドーン which is a sound effect........pls I am not positive I picked the right word here. basically the sense is they'd be like :BAM: ...if that makes sense at all)
Shigeoka: That was my comment! Comment thief! Arrest him, arrest him!
Hamada: No, I thought that while listening to Shige's comment just now. I want to become a man that will protect people important to me during emergencies. I want to be a strong man in many ways.
Shigeoka: Spiritually and physically huh. For that sake, right now, everyone is working on body building (laughs). It's said that a tough spirit dwells in tough flesh!
Kamiyama: If there's something a guy wants to protect, he will become stronger.
Shigeoka: I've decided!! (laughs) Okay, last we'll talk about recent events. Kami-chan?
Kamiyama: Recently, I'm addicted to an e-book reader that I recommended to Shige. It's the best, it's compact and I can even read it while we're moving in the vehicle.
Hamada: For me, this morning, I was addicted to being half asleep on the toilet seat... I'm sorry about this story (laughs).
Shigeoka: It's okay if you don't continue that story (laughs). I'm addicted to rearranging audio products. Because music will safe (he was trying to say save) the earth... it seems it did not save me though (laughs). And then Johnny's WEST's tour is coming soon!
(t/n: basically he misspoke, he said "shuku" instead of "sukuu" so I put "safe" instead of "save")
Kamiyama: I want to see us do the best fun things.
Hamada: I would want to see a lot of smiles from all the fans!
Shigeoka: Let's challenge it with full force!!
Translated using scans from yoshiko_mama
In this crosstalk, the three of them talk about their ideal date, their ideal type of girl, what kind of man they'd like to be towards their girlfriend, and some... interesting(?) recent events.
Shigeoka: First off is the ideal date huh.
Hamada: Theme park!
Kamiyama: Beach!
Shigeoka: It's okay to say more ridiculous things though? We're talking about ideal, after all. Let's do it again, don't think about the budget or the schedule!
Hamada: Theme park!!
Shigeoka: Okay, no change~ (laughs)
Hamada: No really, I want to do a date where we walk around the park while talking, eat delicious food, and go shopping.
Shigeoka: That certainly seems fun. How about Kami-chan? Where would you go to the beach?
Kamiyama: During this season Okinawa is nice. You can even use your feet. I want to splash around with the two of us.
Shigeoka: But because Kami-chan likes cleanliness, if your partner were to playfully splash water at you, you would get mad and say "Tch!"
Kamiyama: I'd get mad (laughs). What about Shige?
Shigeoka: I'd go to Costa Rica.
Hamada/Kamiyama: Haa!?
Shigeoka: No, I'm not being silly. There's apparently a tour around the town on horseback. I want to do that! It should definitely be fun.
Kamiyama: The scale of your talk is huge. But I think it's good. You have a dream (laughs).
Shigeoka: Right. By the way, what kind of qualities do you seek in your love partner?
Kamiyama: Are actions also okay? For me, it makes me happy if she softly came near me without saying anything.
Hamada: What do you mean? Like suddenly you realize she's standing behind you?
Shigeoka: That's scary! (laughs) No, Hama-chan, you would be looking at something right? And then she would be next to you, and the two of you would be looking at the same thing, side by side. (moving to demonstrate description)
Kamiyama: Right. I want that natural atmosphere between us.
Hamada: What Shige did looks like an old man looking at home appliances but he can't actually see them (laughs). For me anyway, I look for sunniness. For example, while she's asleep, in the morning I wake up but she completely can't wake up. But if I say "I made a mistake~" she'd jump up and say "Ui~!"
Shigeoka: Kojima Yoshio-san (laughs).
(t/n: ヘタこいた～ is Kojima Yoshio's gag)
Kamiyama: That's definitely a lie~
Hamada: Really really. I like a good girl who's cheerful and excited.
Shigeoka: But maybe I also want a sunny girl. I don't need mysterious elements at all. Like I'd be troubled if there was a mysterious sword wound on my back (laughs). My ideal date is probably spending time having fun with an open hearted and sunny girl.
Hamada: You're the type that likes to give surprises?
Shigeoka: Mmm, I probably want to give them around my partner's birthday. Because it would be revealed if it were on the actual day, I would secretly call a bunch of friends about three days in advance to celebrate with everyone then.
Hamada: That's good.
Kamiyama: But after doing it every year wouldn't it not be a surprise anymore? Therefore, there should be years where you do a surprise and years where you don't... you'd want to successfully adjust to that.
Hamada: For me, I'd want to have a cake prepared at home.
Shigeoka: At the entrance?
Hamada: Right, right. When my partner steps through...
Shigeoka: "I made a mistake!" (laughs).
Hamada: That kind of excitement is okay (laughs). After that, I'd suddenly give presents on a day that has no meaning for example.
Kamiyama: Ah, that's good! Like while you're looking around the town you think "that seems like it would suit my girlfriend," buy it and hold on to it, and then casually hand it to her.
Shigeoka: It's like "I happened to buy it because I thought it was cute." That surprise would definitely make her happy. Sometimes, when my father comes back and acts like he happened to buy sushi, I get unexpectedly happy (laughs).
Hamada: Like what, for example (laughs).
The thing that a man wants to protect will make him stronger!
Hamada: So next, what kind of man would you like to be towards your girlfriend.
Kamiyama: That's easy. I want to be a dependable man. For example, if she has a problem, I want to properly listen to her talk, and be able to give advice if I can.
Shigeoka: Kami-chan will kindly listen to the story carefully. Whether he can resolve it is separate though (laughs). I want to be a head on* and poised man probably. Of course I also have innermost thoughts that make me anxious and shaken, that's being human after all. But I don't want her to see that. No matter what I want to become a man that will say "it's okay!" and protect her. How about Hama-chan?
Hamada: I want to be a head on* and poised man.
(t/n: *they both used ドーン which is a sound effect........pls I am not positive I picked the right word here. basically the sense is they'd be like :BAM: ...if that makes sense at all)
Shigeoka: That was my comment! Comment thief! Arrest him, arrest him!
Hamada: No, I thought that while listening to Shige's comment just now. I want to become a man that will protect people important to me during emergencies. I want to be a strong man in many ways.
Shigeoka: Spiritually and physically huh. For that sake, right now, everyone is working on body building (laughs). It's said that a tough spirit dwells in tough flesh!
Kamiyama: If there's something a guy wants to protect, he will become stronger.
Shigeoka: I've decided!! (laughs) Okay, last we'll talk about recent events. Kami-chan?
Kamiyama: Recently, I'm addicted to an e-book reader that I recommended to Shige. It's the best, it's compact and I can even read it while we're moving in the vehicle.
Hamada: For me, this morning, I was addicted to being half asleep on the toilet seat... I'm sorry about this story (laughs).
Shigeoka: It's okay if you don't continue that story (laughs). I'm addicted to rearranging audio products. Because music will safe (he was trying to say save) the earth... it seems it did not save me though (laughs). And then Johnny's WEST's tour is coming soon!
(t/n: basically he misspoke, he said "shuku" instead of "sukuu" so I put "safe" instead of "save")
Kamiyama: I want to see us do the best fun things.
Hamada: I would want to see a lot of smiles from all the fans!
Shigeoka: Let's challenge it with full force!!
Translated using scans from yoshiko_mama