cambria elisabeth
deviantART / art tumblr / photo tumblr / nabyn
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one of the scariest things about being medicated is that you can still hallucinate and still have delusions, though for me they're not nearly as tense and usually i can step back and be like well this is some bullshit happening. this is scary because it's really easy to fall into this delusion: i'm medicated, so i'm ok. i'm medicated, this must be ( Read more... )

the day before my last day in greenville, idk how many of you remember this, i was attacked. i came home and drank until i could pass out and i was crying hysterically and my faggot roommate called the cops and said i was trying to kill myself which for once i wasn't. i screamed at him and every single medic that i couldn't afford the hospital, don ( Read more... )

time is getting shorter for me, things go by faster. when did october become february? my sense of balance, my placement in time and space is screwed, i don't like it. when a moment is over, i feel the intensity of that moment being gone forever. i will never, ever, ever be in that moment ever again. i feel like i'm fading away from the world, ( Read more... )

last night me and nate were drinking and getting high at work and there was so much ice outside and we kept sliding around. we decided tuesday to invite courtney and lyric over and we are going to drink enough to use the bottlecaps to glue on things and make pictures. melvin and someone i never met named mike and alejandra picked me up and we were ( Read more... )

the past few days i cant sleep. i stay awake until i pass out without realizing it, then i wake up in what feels like another life and everything is so real, then i wake up back here feeling like i havent slept a single fucking second. i'm so nauseated and my appetite is shot and if i eat i will feel so much worse either until i pass out again or ( Read more... )

i'm transitioning from seroquel to geodon and it's not going well. i guess because the seroquel is getting out of my system faster than geodon can get in. wellbutrin is still giving me really weird vivid dreams, it's a lot like.. living a second life, which isn't good for me mentally to be dealing with right now. the hallucinations have come back ( Read more... )

i forget to post a lot so here are some things. scruffy died a few months ago, promise died last month, both of my mice have died. i have met a lot of new people in this past month and it's great but i am still pretty suicidal and self harming when i am lonely. i am broke all the fucking time between bills, cigarettes, weed, medicines, and my dog/ ( Read more... )

i had a dream that me and worf were sitting in a corner in ten forward smoking weed, and data was with us but obviously not smoking, and playing poker on the floor. deanna came in and sat down next to me and asked if i was happy onboard. i told her i loved being a scientist and being able to work really hard at something i love with people that i ( Read more... )

yesterday my manager spent an hour standing outside to tell me everything that is wrong with me not just as an employee but as a person. we have a new hire that is becoming assistant manager because she has a lot of management experience and she seemed really nice but has been saying a lot of shit about me to chris. she has said shit about me to ( Read more... )