trente huit: anger arrives.

[453gof_flesh]

I miss

I ought to

Fuck, I hate her. I hate her.

Someone ought to die for this.

I am sick of.

[Private to Donny - audio]

I don't think I can live like this, Donny.

I shouldn't be this weak and pathetic. I can barely defend myself like this, I can barely do anythingI want. I want this to go away. And all I have the empty promise of some magic

Comments

[spam]

[actuallyagolem]

[Welp, that was a cry for help. Donny decided right off the bat that he and Clapet needed a little talk, so he locked the door to his cabin and went off to visit his poor, depressed inmate, listening to the post with his communicator to his ear once along the way.

He pocketed the device and knocked on the door loudly.]

Clapet, it's me. Can I come in?

Re: [spam]

[actuallyagolem]

Sorry won't, I know.

[Donny scratched his head, the cigarette making him look like his hair was on fire.]

I guess the only thing to do is try and keep pushing forward, yaknow? What else can you do? She's got wardens keeping watch ovah here now, and we'll both kill her if she comes neah you. [He took another drag, coughing a little again. Not manly.]

Re: [spam]

[453gof_flesh]

[Clapet reached over for his ashtray and knocked the ash off without a word for a long moment,]

I don't want to be a whiny fuck. I don't, Donny. But after all of this? Only one of us can even fucking stand. And that ain't fucking on, Donny.

But there's nothing you can fucking do, and that just makes it fucking worse. So fucking... powerless over the whole fucking thing.

Re: [spam]

[actuallyagolem]

[Donny got up and did the same, pulling his chair a little closer to the ashtray to make that reaching thing less awkward.]

Not gonna lie, I can't see what else you can do. I mean, I've got set up with the kitchens, we've got you back in your room....I guess what you're gonna hafta do is try to be less bitter when you see her. Because you know if you do kill her, she's just gonna come back.

[He cringed,] I fucking snapped her rips and she won't let me fucking forget it, Clapet.

Re: [spam]

[453gof_flesh]

You should have killed her, Donny. Or cut her fucking leg off.

[He grimaced and stubbed out the rest of his cigarette.]

D'you think she'd prefer death to snapped ribs around here? It's got a quicker bitching about it turn around.

Re: [spam]

[actuallyagolem]

See, problem with her is she likes to gloat, but she's gonna bitch and moan about anything I do. If I had killed her, well, then I'm a fucking bad warden who needs to be demoted. If I didn't do anything? Then I'm a fucking useless warden.

[He took another long drag from the cigarette, filling his lungs with the smoke before exhaling slowly.] But she's miserable, Clapet, and she's really sensitive about her work. [Eye roll.] That's the real way to taunt her, yaknow.

[Donny finished his cigarette and stubbed it out alongside Clapet's in the ashtray.] Thing is? There's no way to win with her. You do better, it's her doing. You do worse, it's my doing. God forbid anything you do or decide can be your own doing and not influenced by somebody else.

Re: [spam]

[453gof_flesh]

I'd like to see her blame you for me stabbing her eyeballs out. That's called fucking payback.

[He sighed and stared up at the ceiling,] I just want to fucking forget she did anything at all. But I can't when I'm fucking stuck with a permanent reminder of the shit crazy fucking bitches make me do to keep myself alive.

[There was a hollow laugh to follow that,] I wonder if she's even fucking thought that she proved me right, Donny? I mean. I did what I had to to survive. Just like I fucking did in the real world.

Re: [spam]

[actuallyagolem]

[Donny did his best to hide his frown. He hated that Amanda had proved him right. He almost wished he had died, just because it was such a major hangup with Clapet. It was key to the guy's redemption.]

I don't think she really fucking cares, Clapet. She didn't do that to you to save you. She didn't do anything to help you - she wanted to fucking prove that her mentor....dad....whatever the fuck he was, she just wants to prove he was right.

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[453gof_flesh]

[Clapet just grimaced,] Well, of course she didn't. It's not like she even fucking knew me, you know?

The other guys, the other guys, I could get. They wanted revenge. I just... she makes least sense and did most damage.

[Which was implicitly admitting that this was worse than getting killed, but he hadn't thought about it like that yet.]

Re: [spam]

[actuallyagolem]

[Donny clung to that admission a little. It was something he could use.]

Not like she wants to fucking get to know you either, Clapet, but she's gonna hound you forevah about this. [He frowned and leaned back into his chair.]

Killing you probably would have been bettah. Would've made more sense anyway.

Re: [spam]

[453gof_flesh]

Nothing'd make sense coming from her.

[He shrugged,] I will just keep killing her if she keeps hounding me. You won't be able to stop me if you try, Donny, I'll find a way.

[He didn't really sound quite so sure of that right now.]

Re: [spam]

[actuallyagolem]

[Donny really didn't want him going out for revenge, but he wasn't going to stop him.

Still, he knew that with Clapet stuck in his wheelchair it wasn't very likely he'd be chasing her down any time soon. Though he could run her down....

He stopped himself from snorting.]

I don't want to stop you. You have every right to defend yourself. I don't want you stahtin' fuckin' fights though. I draw the fucking line at that, you got me?

Re: [spam]

[453gof_flesh]

[He nodded and lit another cigarette,] Not starting a fight. Got it.

But if she comes within a corridor of me, I'm taking that as a threat, Donny. I'm not taking any risks.

Re: [spam]

[actuallyagolem]

[Donny just shrugged. That seemed pretty fair to him.] Fine.

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[453gof_flesh]

[He took another careful drag off his cigarette. He still didn't feel much better about the whole situation. Shouting had helped, but he felt useless.

However, he wasn't the sort of guy to moan when he knew damn well there was nothing either Donny or himself could do about it.]

I better get going on this meat stuff, hadn't I? [He'd started, but it took some work.] 'Bout time.

Re: [spam]

[actuallyagolem]

[Donny nodded his head,] Yeah. Gotta keep busy, guy.

[He shrugged,] so seein' as how you can't really move around to sweep up hair and stuff, I guess we'll just make this kitchen thing your full time job.