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Early in nearly every rock concert, political rally, or other such event with an exuberant and/or rowdy audience, a lone figure will take the mic and ask the crowd how they're doing. If necessary, they will also name the city they are in, either to remind themselves of this volatile information, or to draw awe from the crowd that the name of their ( Read more... )

Morning commuteAs I headed north, urgent-looking red and blue blinkenlights appeared on the southbound side, but in an unusual configuration. As they neared, I could see they were on a bus or other Vehicle Of Unusual Size. When we crossed, I saw the words "San Francisco Bomb Squad" lettered across the side. No information found on where they were ( Read more... )

A few weeks ago, exhausted after the day's questing, we checked into our Vallejo hotel near midnight, with room number 520 to call our own. Imagine our joy when we stepped off the elevator to see this sign:

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Several years ago, back when I was still a Costco member, a $12 investment nicely addressed the disappearing Sharpie problem, for what I thought would be forever ( Read more... )

At least it's honest.

From: News
To: Worreschk Thomas (???)
Subject: I'm Sorry, America - You're Not The Smartest

With Penis Enlarge Patch your penis will be bigger than Statue of Liberty!

Um... no thanks. Really, very no. Sounds unwieldy at best, probably quite uncomfortable. Not to mention the great expense of pants and the inevitable roof repair.

Jeez, who writes this stuff?

I'm not sure which came first, the ostentatious "Mobile Notary" stencil across the car's back windshield, or the custom license plate reading "FXYMAMA". But either way, this makes it clear that the owner must be a higher caliber of notary than your run of the mill non-foxy variety. Demand only the finest quality!

a: Salutation, disposable character!
b: Reciprocal pleasantries, opposite-gendered second voice provided for sonic variation and implied heterosexual romantic overtones!
a: Minimal segue from nonexistent setting into unnatural mention of frustration with competing product or absence thereof.
b: Identification of advertised product by name, ( Read more... )

During all stages of air travel, announcements are profusely peppered with the phrase "at this time":
"At this time we would like to welcome passengers in group B to board ( Read more... )