AB/BtVS FF: Alive at Last 55/? (Willow/Asher)
TITLE: Alive at Last
AUTHOR: 38gnihsurc
RATING: en.sea.xvii overall
PAIRING: Willow/Asher
SPOILERS: Up until Micah for AB; the two shows for Buffyverse stuff.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone. I'm just having a little fun.
NOTES: This story is AU, since it's a crossover; because of that, I've taken a few creative liberties with explaining why the BtVS vampires are different than the AB vampires, and so on.
Previous Chapters: 1-3, 4, 5, 6-7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23-4, 25, 26-7, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32-3, 34, 35-6, 37-8, 39, 40-1, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49-50, 51-2, 53, 54
PART FIFTY-FIVE
Willow refused to see anyone.
Asher had woken up, fed, and prepared for the day with Jean-Claude; when he stepped into the hallway, he saw the others and heard the story. So much of it came from Richard and it amazed the blond vampire that the Ulfric had spent any time at all with his human servant. Angel and Spike filled in the rest of the story, since Spike had seen it firsthand and since Angel had heard the rest from his slayer friend. Gunn and Connor supported it with anecdotes of their own, from the time they saw the witch use magic. He listened to the story and felt worry creeping into his mind.
Even Anita looked shaken, although she was riding some sort of metaphysical high from the event.
When he approached the black haired woman, she was curled in Jean-Claude's arms, close to Micah who was resting in his human form. He kneeled down in front of her seated form and put his hands on her knees.
She smiled. "It was incredible," Anita whispered. "I never felt anything like it."
"Why isn't she... why is she alone?"
Anita explained how she had broken off from the group once they arrived at the Circus of the Damned. She told him that she ran down the stairs faster than anyone else and she had disappeared into their suite before anyone could stop her. The door had been locked and when Angel tried to knock on it, she yelled and begged to be left alone.
He kissed Anita's forehead and whispered that he was glad she was alright. He even went to Richard and thanked him for helping Willow, innuendo and snide remarks excluded. The werewolf king pulled him aside and told him the bits of conversation that he had left out of the story; the truth shocked Asher but at the same time, it didn't, since he knew that Willow had been running from something for a long time.
Then, he left Richard's side and walked down the hall, towards the suite he shared with Willow.
He knocked on the door but heard no response. He tried the door knob but found it wouldn't turn. With a sigh he hadn't needed to make, he put his hands on the door and gave it one solid push. The door gave under the force he had exerted upon it, and he stepped inside.
Asher didn't find Willow until he went to the bedroom. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed and objects from the room---trinkets, small paintings in their frames, hair brushes, make up, discarded clothing, etc.---were flying in a circular path around her head.
"Mon colibri---"
"You shouldn't be here," Willow whispered.
"You are mine to worry about," he reminded her, "mine to love... and I choose to do both at this moment."
She sniffled. "Go away, Asher," she whispered. "Please, just... just let me---"
"Sit on our bed and mope?" he inquired. He stepped towards her, narrowly dodged the circle of floating objects, and kneeled in front of her. "This is, I'm guessing, some sort of witch moping?"
"N-no," she replied. "This is me, trying to get a grip on my control."
Asher moved carefully. He climbed onto the bed, crawled behind her, and enveloped her in his arms. He drew her between his legs so her back could be pressed against his chest and then he rested his chin on her shoulder.
"They told me what happened, mon colibri," he whispered. "Richard told me what happened, too. I know."
"Do you know th-that I could have k-killed those girls?" she mumbled shakily.
"Yes."
Willow sniffled again and her head bowed forward. He was instantly reminded of how he first found her, shaking and alone, and he wanted to help her again but he wasn't sure how to help her.
"I know you didn't, though," he whispered before nuzzling the back of her neck. "You allowed them to assist you. They reminded you of the things the power wanted you to forget and you came back."
"I didn't want to," Willow admitted. "I wanted to... to let it burn me up. I felt it after I created the storm... and when that girl threw her magic at me, the magic in me wanted to eat her for breakfast." Her voice wavered as she spoke again, "It felt like it did when Tara died, except there wasn't any grief. I wanted her to hurt her, Asher. I wanted to hurt her and her friends in ways unimaginable."
Asher wanted to tell her that he could imagine many of those ways, or that he had probably used some of those ways to hurt others, but he remained silent. He could feel that she wanted to say more.
"I remembered how it felt to rip Warren's skin from his body. I could smell it. And... and I knew I could do it again to those girls without even thinking twice about it. Without twitching my baby finger, Asher," she whispered. "It wanted out... it wanted control, like it's a whole other being. I wanted to do those horrible things all over again..." she trailed off and sobbed for a few minutes.
Asher did nothing but hold her, waiting for her to speak again.
"How can you sit here and hold me?" she asked. The items floating began to spin faster around them and Asher wondered, as she spoke again, if the speed and shape of their orbit was directly proportional to her emotional state. "I'm not a good person. I'm not. I... I could have---"
"You did not," he interrupted. "And I will hold you as long as you allow me to."
"Why?"
He kissed her shoulder. "I would have thought that would be painfully obvious, mon colibri," he replied. "When I first met you, you were running. Perhaps from your friends, but there were memories, too. And you ran to me unintentionally. You stayed willingly... despite the fact that many here believe me to be a monster---"
"Jean-Claude... Anita... they don't---"
"And no one here thinks you are a monster," he interrupted. "I do not. They do not. You saved their lives... and they saved yours."
Willow sniffled. The items' orbit slowed in speed. She cleared her throat and spoke quietly, "I could feel... everything. I didn't want to. They reminded me of how everything's connected. Richard raced through the trees and everything felt so alive. I owed him already because of the whole unconscious thing, and he offered to help me. And Anita..."
"Oui?" he prompted when she trailed off.
"I wanted to hate her," Willow mumbled. "I saw her with you and I wanted to hate her. It's ridiculous, because I knew what I was getting into when I decided to stick around. But, I just wanted to not like her. And first, she takes me to the cops and kinda sticks up for me, and then she... she kept me from going over the edge."
"You do not think I have wanted to hate the leopards she shares her nightly bed with?" Asher asked in a quiet voice. "When I arrived in St. Louis, I wanted to kill her to hurt Jean-Claude. When I stayed, I hated seeing them together." He kissed her shoulder. "I should have been more careful with your feelings... I will be, from now on."
Willow chuckled and then said, "That's not really the point here, Asher."
"Then, what is?"
"I could have turned back into... black hair, black eyes, and veiny Willow," she told him.
Asher took one of her hands in his and extended her arm out. He inspected it and then kissed her knuckles before saying, "It appears that you do not have any extra veins."
"Well... yeah. They got to me before it got that far," she pointed out.
"We cannot simply be thankful that they did?"
Willow shook her head. "The feeling... having it all course through me like that... god, the power," she said quietly. "I thought I had a better handle on it, Asher."
"You will work on it," he assured her. "You are determined... you are of strong mind and body. I will loan you what strength I can, and perhaps we should keep your familiars close to help you control your magical powers."
She nodded. Asher felt the tension start to leave her body and he hugged her more tightly as she leaned into him. He thought about what she said, about how she felt in the heat of the moment, and her choice of words bothered him. He recalled how Anita's personality took on some of Jean-Claude's characteristics and he wondered if her thirst for death and destruction came from him.
"Mon colibri," he said quietly, "I do fear that it is more difficult for you to resist your more negative urges because of my own thirst for blood."
She sighed. "You think?"
"I apologise," he whispered, "especially if that is the case."
"I'm so tired of controlling it, sometimes, Asher. I don't think it's your fault."
He kissed her neck. "We will help you."
"Promise?"
"I will never break my promises to you, mon colibri," he whispered, as the orbiting objects slowly went back to their original places to rest.
TBC...
AUTHOR: 38gnihsurc
RATING: en.sea.xvii overall
PAIRING: Willow/Asher
SPOILERS: Up until Micah for AB; the two shows for Buffyverse stuff.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone. I'm just having a little fun.
NOTES: This story is AU, since it's a crossover; because of that, I've taken a few creative liberties with explaining why the BtVS vampires are different than the AB vampires, and so on.
Previous Chapters: 1-3, 4, 5, 6-7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23-4, 25, 26-7, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32-3, 34, 35-6, 37-8, 39, 40-1, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49-50, 51-2, 53, 54
PART FIFTY-FIVE
Willow refused to see anyone.
Asher had woken up, fed, and prepared for the day with Jean-Claude; when he stepped into the hallway, he saw the others and heard the story. So much of it came from Richard and it amazed the blond vampire that the Ulfric had spent any time at all with his human servant. Angel and Spike filled in the rest of the story, since Spike had seen it firsthand and since Angel had heard the rest from his slayer friend. Gunn and Connor supported it with anecdotes of their own, from the time they saw the witch use magic. He listened to the story and felt worry creeping into his mind.
Even Anita looked shaken, although she was riding some sort of metaphysical high from the event.
When he approached the black haired woman, she was curled in Jean-Claude's arms, close to Micah who was resting in his human form. He kneeled down in front of her seated form and put his hands on her knees.
She smiled. "It was incredible," Anita whispered. "I never felt anything like it."
"Why isn't she... why is she alone?"
Anita explained how she had broken off from the group once they arrived at the Circus of the Damned. She told him that she ran down the stairs faster than anyone else and she had disappeared into their suite before anyone could stop her. The door had been locked and when Angel tried to knock on it, she yelled and begged to be left alone.
He kissed Anita's forehead and whispered that he was glad she was alright. He even went to Richard and thanked him for helping Willow, innuendo and snide remarks excluded. The werewolf king pulled him aside and told him the bits of conversation that he had left out of the story; the truth shocked Asher but at the same time, it didn't, since he knew that Willow had been running from something for a long time.
Then, he left Richard's side and walked down the hall, towards the suite he shared with Willow.
He knocked on the door but heard no response. He tried the door knob but found it wouldn't turn. With a sigh he hadn't needed to make, he put his hands on the door and gave it one solid push. The door gave under the force he had exerted upon it, and he stepped inside.
Asher didn't find Willow until he went to the bedroom. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed and objects from the room---trinkets, small paintings in their frames, hair brushes, make up, discarded clothing, etc.---were flying in a circular path around her head.
"Mon colibri---"
"You shouldn't be here," Willow whispered.
"You are mine to worry about," he reminded her, "mine to love... and I choose to do both at this moment."
She sniffled. "Go away, Asher," she whispered. "Please, just... just let me---"
"Sit on our bed and mope?" he inquired. He stepped towards her, narrowly dodged the circle of floating objects, and kneeled in front of her. "This is, I'm guessing, some sort of witch moping?"
"N-no," she replied. "This is me, trying to get a grip on my control."
Asher moved carefully. He climbed onto the bed, crawled behind her, and enveloped her in his arms. He drew her between his legs so her back could be pressed against his chest and then he rested his chin on her shoulder.
"They told me what happened, mon colibri," he whispered. "Richard told me what happened, too. I know."
"Do you know th-that I could have k-killed those girls?" she mumbled shakily.
"Yes."
Willow sniffled again and her head bowed forward. He was instantly reminded of how he first found her, shaking and alone, and he wanted to help her again but he wasn't sure how to help her.
"I know you didn't, though," he whispered before nuzzling the back of her neck. "You allowed them to assist you. They reminded you of the things the power wanted you to forget and you came back."
"I didn't want to," Willow admitted. "I wanted to... to let it burn me up. I felt it after I created the storm... and when that girl threw her magic at me, the magic in me wanted to eat her for breakfast." Her voice wavered as she spoke again, "It felt like it did when Tara died, except there wasn't any grief. I wanted her to hurt her, Asher. I wanted to hurt her and her friends in ways unimaginable."
Asher wanted to tell her that he could imagine many of those ways, or that he had probably used some of those ways to hurt others, but he remained silent. He could feel that she wanted to say more.
"I remembered how it felt to rip Warren's skin from his body. I could smell it. And... and I knew I could do it again to those girls without even thinking twice about it. Without twitching my baby finger, Asher," she whispered. "It wanted out... it wanted control, like it's a whole other being. I wanted to do those horrible things all over again..." she trailed off and sobbed for a few minutes.
Asher did nothing but hold her, waiting for her to speak again.
"How can you sit here and hold me?" she asked. The items floating began to spin faster around them and Asher wondered, as she spoke again, if the speed and shape of their orbit was directly proportional to her emotional state. "I'm not a good person. I'm not. I... I could have---"
"You did not," he interrupted. "And I will hold you as long as you allow me to."
"Why?"
He kissed her shoulder. "I would have thought that would be painfully obvious, mon colibri," he replied. "When I first met you, you were running. Perhaps from your friends, but there were memories, too. And you ran to me unintentionally. You stayed willingly... despite the fact that many here believe me to be a monster---"
"Jean-Claude... Anita... they don't---"
"And no one here thinks you are a monster," he interrupted. "I do not. They do not. You saved their lives... and they saved yours."
Willow sniffled. The items' orbit slowed in speed. She cleared her throat and spoke quietly, "I could feel... everything. I didn't want to. They reminded me of how everything's connected. Richard raced through the trees and everything felt so alive. I owed him already because of the whole unconscious thing, and he offered to help me. And Anita..."
"Oui?" he prompted when she trailed off.
"I wanted to hate her," Willow mumbled. "I saw her with you and I wanted to hate her. It's ridiculous, because I knew what I was getting into when I decided to stick around. But, I just wanted to not like her. And first, she takes me to the cops and kinda sticks up for me, and then she... she kept me from going over the edge."
"You do not think I have wanted to hate the leopards she shares her nightly bed with?" Asher asked in a quiet voice. "When I arrived in St. Louis, I wanted to kill her to hurt Jean-Claude. When I stayed, I hated seeing them together." He kissed her shoulder. "I should have been more careful with your feelings... I will be, from now on."
Willow chuckled and then said, "That's not really the point here, Asher."
"Then, what is?"
"I could have turned back into... black hair, black eyes, and veiny Willow," she told him.
Asher took one of her hands in his and extended her arm out. He inspected it and then kissed her knuckles before saying, "It appears that you do not have any extra veins."
"Well... yeah. They got to me before it got that far," she pointed out.
"We cannot simply be thankful that they did?"
Willow shook her head. "The feeling... having it all course through me like that... god, the power," she said quietly. "I thought I had a better handle on it, Asher."
"You will work on it," he assured her. "You are determined... you are of strong mind and body. I will loan you what strength I can, and perhaps we should keep your familiars close to help you control your magical powers."
She nodded. Asher felt the tension start to leave her body and he hugged her more tightly as she leaned into him. He thought about what she said, about how she felt in the heat of the moment, and her choice of words bothered him. He recalled how Anita's personality took on some of Jean-Claude's characteristics and he wondered if her thirst for death and destruction came from him.
"Mon colibri," he said quietly, "I do fear that it is more difficult for you to resist your more negative urges because of my own thirst for blood."
She sighed. "You think?"
"I apologise," he whispered, "especially if that is the case."
"I'm so tired of controlling it, sometimes, Asher. I don't think it's your fault."
He kissed her neck. "We will help you."
"Promise?"
"I will never break my promises to you, mon colibri," he whispered, as the orbiting objects slowly went back to their original places to rest.
TBC...