[April 3] [Hellsing] Past Fearing
Title: Past Fearing
Day/Theme: 3) a place beyond fear
Series: Hellsing
Character/Pairing: Seras
Rating: PG
"I found there is a place beyond fear. When the body and the mind just can't sustain it any more. The world, time . . . reorder themselves." -The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold
Humans were designed to live in fear, but not for long. It ate them up, even as it kept them going. Seras could remember that, the constant anxiety of being human. Fear of danger, fear of pain, fear of unwelcome advances, of confrontations, or failure, or just looking silly, they all shaped almost every decision that Seras had made. Every action had been born from fear.
Some said that anger was the driving force behind most human actions, but that anger had to come from somewhere, and Seras was pretty sure that people got that angry just because they had had too much of being scared. When it finally got to be too much, they just snapped and lashed out. It had happened to her.
She had been terrified when the ghouls of the other Hellsing soldiers had overtaken her. She couldn’t believe it was happening again. She had been sure that nothing this awful could ever happen twice. Then, they pulled her down and their dead, clawing hands tore at her. She had been whimpering and screaming and then it had all popped like a blister. The fear had drained and left behind something else. The helpless noises she had been making gurgled down into a growl.
She had exploded, striking out at the ghouls with mindless fury. There wasn’t enough left of them to be afraid of her in turn, but the idea sent savage glee into her eyes and smile. Blood sprayed all around her, dripping from her fingers like marionette strings to their dead, broken puppet bodies. It took the sound of her name, shouted in horror, to snap her out of it. She turned to see them looking at her as if she was the monster, and the grim satisfaction that came from that shocked her back to a semblance of her usual meekness. A semblance was all there was left.
Day/Theme: 3) a place beyond fear
Series: Hellsing
Character/Pairing: Seras
Rating: PG
"I found there is a place beyond fear. When the body and the mind just can't sustain it any more. The world, time . . . reorder themselves." -The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold
Humans were designed to live in fear, but not for long. It ate them up, even as it kept them going. Seras could remember that, the constant anxiety of being human. Fear of danger, fear of pain, fear of unwelcome advances, of confrontations, or failure, or just looking silly, they all shaped almost every decision that Seras had made. Every action had been born from fear.
Some said that anger was the driving force behind most human actions, but that anger had to come from somewhere, and Seras was pretty sure that people got that angry just because they had had too much of being scared. When it finally got to be too much, they just snapped and lashed out. It had happened to her.
She had been terrified when the ghouls of the other Hellsing soldiers had overtaken her. She couldn’t believe it was happening again. She had been sure that nothing this awful could ever happen twice. Then, they pulled her down and their dead, clawing hands tore at her. She had been whimpering and screaming and then it had all popped like a blister. The fear had drained and left behind something else. The helpless noises she had been making gurgled down into a growl.
She had exploded, striking out at the ghouls with mindless fury. There wasn’t enough left of them to be afraid of her in turn, but the idea sent savage glee into her eyes and smile. Blood sprayed all around her, dripping from her fingers like marionette strings to their dead, broken puppet bodies. It took the sound of her name, shouted in horror, to snap her out of it. She turned to see them looking at her as if she was the monster, and the grim satisfaction that came from that shocked her back to a semblance of her usual meekness. A semblance was all there was left.