ST TOS Fanfiction--- "A Word of Memory"
Thought I'd get posting these. This was the first Fanfic I ever "put out there" in the big scary Internet World. I'm still here, so obviously it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or the characters. If I did Spock would not have kissed Uhura in the new movie. Period.
Author's Note: This is my first fanfic so please be nice. That being said, I would love your honest opinion.
Summery: Kirk is captured and has lost his memory. Spock and McCoy go after him on their own. Friendship fic-Not intended as Slash.
A WORD OF MEMORY
It is a strange feeling to open your eyes and not realize where you are, but it is even more terrifying when you do not know if you are where you should be…
"Your name?" a gruff voice said just as the man became aware of his surroundings. He squinted against the bright light overhead. He tried to sit up only to realize that he was strapped to whatever surface he was on.
"Your name?" the voice repeated impatiently.
"I… I don't…. I don't know…" the man groaned breathlessly. He closed his eyes trying desperately to remember. Panic overwhelmed him for a moment as he realized that he not only didn't know his name… he didn't know anything.
"Where are you from?" the voice asked coldly.
"I don't know," the man croaked trying to keep the panic from entering his voice.
"What is the last thing you remember?"
The man took a deep breath and tried to think. He remembered coldness, and darkness, and pain… but there was no substance to his memories. He tried desperately to recall something, anything. He remembered feelings. Fear, panic, frustration, anger…there was something he needed to do, somewhere he needed to be… but he simply did not know what it was.
"Guard," the voice said flatly, "take this one to Level 2."
"Wait!" the man shouted, "What is this place?"
The voice sighed in an annoyed way before saying simply, "The worst place in the Galaxy."
First Officer Spock sat in the Captain's chair with his hands folded in front of him. Everyone on the bridge held their breath as he took in what the Admiral on the viewscreen just said.
"Am I to understand," Spock said with an even tone, "that Captain Kirk was abducted during a Federation Conference in the midst of several thousand delegates?"
The man sighed, "Look I don't understand it either. One minute he was walking off the platform after his speech, the next he was just… beamed away by Lord knows what. It wasn't like any transporter I have ever seen. He was simply there one minute, gone the next. I can send you the surveillance footage if you wish."
"That would be appreciated. May I ask what measures have been taken to track the Captain?"
"We have analyzed the signature readings around the area where Kirk disappeared. We found nothing. We have watched and rewatched the footage, again nothing. Our top analysts can not find anything to explain the disappearance… and we have no idea where to begin looking for your Captain."
"The Enterprise will be in orbit above Kornela in 3.6 hours, at that time any additional data you can supply us with will be appreciated."
"You intend to search for your Captain then?" the Admiral asked trying to keep the frustration from his voice.
"Affirmative, that is the duty of this crew."
"Your duty is to Starfleet Command," the Admiral said flatly, "And they may have something else in mind for the Enterprise. This is a dangerous area of space and we have just learned that the Klingons have been rumored to be near this very sector… you may find yourself occupied with other things."
Spock's face betrayed nothing as he said simply, "We will see, Admiral. Thank you for the information. Spock Out."
Every person on the bridge let out a small breath and waited.
"Mr. Scott," Spock said simply, "Can we increase to Warp 6?"
Scotty nodded resolutely, "Aye, after some poking and prodding with ma' Engines I should be able to gi' ya Warp 7 in a little less than 20 minutes."
"Then do so, Mr. Scott," Spock ordered although Scotty was already well on his way to Engineering before he said it.
Spock turned and gave the necessary orders to get the Enterprise on her way to Kornela. His orders were routine, mechanical, completely devoid of feeling. His face was stone as he placed Sulu in command. He then walked stiffly into the turbolift.
The moment the doors shut his Vulcan mask fell for a moment. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He would have to steel himself for what was to come. Though his small human half was screaming at him that there was always hope, the Vulcan half calculated the odds and computed the data… they added up to one thing: Kirk was gone and there was little hope of finding him this time.
The man grunted as he lifted the heavy stone that had just been quarried onto the waiting platform. He wiped the sweat from his eyes and turned to the next stone at his feet. The heat from the mining laser was intense. He glanced up at the guard who sneered down at the workers stooping to work. The purpose of the stones he did not know. Yet they were obviously valuable somehow. He glanced down quickly as the guard shifted his gaze towards him. To pause too long brought punishment, this he had learned.
He had learned many things in the weeks he had been there. He learned that whatever it was he had done before had not involved physical labor of this kind. His body ached and screamed with exertion. He could only hope that in time the fatigue would ease.
There was a sudden flash of pain as the guard struck him across the back, "Hurry Up!" the guard snarled.
This was something he had learned too… the guard's struck without warning and often without real provocation. A part of him... the part that could remember feelings and ideals… said that this was wrong. And yet he knew no other way of life. Although he did feel that he should know something else… a better way…
"Blast it Spock, what do you mean the ship has been diverted!"
"Starfleets orders are to patrol the 36B4 Nebula as it is large enough to hide Klingon ships from the planetary sensors of Mortenga."
"So, while Jim is goodness-knows-where we have to play guard dog to a planet halfway across the galaxy from where Jim was last seen?"
Spock decided not to mention that they were really going to be diverted 478.98 Lightyears from the last known location of Captain Kirk. Hardly halfway across the Galaxy… although he did understand the sentiment Dr. McCoy was expressing in his own emotional way.
"I have my orders, Doctor."
With that McCoy let loose with a whirlwind of highly emotional phrases. Some were anatomically impossible for Starfleet members to do. Spock waited until the tirade was over before saying simply, "The task of guarding the 36B4 Nebula is not a difficult one and therefore can be left in the capable command of Mr. Sulu."
"What?" Bones said with a puzzled frown.
"I intend to continue the search for Captain Kirk myself."
"You don't seriously think Starfleet is gonna let you do that do you? You are Acting Captain now. They won't let you just leave the ship."
"Whether or not Starfleet approves, I intend to continue the search. If they order me to return to the Enterprise I shall simply resign my commission."
McCoy's mouth dropped open. Had it been anyone else he would have assumed they were either joking or their judgment was emotionally compromised. But with Spock it could be neither. The face before him was grim but determined.
After a long moments pause he finally said, "So why tell me?"
"I require some medical supplies as a precautionary measure."
"My blasted big toe… I'm going with you."
Spock opened his mouth with his ready protest. He had, of course, anticipated this highly impulsive act on the part of the Doctor. He did not wish to involve anyone else in this highly rebellious act. Before his well thought out response could be spoken, though, he was interrupted with another long string of curses by the Doctor who ended simply with, "So no arguing I'm coming with you because one of us has to be the sane one!"
The man flopped weakly onto the hard mat that was his bed every night. He would get exactly 5 hrs to rest. Regardless of whether he slept or not, he would be roughly dragged up the minute 5 hrs ticked by. Then he would return to Level 2 to work. Level 2… another worker had told him that it was the "training level" for the new "recruits."
"If ye're too slow," the man said, "they will kill you. If ye work hard, ye'll be given harder work than this."
"How is it you have been here so long without moving on to other levels?" he asked simply.
"I knows ways of bribing guards. Don't ye try it though. Else I'll kill ye myself. Only one of us can be the favorite 'round here."
The man had thought that and odd thing to say. For the "favorite" was not treated particularly well either.
He shifted uncomfortably on his mat. Every inch of him hurt, not only from the physical exertion, but from the cuts and bruises he had been gifted with by the ever changing guards. He closed his eyes hoping to catch some sleep. He had long since learned that to stay awake fitfully trying to get comfortable only resulted in a slap from the guard and an even longer work period.
As he slowly tried to relax he thought back to the ever nagging questions: Who am I? Where am I from? Is this all that I am? Am I supposed to be more? He slowly drifted through those questions until it came… it was the only thing that he could clearly see and remember. A face. A kind face though it did not smile. He did not know to whom the face belonged or even how he should know it. All he knew was that he did know that face… and then there was a word. It echoed and bounced through his scattered thoughts though he did not understand the meaning of it. The longer his mind focused on the memory of the face the more strength he felt. A calming feeling overcame him and oddly his wounds seemed to lessen in intensity. It was always like this when he saw the face. Then at last he would fall into a deep sleep…
"This is suicide," Bones griped angrily.
"You were not obligated to come, doctor," Spock said in his I-am-Vulcan-therefore-I-am-not-annoyed voice, "in fact you insisted that you accompany me. I had not intended on having you as a traveling companion."
"I know, I know," Bones said angrily, "But just how in this whole galaxy are we supposed to locate Jim in this half run-down shuttle pod?"
"This shuttle-pod was carefully fixed by Mr. Scott. It should handle a long journey in space. There are enough food rations to feed each of us for precisely 2.5 years if we ration cautiously. The fuel will not need to be supplied for at least 8.9 months. The-"
"I get it Spock. We are prepared for a bit of a jaunt in space. If we can keep from killing each other before then, but my question remains: how are we gonna find Jim? All of Starfleet couldn't come up with a single answer."
"The Captain was obviously taken in such a way that tracing him is impossible… therefore I have logically concluded that I must… 'follow my gut.'"
Bones nearly choked, "You're what? You green-blooded computer, you don't have a gut to follow-"
Bones was about to continue on a long lecture about the overall heritage of Vulcan when he saw the look in Spock's eyes… it was something he had only seen on rare occasions when Jim's life hung in the balance.
"Oh…." He said softly, "Sorry…. I… uh…. Forget it."
Spock gave him a grateful look then turned back to the control and adjusted the heading for a far uncharted region of space.
"The Sarice Asteroid Field?" Bones asked rhetorically.
Spock naturally said nothing, merely increased the speed of the vessel then closed his eyes in deep meditation. Bones shook his head. He hated all of that Vulcan mind-mumbo-jumbo… but he couldn't deny what he had both seen and felt before. Spock had a way of knowing things.
His memories took him back to that time when Spock had nearly collapsed on the bridge. He then had said simply that a Vulcan ship had been destroyed. "Call it a deep understanding of the way things are."
He had proved correct.
Then there was the time in Tholian Space where everyone though Kirk was dead and by all rights was. Yet Spock refused to leave, doggedly insisting that Kirk was still alive… he was correct.
It wasn't just Spock either…
Jim had a way of knowing things too. When the Shuttlecraft Galileo had crashed somehow Kirk knew to keep looking… knew they were alive.
It was something Bones had never mentioned or pushed, but he knew that the two were somehow… connected. Mind melded? Joined? Bonded? Who knew? He really didn't want to know. All he knew was that if Spock said Jim was alive, and could be rescued… then he would willingly follow Spock to the edge of the Galaxy if need be.
The man screamed in agony as the guard struck him for the 5th time on his back, "I said UP you worm!"
"Is that what I am?" he whispered, "a worm?" It seemed like a pathetic word. Not like the other word that would float through his mind when he slept.
"UP!" the guard kicked him.
He groaned and tried desperately to stagger to his feet. He had long since lost track of time on Level 2. He did not know how long he had been there, but today they had moved him to Level 6. Level 6 was much worse. Instead of stones they were forced to literally swim through the drudge of some sort of natural occurring chemical. It smelled like sulfur, and that is what was bothering him most. That smell had a memory to it. Heat, red, sand. Feelings were connected with the memory… worry, concern, friendship… duty. And for some reason he had seen the face again. Although the memory of the face was dark and frightening. The face was in danger and… angry? He did not understand the thought at all and had paused to try to remember more before his thoughts were shattered by the guard's fists.
He crawled up and being to swim through the murky chemicals again. It burned his skin and caused his open wounds to feel as though they were on fire… fire… heat… blood? The memory returned but he forced it back. He was getting nowhere with it anyway and if he kept slowing down this murky substance would be his grave.
Another slap from the guard got him moving quicker as he reached bellow the drudge to pull up the long fibers that grew beneath the nasty surface. Whatever they were, they were long and slippery. The one he pulled up wriggled and he lost his grip on it.
Without warning the guard grabbed his head and plunged it into the murk. He held his breath for a long time. His lungs were bursting and his head was spinning. Redness, sparks, pain, darkness… and then the face. Suddenly a calm came over him.
So this is how I am to die? he thought, Remembering a face that seems so kind and yet I do not know whose face it is? Blackness was closing around him when suddenly there was a flash. A burning sensation and then… he was being lifted. Strong arms were pulling him from the drudge. A voice was calling loudly, "Jim? Jim can you hear me? Spock let that guy go and come help me!" Then there was blackness.
When the man awoke his first thought was that his mat was unusually soft. He opened his eyes to brilliant white. He shut them hard and gasped.
"Easy now, Jim," a voice said, "Just relax."
He opened his eyes once more and saw a smiling face with blue eyes.
"What did you call me?"
The smile dropped a moment as the face frowned, "Do you know who I am?"
"No…" the man sighed, "But I don't know who I am either so it doesn't matter."
The face took on a worried expression.
He turned his head to look at the other figure in the white room… and struggled to keep from crying aloud… there before him was the face! The same pointed ears, and the same kind face that didn't smile. He struggled to sit up but was pushed down. Panic seized him. If he saw the face then… then… the white room, the bright lights, "I'm dead!" he shouted then fainted.
"BLAST IT!" Bones cursed angrily and rushed for a hypospray.
"What is wrong doctor?" Spock said carefully keeping the sudden panic he felt from showing itself in his voice.
"Amnesia is my guess," Bones said angrily, "I knew it was too good to be true… that bump on the head… plus there is some darn chemical in his body that I can't identify… we've got to get him back to the Enterpise and soon."
Spock nodded then said, "The autopilot is taking us there at its fastest speed. I have already sent a message alerting the Enterprise of our arrival."
"Let's just hope it's enough," Bones whispered.
The man awoke again, the usual ugly feeling of not knowing where he was filled him. He was in yet another setting. Not as bright and white as before. He sat up slowly feeling a wonderful sensation of cleanliness and refreshment. He glanced about but saw no one. So I must not be dead, he thought, If I were, my body wouldn't hurt so much. He looked about the room and saw neatly arranged instruments next to several beds that looked reasonably comfortable. Yet nothing seemed familiar. Those men he had seen before acted as though they knew who he was, and what is more, they acted as if they… cared for him. It felt good.
Perhaps if I wander about something will seem familiar to me, he thought.
He stood up then realized that he was not dressed properly. He looked around until he saw a neatly stacked pair of clothes. There was a shirt of yellow and black pants. Holding them up to him they looked as though they would fit. He wondered if perhaps they were intended for him to wear. If not, he hoped the owner of the clothes would not mind him borrowing them.
He carefully dressed and considered what to do. He had had much more sleep than he was accustomed too. He felt full of energy despite the pain in his muscles. Besides, he had learned to deal with the pain long ago.
I'll just walk a little bit, I'm still tired. But I can't stand being alone.
That was the only fact about himself that he was certain about. It was one of the many feelings he could remember… feelings without a memory to provide meaning.
He slowly walked out of the doors in front of him to find himself in some sort of hallway. The ground beneath his feet hummed. I am in a factory of some kind, but it does not seem as bad here as Level 2 or Level 6. He wandered to his left hoping for a viewport or window that would give him a clue where he was at.
Several people walked past him. They were very friendly. Some would nod or smile at him. He smiled back, but none of their faces seemed familiar. The only face that he remembered was the one with the pointed ears… and even then he didn't know who it was. He was hoping that man would walk past him. He felt as though if he could only talk with him… tell him what he did feel and know… that maybe something would come back. However, the pointed eared man did not appear. Frustration threatened to overwhelm him for a moment, but he continued on hoping for something to help him out.
All the while he was observing the area about him. He would see the occasional worker, yet no one seemed abused or threatening. The work was not mining of any kind, but rather some sort of electrical work it seemed. Wherever he was… it felt like a good place to be.
Just as he was about to turn around and make his way back to where he had awoken, a young man with dark hair came walking past.
"Hello Captin," he said in a thick Russian accent.
The man stopped.
"What did you say?" He asked with a frown.
"I just said hello," the young man replied puzzled, "I'm glad to see you are alright, sir."
The man forced himself to smile and the young man relaxed then walked off with a brief salute.
"Captain?" the man whispered. He began to panic, "I'm a Captain? Of what?"
He turned and ran.
He sprinted down the halls past all the smiling people. If he was a Captain he certainly didn't want those under him to know that… that he had no idea who they were or what he was supposed to do.
He rounded a bend and stopped abruptly. There was a viewport just as he wanted. His eyes were greeted with a magnificent view of the stars. They sped past the window at an incredible speed making them blur. He swayed for a moment overwhelmed by the sight before him. He felt sick.
Stars… he had a strong emotional feeling about them. He didn't know why… but an idea was forming itself in his mind. To his left he spotted a computer terminal. Strangely, he did know how to operate one yet he did not remember ever having done so.
"Computer," he said quickly, "What is this vessel?"
"This vessel is the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC 1701 Commissioned by Starfleet Command Star Date."
"Stop," he said panting, "show picture and blueprints of USS Enterprise.
Before him the screen flashed a magnificent picture of a huge vessel. The blueprints that followed showed endless decks, and an impressive firepower. I'm on a ship.
"Who is the Captain of the USS Enterprise?" he whispered feeling his heart race.
"Captain James T. Kirk took over command of USS Enterprise Stardate-"
"Stop, show picture of James T. Kirk." He said quickly and then held his breath.
The face that appeared was a smiling one. The eyes spoke of great knowledge, but almost a boyish eagerness. The man glanced at his own reflection in the window that had the same face and same clothes… but the eyes were empty and very much afraid.
He tore himself away from the picture and the strange reflection. He took off running again.
He ran not knowing where to go. His mind was a throbbing, racing blur of emotions and images. He ran until he stopped speeding past people who gave him puzzled looks. Then he darted into a dark room. He prayed no one would be inside to question him. He was relieved to find only bins of some kind. He got onto his hand and knees and crawled behind one of the bins.
Captain… Captain of a ship… why can't I remember? He drew his knees to his chest and started to sob.
A beam of light illuminated his dark hiding place for a moment as someone stepped inside the storage room. A figure came around the bin and stood above him. He wiped his eyes and glanced up… it was the one with the pointed ears.
"Computer lighting 20%" the man's voice said loudly. The lights around them illuminated slightly, like an evening twilight. He then said firmly yet softly, "You should have remained in Sick Bay where you can be cared for."
"I'm Captain?" the man's voice was frightened and mournful.
The face took a deep breath. He then moved carefully to sit just in front of him.
"Yes," the man answered, "You are the Captain."
"How can I be Captain to a crew that I don't remember?" he whispered.
The man's face was stone and yet his eyes seemed to burst with empathy, "Your condition will pass. You must rest and get well, and then your memory will come to you."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because," the voice said so warmly that it contrasted strangely with the set countenance before him, "You are Jim Kirk, and Jim Kirk is the man who always beats the odds."
For some reason the warmth of this man's eyes and words seemed to give him strength. It was as it always had been when he saw the face… he straightened a little and then said more firmly, "You know… I do remember one thing…"
The man across from him lifted one eyebrow slightly and cocked his head to the side.
He paused a moment then said bluntly, "I remember you."
The eyebrow went to his hairline. It was somewhat comical.
"Whenever I was hurt, or exhausted, and wanted to give up" he continued, "which was most the time on Level 2 and worse on Level 6… just as I closed my eyes to drift to sleep I would see your face. And for some reason whenever I saw it I felt a sensation of strength not my own…. I don't know who and what I really am. But for some reason when I look at you… I can feel it. I see your face and… I know I am home. I hear your voice and I know that I can trust you, and that I am safe. I don't know your name, but I want to call you… well it is a word I am not sure what it means. It is a word which often comes into my head when I am in pain… it is a special word. All I know is it means… you."
"What word?" The man whispered and his voice seemed somewhat hoarse.
"T'hy'la"
The man's face was no longer rigid. His lip quivered visibly for a moment before he regained his composure.
"I am your t'hy'la." He said somewhat shakily, "When your memory returns you will know what that means. For now, you say you trust me. Then please come with me back to sick bay. You must stay there until you have recovered."
The man nodded and stood up. The other man stood too and took his arm in his hand, "You will be alright, Jim" he whispered.
"That's my name?" the man asked, "Jim?"
The man nodded.
"What is yours?"
"You will remember in time," the man said simply, "Come Jim."
Jim walked out of the storage room then said awkwardly, "Uh… could you lead the way?"
The man nodded and walked slightly in front of him, yet still at his side. As the two made their way through the long hallways of the ship Jim couldn't help but smile for the first time in a very long while. Somehow having this man at his side felt… right.
When he entered the room… "Sick Bay" as it kept being called, he was met with the angry face of the blue-eyed man whom he had awoken to before.
"Typical Jim Kirk to wander out of the room! I swear I can't turn my back on you for two seconds! Thanks Spock," he said glancing sideways.
"I shall stay here since you are incapable of caring for your patient alone."
"Why you green blooded…"
"Spock…" Jim whispered to himself. The two men stopped their heated argument for a moment and stared in surprise at Jim.
"My name is Jim and you are Spock," he whispered, "And… you are… are… my T'hylia… which means friend only… more than a friend… like a brother and… and…"
He grunted as his head began to hurt horribly. There was a sharp pain as he tried desperately to put the right words to the sudden burst of emotions that he was feeling. It was as if somewhere in his mind a door was opening and yet it was being shut at the same time. There was pain and darkness… and he couldn't breath. The blue-eyed man was now whisking him over to a bed and shouting out orders to someone else. But Jim didn't hear him because all he knew was that the pain was hurting him and darkness was closing around the redness before his eyes…
"I knew it!" Dr. McCoy shouted angrily. He frantically began injecting Jim with every kind of stabilizer known to science. Spock anxiously watched as the readings on the bio-bed at last reached a steady level. Though they were not excellent readings, at least he was stable.
"Why did you leave him alone?" Spock asked accusingly when he saw the Doctor relax.
"Because my green-blooded hob-goblin," he growled without taking his eyes off of the monitor above him, "the computer registered that it had recognized the chemical in Jim's blood. I went to check it for a grand total of 5 seconds and he was gone!"
Spock said nothing merely looked intently at the now pale face of his Captain.
"Is the chemical the cause of the Captain's loss in memory?"
"Absolutely. I swear that the Orion Minors deliberately injected it into his bloodstream for that reason. If he didn't know who he was he would be easier to manipulate. Although why they used a Starfleet Captain to man one of their death mines I will never know."
"That is a problem for Starfleet command," Spock said simply, "Have you got an effective counteragent to the chemical?"
"Yes, but it is gonna take a while to process and-"
Just then the readings spiked then dropped with a rapidity that McCoy had never seen. The monitors wailed all around him as he dove into action.
My name is Jim.
The idea floated about in the man's head. He saw a door. Behind it he knew there was all the information he so desperately needed. All the memories… yet when he tried to open it he was suddenly dashed into a world of pain and torment. Darkness and emptiness began to fill his thoughts…
Then there was a sensation of something else. The face was there again. And the word… "T'hy'la"
Yet he had not spoken it,
"T'hy'la!" the voice in his head said again, "I am here."
And there he was. Spock. T'hy'la. Someone who belonged. Someone who had been there before. Familiarity swept over his mind like a warm breeze.
"Spock," his mind answered back, "Can you help me?"
"Yes," the voice said, "But it is dangerous now. You're mind is damaged by physical injuries and a chemical which prevents me from accessing you're memories just as it prevents you from accessing them. But you must fight the urge to give in. The Doctor is working to heal you but at the moment your body has gone into shock and he is concerned you will fall into a coma. He is operating to help you. You must hold on."
Just then a dark void opened up in the back of his mind. He felt himself falling into it.
"STOP!" Spock commanded, "You must stay HERE with ME."
"I want to, but I am tired."
"Then reach for me."
He tried. His whole mind reached out for the face that was so warm, so loving, so gentle, so…. He touched the face and instantly the black void recoiled from behind him and he was warm and safe. Stay here for a while, the voice said gently, and when it is time we shall access that part of your mind blocked.
Spock… Jim… T'hy'la … Friend… Brother….
The words danced about in his mind and yet he did not know which mind had spoken them. How long the two minds were entwined he would never know. It seemed like they shared an eternity together. And then suddenly there was a light, a burst of lightening in the darkness. "It is time," the voice said exhaustedly.
"Wait!" his mind shouted, "have I been feeding off of your energy?"
"Yes t'hy'la, it is my duty and my right to give it to you. Now you must access your memory now."
"But."
"DO IT!"
He saw in his mind the same door he had seen earlier. It looked as though it had been charred and damaged, yet it was not blocked. He reached forward and opened it. A cascade overtook him. It was a crashing of a wave. Heat and cold, darkness and light, sound and silence all mingled in a huge tumble of memories. He turned for a moment, but found that his touch with the other mind was gone.
Jim awoke slowly. He blinked several times before clarity hit him.
"Spock!" he shouted and sat up making the room reel.
"Hold on there Jim Boy! Lay back down or so help me I'll sedate you!"
"Bones is Spock Ok?" he asked desperately.
Dr. McCoy got a relieved look on his face, "You remember me?"
"Yes, Yes. I remember it all. Ask me my serial number, the name of my dog, anything but FIRST where is Spock is he alright?"
"I am perfectly alright Captain," the familiar and welcome voice said.
He turned to see his friend lying in the bed next to him. Spock sat up easily and said, "I trust you have fully recovered."
"Yes thanks to you," Jim said warmly.
Spock looked down for a moment just as Bones cut in, "You are just lucky you know who you are after a crazy stunt like that. Don't you ever jump into a meld with Jim while I am operating on him again, do you hear? Half the time I didn't know if I was getting your brain wave readings or Jim's. It's bad enough having one stubborn patient messing with my bio-monitors. Let alone two!"
"What happened?" Jim asked rubbing his head.
The two exchanged glances then summed up the event of the past 2 months,
Jim shook his head, "It's only been 2 months?"
The two nodded solemnly.
2 months… and it wasn't over yet. There was still Starfleet to deal with. They were not too happy about the Acting Captain and CMO taking off on a wild goose chase. They were even more unhappy to discover that they were in a far off part of space that was practically uncharted and rumored to be occupied by Orion Miners. Then they were delighted (though very much surprised) to hear that the two rebels had returned with their Captain. Only to be told he had lost his memory. Needless to say there would be another 2 months of red tape to work through before the three men in sickbay would ever get Starfleet off their backs.
None of this mattered at the moment though. The three shared a warm silent moment as they each considered how grateful they were for each other.
"Alright," Bones said, "I want you both to sleep. Got that? I'll sedate the two of you if I have to. No talking non-stop like you usually do."
He waved a threatening finger at them, but his face was twinkling with happiness. He lowered the lights and left the room for a moment.
"You should sleep, Jim." Spock said after a long silence when it was obvious that Jim was not even trying to sleep.
"So should you," he said softly, "I took a lot out of you, and I'm sorry."
"No need to apologize. As I said… it is my right… and privilege."
Jim closed his eyes then whispered, "Thanks for being with me all this time, Spock, even when I didn't know who you were."
Spock made no answer… he didn't need to.
Jim glanced over once more at the dark outline of his friend's face.
He closed his eyes again and slept the most restful sleep he could remember. Just before he dozed off he whispered the word which had kept him going all that time, the word that he now fully knew the meaning of.
"T'hy'la."
The word reached Spock's ever alert ears. In the darkness he smiled.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or the characters. If I did Spock would not have kissed Uhura in the new movie. Period.
Author's Note: This is my first fanfic so please be nice. That being said, I would love your honest opinion.
Summery: Kirk is captured and has lost his memory. Spock and McCoy go after him on their own. Friendship fic-Not intended as Slash.
A WORD OF MEMORY
It is a strange feeling to open your eyes and not realize where you are, but it is even more terrifying when you do not know if you are where you should be…
"Your name?" a gruff voice said just as the man became aware of his surroundings. He squinted against the bright light overhead. He tried to sit up only to realize that he was strapped to whatever surface he was on.
"Your name?" the voice repeated impatiently.
"I… I don't…. I don't know…" the man groaned breathlessly. He closed his eyes trying desperately to remember. Panic overwhelmed him for a moment as he realized that he not only didn't know his name… he didn't know anything.
"Where are you from?" the voice asked coldly.
"I don't know," the man croaked trying to keep the panic from entering his voice.
"What is the last thing you remember?"
The man took a deep breath and tried to think. He remembered coldness, and darkness, and pain… but there was no substance to his memories. He tried desperately to recall something, anything. He remembered feelings. Fear, panic, frustration, anger…there was something he needed to do, somewhere he needed to be… but he simply did not know what it was.
"Guard," the voice said flatly, "take this one to Level 2."
"Wait!" the man shouted, "What is this place?"
The voice sighed in an annoyed way before saying simply, "The worst place in the Galaxy."
First Officer Spock sat in the Captain's chair with his hands folded in front of him. Everyone on the bridge held their breath as he took in what the Admiral on the viewscreen just said.
"Am I to understand," Spock said with an even tone, "that Captain Kirk was abducted during a Federation Conference in the midst of several thousand delegates?"
The man sighed, "Look I don't understand it either. One minute he was walking off the platform after his speech, the next he was just… beamed away by Lord knows what. It wasn't like any transporter I have ever seen. He was simply there one minute, gone the next. I can send you the surveillance footage if you wish."
"That would be appreciated. May I ask what measures have been taken to track the Captain?"
"We have analyzed the signature readings around the area where Kirk disappeared. We found nothing. We have watched and rewatched the footage, again nothing. Our top analysts can not find anything to explain the disappearance… and we have no idea where to begin looking for your Captain."
"The Enterprise will be in orbit above Kornela in 3.6 hours, at that time any additional data you can supply us with will be appreciated."
"You intend to search for your Captain then?" the Admiral asked trying to keep the frustration from his voice.
"Affirmative, that is the duty of this crew."
"Your duty is to Starfleet Command," the Admiral said flatly, "And they may have something else in mind for the Enterprise. This is a dangerous area of space and we have just learned that the Klingons have been rumored to be near this very sector… you may find yourself occupied with other things."
Spock's face betrayed nothing as he said simply, "We will see, Admiral. Thank you for the information. Spock Out."
Every person on the bridge let out a small breath and waited.
"Mr. Scott," Spock said simply, "Can we increase to Warp 6?"
Scotty nodded resolutely, "Aye, after some poking and prodding with ma' Engines I should be able to gi' ya Warp 7 in a little less than 20 minutes."
"Then do so, Mr. Scott," Spock ordered although Scotty was already well on his way to Engineering before he said it.
Spock turned and gave the necessary orders to get the Enterprise on her way to Kornela. His orders were routine, mechanical, completely devoid of feeling. His face was stone as he placed Sulu in command. He then walked stiffly into the turbolift.
The moment the doors shut his Vulcan mask fell for a moment. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He would have to steel himself for what was to come. Though his small human half was screaming at him that there was always hope, the Vulcan half calculated the odds and computed the data… they added up to one thing: Kirk was gone and there was little hope of finding him this time.
The man grunted as he lifted the heavy stone that had just been quarried onto the waiting platform. He wiped the sweat from his eyes and turned to the next stone at his feet. The heat from the mining laser was intense. He glanced up at the guard who sneered down at the workers stooping to work. The purpose of the stones he did not know. Yet they were obviously valuable somehow. He glanced down quickly as the guard shifted his gaze towards him. To pause too long brought punishment, this he had learned.
He had learned many things in the weeks he had been there. He learned that whatever it was he had done before had not involved physical labor of this kind. His body ached and screamed with exertion. He could only hope that in time the fatigue would ease.
There was a sudden flash of pain as the guard struck him across the back, "Hurry Up!" the guard snarled.
This was something he had learned too… the guard's struck without warning and often without real provocation. A part of him... the part that could remember feelings and ideals… said that this was wrong. And yet he knew no other way of life. Although he did feel that he should know something else… a better way…
"Blast it Spock, what do you mean the ship has been diverted!"
"Starfleets orders are to patrol the 36B4 Nebula as it is large enough to hide Klingon ships from the planetary sensors of Mortenga."
"So, while Jim is goodness-knows-where we have to play guard dog to a planet halfway across the galaxy from where Jim was last seen?"
Spock decided not to mention that they were really going to be diverted 478.98 Lightyears from the last known location of Captain Kirk. Hardly halfway across the Galaxy… although he did understand the sentiment Dr. McCoy was expressing in his own emotional way.
"I have my orders, Doctor."
With that McCoy let loose with a whirlwind of highly emotional phrases. Some were anatomically impossible for Starfleet members to do. Spock waited until the tirade was over before saying simply, "The task of guarding the 36B4 Nebula is not a difficult one and therefore can be left in the capable command of Mr. Sulu."
"What?" Bones said with a puzzled frown.
"I intend to continue the search for Captain Kirk myself."
"You don't seriously think Starfleet is gonna let you do that do you? You are Acting Captain now. They won't let you just leave the ship."
"Whether or not Starfleet approves, I intend to continue the search. If they order me to return to the Enterprise I shall simply resign my commission."
McCoy's mouth dropped open. Had it been anyone else he would have assumed they were either joking or their judgment was emotionally compromised. But with Spock it could be neither. The face before him was grim but determined.
After a long moments pause he finally said, "So why tell me?"
"I require some medical supplies as a precautionary measure."
"My blasted big toe… I'm going with you."
Spock opened his mouth with his ready protest. He had, of course, anticipated this highly impulsive act on the part of the Doctor. He did not wish to involve anyone else in this highly rebellious act. Before his well thought out response could be spoken, though, he was interrupted with another long string of curses by the Doctor who ended simply with, "So no arguing I'm coming with you because one of us has to be the sane one!"
The man flopped weakly onto the hard mat that was his bed every night. He would get exactly 5 hrs to rest. Regardless of whether he slept or not, he would be roughly dragged up the minute 5 hrs ticked by. Then he would return to Level 2 to work. Level 2… another worker had told him that it was the "training level" for the new "recruits."
"If ye're too slow," the man said, "they will kill you. If ye work hard, ye'll be given harder work than this."
"How is it you have been here so long without moving on to other levels?" he asked simply.
"I knows ways of bribing guards. Don't ye try it though. Else I'll kill ye myself. Only one of us can be the favorite 'round here."
The man had thought that and odd thing to say. For the "favorite" was not treated particularly well either.
He shifted uncomfortably on his mat. Every inch of him hurt, not only from the physical exertion, but from the cuts and bruises he had been gifted with by the ever changing guards. He closed his eyes hoping to catch some sleep. He had long since learned that to stay awake fitfully trying to get comfortable only resulted in a slap from the guard and an even longer work period.
As he slowly tried to relax he thought back to the ever nagging questions: Who am I? Where am I from? Is this all that I am? Am I supposed to be more? He slowly drifted through those questions until it came… it was the only thing that he could clearly see and remember. A face. A kind face though it did not smile. He did not know to whom the face belonged or even how he should know it. All he knew was that he did know that face… and then there was a word. It echoed and bounced through his scattered thoughts though he did not understand the meaning of it. The longer his mind focused on the memory of the face the more strength he felt. A calming feeling overcame him and oddly his wounds seemed to lessen in intensity. It was always like this when he saw the face. Then at last he would fall into a deep sleep…
"This is suicide," Bones griped angrily.
"You were not obligated to come, doctor," Spock said in his I-am-Vulcan-therefore-I-am-not-annoyed voice, "in fact you insisted that you accompany me. I had not intended on having you as a traveling companion."
"I know, I know," Bones said angrily, "But just how in this whole galaxy are we supposed to locate Jim in this half run-down shuttle pod?"
"This shuttle-pod was carefully fixed by Mr. Scott. It should handle a long journey in space. There are enough food rations to feed each of us for precisely 2.5 years if we ration cautiously. The fuel will not need to be supplied for at least 8.9 months. The-"
"I get it Spock. We are prepared for a bit of a jaunt in space. If we can keep from killing each other before then, but my question remains: how are we gonna find Jim? All of Starfleet couldn't come up with a single answer."
"The Captain was obviously taken in such a way that tracing him is impossible… therefore I have logically concluded that I must… 'follow my gut.'"
Bones nearly choked, "You're what? You green-blooded computer, you don't have a gut to follow-"
Bones was about to continue on a long lecture about the overall heritage of Vulcan when he saw the look in Spock's eyes… it was something he had only seen on rare occasions when Jim's life hung in the balance.
"Oh…." He said softly, "Sorry…. I… uh…. Forget it."
Spock gave him a grateful look then turned back to the control and adjusted the heading for a far uncharted region of space.
"The Sarice Asteroid Field?" Bones asked rhetorically.
Spock naturally said nothing, merely increased the speed of the vessel then closed his eyes in deep meditation. Bones shook his head. He hated all of that Vulcan mind-mumbo-jumbo… but he couldn't deny what he had both seen and felt before. Spock had a way of knowing things.
His memories took him back to that time when Spock had nearly collapsed on the bridge. He then had said simply that a Vulcan ship had been destroyed. "Call it a deep understanding of the way things are."
He had proved correct.
Then there was the time in Tholian Space where everyone though Kirk was dead and by all rights was. Yet Spock refused to leave, doggedly insisting that Kirk was still alive… he was correct.
It wasn't just Spock either…
Jim had a way of knowing things too. When the Shuttlecraft Galileo had crashed somehow Kirk knew to keep looking… knew they were alive.
It was something Bones had never mentioned or pushed, but he knew that the two were somehow… connected. Mind melded? Joined? Bonded? Who knew? He really didn't want to know. All he knew was that if Spock said Jim was alive, and could be rescued… then he would willingly follow Spock to the edge of the Galaxy if need be.
The man screamed in agony as the guard struck him for the 5th time on his back, "I said UP you worm!"
"Is that what I am?" he whispered, "a worm?" It seemed like a pathetic word. Not like the other word that would float through his mind when he slept.
"UP!" the guard kicked him.
He groaned and tried desperately to stagger to his feet. He had long since lost track of time on Level 2. He did not know how long he had been there, but today they had moved him to Level 6. Level 6 was much worse. Instead of stones they were forced to literally swim through the drudge of some sort of natural occurring chemical. It smelled like sulfur, and that is what was bothering him most. That smell had a memory to it. Heat, red, sand. Feelings were connected with the memory… worry, concern, friendship… duty. And for some reason he had seen the face again. Although the memory of the face was dark and frightening. The face was in danger and… angry? He did not understand the thought at all and had paused to try to remember more before his thoughts were shattered by the guard's fists.
He crawled up and being to swim through the murky chemicals again. It burned his skin and caused his open wounds to feel as though they were on fire… fire… heat… blood? The memory returned but he forced it back. He was getting nowhere with it anyway and if he kept slowing down this murky substance would be his grave.
Another slap from the guard got him moving quicker as he reached bellow the drudge to pull up the long fibers that grew beneath the nasty surface. Whatever they were, they were long and slippery. The one he pulled up wriggled and he lost his grip on it.
Without warning the guard grabbed his head and plunged it into the murk. He held his breath for a long time. His lungs were bursting and his head was spinning. Redness, sparks, pain, darkness… and then the face. Suddenly a calm came over him.
So this is how I am to die? he thought, Remembering a face that seems so kind and yet I do not know whose face it is? Blackness was closing around him when suddenly there was a flash. A burning sensation and then… he was being lifted. Strong arms were pulling him from the drudge. A voice was calling loudly, "Jim? Jim can you hear me? Spock let that guy go and come help me!" Then there was blackness.
When the man awoke his first thought was that his mat was unusually soft. He opened his eyes to brilliant white. He shut them hard and gasped.
"Easy now, Jim," a voice said, "Just relax."
He opened his eyes once more and saw a smiling face with blue eyes.
"What did you call me?"
The smile dropped a moment as the face frowned, "Do you know who I am?"
"No…" the man sighed, "But I don't know who I am either so it doesn't matter."
The face took on a worried expression.
He turned his head to look at the other figure in the white room… and struggled to keep from crying aloud… there before him was the face! The same pointed ears, and the same kind face that didn't smile. He struggled to sit up but was pushed down. Panic seized him. If he saw the face then… then… the white room, the bright lights, "I'm dead!" he shouted then fainted.
"BLAST IT!" Bones cursed angrily and rushed for a hypospray.
"What is wrong doctor?" Spock said carefully keeping the sudden panic he felt from showing itself in his voice.
"Amnesia is my guess," Bones said angrily, "I knew it was too good to be true… that bump on the head… plus there is some darn chemical in his body that I can't identify… we've got to get him back to the Enterpise and soon."
Spock nodded then said, "The autopilot is taking us there at its fastest speed. I have already sent a message alerting the Enterprise of our arrival."
"Let's just hope it's enough," Bones whispered.
The man awoke again, the usual ugly feeling of not knowing where he was filled him. He was in yet another setting. Not as bright and white as before. He sat up slowly feeling a wonderful sensation of cleanliness and refreshment. He glanced about but saw no one. So I must not be dead, he thought, If I were, my body wouldn't hurt so much. He looked about the room and saw neatly arranged instruments next to several beds that looked reasonably comfortable. Yet nothing seemed familiar. Those men he had seen before acted as though they knew who he was, and what is more, they acted as if they… cared for him. It felt good.
Perhaps if I wander about something will seem familiar to me, he thought.
He stood up then realized that he was not dressed properly. He looked around until he saw a neatly stacked pair of clothes. There was a shirt of yellow and black pants. Holding them up to him they looked as though they would fit. He wondered if perhaps they were intended for him to wear. If not, he hoped the owner of the clothes would not mind him borrowing them.
He carefully dressed and considered what to do. He had had much more sleep than he was accustomed too. He felt full of energy despite the pain in his muscles. Besides, he had learned to deal with the pain long ago.
I'll just walk a little bit, I'm still tired. But I can't stand being alone.
That was the only fact about himself that he was certain about. It was one of the many feelings he could remember… feelings without a memory to provide meaning.
He slowly walked out of the doors in front of him to find himself in some sort of hallway. The ground beneath his feet hummed. I am in a factory of some kind, but it does not seem as bad here as Level 2 or Level 6. He wandered to his left hoping for a viewport or window that would give him a clue where he was at.
Several people walked past him. They were very friendly. Some would nod or smile at him. He smiled back, but none of their faces seemed familiar. The only face that he remembered was the one with the pointed ears… and even then he didn't know who it was. He was hoping that man would walk past him. He felt as though if he could only talk with him… tell him what he did feel and know… that maybe something would come back. However, the pointed eared man did not appear. Frustration threatened to overwhelm him for a moment, but he continued on hoping for something to help him out.
All the while he was observing the area about him. He would see the occasional worker, yet no one seemed abused or threatening. The work was not mining of any kind, but rather some sort of electrical work it seemed. Wherever he was… it felt like a good place to be.
Just as he was about to turn around and make his way back to where he had awoken, a young man with dark hair came walking past.
"Hello Captin," he said in a thick Russian accent.
The man stopped.
"What did you say?" He asked with a frown.
"I just said hello," the young man replied puzzled, "I'm glad to see you are alright, sir."
The man forced himself to smile and the young man relaxed then walked off with a brief salute.
"Captain?" the man whispered. He began to panic, "I'm a Captain? Of what?"
He turned and ran.
He sprinted down the halls past all the smiling people. If he was a Captain he certainly didn't want those under him to know that… that he had no idea who they were or what he was supposed to do.
He rounded a bend and stopped abruptly. There was a viewport just as he wanted. His eyes were greeted with a magnificent view of the stars. They sped past the window at an incredible speed making them blur. He swayed for a moment overwhelmed by the sight before him. He felt sick.
Stars… he had a strong emotional feeling about them. He didn't know why… but an idea was forming itself in his mind. To his left he spotted a computer terminal. Strangely, he did know how to operate one yet he did not remember ever having done so.
"Computer," he said quickly, "What is this vessel?"
"This vessel is the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC 1701 Commissioned by Starfleet Command Star Date."
"Stop," he said panting, "show picture and blueprints of USS Enterprise.
Before him the screen flashed a magnificent picture of a huge vessel. The blueprints that followed showed endless decks, and an impressive firepower. I'm on a ship.
"Who is the Captain of the USS Enterprise?" he whispered feeling his heart race.
"Captain James T. Kirk took over command of USS Enterprise Stardate-"
"Stop, show picture of James T. Kirk." He said quickly and then held his breath.
The face that appeared was a smiling one. The eyes spoke of great knowledge, but almost a boyish eagerness. The man glanced at his own reflection in the window that had the same face and same clothes… but the eyes were empty and very much afraid.
He tore himself away from the picture and the strange reflection. He took off running again.
He ran not knowing where to go. His mind was a throbbing, racing blur of emotions and images. He ran until he stopped speeding past people who gave him puzzled looks. Then he darted into a dark room. He prayed no one would be inside to question him. He was relieved to find only bins of some kind. He got onto his hand and knees and crawled behind one of the bins.
Captain… Captain of a ship… why can't I remember? He drew his knees to his chest and started to sob.
A beam of light illuminated his dark hiding place for a moment as someone stepped inside the storage room. A figure came around the bin and stood above him. He wiped his eyes and glanced up… it was the one with the pointed ears.
"Computer lighting 20%" the man's voice said loudly. The lights around them illuminated slightly, like an evening twilight. He then said firmly yet softly, "You should have remained in Sick Bay where you can be cared for."
"I'm Captain?" the man's voice was frightened and mournful.
The face took a deep breath. He then moved carefully to sit just in front of him.
"Yes," the man answered, "You are the Captain."
"How can I be Captain to a crew that I don't remember?" he whispered.
The man's face was stone and yet his eyes seemed to burst with empathy, "Your condition will pass. You must rest and get well, and then your memory will come to you."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because," the voice said so warmly that it contrasted strangely with the set countenance before him, "You are Jim Kirk, and Jim Kirk is the man who always beats the odds."
For some reason the warmth of this man's eyes and words seemed to give him strength. It was as it always had been when he saw the face… he straightened a little and then said more firmly, "You know… I do remember one thing…"
The man across from him lifted one eyebrow slightly and cocked his head to the side.
He paused a moment then said bluntly, "I remember you."
The eyebrow went to his hairline. It was somewhat comical.
"Whenever I was hurt, or exhausted, and wanted to give up" he continued, "which was most the time on Level 2 and worse on Level 6… just as I closed my eyes to drift to sleep I would see your face. And for some reason whenever I saw it I felt a sensation of strength not my own…. I don't know who and what I really am. But for some reason when I look at you… I can feel it. I see your face and… I know I am home. I hear your voice and I know that I can trust you, and that I am safe. I don't know your name, but I want to call you… well it is a word I am not sure what it means. It is a word which often comes into my head when I am in pain… it is a special word. All I know is it means… you."
"What word?" The man whispered and his voice seemed somewhat hoarse.
"T'hy'la"
The man's face was no longer rigid. His lip quivered visibly for a moment before he regained his composure.
"I am your t'hy'la." He said somewhat shakily, "When your memory returns you will know what that means. For now, you say you trust me. Then please come with me back to sick bay. You must stay there until you have recovered."
The man nodded and stood up. The other man stood too and took his arm in his hand, "You will be alright, Jim" he whispered.
"That's my name?" the man asked, "Jim?"
The man nodded.
"What is yours?"
"You will remember in time," the man said simply, "Come Jim."
Jim walked out of the storage room then said awkwardly, "Uh… could you lead the way?"
The man nodded and walked slightly in front of him, yet still at his side. As the two made their way through the long hallways of the ship Jim couldn't help but smile for the first time in a very long while. Somehow having this man at his side felt… right.
When he entered the room… "Sick Bay" as it kept being called, he was met with the angry face of the blue-eyed man whom he had awoken to before.
"Typical Jim Kirk to wander out of the room! I swear I can't turn my back on you for two seconds! Thanks Spock," he said glancing sideways.
"I shall stay here since you are incapable of caring for your patient alone."
"Why you green blooded…"
"Spock…" Jim whispered to himself. The two men stopped their heated argument for a moment and stared in surprise at Jim.
"My name is Jim and you are Spock," he whispered, "And… you are… are… my T'hylia… which means friend only… more than a friend… like a brother and… and…"
He grunted as his head began to hurt horribly. There was a sharp pain as he tried desperately to put the right words to the sudden burst of emotions that he was feeling. It was as if somewhere in his mind a door was opening and yet it was being shut at the same time. There was pain and darkness… and he couldn't breath. The blue-eyed man was now whisking him over to a bed and shouting out orders to someone else. But Jim didn't hear him because all he knew was that the pain was hurting him and darkness was closing around the redness before his eyes…
"I knew it!" Dr. McCoy shouted angrily. He frantically began injecting Jim with every kind of stabilizer known to science. Spock anxiously watched as the readings on the bio-bed at last reached a steady level. Though they were not excellent readings, at least he was stable.
"Why did you leave him alone?" Spock asked accusingly when he saw the Doctor relax.
"Because my green-blooded hob-goblin," he growled without taking his eyes off of the monitor above him, "the computer registered that it had recognized the chemical in Jim's blood. I went to check it for a grand total of 5 seconds and he was gone!"
Spock said nothing merely looked intently at the now pale face of his Captain.
"Is the chemical the cause of the Captain's loss in memory?"
"Absolutely. I swear that the Orion Minors deliberately injected it into his bloodstream for that reason. If he didn't know who he was he would be easier to manipulate. Although why they used a Starfleet Captain to man one of their death mines I will never know."
"That is a problem for Starfleet command," Spock said simply, "Have you got an effective counteragent to the chemical?"
"Yes, but it is gonna take a while to process and-"
Just then the readings spiked then dropped with a rapidity that McCoy had never seen. The monitors wailed all around him as he dove into action.
My name is Jim.
The idea floated about in the man's head. He saw a door. Behind it he knew there was all the information he so desperately needed. All the memories… yet when he tried to open it he was suddenly dashed into a world of pain and torment. Darkness and emptiness began to fill his thoughts…
Then there was a sensation of something else. The face was there again. And the word… "T'hy'la"
Yet he had not spoken it,
"T'hy'la!" the voice in his head said again, "I am here."
And there he was. Spock. T'hy'la. Someone who belonged. Someone who had been there before. Familiarity swept over his mind like a warm breeze.
"Spock," his mind answered back, "Can you help me?"
"Yes," the voice said, "But it is dangerous now. You're mind is damaged by physical injuries and a chemical which prevents me from accessing you're memories just as it prevents you from accessing them. But you must fight the urge to give in. The Doctor is working to heal you but at the moment your body has gone into shock and he is concerned you will fall into a coma. He is operating to help you. You must hold on."
Just then a dark void opened up in the back of his mind. He felt himself falling into it.
"STOP!" Spock commanded, "You must stay HERE with ME."
"I want to, but I am tired."
"Then reach for me."
He tried. His whole mind reached out for the face that was so warm, so loving, so gentle, so…. He touched the face and instantly the black void recoiled from behind him and he was warm and safe. Stay here for a while, the voice said gently, and when it is time we shall access that part of your mind blocked.
Spock… Jim… T'hy'la … Friend… Brother….
The words danced about in his mind and yet he did not know which mind had spoken them. How long the two minds were entwined he would never know. It seemed like they shared an eternity together. And then suddenly there was a light, a burst of lightening in the darkness. "It is time," the voice said exhaustedly.
"Wait!" his mind shouted, "have I been feeding off of your energy?"
"Yes t'hy'la, it is my duty and my right to give it to you. Now you must access your memory now."
"But."
"DO IT!"
He saw in his mind the same door he had seen earlier. It looked as though it had been charred and damaged, yet it was not blocked. He reached forward and opened it. A cascade overtook him. It was a crashing of a wave. Heat and cold, darkness and light, sound and silence all mingled in a huge tumble of memories. He turned for a moment, but found that his touch with the other mind was gone.
Jim awoke slowly. He blinked several times before clarity hit him.
"Spock!" he shouted and sat up making the room reel.
"Hold on there Jim Boy! Lay back down or so help me I'll sedate you!"
"Bones is Spock Ok?" he asked desperately.
Dr. McCoy got a relieved look on his face, "You remember me?"
"Yes, Yes. I remember it all. Ask me my serial number, the name of my dog, anything but FIRST where is Spock is he alright?"
"I am perfectly alright Captain," the familiar and welcome voice said.
He turned to see his friend lying in the bed next to him. Spock sat up easily and said, "I trust you have fully recovered."
"Yes thanks to you," Jim said warmly.
Spock looked down for a moment just as Bones cut in, "You are just lucky you know who you are after a crazy stunt like that. Don't you ever jump into a meld with Jim while I am operating on him again, do you hear? Half the time I didn't know if I was getting your brain wave readings or Jim's. It's bad enough having one stubborn patient messing with my bio-monitors. Let alone two!"
"What happened?" Jim asked rubbing his head.
The two exchanged glances then summed up the event of the past 2 months,
Jim shook his head, "It's only been 2 months?"
The two nodded solemnly.
2 months… and it wasn't over yet. There was still Starfleet to deal with. They were not too happy about the Acting Captain and CMO taking off on a wild goose chase. They were even more unhappy to discover that they were in a far off part of space that was practically uncharted and rumored to be occupied by Orion Miners. Then they were delighted (though very much surprised) to hear that the two rebels had returned with their Captain. Only to be told he had lost his memory. Needless to say there would be another 2 months of red tape to work through before the three men in sickbay would ever get Starfleet off their backs.
None of this mattered at the moment though. The three shared a warm silent moment as they each considered how grateful they were for each other.
"Alright," Bones said, "I want you both to sleep. Got that? I'll sedate the two of you if I have to. No talking non-stop like you usually do."
He waved a threatening finger at them, but his face was twinkling with happiness. He lowered the lights and left the room for a moment.
"You should sleep, Jim." Spock said after a long silence when it was obvious that Jim was not even trying to sleep.
"So should you," he said softly, "I took a lot out of you, and I'm sorry."
"No need to apologize. As I said… it is my right… and privilege."
Jim closed his eyes then whispered, "Thanks for being with me all this time, Spock, even when I didn't know who you were."
Spock made no answer… he didn't need to.
Jim glanced over once more at the dark outline of his friend's face.
He closed his eyes again and slept the most restful sleep he could remember. Just before he dozed off he whispered the word which had kept him going all that time, the word that he now fully knew the meaning of.
"T'hy'la."
The word reached Spock's ever alert ears. In the darkness he smiled.