SO ONCE UPON A TIME (A WEEK AGO) I WAS SNUGGLING MY GIRLFRIEND ON HER COUCH AND WE WERE TALKING TO GINNY ON SKYPE. THIS NEVER EVER ENDS WELL.
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[left in its original notated form for posterity, half written by me and half by reili because i think i was laughing too hard] )
"There's asp venom in one of those, and the other one has the venom of Cheiracanthium punctorium. Can anyone tell which is which?"
The first years shake their heads.
"See, there are all kinds of substitutes for snake venom, snake skin, even snake fangs. So, all of your books are going to need some fixing as we go along." The vials float back to the front desk and Professor Saporta opens his book. "All right, everyone open your books to page 124, scribble out 'skin of one cobra' and write in 'shell of two Skrewts,' and start collecting everything else on there." The cupboards open, and the first-years take a moment to raise eyebrows at each other before scuttling over.
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