Sweet Valley High Super Edition #11: Earthquake

[daniellafromage]

I wasn't going to do this so soon, guys - I was all Sweet Vallied out after my last recap - but then yesterday I made the mistake of reading my university's creative writing magazine. My friends, it is the most...I mean, it is so incredibly...Guys, it makes the Sweet Valley books look good. It is twenty-two pages of the most tedious dreck I have

Comments

[remindmeofthe]

While all this is going on, Steven and Billie find Ned and Alice Wakefield alive and well. I'm sure you were all very concerned about them.

I was! Every bit as concerned as they usually are for the well-being of their children!

Anyway, all these unconscious teenagers are lying about. It's John Pfeifer's paradise! I'm sorry, that was horrible.

Yes, it was. Which is why I almost choked on my spaghetti when I read it. XD It also leads neatly into a joke in re: Ken, unconscious Olivia, and watersports.

This recap was hysterical. I didn't realize this series, like, ended. I thought it just vaguely petered off once sales went down too far.

[daniellafromage]

Oh, man! I'm sorry I ever brought up the idea of watersports now! I feel really sorry for Olivia. D:

I actually don't think they did an awful job trying to segue SVH into SVHSY. True, it has zero consistency with SVU, but the vast majority of SVHSY inaccuracies can be simply fanwanked away - as opposed to the SVU inaccuracies!

[esc_key]

I don't think that any of the Devon Whitelaw books have been recapped yet, so I'll quickly introduce him. Devon, 1bruce1 members; 1bruce1 members, Devon. Devon has Lila's daddy issues, Enid's seedy past, Bruce's wealth, Conner's whininess, and nobody's awesomeness. Also, both twins were in love with him. So was Enid. Hee. Poor Enid. She had no chance. I also heard a rumour that Devon started life as a character on the TV series and Francine Pascal decided to introduce him into the books as well. If this is true, that is pathetic. Not that I have anything against the trashy, wonderful TV series, but you don't take your cues from it, you know?
Oh crap, you beat me by like a day. I'm recapping the Inferno series now and I had a whole paragraph about how Devon was in the series or whatever. I'll leave it in. You'll see.

Dying with Todd was worse than dying alone.
This is so true.

I liked to die with Lila please. Barring that I picked running away with Bruce.

[kerrence]

I liked to die with Lila please. Barring that I picked running away with Bruce.

cosigned!

also:
Dying with Todd was worse than dying alone.

it could be worse. you could be dying with John Pfeifer, only he's not really dying. boo!

[daniellafromage]

I'd forgotten that Devon was in the Inferno series. Is he actually with Liz, or what? The only scene from any of the books I can really remember is when Steven takes Lila out to that restaurant and she steals the matches.

Also, I hope that he's not, like, your second-favourite character after Lila, because awkward. Whatever the case, I look forward to reading your description of him!

[esc_key]

I just started on the first book and that's his first apperance. He's annoying me from the get-go. I never read this late in the series so I'm approaching it with new WTF? eyes. I thought he was just a character on the TV show.

[schmandalous]

"Everyone is wandering around town looking sad and confused. It's like that episode of Buffy where the entire town of Sunnydale loses the ability to speak."

I LOVE "Hush!" Probably the scariest/one of the best episodes ever. Not nearly as scary as how bad this book is, but still.

[daniellafromage]

It's not a personal favourite (although it's got some great jokes. Season Four is totally the best season for funny episodes), but it would probably make my top twenty - and objectively speaking, it totally is one of the best episodes.

Oh, Buffy. (Why don't I have any Buffy icons?!)

[zippyladoodles]

Series 4 is totally the best. After that, series one. Hehe though Ally McBeal is a serious contender for brilliant series. Anyway, I'm rambling so..

[whataboutjen]

Waaaait a minute ... July would make them Cancers. Gemini is June. And is it June 13 or June 12? Because of the whole earthquake at midnight thing, it's a bit unclear.

[daniellafromage]

Yeesh, sorry. I was obsessed with astrology/tarot/Ouija boards when I was twelve (just like Jessica Wakefield, not coincidentally. Oh, teenie paganism), and clearly my memory's not quite up to scratch! I'll fix it now.

Their birthday's definitely the thirteenth, though. The earthquake isn't at midnight - it's around ten o'clock-ish in the evening. (As a side note, the thirteenth of June was a Sunday in 1999, but even I'm not nitpicky enough to get the ghost-writer on that!)

[whataboutjen]

Heh, just call me Nitpicky Nancy!

I love your recaps. You recap the best ones. Thank you so much.

[daniellafromage]

Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply that you were being too nitpicky! And my "yeesh" was aimed at me, not you! I've been having some srs bzns communication problems over the past few days. I - I'd better just get offline for half an hour. D:

*crawls away to DIE*

[brorissa]

[daniellafromage]

You are so right! Why give a fuck about a dead little girl when you have to deal with the emotional trauma of Melissa Fox calling you a slut?