SVT #104 - Big Brothers in Love Again
Whoever the ghostwriter for this book was, they did a great job! It’s surprisingly well written, and each scene ends with a cliffhanger. Who knew such great prose and pacing could be found in the world of Sweet Valley?
The caption on the front of this book asks, “Is Steven the hottest guy at school?” I’m going to go out on a limb and say, probably not. But let’s dive into the book and find out.
Amy and Liz are in the cafeteria at lunch discussing the upcoming Valentine’s Day street dance. I have no idea wtf a “street dance” is, but whatever - the important thing is, there’s a DANCE. And it’s not just the middle school who will be there; SVH students will be there as well. Amy and Liz are nervous because neither Ken nor Todd, their respective “sort of boyfriends,” have asked them to the dance yet. Liz is especially concerned because she saw Cammie Adams talking to Todd in science the other day and obviously talking = flirting. Liz suggests they could ask the boys, but they don’t. Winston comes over to the table to do an impression of a gargoyle and mentions that there won’t be many boys at the dance because the school has an away basketball game the same day and most of the guys are either on the team or going to watch it.
Liz and Amy start freaking out. Liz thinks, Todd sure loves basketball. I can’t imagine him missing a game, even for a dance. Even for me. Todd and Ken walk up to the girls and say they came to ask them something. Liz gets all excited and thinks that Todd must have realized that a Valentine’s Day dance is way more important than a basketball game… but Todd and Ken invite them to the game. Amy and Liz ask, what about the dance? Todd says there will be other dances (duh, it’s Sweet Valley) and Ken says it’s “not every day you get to see Matthews and Wilkins in action.”
After school, Jessica goes grocery shopping with her mom. They run into Mrs. Claybaugh, whose son Pete is on the SVH basketball team with Steven. Mrs. Wakefield and Mrs. Claybaugh start talking, and Mrs. Claybaugh mentions that her two nephews, in 6th and 7th grade, are in town for the week. Jessica perks up and, as Mrs. Claybaugh walks off, she catches sight of the guys in the store. They’re skateboarders and total hotties. Mrs. Wakefield is oblivious and asks Jessica if she thinks they should buy the “large economy size on the sanitary napkins”. Jessica ditches her mom and races after the guys, but they disappear. She is disappointed but remembers that no one else knows these guys are in town, so she’s going to keep the news to herself and snag one of them as a date to the dance (since Aaron will be at the basketball game).
Meanwhile, Steven’s at Casey’s, eating ice cream with Joe Howell. They start talking about girls, and Joe says he doesn’t want to be tied down to one girl, at least not until he’s 68. Steven tells Joe how great it is having Cathy as a girlfriend because it means he has a standing date every Friday night, but Joe says he’d get tired of just one girl. Joe says that since he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he can ask anyone out without making anyone jealous. He then walks over to two girls at another table and starts chatting them up. Steven starts questioning whether Joe is right to not settle down with one girl.
Jessica decides to tell Liz the news about the hot brothers staying with the Claybaughs. Liz the Buzzkill says that thanks to the basketball game, no one else will have a date, so they don't need to either. Besides, she wouldn’t feel right about going to the dance with someone other than Todd. Jess starts questioning their relationship, asking if Todd eats with her, carries her books, walks her home, write little notes just because, calls her, etc. Liz admits that Todd rarely calls her and that when he does, their conversations are short, like Want to go to a movie next Friday? Yeah? Good. OK, bye. I guess Todd will become a better conversationalist when he gets to high school and needs something to do up at Miller’s Point. Or when he moves in with Liz, giving them lots of opportunities to “talk.” At any rate, Liz admits that when it comes to romance, Todd’s nothing to write home about. Apparently 12-year-old Liz is a lot smarter than 12-year-old me.
Jessica asks Steven if he’ll talk to Pete about introducing his cousins to the twins. Steven is moody and on edge, wondering if he’s doing the right thing by dating Cathy exclusively, and he tells Jessica that he’s not her message boy and besides, sixth graders don’t need dates for a dance, so there’s no way he’s going to talk to Pete. This pisses both twins off. Now that Liz is mad, she’s ready to side with Jess and take action to score dates with the hotties.
Later, Cathy, who Steven’s been dating since the last time the title announced that big brother was in love, comes over. While Steven is still “banging around in the bathroom”, the twins talk to Cathy. Jessica asks Cathy to press Steven to talk to Pete about his cousins and if she thinks it’s okay for sixth graders to go to dances with dates. Cathy says she will and yes. She also tells Jess that she understands why she’s disappointed about Aaron going to the game instead of the dance. Jess thinks Cathy is like the older sister they never had. The twins ask where Cathy and Steven are heading that night for their date. Cathy says they’re going to a movie but she doesn’t know which one; she just doesn’t want to see the super violent new movie Danger Zone, Part Six.
Steven comes downstairs and Cathy asks him to talk to Pete, but Steven refuses. He then tells her they’re going to see Danger Zone, Part Six. When Cathy says it’s not really her type of movie, Steven is a total douchebag and tells her she shouldn’t be prejudiced against a movie she hasn’t seen and that he’s going to see the movie because he should get to do the things he wants to do and is she coming or not?
After Cathy and Steven leave, the twins shudder. Jess tells Liz that after she dates Todd for a few years, Todd will turn into Steven Wakefield, Junior.
At the theater, Steven buys a big tub of popcorn but doesn’t want to share it with Cathy and gets pissy when she starts talking before the movie starts, interrupting everything she tries to say. Steven starts thinking that maybe he’s not a one-woman guy and that he’s too young to be tied down.
“The Big Men on Campus” (as they call themselves) walk into the theater. This group includes a senior basketball player named Richard Ferris. Ferris greets Steven and waves at him, and Steven is so excited about being recognized by a Big Man on Campus that he vaults out of his seat, totally ditching Cathy, to join the Big Men. Ferris and the other guys start talking about playing the field and about how many hot girls there are out there. Ferris asks if Steven is here with Cathy. Steven says he’s not really here with her, they’re just friends. Ferris asks if Steven wants to sit with them, and he does. Also with this group is Jill Hale, who Steven was in lust with before Cathy.
After the movie, Steven notices that Cathy has left. In a way, he wasn’t sorry that he’d brought her. Open her mind a little bit. Give her new experiences and all that. Jill greets Steven and he is mesmerized by her beauty. The guys say they’re going out for pizza and ask if Steven’s coming. Jill pouts about them doing “boy stuff.” Steven guesses that was a hint so he says that no, he and Jill are going skating. She agrees. Steven is thrilled he asked her out in front of all the Big Men, proving to them that he has balls. Jill asks, isn’t Steven dating Cathy? He says it’s nothing serious. They leave to get a burger and then go skating.
Meanwhile, Jess and Liz are in the bushes outside the Claybough house, hoping the cousins will appear so they can accidentally-on-purpose run into them. It’s getting cold. Cathy walks by and talks to the twins for a short while, telling them how Steven ditched her at the movies but she ran into some other friends so it wasn’t a total waste. After Cathy leaves, Janet Howell appears and asks what the twins are doing. Jessica doesn’t want Janet to know about the hotties, so she lies and says that they just saw Janet's boyfriend, Denny Jacobson, heading to the Dairi Burger with some girl. Janet gets angry and asks if the girl was Ellen. Jessica says maybe. Janet storms off toward the Dairi Burger. Liz is appalled, but Jess says that if Janet and Denny decide to be mad at each other, it’s their problem, not hers.
Mr. and Mrs. Claybough come out of the house to sit on the porch. Liz and Jessica listen to their conversation and find out that Pete took his cousins to play volleyball and then were heading to the Dairi Burger for dessert. Jess and Liz dart off toward the Dairi Burger. They run into Janet one block away from the Dairi Burger. Trying to keep Janet away from the Dairi Burger, Jessica improvises and says that it was just on the news: roaches were found in the food at the Dairi Burger! Janet is shocked and takes off for the Dairi Burger. Jess asks why she’s still going there, now that she knows about the roaches. Janet says that if Denny eats a roach there, she’ll never forgive herself. The twins head inside with her.
In the Dairi Burger, Janet starts calling Denny’s name, trying to figure out where he is and prevent him from eating a burger. To Liz, Jessica points out Pete and his cousins in one of the booths, and Liz actually gulps at how hot the boys are. Janet, still seeking Denny, is about to walk by and see the hotties, so Jessica lies again, saying she just saw Denny go into the girl’s bathroom. Janet is confused but runs into the girl’s bathroom anyway. Jessica locks the door from the outside. By the time the twins turn around, the hotties are gone. They leave Janet locked in the bathroom and take off in search of the boys. Outside, instead of finding the hotties, they see Steven holding hands with Jill Hale and feel nauseated.
Steven and Jill go into the Dairi Burger. Steven recommends the “Razzmatazz” burger, which he describes as being a “half pound of beef, two kinds of cheese, Canadian bacon, steak fries, double onion rings, salsa, jalapeno peppers if you want ‘em.” Jill says she’ll have a garden salad with low-fat dressing and sparkling water. Steven assumes that everyone in the place is looking at him and thinking, We had no idea Wakefield was so cool. But he must be, ‘cause he’s dating Jill Hale.
Steven’s conscience catches up to him as Cathy crosses his mind. He thinks he should call Cathy and “let her down easy” because she must be at home pining away for him. He goes to the pay phone and breaks up with Cathy over the phone, saying that he needs to “play the field and stuff.” After he hangs up, he sits at a table with Jill, who laughs at his non-funny jokes and then wants to talk about stuff Steven doesn’t care about. He’s kinda bored, but since she’s so beautiful, he’s happy and barely remembers Cathy’s name.
After that, Steven and Jill head to the skating rink. When Steven goes to buy a soda for Jill, thinking about how much money he’s dropped that night, he spots Cathy skating with her friends! He thinks that Cathy must be sad, even though she has a grin on her face. Steven decides he feels sorry for Cathy; just because she’s skating with friends doesn’t mean she isn’t pining away for him inside.
When Jill goes to the bathroom, Steven approaches Cathy and manages to be an even bigger douchebag than before. Check out this exchange:
Cathy: What do you want?
Steven: To apologize. I wanted to say, you know, I’m sorry and all that. I know you must be really crying inside.
Cathy: Huh?
Steven: I feel terrible about it, but, hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. I wish there was more than one of me so you wouldn’t have to be alone. But, you know, it’s cruel irony and the hand of fate and it’s as painful for me as it is for you.
Meanwhile, Jess and Liz are outside the Claybough house again, once more trying to run into the cousins. Jessica decides to get them outside by yelling “Fire!” Unfortunately, the Clayboughs aren’t home, but a bunch of other people on the block are, and they all run outside, thinking their own house is on fire.
The next morning, Janet calls Jess. She says that Denny wasn’t at the Dairi Burger and wasn’t with Ellen, so everything’s okay. Then she invites Jess and Liz to her brother's band practice (their band is playing at the street dance). I wonder where the young Dana Larson is and why she isn’t fronting a band at this point.
At the band practice, the Unicorns complain how all the guys are going to the basketball game instead of the dance. Jess announces that not all guys will be at the game and that she and Liz have dates. When her friends ask who, she says it’s a mystery. Janet doesn’t believe Jessica and makes a bet: if Jess and Liz show up with dates, Janet will announce to the crowd, in the microphone, that her brother's band is better than Johnny Buck's. But if they show up without dates, Jess and Liz have to dress alike and dance together for every single dance. Jessica agrees. Liz is worried because they haven’t even met their supposed dates yet.
Sunday evening, Steven is in front of the mirror, unsuccessfully trying to cover a zit with baby powder. Hee! Joe shows up and asks Steven if he and Cathy are really over because, if so, he wants to date her. Steven is shocked but says he guesses that’d be okay, especially since he thinks that the odds of Joe and Cathy getting together are less than zero.
Steven heads out to some dance club with Jill, who doesn’t want to dance and proceeds to talk nonstop about all the home remedies she uses to lighten her hair. Steven’s bored and makes a joke that Jill doesn’t get but he knows Cathy would have found funny. He wonders if he’s made the right decision to date her, but then a bunch of the Big Men on Campus come over to greet him, and Steven smugly thinks that dating Jill was the best decision he could have made because she’s his ticket to coolness at SVH.
The twins, meanwhile, are at home, trying to come up with a new way to meet the hotties. Jessica decides to call Pete’s house. When she gets Pete on the phone, she says she’s “a friend” and asks to talk to one of his cousins. He says he’s not an answering machine and to leave him alone.
At lunch the next day, Steven’s sitting with Jill and her friends, who are discussing a broken fingernail. He’s bored again. Then Cathy and Joe stroll into the cafeteria, holding hands. Steven decides that Cathy must be “sobbing inside” to be actually falling for Joe.
After school, Steven sits in front of school with Jill, who talks at length about emery boards. Ferris and the other Big Men are playing basketball nearby, and Steven wishes he could join them because it’d be way more fun. Finally, Jill leaves and Steven heads over to Cathy’s house because he’d promised to go to the street dance with her awhile back and wants to talk to her about it. She opens the door and asks what he wants. Steven tells her, “I can’t keep on hurting you like this” and says that he’ll suck it up and still take her to the dance. Cathy says she’s with Joe now and tells Steven to beat it. Steven’s confused and thinks, How could anybody, especially somebody with Cathy’s good taste, prefer Joe Stupid Howell to Steven (the Great) Wakefield?
As Steven walks home, he thinks that maybe he’s a one-woman man after all and that this separation from Cathy just proved it. Especially since hanging out with and listening to Jill is causing him serious brain damage.
Jess and Liz finally figure out a way to meet the hotties. They show up at the Claybough house pretending to be conducting a poll aimed at ten-to-fourteen year old boys. Mrs. Claybough says no one that age is there; her nephews would have been perfect, but they went home. The twins are disappointed, and Jess realizes that there’s no way she’ll win her bet with Janet now.
At home, Steven is sulking about the way Cathy treated him and trying to figure out a way to get back together with her. He overhears the twins arguing in the living room about Pete’s cousins and remembers them asking him to talk to Pete. Steven tells his sisters that if they think they have it bad, wait till they hear his sob story. He tells them what’s going on with him and Cathy, and they say they have no sympathy because he was a jerk. Besides, he’s the one who dumped her. Steven says he’ll make a deal with them: if they help him win Cathy back, he’ll arrange dates for them with Pete’s cousins. Steven claims he’s already talked to Pete and that Pete’s just waiting on Steven to give him the go-ahead. The twins know he’s lying because the hotties have gone home, but they agree to the deal. Steven feels triumphant and figures that he’ll “probably” talk to Pete after Steven and Cathy are back together.
The next afternoon, Steven and the twins are outside the pharmacy, where they saw Cathy go in minutes before. Steven’s written a script for them to perform where Jessica acts upset and Steven pretends to comfort her like an awesome big brother would do. When Cathy comes out, Jessica bursts into tears on cue and Steven starts to comfort her… but then Liz appears and yells at Steven that she can’t believe he picked on Jessica until she cried. Steven is shocked that they’re not following his script. Cathy yells at Steven, saying he’s an even bigger creep than she thought.
When Cathy leaves, Jessica asks if Steven minded the improvising they did. He’s furious that they didn’t keep their end of the deal, but Jessica says they knew he was lying about keeping his because Pete's cousins had already gone home. Steven is shocked that he was caught in a lie. After the twins leave, Steven stays there… and pretty soon, he catches sight of Jill hanging all over Ferris!
That night, Steven’s still angry. He thinks, Life was completely unfair. Through absolutely no fault of his own, he’d lost two girlfriends even though he was one of the coolest dudes he had personally ever met.
Joe shows up to return a textbook he’d borrowed from Steven. Joe says he’s a one-woman man now and is going to invite Cathy to the street dance. Steven is jealous and lies to Joe, saying that Cathy called him up last night, wanting to get back together. Joe is shocked and angry, saying that if that’s true, he’s done with Cathy and advises Steven to be done with her too. Then Jill calls to say she’s getting back together with Ferris. Steven realizes Jill was just using him to make Ferris jealous.
Steven starts to feel terrible about everything. He goes to Jess and Liz and says he’ll get them dates for the dance if they help him get Joe and Cathy back together, since his lie probably broke them up and they don’t deserve that. The twins agree.
Friday night, the doorbell rings, and the twins open the door to find their dates on the porch. It’s Todd and Aaron! Carrying bouquets of flowers! Steven called them and told them that other guys were interested in the twins, so Todd and Aaron grew jealous and told their coach they had to miss the game so no guy would step in on their territory. The twins have won the bet!
At the street dance, Joe’s band is playing. He passes the microphone to Janet, who is forced to announce that the band is better than Johnny Buck’s. Then Joe and his band launch into a rendition of “You and Me”, which is Cathy’s and Steven’s song. The twins requested it and dedicated it to Cathy and Steven. Cathy comes up to Steven and asks him to dance. She tells him that Joe’s just a friend and that they were only pretending to date to make Steven jealous. Steven promises to think about her feelings from now on, and Cathy asks if they can get back together. They kiss.
Moral of the story: if a guy treats you like shit, dumps you for a bimbo, and then acts like a Big Man on Campus, you should not only want him back, you should actually take him back.