Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven's Enemy

[melody_powers]

Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven's Enemy

So the book boils down to this: everyone's mad at someone, but no one punches anyone. I wish this book were called "Todd's Enemy."

Comments

[mochaloca85]

Wow. Just wow. That cover seriously looks like Jess is flirting with Steven...again.

Meanwhile, Steven is having a bad day. His basketball coach has given his position to Ben Oliver, changing Steven from starting center to guard. I have no idea what this means, having no sports knowledge myself

Don't worry, the ghostwriter doesn't either. If Steve gets moved from center to guard it basically means one of a few things: a) Steven is short, b) Ben has a longer reach than Steven, c) Steven is a BETTER ball-handler than Ben, d) Steven is a better shooter than Ben, d) Steven knows how to make a free throw. I liken the center position to "Hey, you're tall! Stand there and make easy baskets over all these short people." Guard position takes much more skill.

[irinaauthor]

I know, right? I read that and was like, "He was moved from center to guard? What's he complaining about?"

[melody_power]

I know I'm late but... point guards are quite often the star of the team. It was ridiculous for Steven to be upset about it. Center is only the star in soccer. Stupid ghosties.

[lizisafatvirgin]

Moving from center to a guard means that Steven is not as tall as he thinks he is. Guards are typically the shortest of the team. Forwards are medium sized, power forward and center can be used interchangeably, depending on the big or small ball mentality.

[unnecessaryhat]

I agree that this cover is quite possibly the wackest ever. Jessica's flirty wave at her own brother, Steve's evil-eyebrows and high-wasted jeans, and the fact that Ben looks like he might turn around slowly revealing a hideous, deformed, monster-face. Or fangs. Ooh let's go with fangs.

[skyekissed]

I'm thinking he has no face at all. His head will just spin and spin with hair all around.

[melody_power]

I don't get a flirt vibe from Jess, I get a "nyah nyah" vibe.

[carolyn_keene]

Great recap! What's up with all the blue on the cover? Everyone is wearing blue! Maybe it's to represent Steven's mood. Seriously, he's a jealous idiot and needs to get over it. I love the "be a loser with Oliver" part. That's my sister's middle name so I'll have to make fun of her for it.

[kakeochi_umai]

What's up with all the blue on the cover? Everyone is wearing blue! Maybe it's to represent Steven's mood.

Yo listen up, here's a story about a little punchy guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he punches sees is just blue, like him
Inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little Spanish-tiled kitchen window
And a blue Fiat Spider Corvette, and everything is blue for him
And hisself (sic) and everybody around
Cause he ain't got nobody to listen (to listen, to listen...)

[sleepherealone]

LMAO I really love you for the song.

[kakeochi_umai]

Steven looks really scary on this cover. Ben looks middle-aged. No wonder Steven's pissed. How's he supposed to measure up to an Older Man? Can I call Jessica Wholahay?

Also, that bulge in Steven's shirt is seriously disconcerting.

Oh, Steven. If you're going to base your whole campaign on slagging off the opposition, at least do it in an entertaining way.

[carolyn_keene]

I think I love you! Not only was the song hilarious, but you love ANTM!

[kakeochi_umai]

My love of ANTM is entirely strangerface's fault. :P

[irinaauthor]

Great recap! Steven would've felt so much better if he'd just punched someone, you're right.

Just when you think Ned and Alice have hit the parenting rock bottom, they reach new lows. I'm trying to imagine my sixth grade self informing my parents I have a date with a high school boy, and my parents going, "Oh, okay, we'll drive you."

[irinaauthor]

Oh, and also, I just have to say that Steven Wakefield is the worst boyfriend in the world. He cheats on Cathy with a sixth grader. He's cruel to Tricia while she's dying. Cara has two birthdays in one year and he ruins both of them with his selfishness. Billie gets knocked up and he gets all creepy and possessive. Never date a Wakefield, no matter what gender you're into. I think that's the moral of the story.

[carolyn_keene]

Hear hear! As dysfunctional as my family is, we're 10x better than the Wakefields.

[melody_power]

I think it was supposed to be okay because Ben wasn't actually high school age, he was really supposed to be in 8th grade, but skipped a year. Still...