Behind his smiles

May 10, 2009 18:27

Title: Behind his smiles

Author: Aya

Pairing: Akame

Rating: PG-15

Genre: Angst, romance

Summary: "You feel Jin’s eyes on you, who sits beside you, but you avoid it, because you surly know now that during this many years the reason why you feel what you have been feeling: the hotness, your fast beating heart, the jealousy. You fell in love with your brother, during all of these years you were in love with him, still you are. And it’s scary, so damn scary. "

Behind his smiles I found my childhood.
Behind his smile I found my happy time.
Behind his smile I found his feeling towards me.
Behind his smile, I feel love.

(Sheenalinh)

Behind his smiles

You see his smiling face; you feel his small palm on your arm. He is always around you, always taking care of you, always saving you from the others, though you are still ten years old children. You are playing together almost every day in your house garden; he often jokes with you, sometimes you fight, and of course since he is the stronger one, you always find yourself beneath him. Your faces just inch from each other, you see he is blushing, leaving you there on the ground, as he stands up without saying a word.

You are brothers. He is the elder one, and you are watching him always with an admiration on your face, respectfully. You almost see your own shining eyes when he looks back at you; he is smiling, always smiling, sometimes you feel, that it’s just for you.

You become older, you feel you have a strong brother relationship, as he never leaves your side, always there for you, occasionally never lets someone to get close to you. He gives you a nickname, Kazu, and you happy that he forbids anyone to call you like that, only he has the right to use this name, and you like to hear it every time from him.

You sometimes think about your names, why you are a Kamenashi, and why he is an Akanishi. And when you were still a small child, you asked your parents about it, and they just said that you got your mother forename, and your brother got your father forename. You still didn’t really understand entirely, but when more and more questions were asked by you, after a while your parents chose to avoid them.

You are brothers, real brothers. It’s laughable, so laughable, because when he touches you, you feel the hot mark that his fingers leave on your skin. You don’t understand, you are fourteen years old, and you realize that you want to be on his side forever, want to live like this for an eternity. Might be, you think, you are just still too young, you just need your elder brother’s care, to be behind his back, to be able to feel him, because you feel yourself still a weak child.

Then you realize, that you aren’t week, not a bit, you are weak only when he is near to you, you feel butterflies in your stomach, every time when he, accidently or directly touches you. You still don’t understand anything, why you always waiting for his touches, his hugs. And he often hugs you, sometimes when you are crying when the boy next door, Ryo, hurts you, saying cruel things to you. Or when nothing actually happens, he just gives you a little hug, and you feel that your body temper growing higher and higher.

During those years, everything repeats again and again month after month: his touches, his hugs, his care. Through many years passes you feel your strong bond between each other, and you can’t imagine that one day you will fall apart. You see this fact impossible.

This is so absurd; your feelings don’t pass away. You are eighteen years old, both of you are growing up, but not that your feelings leave you, no, they’re just more stringent in you. It’s still so laughable, because you know that you are real brothers, and brothers don’t feel that for each other. But when you see him, you can’t stop your fast beating hearts; you are puzzled, so confused for years now. You always asking yourself: What’s this feeling?

You can’t stop being real brothers. How can you erase your feelings? You want them to go away, to stop feeling this hotness every time you see him. And you wonder if he feels the same. And deep inside his hearts you hope that he does, you hope that so much.

It happens that you go to the same university where he has been attended for a year now. Might be, you choose the same school directly, you want to be where he is. And you are happy, because you know that your days will be the same, he will be around you all day long. He found two good friends on the university, Yamapi and Ryo, though you don’t feel so happy because of Ryo, with his poison tongue he still hurts you a lot, and you know, he can do this, because you let him. But Jin is always there, your elder brother, and just saying Ryo that he can go to hell. You just smile, and deep inside you know, that you are more confident than you show to the world, but you continue showing yourself weak, because Jin will always there, and he will care for you from that onward, and you know, that this is the most important thing for you. He is the most important person for you.

Jin is often with his friends, but he brings you with him too. Sometimes going to a club, you never miss the girl’s greedy look on your brother. You don’t like it, you actually hate it, and occasionally you say ‘no’ to go with Jin and his friends in a party. Ryo this time always says that this is the best pleasure that he has in his life when you are not around.

Then one of the time you say ‘yes’ and go with them again in the club, you see Jin flirting with a girl on the dance floor. You see him making out with her, and then, you see them kissing. You see your brother lips on hers, and there, in that moment something breaks you into pieces. You feel jealous, so strong in your veins that it’s almost hurt. You want to go there, and pull them away from each other. And then, there, as you are watching them, their hands on each other’s body, you surly know that something is really wrong with you. You shouldn’t feel that; brothers don’t feel jealous for each other. At least, not in this way.

You go home alone, leaving the club without saying anyone. You feel like crying, you feel yourself dirty because of your feelings. It’s so hard to cope with your pain, with this whole situation, with your heart.

After two hours, when you are lying in your bed, awake, can’t get rid of the scene when your brother kissed that girl, he suddenly stands at your room’s door. He walks to your bed, saying that he was worried, and why you left so suddenly without a word. You just turned around, showing him your back, telling him that you are tired and please leave you alone. You can feel his eyes on your neck long minutes later, when you hear that he walks to your door, and closing it behind, you feel on your cheeks a tear drop slipping, reaching your lips, tasting salty in your mouth.

After that you never go with them to any club. You try to be deaf when Jin talks about his girlfriends, you recognize that he becomes really popular at the university, and again, you hate it, you hate every girl who’s near to him. Though, he never leaves you, he’s there for you always. The truth is, you try to avoid every small touch from him. He still smiles at you, with love in his eyes, and you always feel yourself breathless this time.

One day, when you are sitting in the living room with your parents, they say something to you, something that changes everything, you finally understand your feeling, and you realize that up till now you have been living in lie. They tell you that the both of you were adopted, right after you were born, when you were babies; that actually you aren’t real brothers. They say that they sorry for not telling it to you till now.

You feel Jin’s eyes on you, who sits beside you, but you avoid it, because you surly know now that during this many years the reason why you feel what you have been feeling: the hotness, your fast beating heart, the jealousy. You fell in love with your brother, during all of these years you were in love with him, still you are. And it’s scary, so damn scary.

After that, everything changes. Jin keeps himself away from you, he doesn’t touch you, doesn’t hug you, nor care about you intensively anymore. He almost has different girlfriends every week. And when they are in your house, you see them in the kitchen, or in the living room, or as they go into Jin’s room, you want to cry again, because it’s so cruel, Jin’s so cruel with you, though you can’t blame him, because he has no idea about your feelings, and he doesn’t feel the same. It’s so insane, to fall for your, now you know, step-brother, to love him from the bottom of your heart, clearly know that he never will be yours.

Maybe Jin doesn’t love you as a real brother anymore? Could it be, when he gets to know that you don’t have the same blood, he sees you as a stranger from now on? You can’t believe, you can’t believe that he changes so drastically. Though, you feel happiness behind the pain, because you know that there’s nothing wrong with you, you know now your feelings are real, and you aren’t sick, and from now on you can love him freely. And now you know that you are gay, though you keep it in secret.

Sometimes you talk with Jin, sometimes he gives you his smile, but it’s not that honest anymore, your relationship is not that honest anymore. You know, that it’s also your fault, because you give him a wide berth too. And there’s only half year left for Jin at the university until graduating; you know, after that he will begin his own life, and you won’t see him so frequently anymore.

Ryo often comes to your house, when Jin is at home, and sometimes when he is not, finding a lonesome you, he always say how horrible you look time to time as you grow up. You don’t really care about him, you get used to it, until one day something happens. You are at home alone again, Ryo is there, in the living room; you suddenly feel his hand on your hand, pulling you down on the couch, telling you, that he is sorry, he doesn’t meant those mean things that he has said to you, he actually finds you really attractive, maybe he truly loves you. You can’t say a word, and your eyes widen as you feel his lips on yours; kissing you roughly.

And then, Jin is standing at the living room’s door, watching you with wide open eyes, half open mouth. You want to say something, anything, but there’s no voice leaving your throat. Then you see Jin grabbing Ryo’s arm, hitting him on his face. They begin to fight, shouting with each other, and at last, Ryo leaves the house with angry steps.

Silence drowns between you two, until Jin begin shouting at you, telling you that what the hell were you guys doing, why the hell lead Ryo to kiss you? You shout back that you are not a child anymore and he shouldn’t behave with you like he were your parent; and what if you liked Ryo’s kiss, what then?

He stares at you with blankly eyes, an expression on his face what you can’t resolve. You feel his look burning you alive, and don’t know what to say, until he speaks: Good…good then, with some angriness still lingers in his voice, he leaves you alone, leaves you alone for a long time, because, after this fight you haven’t spoken for two months, you are completely avoiding each other, not only at the university, but at home as well. And you hardly can bear with it, what you have become to each other, and again and again, you are at the same point, that you can’t understand anything, can’t understand your brother’s behavior. Is it disturbing him that much when you prefer boys?

Ryo doesn’t leave you alone, he always asks you for a date, until one day you say ‘yes’ to him. You realize that you need giving up on Jin, who now presumably hates you. You don’t know why, all you know now, that this feeling will kill you, if you don’t stop it in your heart. Though, Jin is talking to you again, but from far away, from the other side of the room, never goes near to you anymore.

Jin sees you again when Ryo kisses you, and you see again his burning eyes, the hatred in them, but there’s nothing you can do, you have to, no, you must get rid of him: this is the best solution.

One day, when you half asleep, you feel hot lips on your mouth, warm fingers on your chest, but when you open your eyes, your room is empty, there’s no one around you, and you know that you were just dreaming, and you know that too, that you often have dreams about Jin. And those dreams sometimes wet, passionate, his body was on your body and you hate when you have to wake up from it.

You feel it again, those hot lips on your mouth, on your cheeks, on your neck, and they feel so good, everything is so damn hot around you, but every time you open your eyes, you just find yourself in your empty room.

Those warm fingers are like some drugs, you’re waiting for them every night, they are so familiar, though, you exactly know that this is just a dream, it’s not Jin, it’s impossible that your step-brother touching you while you are sleeping.

Still, you’re dating with Ryo, he becomes your boyfriend. Jin talks to him again, it seems that he’s calmed down completely, and doesn’t angry at him anymore. But then Ryo asks you while Jin is there with you in the living room too, if you would sleep in his house tonight. When seconds later you answer with an awkwardly ‘yes’, you see Jin’s freezing, standing up, and both of you hear as he closes his room’s door with a load bang. You know, that he still hates you, still hates you because you dating with a guy, one of his best friends.

You make love with Ryo, while you see Jin instead of him, you just think of your step-brother, you imagine that it’s him who is touching you, he is the one who kissing you and he is the one whom you feel inside you. After that, you feel yourself dirty, that you begin showing a fake smile, a fake face of yours to Ryo. And because you betrayed your own feelings, you know that you shouldn’t do this with Ryo, he loves you a lot, and that’s why, sometimes when you want to tell him that you should break up, he doesn’t let you to.

The next day when you get home after school, you hear Jin and Ryo are talking in the kitchen, Jin awkwardly questions if you and Ryo had make love the night before, and when your boyfriend says ‘yes’, you hear as a glass breaking on the kitchen’s floor, right after that is Ryo’s laughing tone, as he says to Jin: Bakanishi, you are so damn lame. And you hear Jin’s little shaking voice: Shut up, bastard. When you step into the kitchen as well, Jin doesn’t look at you, just leaving immediately.

At nights, you don’t feel those hot lips on your body, you can’t feel those warm fingers on your cheek, on your neck again, and you realize that without them how empty the nights become.

You will never forget that afternoon, on that day when Jin’s graduated, when you and your parents are eating the warm food at the table for that celebrating party, Jin suddenly says: I’m leaving in L.A. for two years; you feel as your fork leaving your fingers, dropping back at you plate with a load tone, while you watching him, watching your step-brother, watching your first and only love.

You protest, you tell him, that you can’t believe that he is leaving, and why he is just telling them now. But Jin doesn’t answer, he just give you a bitterly smile, so bitterly that you feel your heart breaks into pieces, again.

You know that only three day left, and he will go away, leaving everything behind him for two years. You know that his friends has organized for him a farewell party, and you know that you have to go there too, though your heart’s protesting, it doesn’t want to say that painful goodbye, but you go anyway.

You drink a lot, too much, while you are watching Jin, and this time you are happy, because in the party there aren’t any girls, just your brother’s nearest friends. You see as he is drinking too much as well, laughing, and you can see his smile again, though for years now, he hasn’t showed it to you anymore.

You feel Ryo’s hand on your shoulder, as he doesn’t want to let you go. And you see that Jin recognizes that too, his eyes many times fall on Ryo’s fingers which are on your body during the night, but this time Jin isn’t angry, doesn’t protest, doesn’t say a word, instead he keeps smiling, talking with his friend, drinking onward. Might be, you think, he’s dealing with the fact, that his little brother loves boys. But honestly, you want that he dealt with the fact, that you love him.

At the end of the night, you call a taxi; you are drunk, but Jin is drunker than you, so you have to touch him, hold him, you have to help him to get in the car. And when you are sitting on the back seat, you feel Jin’s head on you shoulder, the scent of his shampoo, and the scent of his perfume. And you know you get lost, because you haven’t been so near to him for years. You feel your fast beating heart, your hot body again. You feel the feelings you have been feeling for years now.

When you steps with him into your house, his hand on your shoulder and he murmurs something about love and jealousy and secret kisses, you can’t hardly understand his words. You bring him in his room, lie him down on the bed, covering him with the blanket, but when you want to leave, you feel his fingers grab your wrist, pulling you down to the bed, and you find yourself facing him. You look deeply into his beautiful eyes, which are watching you with so many emotions that you can’t read.

And then, you feel his lips on yours, those hot lips and those warm fingers on your cheek, on your neck, which are so familiar, which you had felt always in your dreams. You feel those fingers in your hair, you feel as he deepens the kiss, his tongue on yours, and you can’t help but just moaning. You feel dizzy; you can’t really believe that this happens with you. You feel in Jin’s taste the smoke and the alcohol; you feel everything and anything, the world is disappearing, and in your body the hotness is just growing and growing. You touch him too, feeling his burning skin, he kisses you gently, yet passionately, that you forget to breath. You can’t think, just feel, feel his beautiful touches, during that you hear your own heart’s beats in your ears.

He murmurs something in your mouth, which you can’t understand again, and he places his head on the pillow, with closed eyes, little bit hard breathing, and minutes later he falls into deep slumber.

You’re just standing there, at the edge of his bed for long minutes, watching him. You are totally confused, still can’t decide that it was dream of reality. But your tingling mouth, your hot body, the warmth in your heart, you know the answer. You have a lot of questions in your head, about how your step-brother feels towards you, why he did what he have done, did he know that he was kissing you, or might be mistake him with one of his girlfriends?

You are still confused when you go back to your room, lying down on the bed, and in the night you can’t sleep.

During the two days that left until Jin’s leaving, he never mentions that kiss, he does as it never happens, killing that ridiculous hope in you, because you know that it is ridiculous hoping that might be Jin feels something for you too. You aren’t even sure if he remembers the kiss, since he was drunk. Instead of showing you some honest emotions, he just gives you his fake smile, because you are sure, that it’s fake, you know his real smile, and what he gives you now, it isn’t the real one.

You give up forever, when you are standing in the airport; he is in front of you, watching you a little bit uncertain, and when he takes some steps towards you, in you still the ridiculous hope that might be he was going to hug you, like back then, when you were younger. But he stops when he could really reach you, just says to you: Take care.

As you see his back, walking out of your life for two years, or might be, forever, you don’t feel like your heart still beating anymore.

For months it is hard, though your relationship wasn’t that good with Jin in the last time, you miss him, miss his presence, when you know that anything could happen, you could see him day after day. But you know, it’s over; he isn’t here anymore. You can’t study, you can’t concentrate on anything, and you find yourself always watching your phone, for might be he would call you. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t care about you as he used to anymore.

You break up with Ryo, you can’t do this, with him, and neither with yourself. He protests, saying that you can handle this, he would give you anything. It’s true that he haven’t told you that he knows about your feelings towards Jin, but you know that he knows it, though when he gives up, and he walks out of your life as well, he still doesn’t mention it.

Sometimes your parents give you the phone, Jin is on the other side of the line, but you are just talking for transient minutes, not about special things. You find yourself alone, you feel everything so dark around you and you feel helplessly weak. But one day you wake up, and say to yourself that it’s enough, you must pull yourself together, you must go on, you must live you life. You feel your real self again, you come to many party, you get to know lots of new people, some of them become your good friends. You feel that your real life has begun; you feel you got rid of Jin, or you just want to feel that, but you’re trying, really trying.

Month after month you have many boyfriends, you have many one-night stand. You say yourself that it’s good, you don’t want any serious relationship, you just want to have fun, want to live your life finally. Your notes become better at university, and you are happy, because, you have now a lot of good friends. You feel, everything is alright, though you never forget about Jin, but you calm down, saying to yourself that you have to learn living life without him.

You are standing in the school, your degree’s in your hand. You graduated as well with good notes. And you think of Jin, that one year before, on this night you kissed, but then you try to forget about this actually really hot thing, till your phone is ringing. You see Jin’s name on its monitor, you pick up with shaking hands. He congratulates; you speak some meaningless sentence, until he asks about Ryo and your relationship. You tell him that you broke up, wondering why Ryo haven’t told Jin about it yet, and might be you just imagined, but you hear the happiness in your step-brother voice, until you tell him that you have a new boyfriend. He silences after that, and at last, he says that he doesn’t stay in L.A. for two years, the next week he will come home.

Your hand is still shaking when you hang up. No, you say to yourself, no, you can’t handle this yet, you can’t, because your heart beats again faster and you know that if you see him again, you can’t hold your feelings back. You feel that you need some more time, just a little bit more to forget about your feelings. One year is too scant for forgetting completely about Jin.

But you can’t change his decision, and you find yourself standing again on the airport’s floor, totally nervous, you are watching the crowd, waiting from it Jin’s appearance. When you finally see him, and your eyes meet, you feel that for seconds the world stopped. He walks to you, doesn’t care about your parents, about his friends, dropping his bag on the floor, he hugs you, tightly, so tight that you afraid your bones is going to break. You hug him back, you feel tears in your eyes, especially when he whispers: I miss you…I miss you so much.

But then, when you open your eyes again, and he steps away from you, you see above his shoulder a woman. He introduces her to you, as his fiancé. You smile, but you know that in your smile there isn’t any sincerity, and you are so in shock that you miss recognizing, that his fiancé looks so similar to you, that she has that brown hair, that brown eyes, a similar face, a similar body shape that you have.

That night you can’t sleep, you see the clock, it shows 2 AM in the night. Jin is home at last, but he brings along himself another pain for you. It’s so unfair. So fucking unfair. You know that Jin and his girlfriend are in the next room, you know that maybe they’re making love, and you just want to run away from home, you don’t want to live with that scene.

Day after day you go with them almost everywhere, in the cinema, where Jin by accident, or directly, you really can’t decided, touch your hand all the time, and when you look at him, he just whispers every time: I’m sorry. But he does it again and again. You feel the awkwardness around you. It doesn’t matter where you are, having dinner, or in a park, while his fiancé is there with you, you always feel Jin’s eyes on you. When you look at him, he shows you his tired smile, as if he’s just actually tired of something. You feel that how much you missing his honest, happy smile.

Then one night your boyfriend shows up in your house, you are in the living room with Jin and his girlfriend, talking. But Jin is teasing your partner continuously, throwing on him cruel words, and you know those words your step-brother actually means them seriously, and you are confused, especially when you see that he is watching your boyfriend as he wants to kill him.

When your boyfriend stands up to leave, you follow him to the door. He gives you a slight kiss, saying: Then, tomorrow will you sleep at my place? , you say just a ‘yes’, and he steps out the door, and you’re closing it. When you turn around, you see that Jin is standing at the hall as well. You just bite your lips, and without looking at him, you walk beside him. But you hear as Jin says slightly: The fuck you will sleep at his place. You surprise, but when you turn around he is back in the living room, back to his fiancé. And you are wondering if he was jealous.

You can’t sleep again, you hear noises from Jin’s room, and you burry your head under your pillow. You really don’t want to hear it. But then the voices abruptly stop, for a while you just hear the noises from the street, as a car arrive, its door slams with a load bang, and there’s silence again. You close your eyes, trying to sleep, without success.

Half an hour later you open your eyes, you see Jin’s standing at your door, wearing a robe, watching you, you can see his shining eyes in the dark, you hold your breath back, and you wish it was the morning, not in the night to see the expression on his face.

Jin?, you whisper, and you are sure, that he will leave, but instead he locks the door, and goes to you, lying on the bed beside you, whispering that he wants to know what happened with you in this one year, he wants to know simply everything. You begin talking, and he’s listening to you, sometimes commenting, and you feel again the strong bond between you, then after when you finish talking, there’s a silence between you and you can’t hold yourself back. You are searching for his hand with your own fingers on the sheet, and when you touch it, he shakes a little, turning his head towards you, watching you again with those unreadable emotions on his face, in his eyes. He snuggles up to you, and you can feel again his arms around you, hugging you again so tightly as in the airport. I’m tired of the pretending, he says with a husky voice; you can feel his hot breath on your neck, in his hug with so many longing.

I can’t take this anymore he whispers, then you feel his hand slipping under the blanket, touching your naked stomach. You are just wearing your pants. You are surprise, while you feel your body temperature growing.

I can’t hold myself back anymore, he says, and he leans in to kiss your neck, with those hot lips, so fucking hot lips. You hear in your ears again your so strong beating heart, just like when he first kissed you.

I can’t see you by anyone side anymore, he says, while you feel those warm fingers on your chest, on your cheeks, in your hair, and you know that you are not drunk, though you feel yourself so damn drunk because of Jin’s touches. But the most important, that you know that he isn’t drunk either, not a bit, you know that he is sober, you know that he wants that too.

I thought if I’m leaving, this feeling will disappear, he whispers, and your hands found your blanket falling to the floor, and now Jin can see your body completely. He is climbing on top of you, leaning down to your lips, and whispering again: And I know I immediately fail when I saw you at the airport.

You see as he is searching something on your face, in your eyes. Something which can be a proof telling that you feel the same, that you understand what he is talking about. Then you comb your fingers in his hair, pulling him down, and you kiss him. Kissing him so passionately, so much longing, so much happiness and desire, and you are sure, that he understands, understands how much you are aspiring after him during those many years.

First, you just caress each other’s body lightly, hands everywhere, lips everywhere. But then, you really can’t hold yourselves back anymore, your movements become more passionate, more hectic with love in the air. You feel yourself alive; you feel that you finally found your real world, your real happiness in his arms.

Cloths are on the floor, now you can see each other completely naked body, while you are breathing hard. I want you so much, he whispers in your ear, and you say to him, how much you want him too, that either you can’t stand this anymore and you are just his. You hear that through your words he’s breathing harder than before.

When you finally feel him inside you, you feel that burning pleasure, which he is the only one, your only one who can gives it to you completely. You feel your body moving on the sheet every time through his thrusts. You kiss him again, you are moaning continuously in each others’ mouth. You grab his hair, painfully; you feel you can’t stand this pleasure, telling him that oh, god, this is feel so damn good, telling him that don’t stop.

When you are reaching your climax, you feel the world stopped again, you feel that the time stopped in his arms, and just the happiness left here with you, and the pain disappeared from your body entirely.

You are lying in each other’s arms, for a long time, you are exhausted, you just lying there listening to each other’s heart beating. Then he reaches out his arms, hugs you from behind, and you can feel on your back his warm chest.

You feel the reality again, you ask him about his fiancé. Then he tells you that he broke up with her, and she is now at the airport, going back to L.A. He tells you everything, that he always wants you, wants to touch you, to hug you, to care for you, and he didn’t dare to do these things, because he knew that he couldn’t stop before something serious happened between you, because you were his brother, and you know that you are forbidden to him.

But when you got to know that you are not real brothers, he began avoiding you, because he knew that with this fact, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore, and he was afraid from your parents’ reactions, from the world’s reactions, though there wasn’t any obstructive thing, because you isn’t forbidden to him anymore. He tells you how many times he kissed you in the dark, in your room while you were sleeping. But he thought that you didn’t feel the same and that you loved Ryo, how jealousy he felt. He decided to go to L.A., leaving you and his feelings behind, hoping them will disappear. But he came back, and found again his feelings. He left here, but these feelings were waiting him to feel them again, and he just simply can’t say no anymore to them, he doesn’t afraid from anything anymore, he just wants you and you only.

Then you tell him everything with a smile on your face, you tell him how much you love him, how much you want him, you tell him, that you couldn’t love anyone, you couldn’t feel that deep love towards anyone like you feel towards him, up till now.

When you turn to him, you can see his smile, his honest, happy smile; the smile that you have missed so much, the smile that exists just for you. You are happy, so happy that you lose words to describe your feeling.

And finally you understand what his feelings behind his smiles were during that many years.

He loves you.

* * *

Thank you for the super fast beta-ing to my beloved sheenalinh <3

I hope you liked it.

Comments are 'Jin's smiles' :)

fanfiction, akame, one-shot, behind his smiles, pg-15

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